Saturday, January 16, 2016

I Fucking Love Catcalls

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her. 
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. (FYI: all links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "I live on a busy street in Manhattan, in a predominantly working class, Black and Latino neighborhood. On my 4-block-long walk to the subway in the middle of the day, I probably encounter a few dozen local men. If I'm wearing something sexy, most of them "

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

I Fucking Love Catcalls

by Pervertically Virtuous
cat-callI live on a busy street in Manhattan, in a predominantly working class, Black and Latino neighborhood. On my 4-block-long walk to the subway in the middle of the day, I probably encounter a few dozen local men. If I'm wearing something sexy, most of them stare as I walk by. Many of them smile. A couple of them whistle. And about half a dozen call out.
Here's a selection of today's repertoire:
"Hey gorgeous!"
"Hello beautiful, come back!"
"You're a sexy mama, you know that?"
"Look at those legs! Damn!"
"Hey baby, not so fast, let Daddy show you a real man."
I know some women consider these cat-calls unpleasant, abusive, harassing. Hell, one even started a petition recently against an apparently offensive Burt's Bees Body Butter label encouraging catcalling that garnered enough media attention that Burt's Bees had to officially apologize. But I don't. I enjoy them.
I'm a hard-core feminist. But as hard as I try, I cannot see these catcalls as violent or offensive. Because they are not. None of those men has ever touched me without my consent. They've never called out something bad or negative about me. All they've done is let me know they find me - or some parts of me - attractive. And why wouldn't I like that?
Sure, you can argue it's objectifying me, making me into a sexual object. But I see nothing wrong with that - it's just reality, the way the human brain works. When you have limited information about someone, you can only form a limited picture about them. When that guy on the street sees me and thinks I'm sexually attractive but hasn't had (and most likely never will have) a chance to get to know me as a person, all he can see me as is a sexual object. He simply doesn't have any information to make other sorts of judgments about me. But that is hardly his fault - if anything, it's me who won't let him get to know me better.
It seems to me that choosing to take a cat-call as an insult stems from insecurity, or false/silly sense of modesty and self-respect, of refusing to acknowledge reality.
At its essence, a catcall is a compliment. And that's how I choose to interpret and respond to it. So when they stare at me, I stare back and smile. When they whistle or call out, I smile and say 'thank you'.
Would I actually sleep with those guys?  If I happen to find them attractive, yes, I would and I have. In most cases, however, no. Not because they called out, but because I don't find them attractive (I am very picky about the physical appearance of my men). But that doesn't prevent me from accepting a compliment. They just put a smile on my face and that deserves a simple acknowledgment and a thank you.
So bring it on. Tell me how gorgeous and sexy you think I am. Whenever, wherever. 
Pervertically Virtuous | January 16, 2014 at 10:17 am | URL: http://wp.me/p3F90k-wz

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