Sunday, July 15, 2018

OPP: Dr Lexi - The Party

I have discovered Alexis McCall's sex blog. I've only just started going through her posts from the beginning but I find her compelling reading. Once I've finished one post I start another - I can't stop. I still can't decide if it's real or not (and I don't mean that she's not a real doctor, she admits that herself, its just a moniker). Is it all true or just an amazing tale? Whatever, I'm enjoying the read - so much so that I want to give you just a few excerpts as I work my way through it all.

Just to give you a taste of her journey I'll compile some excerpts by category - this one is 'Interracial', a genre my wife enjoys reading. This story struck me so much I've excerpted all three parts - if this doesn't get you reading her blog I don't know what will! To see Lexi's complete journey click here.


The Party
July 15, 2015

It has taken me several days to write this post because I’m still not sure what to think about it. I wish this was a happier hotwife BBC (Big Black Cock) experience but I’m not sure if that is how I really feel. I’m not sure it isn’t though either. I really don’t know what it is.

Something happened to me that was not right in my mind. I didn’t realize that until Jill and I began comparing notes on Monday when we both realized our notes were full of holes.

I am not saying we were drugged. We probably weren’t, but I’m not sure of that either. What I am sure of is that part of my afternoon is missing. I am not saying that I don’t know what I did, but I am saying what I did is not clear in my mind like it normally is.

Yes, Jill and I were probably already drunk when we showed up to the party. With me it was nerves. I knew why I was there and why Michael wanted me there. I was there for a BBC experience with a man I met at the party on Friday night that made no excuses for why he was having the party on Sunday afternoon.

I’m not going to try and convince anyone I haven’t done stupid shit in my life, but I am telling you Sunday afternoon was a different experience.

When we arrived, there was a uniformed valet that took my car which led Jill and I to believe the party was much larger than it was. We were greeted at the door by our host who was trailed by a uniformed server who had two frozen drinks on his tray that looked like a blueberry daiquiri. Our host was drinking one and he proposed a toast to “women who enjoy the exploration of their bodies by men who want to unlock their secret passions.” I remember that clearly.

Who wouldn’t drink to that toast? That’s why Jill and I were there. Twenty minutes later I didn’t remember where I was for sure but wherever I was it didn’t matter. I didn’t care. Everything was right in Lexi’s world. I was on a sun pad on my back naked. I was watching Jill have sex with two men on a different sun pad. I think it was a different sun pad anyway. I’m not sure.

I only remember a couple of things about the man that was standing over her with his body plugged into her. He was wearing a huge gold necklace, diamond stud earrings and a gold Rolex watch. Jill was making a lot of noise. Seriously!

I wasn’t focused on what Jill was doing though, I was having weird thoughts about her shoes. She was wearing white squared heeled patent leather pumps and the heels were pointed up at the ceiling. I remember wondering who made that shoe, how much she paid for them and what size they were. Shoe size is not a conversation Jill and I have ever had so I was curious about that.

What is even stranger is that while I was wondering about her shoes our host was doing oral sex to me.

A millisecond later I had a huge black snake invade my body like never before, and that was that. I lost control of my body’s ability to think, to respond, and even breathe. I became nothing more than an extension of his body for what seemed like an eternity. I became his vessel. I have no idea how many men had sex with me at that party or how many times. My body probably knows but my mind doesn’t. It was a lot though. I am sure about that! I was in an emotional place I have never been, experiencing sex in a way I never have.

There was something else going on though. My thinking was fucked up and I still don’t know if it was a combination of alcohol and emotional stimulus that was experiencing maximum overload, or if we were drugged. Sex was pretty continuous. It just went on and on. First outside by the pool on a sun pad at the same time as Jill, then in a bedroom with African motif, then in a different bedroom with paintings of lions and tigers and sculptures of stuff. I didn’t know what it was and specifically remember thinking that I really didn’t give a shit.

That is not like me to have thoughts like that. There was nothing wrong with my motor skills but at times, I wondered if this was really me. I could walk fine even wearing stiletto heeled shoes walking from bedroom to bedroom and back out to the lanai then back to a bedroom with someone else.

