Wednesday, November 14, 2018

#WickedWednesday ~ #StoryIn12 : "Meal"

#StoryIn12 is a meme that runs on Twitter (see @StoryIn12) where quite simply you're given a prompt word and have to write a 'story' in twelve words - including the prompt word. It's a lot of fun - sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's very hard (to convey a story in only 12 words). This one was difficult because I couldn't decide whether '69' should be counted as two words ('sixty nine') or one - and then the same problem again with 'you're'. Does it count as one word or two ('you are')?

It's not covered in the #StoryIn12 rulebook since there aren't any rules (other than you must use 12 words - no more, no less) because, as I said, it's just a fun thing. Give it a go if you're on Twitter...

The second bit of fun I had was trying to find a pic to illustrate my story. Normally I don't bother (no time) but sometimes I do, and this time I was keen to stress the 'eating out' nature of 69 so I figured the addition of a pic might underscore that. (My first draft included the phrase 'eating it out' but that had me at 16 words, which I shaved down to 14, before admitting defeat and starting afresh to get down to 12)  I punched '69' into the Tumblr search box and got surprisingly few hits.

I suspect 69 is a hashtag that gets you shadow banned?

You can see the first search result I got above, which was one of about six photo panels on Tumblr. Initially I didn't see in the first few panels what later became abundantly clear in the final panels, and it made me laugh when I did notice it. She was quite a hottie until that point! Still is, I suppose, but not my thing. I almost used the first pic to illustrate my #StoryIn12 but I chickened out, searched again and used the 'safe' (ie heterosexual) one below instead.

I don't consider myself transphobic, I just didn't want anyone on Twitter getting confused about what I'm into. 

The irony is that when this Blogger post cross-posts to Twitter (@NeroTweetsHere) it will likely show the first image anyway (sometimes the widget misfires and doesn't show any pics) and when it cross posts to Tumblr (NeroTumblesHere) it will definitely show the top pic. C'est la Vie!

Anyway, here's what I managed to do with the prompt word 'meal' :

69: a meal for two when you're both too lazy to cook.



This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ November 13, 2018 - Tough Decisions

Miranda Kerr ©

1. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them? (I know TMI Tuesday blog is number one, so name three other things).
~ i] Traveling overseas, especially if it's to a new place I haven't been to before
ii] Knowing I'm gonna have the whole house to myself for a while, meaning I can get some 'solo' time.
iii] Yesterday I actually wrote up a fantasy that excites me - I often imagine it, as in 'what if...?' You can read it here.

2. When sleeping with your significant other (yes, actually sleeping) do you like to cuddle up or do you prefer sleeping away from them nestled in your own blanket cocoon?
~ I've mentioned this before. We have a SuperKing-size bed ie larger than King Size. This means we both sleep on opposite sides of the bed, with room in between for a third. Not that there's ever a third. If ever I move closer to my wife she moves further away, which isn't easy given she's already on the edge of the bed. Lately I've been sleeping in the movie room (about 90% of the time) which is a whole other blog post.

Source: on Insta ©
3. Would you rather:
a. Drive 200 miles well over the legally drunk limit?
b. Drive 200 miles after being awake for 72 hours?
~ I chose B because A is illegal. B is probably also illegal but you have a greater chance of getting away with it if stopped by a cop. B probably leaves you just as impaired as A, but I have managed it when I was younger.  B has probably killed more fledgling rock bands than A.

4. Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time

b. Pantless all the time
~ A of course, because I'm a dude! Me topless is no great treat, but me pant-less is even worse. Ladies should always be pant-less - in a big man-size white shirt, slightly open with teasing cleavage. Like Miranda Kerr above, or this woman.

5. What is something you could talk about for hours?
~ You. You're so beautiful and gorgeous and just an all round stunning individual. I really want to get to know you better, ALL of you, so lets just lay here a while and talk. Really talk. About real things - the real things that really matter in this crazy mixed up world we live in. So crazy. I bet you're crazy. Crazy in bed, I mean. I bet you're really good in bed, right? Amiright?

Bonus: What is something you could talk about for hours and not bore people to death?
~ Myself. I'm so fascinating. Ladies love me, girls adore me, even the one's who never saw me. The reason why? Man, I don't know.

Double Bonus: Yesterday I actually wrote up a fantasy that excites me - I often imagine it, as in 'what if...?' You can read it here. And here is a song that explains my Bonus answer above (if you haven't already figured it out).


