Thursday, December 31, 2015

Enjoy the celebrations tonight!

I used to joke that after a decade of marriage your sex life is reduced to six times a year:

1] His Birthday
2] Her Birthday
3] Your Anniversary
4] Christmas
5] New Years Eve
6] Valentine's Day

Little did I know that after two decades of marriage your sex life is reduced to this:

1] His Birthday bad news buddy, that sex you had last weekend was your birthday sex!
2] Her Birthday hey, if it's her birthday shouldn't you do what she wants? and guess what she doesn't want to do?
3] Your Anniversary wow, thanks for a great dinner hon', but, er, well, I'm just feeling so full now - I couldn't possibly...
4] Christmas you're kidding, right?
5] New Years Eve this depends on how drunk she is: is she too drunk, just drunk enough, or not drunk at all? If she's not drunk, forget it.
6] Valentine's Day odds are 50/50 that it's either #3 again or "yeah, I suppose we should, it is Valentine's Day after all"


Enjoy the party tonight - make the most of it while you can!


my wife is actually quite the party girl - she loves to be the center of attention

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