It was the first time in my life I have ever been in the same place as other women having sex at the same time. When I wasn’t having sex I was sitting in a chaise drinking vodka and watching two blondes in the pool have sex with several men. 
I didn’t give a shit about any of it. I was just there. My body belonged to whichever man was penetrating me at the time.

Eventually Jill came and got me and told me it was time to go. We found our clothes got dressed and left. It was dark but I remember not giving a shit what time it was.

Jill and I had a somewhat meaningless conversation on the short drive back to my house once I convinced her I was ok to drive. I told her I was tired and wanted to go to bed and didn’t feel like talking and that was that. I told her I would call her in the morning and when I did, that is when she suggested to me may that we may have been drugged.

Monday morning Jill and I began to compare notes and we both realized there was a lot of missing detail. She suggested we may have been drugged, but I felt OK and she felt OK.

I thought that when women were given date rape drugs they could barely move. She said no, but she’s never been drugged before and neither have I. I guess in some ways I have led a sheltered life. She asked me how many women were there. I said three blonde and a redhead. She said there was a woman we never saw pulling the train in one of the bedrooms. I never saw any of that, or at least don’t remember seeing any of it

She asked me how many men were there. I had no idea. I guessed ten. She said there were a lot more than that but she didn’t know either because a lot of them were coming and going from one bedroom. That is why there was confusion about how many men were there. The train puller evidently had an audience. She asked me how many men had sex with me. That was a jackpot question and I didn’t know the answer but had been trying my best to figure it out.

The best I could remember for sure was Jim, out on the lanai, my first. Then there were two men with me in the bigger bedroom, and then two men with me in the smaller bedroom later. I am aware that I had sex with all of them

She shook her head. She told me that we both had sex with two men out on the sun pad before we were taken to separate bedrooms.

She said later we were sitting next to each other out by the pool. I told her I remembered me being there but not her. She said I asked about her shoes. I remembered thinking about her shoes while she was fucking, but I don’t remember talking to her.

“Was there a cock in me when I asked about your shoes?”

“No, we were drinking vodka.” Jill said.

By then I was pretty convinced that there was something in the blue drink we had when we first got there and that seriously pisses me off. I told Jill she was probably right and asked her what we should do about it.

“There is nothing we can do Alexis. We can’t prove one thing. We weren’t raped. It was a sex party. We knew that. It was consensual sex. We weren’t harmed. Maybe it was just supposed to calm us down. I don’t know, and don’t know how to find out.”

I thought about that. She was right. I didn’t know either.

“What are you going to tell Michael?”
See the entire blog here © Alexis McCall

Saturday, July 14, 2018

OPP: #SoSS - Saturday July 14 @PosyChurchgate @More_Matters

Image from May More © Oral Sex - My Journey To Enjoyment
Warning: this and other images in her post may induce arousal*

The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

Mookie Spitz
 ~  "The Story of My Sexless Marriage"

Mookie has written a post that I was sorely tempted to excerpt in full (but I haven't). It's almost like he's describing my life at times. Almost but not quite - my wife is nowhere as bad as his!  I think he got a pretty raw deal, but he tells it in a humorous way: 
I knew my wife would never have sex with me. We’d play the same predictable game each week: me asking, her rejecting. Having a headache couldn’t work forever, so her denials became increasingly creative and conditional, leading to a series of excuses progressively more obnoxious and absurd.

At first she refused to make love because our apartment was too messy. After I finally managed to clean up, my wife’s next excuse was the bed. Was it too small? No. Was it too big? No. Was it too soft, too hard, too high, too low? No, no, no, no — then what, for chrissakes? She couldn’t or wouldn’t say. She simply didn’t like the bed. So we bought a new one. Was it any different? I couldn’t tell. Neither could she, apparently, because she still wouldn’t put out.

The switch perked her up, but the happier she got, the less inclined she remained. I had done everything she’d asked no matter how ridiculous, and her excuses were running out. Amazing how otherwise unimaginative people instantly become creative to avoid doing what they don’t like, necessity indeed the mother of invention, or in this case the engine of marital misery.