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 12, 2018

#MasturbationMonday - A Shocking Development

I got the shock of my life when I came home at lunchtime to get my mobile phone. I’d gone to work without it and by 9am it felt like a limb had been removed. So I told my wife I was coming home to get it. Unless she wanted to come in to the office and drop it off for me, pretty please?

‘No can do’ she said curtly, ‘I have something planned, and I’m not your slave...’

‘More’s the pity’ I muttered, before hanging up.

I dashed home and immediately bolted up the stairs to grab my phone from the bedside table, leaving the front door wide open. The gate had closed behind me and I was only going to be a minute - I had to get back on the train and back into the city by 1pm, which was totally doable.

Or maybe not.

When I got to the bedroom I found my wife buck naked, and bent over the bed.

“What the fuck?!” I blurted out, flabbergasted.  What the fuck was going on indeed?

“Surprise!” she laughed, “I figured you’d be in a hurry so I got ready for you”

“What? What’s going on?”  I stammered.

I wasn’t stupid, I could see what was going on, I just couldn’t fathom it. Never once in our entire marriage had she acted like this. What had brought this on?

“Don’t think, just fuck” she said, wiggling her bottom at me. “Hurry, there isn’t much time, just drop your pants and shove that big hard cock inside me. I’m wet as fuck already so do it...”

She shook her ass again, more urgently this time, as if to confirm she was serious. Deadly serious.

“You’re wet? Why? What have you been doing? And what about me? No foreplay? You can’t just expect to me to flop it out on demand and fuck you...” I was so taken aback I was babbling.

"You look ready to me..." she sniggered, looking down at my crotch.

As my eyes involuntarily followed her gaze I realised I was already hard. Rock hard. My body was moving faster than my brain, which was still in handbrake mode. My wife was naked in front of me, begging to be fucked, and I was asking why? Why?

I dropped my trousers and pulled down my briefs, making my turgid prick spring out like the eager beaver it was. As I stepped forward towards the bed my wife rose up higher, on all fours, and assumed the doggy position on the edge of the mattress. I grabbed her hips and slid my dick inside her wet slit effortlessly. She was wet alright, absolutely sodden in fact, and yet her velvet sheath felt tight around my throbbing cock.

I started with long slow steady strokes, a gentle but continuous thrusting. I looked down and savored the sight of my cock slicing in and out of her wet hole, becoming mesmerized and conflating the image with a porno we'd never made. How those guys can hold a camera and stay hard while fucking their wives I'll never know - not until my wife lets me film us, at least. Maybe I should ask her now, I wondered, seeing as she was behaving in such a thoroughly wanton slutty manner?

As my mind wandered so did my gaze, and I spied my nemesis on her nightstand. Her iPad mini and a vibrator! Now I knew why she was so wet - she was up to her old tricks again - Kindleporn and Mr Rabbit! If her cunt didn't feel so good wrapped around my cock I might have got angry and stopped - but I couldn't stop myself now if I tried. So I smacked her ass instead, loud and hard.

She barely flinched.

"Mmmmmm, yesss" she purred, "I've been reading my dirty stories this morning, ALL morning, and edging myself with Mr Rabbit" she explained, almost as if she'd read my mind. I felt her fingertips brush my shaft briefly as she urgently sought out her clit.

"If you hadn't come in when you did I might not have been able to hold back any longer, I might have come myself..." she continued.

She was diddling herself furiously now, her fingers moving fast beneath me. I was moving fast now too, my balls bouncing and beginning to smash against her. I gripped her hips tighter and started banging her harder and faster.

"Oh yeah, thats g-ood!" she grunted, through gritted teeth. Dropping down onto her forearms her ass tilted up higher and she began to push back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. "You came at just the right time, I'd been edging for 20 minutes before you walked in, I knew you were coming, but, if you'd come any later, you might, have, heard me, having, a screaming orgasm..."

Her sentences were broken now, coming in breathless snippets, as she spat out the words in time with the royal pounding I was giving her. She threw her head up and arched her back as she thrust her ass back and forth in short sharp strokes along my dick. I thought she was about to come but instead she dropped her head down again and started slapping her pussy with her cupped hand.

Propped up on one crooked arm she continued with her story...

