Saturday, February 25, 2017

Desperation leads to Sad Sex

So the last time we had sex was February 10 (here) and I've slowly been climbing up the walls ever since. We didn't have sex on Valentine's Day, nor on the days or weekends following and this sent me into a tailspin. I tried desperately to fathom why my wife was rebuffing my attempts at intimacy and it wasn't helped by the discovery of plans she was making to see This Guy in Europe in April.

Added to that was our pending trip to Mexico (we leave today) and the memory of the last time she went: This Guy had ordered up a limo and taken my wife from the BNG conference in LA for a wild night in Tijuana. Her BNG BFF was with her that night, and it was a night they earned themselves the nickname 'the BNG Party Girls'. I don't know specifically what they did, but I do know they ended up in Biker Bar that had strippers in the front and a brothel at the back. The mind boggles.

So this time the BNG conference is actually in Mexico and this time I get to go. This Guy won't be there but my wife's BNG BFF is travelling with us and I'm well aware that the pressure is on for us to relive that wild night two years ago. It's all her BFF talks about. This Guy has even mentioned it in his private emails to my wife.

So this past week in particular has been hard and I've had next to no sleep. Everytime I went to bed I was confronted with the fact that my wife was right next to me physically and yet so far away sexually. She clearly didn't want to make love to me (or me to her) and was instead planning her European meet with This Guy in April (under the auspice's of yet another BNG conference - how many does she need to go to, really?)

And so it was that at 5am on Friday morning I was still tossing and turning in my bed. I'd been arguing with myself about whether to masturbate since I hadn't had any sexual release since this and I didn't know what mood I'd be in in Mexico if I didn't. I'd been holding off in the vain hope that my wife would respond - but she hadn't. Maybe she had something planned for Friday night, since I know we'd be partying in Mexico with her BNG buddies as soon as we got there. Besides, her BFF was travelling with us and staying with us too, so we weren't going to be fucking on our shared room.

So... somehow I ended up standing beside my wife on her side of the bed staring at her. She had the covers off and was half naked. She had been snoring lightly moments earlier but now she wasn't.

"Can't sleep?" she murmured in the darkness.

I said nothing.

"What do you want?" she asked softly, half yawning.

I dropped my boxers to the floor, again without a word in answer. She reached out and grabbed my stiff prick, fondling it slowly, feeling it's length, rubbing her thumb over the head. Satisfied I was rock hard she started stroking me faster.

"Horny are you?" she said, rhetorically. I stepped closer and leaned down to to squeeze her breast and cup her pussy simultaneously.

"It's been so long," I grunted "I'm ready to burst".

Now it was she who was quiet.

I wet my fingers and started working her pussy with my hand. She started jacking me faster, whilst squirming beneath me. Her cunt was wet so I leaned down to lick her clit. My tongue pushed and probed but I couldn't find it. How could she be wet but not aroused? This just added to the confusion swirling in my head.

I'm not sure how but now I was between her legs, her back arched as I pushed forward and entered her. She moaned and squirmed beneath me as I started fucking her. Her arms were splayed out by her sides and her head tossed from side to side, but slowly. She wasn't thrashing. She was moaning. She was dialing up the vibrator speed, making it amp up harder. The vibrator. yes, at some point we had got the vibrator out.

Now she was starting to thrash around, gritting her teeth as the orgasm approached. My cock was lubed, I remembered that. I pulled my cock out and aimed at her asshole. She was clearly in throes of passion, about to cum, so this would be the best time to fuck her ass. I was all lubed up and ready to cum. It would be quick and painless.

"What are you doing?" she asked, "why are you doing that?"


That was not good. Now was not the right time. I changed back, reinserting my rock hard cock into her pussy. We'd hardly skipped a beat and she her back arched again as I slid in.

"I'm ready to cum" I said, holding her thighs tightly as my dick slid in slowly, balls deep. Once all the way in I held her there, without moving. She was fingering herself furiously and using the vibe at the same time. I was just remaining motionless - I knew if I moved I'd cum.