So she cunningly shifted from domesticity to biology, terrified of getting pregnant again. Birth control pills upset her, condoms could break, other planning methods proved too risky. Our only solution was to indefinitely forgo sexual intercourse. Maybe we could have sex again after the kids went to college, she explained, when she became menopausal, and I finally gave up.

Before you dismiss me as another sexist male, Neanderthal chauvinist, or pre-#MeToo asshole, allow me to assert that back in the day I tried: Flowers, date nights, candlelit dinners, breakfasts in bed, home improvement projects, investment plans, shopping sprees, Louis Vuitton bags, kid sitting weekends. Was I an awesome husband? No. Was I an abusive prick? Not by any stretch
... [much more]

Posy Churchgate ~ Under My Thumb

I've shared Posy's stuff here on #SoSS a few times, so no introduction should be necessary. Her blog is always great so check it out. I chose this post because she comes close to describing what I think is why my wife won't let me act out the dark fantasies I know she has (based on her erotic reading). Also she's recommended a few blogs and since I'm still on vacation that doesn't hurt either, does it? :
I test drive all my sex toys solo - I choose them myself and I try them out when I’m alone. If I like them and feel that my OH can be trusted with them, then I introduce him to the toys and how to use them.  (He almost always says “O my good gawd!” before rising to the occasion and indulging me - although I often suspect he feels intimidated by them!) There! - that was another giveaway! I said if I ‘feel he can be trusted with them’. Analysis of that is : I don’t want to put him in charge of my pain! Perhaps this means I’m not confident he will pick up on the signals that something hurts too much or feels overwhelming, resulting in me not only feeling the opposite of sexy, but also feeling very angry with him. 
Dom/Domme Blogs I enjoy reading:http://carasutra.com/https://jerusalemmortimer.com/http://painaspleasure.com/https://flossdoeslife.com/

Submissive / Poly Life Blogs I enjoy reading:http://submissiveheart.co.uk/https://melodyinsights.com/https://submissy.com/https://kaylalords.com/2015/08/loving-bdsm-a-podcast-is-born/http://victoriablisse.co.uk/  [much more]

May More ~ If Sex Matters - "Nudity, Shadows, and Copyright"

May is another blogger who needs ni introduction. I was going to use this post as reference for one of my own on the same subject but unfortunately I ran out of time before heading out on a long vacation. I have some responses of my own I want to make, but for now I'll just give you an excerpt of May's post:

A law that would mean people in the UK would have to prove they are 18 before being allowed to access pornography websites, has thankfully been postponed. (Let’s just remember that in the UK you can legally have sex at 16 – but apparently not watch it!). 
Such a piece of legislation would cause all kinds of complications. If verification requires the person to enter bank card details this will inevitably open the door to problems such as fraud. Not to mention the cost to sites in implementing the necessary software. Now, however, we are being threatened with another law from the EU that will open the door to mass internet censorship – taking us away from the open world wide web we have all enjoyed for the last 20 years. 'Article 13' wishes to enforce strict rules on copyright. Anything that may technically be seen as a breach of copyright – such as memes, and other types of user-generated content – would all be at risk. It is also possible a “tax” on links may be enforced.
Another thing to consider is that by putting the necessary code in place to abide by these rules, everything we post will be spied upon – so a decision can be made as to whether it should be censored or not. 
A further problem with Article 13 is that it makes no exceptions for fair use (a legal concept that allows the reproduction of copyrighted material for certain purposes without obtaining permission) – a foundation of the internet.

It’s a very sad state of affairs that we are not left to use our own critical thinking skills to choose what we wish to view. I am more than capable of working this out without the need for default filters and blocks, to protect me and my family. I don’t need to be told what is good for us. As a capable individual, I can... [much more]

Friday, July 13, 2018

#BlackFriday - Nicki Minaj can knock on my door anytime she likes! 🔥

via Instagram 

@nickiminaj can knock on my door anytime she likes! 🔥 
#FetishFriday or #SinfulSunday - I don't care!
I'm not sure why she’d want to - but dreams are free 😜 

#babe #booty🍑 #stockings #corset #strongandsexy #nickiminaj #SinfulSunday #FetishFriday

Thursday, July 12, 2018

#TBT - A Big Black Cock For Saturday Night (Redux)

This is a re-edit of a post originally published on Saturday, January 25, 2014.