"I do this every Monday" she confessed. "Masturbation Monday has become a ritual for me. After you go to work, I go back to bed, r-reading stories, dirty stories, dirty stories about, dirty girls. For an hour. Then. Mr Rabbit. For an hour. Just teasing. No more. then more. thenIgo. goforit. fuckmyself. fuckmydirtyhole. fuckmydirtyholewithMrRabbitandallmyfingerzzzz... AHHHHHH!!!"

She came without warning. Well, no warning for me. She certainly knew what was coming. She was slapping her clit like it had run away from home - she punished it mercilessly. Her climax was long and intense and as she spasmed around me I came too. I thrust forward and held still, arching my back and making my neck and spine crack as the wave of pleasure flooded both through and all over me.

I flooded her too, with my jizz, as she pumped my balls with her fingers, milking me with her one free hand.

Finally done we collapsed onto the bed, groaning.

"You do this every Monday?" I said, finally.

"Yup!" she replied, grinning unabashed.

"Hmmmm," I said, pausing. "I might have to leave my phone at home every Monday then...."


This work of fiction has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Thursday, November 8, 2018

#ICYMI - #TYT Replay: Weekend Sex Part 2

Today's post forThrowback Thursday is an excerpt from one originally posted on May 4, 2016. You can read the full story here.

Maybe she read my mind because she stopped talking and reached into her nightstand to grab the lube. She lathered it over both my cock and her pussy and we were good to go. I mounted her missionary style and ground my pubic bone into her clit on the upstroke, since she had seemed to enjoy the pressure when we had done something similar (but completely different) the night before. She started moaning and writhing below me, squeezing her own breasts as she did so. 
It was hot. I concentrated hard on making her cum and stopping myself from doing the same. 
I lifted her legs and started pounding into her hard, as she grabbed her vulva and pressed firmly against her clit. Her other hand was squeezing one of her tits for all it was worth and I could tell she was very close. I continued pumping her and she grunted that she was cumming and begged me to cum too. 
"Cum with me, fill me up, shoot it all inside me, I want it all inside me" she grunted. 
Yup, she was reading dirty stories with dirty talk alright - and saying all the right words now! 
I loved it but I wasn't ready to cum so I flipped her around onto all fours and did her doggy style. There was almost no break so she was almost immediately ramped back to a second orgasm as I grabbed her hips and thrust deeply. Again she moaned like she was about to cum, dropping her head and mewing into the mattress. With her free hand she started slapping her cunt and began grunting again. My balls were slapping her pussy too now, fighting with her fingers for access to her clit. 
She found a rhythm, stroking my balls and her clit at the same as I rode her hard. 
"Uh-nghhhh" she grunted, "I'm cummmm-innng!" 
And she did, hissing through gritted teeth as she squeezed out a second orgasm. I held still as she pulsed around my dick, before releasing her and letting her fall forward onto the mattress. Looking at her ass as she slumped on the bed I started jacking my cock again, in long slow strokes. I decided I wanted to jerk off and spray my hot jism down her ass crack, as we'd done many times before. I pulled her up again into the doggy position, and placed my cock at the entrance to her back door...

the story continues here...

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

#WickedWednesday ~ Anyone know where the line in Social Media is drawn?

On Monday I posted 'Say No to Twitterporn?' in response to a comment from someone I follow on Twitter. She suggested Twitter was not the place to post pornographic images, which surprised me given how much porn I see on my Twitter feed. You can see my full response here.

Strangely enough I then found today's post buried deep in my 'drafts' folder, titled 'Anyone know where the line in Social Media is drawn?' It was just the title and the images above, with no text.

Clearly a similar thought had occurred to me, as had the woman from Monday. There is indeed a lot of porn posted on our social media and yet the rules on how or if it is displayed are inconsistent. Both of the images above were posted on my Tumblr account but only the one on the left was flagged as 'sensitive' by Tumblr. Which image do you think would be more harmful to minors seeing it on their feed?

I have chosen to mark my Tumblr account as 'adult content' (as I have on this Blogger account) and I use the NSFW tags to stop people who don't want to see that content from seeing my posts. But the reality is that young teens have their own secret social media accounts that their parents don't know about and I'm pretty sure they don't self select the option not to see adult/NSFW content. Which means any screening or 'Parental Controls' you may have applied to your kids accounts are moot.