I came anyway.

I felt the orgasm but not the ejaculation. I was so detached from what was happening - I could feel the orgasm but not the ejaculation. I knew I should move, make some thrusts so my balls would slap her ass, but I didn't. I just held her there and came. Was any sperm coming out or was I just feeling a soft dull pleasure? I had no way of knowing.

"I'm cumming" I said, but I was really on the downward slope already. I still hadn't moved a muscle and yet my wife hadn't noticed. She had been moving for the both of us, I guess. She stopped too and reached over to the nightstand to grab the tissues.

I pulled out and used the tissues to catch the mess. There was a lot of mess. Clearly there was sperm coming out when I came, and lots of it. Lots of it. I kissed her and rolled over and went to sleep. It was 5.30am.  I woke up again at 8.30, feeling like shit. She was fine and getting ready for her first  meeting.

I apologised and told her I felt really bad for 'disturbing' her like that. I said I didn't like doing it that way, but I couldn't help myself - it had been so long since we'd last had sex and my baser instincts took over. I said that I felt like a rapist.

She said that she quite enjoyed it. From her tone I could tell what she meant was that secretly she really enjoyed it. She said she didn't have a problem being woken up like that early in the morning, and then squeezed my butt and headed out for her first meeting.

You're probably thinking this is good news for me, but it's not.

I am absolutely not a morning person. I cannot function in any way before 10am. The only reason I managed to on Friday morning was because I'd actually been up all night.

This sux.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Mistress Asmondena for #fetishfriday

via Instagram

A little #instagramshrine I made for Mistress Asmondena!
All images © Mistress Asmondena, find her at @mistress_asmondena of course!
#fetishmodel #rubber #latex #beautiful

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Surplus to requirements

I've just scheduled two posts for March that relate to Japan. I had to upload a few images to illustrate them but this one was surplus to requirements (since it didn't fit the theme).

The Japanese love anime and Japanese men love their anime porn especially. It generally features young women (girls really) and it can be very deviant* - very young girls, tentacles, and rape are common and popular themes. This is generally credited for both the low birth rate (the Japanese don't have much sex apparently) and the small number of rapes in the country. But given the culture of Japan (predominantly male dominated, and very open/accepting of 'deviant'* porn) one might wonder how many unreported rapes there are?

*deviant, as defined by American standards. (And yes, I think very young girls and rape fantasies are a deviation from the norm too - definitely not my thing)

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

My wife and This Guy, texting again ~ Part 2

My wife and This Guy have been continuing to plan for their reunion in {European city}. I won't go into all the background details again but check out the This Guy tags below and My wife and This Guy, texting again ~ Part 1. His words are in gray, and hers in blue.

Do you think:

  1. They're planning to get it on
  2. They're not 'planning' to get it on per se but you don't have to be a television scriptwriter to see where this is headed.
  3. There is nothing to worry about, they're just a couple of BNG pals looking forward to catching up.
  4. Anyone from BNG is going to tip me off if things get borderline (because others I know are going)? Or does what happen on conference stay on conference?**

I have this metaphor I use about infidelity. People often say they never planned to cheat on their partner: "it just happened". Sometimes they will blame it on alcohol: "we were drunk, it just happened." These excuses always remind me of a bunch of high spirited teenage girls around a pool. No-one plans to jump in the pool with their clothes on but somehow it always happens.

One minute you're standing by the edge of the pool (possibly talking loudly to your BFF about how "OMG Becky, we are standing so close to the pool! Careful, or we might fall in!!" and then the next minute some boy is pushing you in and you're all wet. All wet and your t-shirt/blouse is clinging to your skin and everyone can pretty much see your boobs, including that cute boy you were hoping would notice you. Oh no, how did that happen?!

"It just happened" of course, not your fault.

I've told my wife once "If you stand that close to the edge of the pool don't be surprised if you fall in and get wet. If you want to stay dry then don't stand by the edge of the pool." I made this comment because my wife was going through a phase where she was partying very hard (without me, but with her BNG buddies) and coming home quite drunk.