She was curled up on the sofa, with her iPad, and I knew she was reading porn erotica.  I knelt down in front of her and lifted her skirt.

"What are you doing?" she asked, surprised. 
"I'm going to eat your pussy" I replied, as I pulled at her panties. 

She protested, but at the same time lifted her hips so I could pull her knickers off completely. I flicked her skirt up over her hips and ran my hands along her inner thighs, pushing them apart gently. I spread her legs as she put her iPad down and settled back, making herself comfy.

"No, that's okay" I said, as I handed her back her iPad "you can keep reading while I lick you".

Lately (2018) my Twitter feed has been full of BBC clips.
By god, they're enormous - bigger than this guy - and
usually they have some petite blond white girl speared!
It was like giving candy to a five year old - a big grin burst across her face as she opened her iPad and went back to her story. I lowered my head and started kissing and nibbling her pussy. She smelled great and tasted even better. She had one hand on my head and the other held her iPad, as I went to town downtown. I knew she was enjoying it immensely because she started moaning and grinding her cunt against my face, rolling her pussy to ensure my tongue found the sweet spot.

I was also enjoying it, but still managed to laugh (inside) as I felt her hand move from my head, to scroll/swipe down a page on her iPad, and then move back to my head to push me deeper and harder into her sopping wet pussy - before lifting it from my head to change to a new page on her iPad. She was definitely reading her dirty stories as I tongue fucked her clit!

Very quickly she was cumming, dropping her iPad and using both hands to hold my head as she bucked and rolled against my face. Her back arched steeply, before slumping back into the sofa.

"My turn now" I winked, as I stood up, dropped my pants, and settled down beside her on the sofa. I took her iPad from her and opened a new browser tab, typing in 'YouPorn'. As I waited for it to open I switched our TV to the Apple TV input (this streams what's on your iPad onto the TV). It had long been a fantasy of mine (expressed elsewhere on this blog previously) to have my wife kneel before me and suck my cock while I watched porn.

But even though my wife has no problem reading porn, she's not so comfortable watching it - or, more correctly - me watching it. So I figured the smart thing was to pick something she might like (duh) - so I typed 'black cock' into the search box (since I knew those were the type of stories she'd been reading on Literotica). Within seconds we were watching a handsome young African American with a long thick cock banging a buxom brunette who was clearly loving it. My wife was smiling as she stared intently at the screen, and she started rubbing her pussy as the action unfolded.

"Are you going to blow me?" I asked with a wink, foolishly thinking she might reciprocate the oral I'd just performed on her. 

"Nah, you do it" she said, placing my hand on my own cock "make it nice 'n hard for me".

Oh...   Okay...   Alrighty then...

I could see someone was feeling a little selfish tonight. That kinda killed the mood for me, but we watched two more clips - both of which weren't as good as the first one. That's the problem with YouPorn - the viewer ratings system is completely corrupt and even crap vids have 90% approval scores. I put on a fourth (and final) clip and told her to mount me as I sat on the sofa, watching the porn.

She impaled herself on me, in the reverse position so she could keep watching the screen, but in the process blocking me from seeing anything! My fantasy had turned to farce but -hey!- she was riding my dick and it felt good. She was wet from her previous orgasm but tight as fuck, tighter than normal, and she bounced up and down on my stiff cock as she fingered her clit - staring at the Big Black Cock on the screen.

I probably came within 3 minutes of her riding me (she was that tight, and my balls were that blue). It was a super intense orgasm for me. As soon as I came she hopped off, gave me a kiss, and…

…went back to her iPad!

WTF!