Which leads to the obvious question: should we moderate our sex blogs because kids might access it? I say 'No' so I shall carry on regardless, albeit tut tutting about some of the stuff I see online. You know, the really hardcore images, the ones kids definitely shouldn't be seeing online. Those are the things that something needs to be done about, not my stuff, says Nero possibly a little hypocritically.

I'm not alone in thinking that there should be a social media platform online that is specifically 'Adult orientated'. One where we can post our own porn and erotic thoughts online without fear of having our accounts frozen for a week, or banned outright, because we've offended some wowser who has drawn a morality line higher that the one we draw for ourselves.

A few have tried but inevitably they fail to meet the reach of the most popular platforms, who themselves are keen to have the most users (all that data!) and therefore do their best to remove content that may offend someone. And since there is a high level of latent exhibitionism in sharing all those 'Look at me, I'm a Wanton Sex God/Goddess' posts, tweets, and tumbles we tend to stick with the platforms that have the most people supporting them.

Let's face it, we might all want an R18 version of Facebook* where we could post explicit content and chat naughtily amongst ourselves - but we know in reality it would be overrun within a month by bots with fake profiles posting images of underage girls and trying to lure us to their pornsites on the dark web.

Because that's what an uncensored unregulated internet would look like.


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ November 6, 2018 - "I told you so!"

A new month, a new week, a new TMI Tuesday!

Image Source ©
1. Do you go out of your way to be nice?
~ Only to the elderly and the disabled. And kids. The rest of you are grown ups and need to earn it. Which shouldn't be mistaken as suggesting I'm rude or mean. First impressions count so I'll always make an effort.

2. Some time ago people were buried with items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?
~ I can't imagine a single thing I'd want in the or need in the afterlife that I won't already have waiting for me when I get there. I presume I'll get 72 Virgins and have a slightly larger dick, right? By which I mean a magic penis - one that is the perfect, most sexually fulfilling size for whichever woman receives it.

3. What social stigma does society need to get over?
~ Wow, this is such a broad question it's hard to answer. We need to get over them all, and whilst progress is being made in some countries and cultures it is failing in others. Homosexuality is the obvious one but I suspect poverty is going to be the worst in the near future. With the increasing gap between rich and poor in Western society the poor will be stigmatized so that their position in society is marginalized. The aim of course is to validate the belief that they 'brought it on themselves' and therefor they do not deserve help. 

Conversely we're also seeing a rise in the stigmatization of 'baby boomers' ie people over 50. We're told 'they had it easy/good' and that they have been advantaged financially at the expense of todays young people and the struggling middle class. If you can't buy a house, or get a job to pay of your massive student loan, it's because the Boomers scooped up all the wealth and pulled the ladder out behind them. 

Image Source ©
4. When was the last time you told someone “I told you so”?
~ Me. Usually when I make a lapse in judgement and allow myself to think my wife wants to have sex with me.  The last time it happened was on Saturday night. We watched to two RomCom's on Netflix and then afterwards my wife leaned over on top of me and started kissing me. When I hugged and kissed her back she jumped up and said she had yoga in the morning and had to go to sleep. And off she went.

5. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? What did you find?
~ Ha! Regular readers will know I do this a lot. I've never (yet) found anything I wish I hadn't, my snooping merely confirms what my gut already knew to be true. The things I find are what she's been searching (and buying) for her Kindleporn addiction, and what plans she's making with her friends. These are made well in advance but my wife only tells me a few days ahead - as if it was a last minute thing. Last Thursday night she invited me to something on Friday, which of course I couldn't do because someone had to take care of our dog and our daughter - both of whom are running a bit feral lately. My wife also has a few 'business' trips planned for the next three months (some out of state, some out of the country) that she hasn't mentioned yet. She normally gives me advance warning a week or so ahead, together with 'I thought I told you?'.

Bonus: What small seemingly insignificant thing did your parents or someone else say when you were a child that has stuck with you all this time?
~ Um... er... nothing sticks out? I kinda developed my own moral compass when I was 13 and moved forward from there. My guiding mantra (applied to sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll) was always "Who's in control?" - by which I mean from an early age I made sure I was the one spinning my own wheels ie I was not being led by others. (And no, I don't have a god complex)

Double Bonus: If you want to know more about 'Social Stigma' I found this an interesting read.  If you want to know more about 'The Last Time Nero Had Sex' read this, and if you want to know more about 'Shadow Banning (on Social Media)' read this.

