1. We are just a few months into 2014 but I want to know what have you done this year that you have never done before?
Ha! I'm so old there isn't much I haven't done before. I'm so old I'm doing it all again - last weekend I did coke! #the80sareback
2. You are going to a deserted island, your only entertainment will be to read. What five (5) books will you take with you?
What? I don't read any more - books are so last century. Now I just download whole seasons (House of Cards, Scandal, Game of Thrones, True Detective, etc) and 'binge' watch them until I'm finished. But okay, let's presume (for the purposes of todays TMI) that there is no power on this deserted island so i need to read something not watch it. I choose:
1] Penthouse Letters - it used to come as it's own publication (not just as a column in the pictorial magazine) so hopefully there's an anthology I can bring with me.
2] The Playboy Book: 50 Years - my wife actually bought me this for Xmas once. It was hardcover coffee table book and very expensive. Given that we had a 5 year old daughter I wasn't sure what coffee table my wife expected me to put it on, so I didn't even break open the cellophane - I returned it for store credit. And then lost the gift card for store credit they gave me! So, I'd be keen to finally see what's in that book.
3] Train Your Wife - this is a real book, right?
4] Star ~ A Novel by Pamela Anderson - I got this for my birthday a few years back but never actually read it. It's still on my bookshelf so maybe I'll bring it along - her sextape was so good, so this must be great.
5] Divergent ~ by Veronica Roth - after devouring the Hunger Games trilogy my 12 y.o. daughter has started on this trilogy. Maybe I should have a read myself to see if it's age appropriate (the covers look quite adult). I'd rather read the Hunger Games Fan Fiction she's reading online (since I hear that stuff is full of sex) but TMI says no iPads on the deserted island.
3. We all change and grow over time (at least you should). What two (2) things do you miss about the old you? Why?
I regret that I didn't take better care of my body (I used to work out and lift weights before meeting my wife). I didn't realise it was an issue for my wife until after I turned forty (and my wife went* through her mid life crisis) when she told me I was fat and needed a personal trainer - so she paid for 10 sessions as my birthday present! [*she's still going through it. She almost lives the life of a single woman again: out drinking with her new 'rich' friends, openly gushing over hunky men, roaring her approval at chauvinist behavior]
So my next regret is obvious, given what I've just said above. I regret becoming a Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG) back in the… when was it… early 90s? I should have spent less time pandering to her needs and spent more time asserting my own. If they ever remake* A Star Is Born they should have it about a working couple where her career overtakes his and he becomes the stay-at-home dad and she becomes the million dollar CEO.
4. How would you define and calculate 'sexual satisfaction'?
Notwithstanding my answer to #3 above, I am a bit of a girl in that I don't always need to cum in order to enjoy sex. Sometimes (very rarely) I don't cum, even if we've been having really great sex. I just love eating her out and fucking her. That said, it's pretty obvious from this blog that overall I'm not sexually satisfied. The sex is not as frequent as I'd like, although when we have it it's good - or great! Which just serves to frustrate me further as I wait for my next instalment of mystery sex.
5. Porn – Has it ever been good for your relationship? Has it ever been bad for your relationship?
It's good inasmuch that without it I'd be a screaming wreck. During those long dry periods of no sex I am forced to fly solo, but … I can't fly solo without some porn to watch/read. Seriously, I tried it the other day and I had nothing to watch or read so it was a complete bust. So I guess I'm not a girl afterall since I can't just close my eyes and imagine something to get me off.
The bad part is that my wife has a weird opinion of what is and isn't pornography.
As I've blogged previously, my wife doesn't think the dirty stories she reads on
Literotica is porn, but says the video clips I watch
are porn (which I don't dispute). So what I look at
is porn because it's 'real' (she thinks the women are all skanky hoes, and it's degrading), but what she reads is
not porn because it's 'not real' and 'it's just fantasy'.
Bonus: Is there a secret you'd like to share? What is it?
Although I love my wife, there are some fleeting moments when I don't like her. I haven't told her that (nor would I) but I have told her that she's not the woman I married. She's not even the woman I met and fell in love with. Luckily I still like her enough to hang in here.
*Bonus: Bonus
And if you found this Bonus Bonus as boring as fuck… bwahahaha! Sorry it wasn't sexy - I just like movies, is all.
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above
TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we'll all know where to read your responses. Please don't forget to link to
tmituesdayblog from your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!