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

OPP: A Fantasy to End All Fantasies

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous (scroll to bottom for more info)
(FYI: most of the links in this post are dead)


Pervertically Virtuous posted: "I have a special post for you today. It's from Ace, my husband. Three months ago, he wrote his first post for my blog, Cogito Ergo Sum (or Coming Out as Open); this is his second. A Fantasy to End All Fantasies I'm 44, and have been lucky enough to have e"

recovered post by Pervertically Virtuous

A Fantasy to End All Fantasies

by Pervertically Virtuous
I have a special post for you today. It's from Ace, my husband. Three months ago, he wrote his first post for my blog, Cogito Ergo Sum (or Coming Out as Open); this is his second.

A Fantasy to End All Fantasies

I'm 44, and have been lucky enough to have experienced about all of the sexual fantasies that I've I have had in my head at one time or another. Sometimes they live up to expectations, sometimes they don't. I guess that's part of the excitement of experimenting, you just don't know what the result will be. But recently one fantasy has popped up that I KNOW would exceed all expectations I could possibly have about it: 'To Fuck My Wife (The PVS) As A 17 Year Old'. Not her, mind you, ME. I'm 17 and she's exactly how old she is right now, 31.
(Photo added in 2016 by Nero)
When I was 13, I remember thinking to myself, if I ever found a woman who liked giving blow jobs, I would marry her. This is not entirely relevant to the story but it shows how much, even at a very early age, I valued a woman who liked sex. In high school, hearing what I've now learned to be slut shaming, I was always confused that guys would think it was a bad thing that a girl had a reputation of liking sex. Personally, being a 17 year old boy with hormones raging, the thing I was most looking for WAS a slut.
I was actually looking for older sluts, to be exact, as 20's and 30's was the sweet spot for me back then. Something about women at that age was incredibly erotic. This was before the internet so my masturbation fantasies came from magazines, and I was always drawn to the slightly older, very sexually charged women. Little school girl outfits and girls with lollypops in lingerie totally didn't do it for me. Show me the 27 year-old in fuck me pumps, tattoos, the leather mini skirt and I was in heaven. Reading the erotic letters section about how 'she' loved it in the ass and wanted to swallow cum, was how I spent many a night before falling asleep.
Of course my reality was never quite what I wanted it to be; in fact, it was nowhere close. I did 'date' older women, as well as women my own age, but the sex was confused, embarrassing to some degree, and never of the raunchy, pornographic nature that I desired (give me a break, I was 17). Not that I'm complaining; being a teenager, I was just happy to have a woman touching my cock, I assure you. It's just that I was unable to find a woman who really embraced her sexuality, owned it, desired it enough to allow herself to be completely thought of as a sexual being, with no inhibitions (that does not mean no boundaries). I wanted to be with someone who oozed sex, who wore clothes that said 'I LIKE TO FUCK', who walked and talked the language of sex, who visually fulfilled all that I desired in a 'slutty' woman. Someone like The PVS. This, unfortunately, was not so easy to find as an awkward 17-year-old boy.
So that was me at 17; today at 44, I'm married to The PVS.
We were heading out for the evening a few weeks ago, and The PVS was walking around our apartment in high heels, hip-hugging pants that ended just below knee, and a skimpy leather top that revealed all her ink in good style. As I sat there, I just watched her sexy self slinking around our place, drinking her in, and enjoying just how desirable I found her.
Now the problem is, I'm in my mid-40's, and at this point in my life, I've had a reasonably high number of sexual experiences and partners, so the edge is gone from my sexual angst and energy. I deeply enjoy sex with The PVS, love it actually, but not like I would have at 17.
It was at this moment that I came up with my latest sexual fantasy....to be with her as my 17 year old self. It would probably make my head explode.
The PVS is the kind of woman who, when dressed in her sexually evocative way, I would have seen walking down the street, and have gotten sick to my stomach with how aroused she made me, how badly I desired her, and how completely distraught I was that I was not about to immediately have her. There were times, at that age, that I could have cum on the spot seeing a woman like this. Most likely I would have found the first available private spot to relieve myself. So I want to be that boy again, and get to experience this particularly perfect woman for my young desires. I truly believe it would be more than my brain could handle.
I'd meet her in Central Park on my way to Sheep's Meadow, where she'd be sitting on a bench reading something. I would have noticed her from far away probably as I would any sexually provocative woman I'd see. As I walk by her, she gives me a mischievous grin, and goes back to her book. I get about 20 paces away from her before I dare myself to go back and talk to her. Feigning complete confidence, which I was really a master at, I sit down next to her and say hi. We begin talking, and flirt for a good long while, before she has to leave but I ask for her number, and call her later that week. For the rest of the afternoon, she is all I can think of while I'm hanging out with my friends. That night she is the subject of several of my fantasies and continues to be for the next few days.
That weekend we meet at a cafe and end up spending the whole afternoon together. Lunch turns to dinner and the discussion has turned very sexual as she describes her life and how she believes a woman should have as much sex as she wants. She doesn't believe in monogamy which leaves me thinking..."There are women who do that?!". I'm so completely aroused by this woman in the way she looks and the way she talks, that my body is aching for her in every way. I'm 17, she's 31, and appears to me, in all seriousness, as the sex goddess of NYC. As we finish dinner, she invites me to come home with her and my head is spinning from the possibilities. This is the moment I have been waiting for since I started understanding what sex is.
For the rest of the evening my life becomes the personal porno that has been playing out in my head for the last few years. I loose count of how many times I've cum (its good to be 17 again, eh?). I have anal sex for the first time, something I never thought real women actually did. I am completely, and utterly, in every way possible, overcome with pleasure and satisfaction. To get to experience that kind of arousal, as someone who has only imagined it, but had been desiring it for about 4 or 5 years, is something that would be like nothing else. This is the kind of experience I'm looking for with her, as I believe she is exactly the type of woman I had been looking for back then (apparently now too).
Unfortunately, I do not believe this fantasy will be possible to live out, and my 44-year-old self will just have to settle for trying to imagine what that would have been like. I have a very active imagination, so perhaps I can get back to that space in my head in order to live this out. Maybe hypnosis is an option?  Hmmmm.....
Related posts:
Cogito Ergo Sum
My Open Relationship Rules
Looking for someone to make your fantasies come true? Try Adult FriendFinder.
Pervertically Virtuous | July 11, 2013 at 10:52 am | Tags: Ace, fantasy, sex, slut | Categories: My Relationships, The Husband |
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of P.V.'s. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it.
~ NERO