Triple Bonus: and just to remind you this is still a sex blog AND that today is the last day to vote in the US midterm elections (oh so important if you're a US citizen unhappy with Trump) here's a bonus pic:

Street art in Melbourne, Australia 


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 5, 2018

#MasturbationMonday - Say No to TwitterPorn?

So someone I follow on Twitter posted this today and of course I couldn't respond because that would only draw attention to my Twitter account which ~ahem~ might occasionally include 'artistic nudes'. 

Full disclosure: most of the images I post on my Tumblr are more pornographic than artistic so when they cross post to Twitter (I use an app that does it automatically) then the person above is likely to be offended. The strange thing is, some images coming via Tumblr don't transfer (so you just get the text and a link) but others do. Thus far I haven't been able to figure out why some do and some don't but it's never really mattered much - until now. 

image by May More ©
On Saturday I did my #SoSS post (Share Our Shit Saturday) and it included this image (left) by May More ....

As luck would have it (bad luck) the image did cross post to Twitter, via my Tumblr account and {surprise surprise!} the image was enough to get both myself and May More (who retweeted my tweet) shadow banned by Twitter.

If you don't know what Shadow Banning is then check out May's explanation of it here. Bizzarely Twitter continue to insist they don't shadow ban anyone -- but their explanation is pure Trumpspeak: 
"We do not shadow ban," Twitter said in a blog post. "You are always able to see the tweets from accounts you follow (although you may have to do more work to find them, like go directly to their profile)." ~ Source
Sure, so they don't 'shadow ban' -- they just make it so your tweets aren't seen by anyone unless they specifically go to your Twitter page and look for it. Because that's how everyone uses Twitter, right? Oh, but wait a minute - when you go to my Twitter page you see this:

 And that's what I see too - on my own Twitter page on my own computer. Crazy!

What I find weirdest of all is that my Twitter feed is CHOCK FULL of images a million times 'worse' than the photo of May's breasts.  Some people I follow on Twitter will post photos of themselves with exposed vagina's and others will post videos of themselves having sex. With penises. Or sundry substitutes. They're all explicit images and they all cascade down my Twitter feed constantly, like a waterfall. I certainly am not going to their profile to see it, it's offered up to me by Twitter.

So why are they not shadow banned?

I can't answer that, but I can answer the original poster above who feels that Twitter is not the place for porn: yes, it is. Why? because Twitter is just another form of technology, and besides the horse has bolted, the cat is out of the bag, that ship has sailed. Which isn't to say that I don't agree that she shouldn't be assailed by porn on Twitter. If she doesn't want to see it she shouldn't have to, and maybe Twitter could do more to ensure she doesn't. 

On both Blogger and Tumblr you can mark your own account as 'Adult content' so that people who don't want to see that stuff don't. On Tumblr if you use hashtags like #NSFW (not safe for work) then people who don't want to see that content won't see your post (and #pussy will usually guarantee your post is marked as 'sensitive content'). Which is how it should be. 

I use Twitter to keep in contact with fellow sex bloggers and also for it's pornographic content. Every time I see a porn clip on my feed that interests me I send it to myself via DM. Then whenever I feel the need for a little 'self love' (see? this is why I'm posting this on Masturbation Monday - there is a link!) I just go to my Twitter mailbox to see what dirty nasty little porn clips my good friend Nero has sent me.

I say 'little' because the maximum clip length seems to be 2'20 (although occasionally someone posts a compressed 6 minute clip) but usually I only need to watch a few before I'm ready to pop. Which is the whole point (for anyone judging me)! Actually, truth be told those Twitter clips are more like foreplay because after a couple of them I usually switch to YouPorn and watch a longer clip. Watching 2 minute clips (and then having to close and open each new clip) is really only good for edging.

But I'm rambling now, so I'll leave you with one final observation/warning which I would have said on the original poster's tweet above, were I not scared she would block me:

If you do look at the photos and videos of the people who post Twitterporn then the Twitter algorithm recognizes that and very quickly you will find the only stuff appearing on your feed is Twitterporn. Which you can't help clicking on because you're a red blooded male - and the cycle continues. Suddenly that's all you see on Twitter.

Which makes the issue of 'shadow banning' so much more confusing. 'Real' people like May get shadow banned for flashing their boobs, and yet pornstars continue to get a free pass on posting teaser excerpts from their latest clip on Brazzers or PornHub...  


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!