My wife then replied "You get so paranoid, I don't like it. If you keep thinking I'm having an affair then one day I might as well have one, since you think I'm having one anyway."

I still don't believe that was the right way to respond to my concerns.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

TMI Tuesday: February 21, 2017 ~ Fill-in the blanks

Fill-in the blanks...

1. I am too busy to _____ .
Um, I'm not really. Maybe that's the problem? Maybe I have too much time on my hands, too much time to think over-think, hence all my angst? (I finally got to sleep at 4.30am this morning and up again at 8.38am - this is not good)

2. Last week I did not do TMI Tuesday because _____ . 

3. Last week’s TMI Tuesday’s _____ were _____ .
Last week’s TMI Tuesday questions were interesting.
(and last week’s TMI Tuesday answers were too long???)

4. _____ depends on dreams.
Happiness depends on dreams.

5. Virgin _____ .
Virgin Atlantic. I've never flown them. Why is that? I should really give them a try.

Bonus: The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
This assumes you forget what you know. Not always true. Anything I've forgotten was most likely extraneous and therefore wiped from my data storage unit to make room for new information. Learning is a good thing. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. What did I learn this week? Something very interesting about This Guy and my wife. It gets a post all on it's own tomorrow.

Double Bonus: An update on Monday Morning Blues: my wife has swapped our 4 night booking (an $800 deal) for her friends 6 night booking (but we're only using 5 nights) for a cost of $2,000 + paying for a fancy dinner at the hotel. [See the link, her BNG friend will be there but his brother cancelled on a non refundable special deal so her friend offered us his brothers' room]. Evidently the room cost $3,000 but we're getting it for $2,000. Which by my calculations means we're paying $1200 (+ plus dinner for her friend and his wife for giving us this great deal!) for that one extra night - albeit in a much better room. It doesn't sound like a good deal to me but what do I know? You gotta spend money to make money, right?

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, February 20, 2017

Monday Morning Blues

My wife bought lube yesterday while at the supermarket. I saw it in the grocery bag when she came home (along with the tampons she'd bought our daughter). I thought maybe that meant we were in for some action last night, but no, nothing happened. Despite us going out for a nice dinner with her parents last night. But no, when she got home she went straight back on her computer and booked a double room in [European city] for when she visits This Guy in April. (She doesn't know I know, of course).

The thing is, we fly to Mexico for two weeks on Saturday. One week for a BNG conference and another week for 'a vacation'. The vacation will be with a bunch of BNG people (did I mention it has cult-like qualities?) so it will really just be an extension of the conference, but without the 'Morning Speaker' and 'Afternoon Speaker', ie just a lot of excuses for excessive drinking and showing off.

Oh well, what's the worst that can happen? That I have to look at Latina hotties like this lounging by the pool all day? Sign me up!

The other thing is, my wife's BNG BFF is also travelling with us. This is the woman my wife had that Tijuana escapade with (courtesy of This Guy) and was party to The night my wife went off at me (scroll down to the last 3 paragraphs for that bit). So I suspect I've been 'invited' because my wife needs/expects a sober companion to keep her and her BFF from running completely amok. By which I mean they will run amok anyway but I will be there to ensure they get back to bed at the end of it.

Now when I was first told that her BFF was joining us I assumed she would be staying with us too (ie a two bedroom apartment/hotel room) which I knew would cramp any chance of sex with my wife while we were away. But I was wrong and although the BFF would be travelling with us (for safety, her being a single woman) she would have her own hotel room. So "Yay!" I thought, maybe we would get some romantic time for ourselves after all.

Then it was back to "Boo!" yesterday when I saw an email from another of her BNG buddies. He was cancelling his attendance but because he'd bought a special deal on a 6 star hotel there would be no refund. So he was offering it to my wife free of charge if she wanted it. My wife asked about her BFF and he said there was another bed in the sofa, so my wife said "Yay! We'll take it!"**. And then he mentioned the room cost $3,000 for the week... and knowing my wife as I do she'll be giving him most of that (if not all of that) because she doesn't want to be seen as a cheapskate, she wants to be seen as a high roller.