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

#TMITuesday: July 10, 2018 ~ Here’s Looking at You!

Here’s looking at you. . .



1. What is the most marvelous thing you have ever seen?

- I’m currently cruising the Baltic and that’s impossible to answer right now! First time I’ve been up this way and it’s amazing. Stunning cathedrals and palaces in St Petersburg, Stockholm, Helsinki, and Coppenhagen. I wouldnt want to live there but the palaces (now museums) in St Petersburg (formerly Leningrad formerly St Petersburg) are jaw dropping.

2. Are you a starter or a finisher?

- I start more things than I finish, but I only don’t finish what I’ve started if I think its not worth finishing. I can be stubborn, but also I’m not foolish!

3. When did your heart last ‘skip a beat’? Why?

- That doesn’t happen to me, but... I will admit I was captivated by a young American girl (woman really, mid-twenties) on the ship the other night. We were all gathered in a large bar/club for the 80s disco and she was in a little blue slip dress and danced like hippy chick with rhythm. I figured she was either a dancer or an athlete because her bod was built just right.

4. What does your perfect day look like?

- It been sunshine every day on this cruise (except every morning it rained it St Petersburg - sunny n the afternoons) and that’s how I like my days to be: sunshine and wandering the streets of places I’ve never been before.

5. What would you call your autobiography?

- I just read a really great memoir on the boat which I’ll blog about later (God’s Call Girl) which did make me think about mine. It won’t be called ‘Nero Speaks’, but it will be something similar. Probably ‘The Madness & Sadness of King George’

Bonus: How does it feel to be photographed?

- Not so great at the moment since I’m overweight. Not as bad as the other people on this cruis ship mind you! OMG cruise ships are a definite warning as to a possible future if you dont look after yourself (or god forbid you get struck down by something)





Double Bonus: In case you missed it, one from the archives: My wife is a drunken slut!





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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!






Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, July 9, 2018

OPP: Is testosterone the answer to a woman's lost libido?