The crazy thing is, if the situation was the other way around my wife would be giving away the room, and refusing any payment. I've seen her do similar a dozen times.

Anyway, that means the BFF won't be in her own room but in ours - the exact same physical space as us. So there will definitely be no intimacy! If this were a different type of sex blog you might say "Cheer up Nero, maybe you'll all come home drunk one night and one thing will lead to another and you'll end up in a 3way?" But it's not that type of sex blog so I know that shit aint happening. Not in a million years.

But maybe I'm wrong, maybe... no, let's not waste any time on fantasies. What I'm really interested in pondering is whether my wife and I will have any sex before the week is out. Did she buy that lube to use in Mexico or did she buy it now to 'give me one' before we go, so I won't get all grumpy while we're away? It might be fun to run a sweepstake readers: will it happen tonight (Monday)? or Wednesday (scheduled sex night, even though that has completely fallen by the wayside) or Friday night (last chance before we fly out on Saturday)?


Even though my wife said "Yay! We'll take it!" to her BNG buddy she was saying to me "[X] has offered us his room for free, but it's a block from where the conference is so we'll just stay in the one I booked." I have no idea why she's done this. I wonder how she'll explain it a week from now?

Sunday, February 19, 2017

This video made me sad...

I know the Bible says "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife" (it's one of the Ten Commandments) but I covet Chrissy Teigen. And it's okay because my wife covets Chrissy Teigen too. She's never admitted it but I'm pretty damn sure my wife would answer "Chrissy Teigen" if ever asked 'Who would you turn Gay for?'  I'm not kidding, we watch Lip Sync Battle from time to time and my wife is all eyes on Chrissy Teigen. She just loves her. Seriously.

I'm pretty sure somewhere in my wife's mind Chrissy Teigen represents the perfect ideal of what my wife could have been if her life had been different.  If she was living in a parallel universe my wife would be Chrissy Teigen. But she wouldn't be married to John Legend, she'd be single and vamping it up with ALL the guys. She'd have her pick of handsome, urbane, wealthy, worldly, and powerful men.  Just like in one of her dirty books.

But I digress.

The reason the video made me sad was because Chrissy Teigen seems sooo sexy, fun loving, and devoted to her man. You just know she and John Legend are madly in love and having lots and lots of awesome sex. That's why I covet Chrissy Teigen - she loves her man and holds nothing back. My wife on the other hand (you knew this was coming didn't you?) loves me but has no passion for me. She does not want to jump my bones, and fudges when I try to jump hers.

She'd be the first to say "If you looked like John Legend I'd jump on you too" but I don't think it's really that. If you love someone, truly love them, then you take them as they are. You don't get put off by a few extra pounds - in fact if you truly love someone you don't even see those extra pounds. Love is blind after all, amiright?

Chrissy Teigen as she appears in the video above.
Yeah, you're gonna scroll back and watch it now aren't you? :)

We still haven't had sex since Two Nights of Mindfuckery happened, despite my efforts to entice her. And I don't just mean giving her Kindleporn on Valentines Day (see Another sucky Valentine's Day to see how that turned out) I really did try to make some romantic gestures across the week - which were all rebuffed. She spent Wednesday in another city so I sent some flirty texts about being her private Uber driver (she'd mentioned on Monday how the Uber driver had flirted with her and was asking questions that made it clear he was interested if she was interested) and picked her up at 10pm from the Airport.

She chuckled at my texts but by the time I collected her (flight delays) she was in no mood for anything. And that mood continued all week. I'm not even going to get into it now because it's the same ol' same ol' - we had a lovely time on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday but ... nothing. When we get to the bedroom it's lights out and then... "it's really late". (That was the comment she made when I placed my hand on her hip. She rolled over and away...)

So it's Sunday 2.24am and I'm alone again. Feeling sorry for myself. Nothing new there either so I'll stop now. Thank you for listening.