Last week I came to the realization that my relationship with my wife hasn't really changed in the past 5 years and that the problems bugging me back in 2013 are still bugging me now (read here). Then I read this story and now I think I'm a step closer to better understanding our 'problem'. I now think my wife's low libido is due to a lack of testosterone. She hasn't gone through menopause yet but I'm pretty sure she's close ie pre-menopausal.

As I've mentioned previously on my blog, my wife is scared of going through menopause because she never wants to get old (her actual words). In her mind menopause means she's officially old, so she buries her head in the sand and refuses to discuss it. I think that avoidance also explains why she won't discuss our sexual problems (which are only that her libido is low and she doesn't want to have sex with me - which is common for many couples our age).
This is the article I saw on Facebook - maybe it's just a puff piece from the HRT lobby...? 
Opinion is divided over the ability of testosterone treatments to help women regain their vitality and libido. If you google the subject there will be many that say HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is not the answer. Some even say it's dangerous. Other say that the cause of most women's flagging libido is an overweight or inattentive husband who doesn't seem to care so why should she? 

For her 45th birthday, Lisa (not her real name) received a trip to Hawaii and a sex toy that came with seven settings and three pages of instructions. That vibrating toy saw a lot of action. As did its new owner.

"I've always loved sex and sex has always loved me back," says Lisa  a university professor.

There are many women who swear that a daily dose of wine
is all that is required to kickstart the libido!
"I've been with my husband for 10 years but for most of my adult life having sex two or even three times a day has been pretty standard." 

And real swinging-from-the-chandeliers-type sex, she adds, in the kind of voice that indicates she's neither joking nor exaggerating.

But almost a year after Lisa's 45th birthday, the bright red sex toy was languishing at the back of her bedside drawer.

"One morning I woke up and cringed not only at the thought of sex but at my husband's touch, which once electrified me," says Lisa. "I'd gone from having an incredibly high sex drive to feeling as though I never wanted to have sex ever again."

The cause of Lisa's sexual indifference? The onset of menopause or, as Lisa describes it, a "downhill slide of sex drive and dried-up hormones".

"It was as though someone had draped a curtain over me, thick as fog and heavy as cement, which drained my life-force. My libido completely disappeared, along with my energy and an ability to concentrate. I also fell into a deep depression."

Lisa's doctor prescribed HRT, medication that replaces female hormones the body no longer makes after menopause. It helped with the night sweats, hot flushes, weight gain and lack of focus, but did little for her libido. The change deeply affected Lisa and her marriage.

"It wasn't just about not having sex, menopause robbed me of a sense of being a woman, almost like a whole part of my life had been shut off. As for my poor husband, he had no idea what was going on."

At the gym one day, Lisa overheard a woman talking about how testosterone, the so-called male hormone, had changed her life.

"This woman was going on about how HRT replaced vanishing estrogen and progesterone, but didn't really address the issue of testosterone, which drops for women in their 40s and 50s. She said doctors won't tell you about it, but one of testosterone's many benefits is it gives you back your sex drive and zest for life."

There was no mention of the possible side effects of testosterone supplementation, such as facial and body hair, acne, deepening of the voice and abnormal enlargement of the clitoris. Nor of possible hair loss, an increased risk of breast cancer and heart attack.

So Lisa visited her GP who referred her to an endocrinologist, who handed her a tube of testosterone and a bill for $400.

It was worth every cent, she says, because within three weeks of applying the gel to her inner thigh every night, Lisa had re-joined the pack.

"It's impossible to talk about it without sounding evangelical, but that little tube gave me back my life. I had more energy and no longer felt sick and tired of life. My hair was glossy and I zipped through gym sessions. But best of all, my libido came back."


Just to be clear: I'm not a doctor and I have no idea if HRT is good or bad, I'm just giving you some info that set me thinking. I will be discussing this with my wife when we get home from our vacation. If you think this stuff might be relevant to you then see your doctor and check what s/he thinks. And if you have any thoughts on this subject, or perhaps some personal knowledge or experence then feel free to share in the comments section below...

OPP: Dr Lexi - The Party