Monday, February 29, 2016

Something for the Ladies?

I used to have a blog on Wordpress that got terminated due to pornographic content. Here's one of those posts... 
(NB: the links are all dead so don't bother clicking)

Nero posted: " Something for the ladies? These images do nothing for me, but I love seeing two women go at it so I thought maybe women would have a similar fantasy (with roles reversed)? Guys will happily watch porn featuring two or more women with no male involv"

New post on Her Secret Library

Something for the ladies?

by Nero


image source

Something for the ladies?
These images do nothing for me, but I love seeing two women go at it so I thought maybe women would have a similar fantasy (with roles reversed)? Guys will happily watch porn featuring two or more women with no male involved, but I suspect it's not so common with women. I read somewhere that women prefer the one girl and two (or more) guys stuff rather than just watching two guys together with no female involvement. So I'd also be interested in hearing if women find these particular images (above) too overtly homosexual ie gay!
As an aside I'll say this: a lot (most!) of the 'lesbian' porn is fake. It's just two or more female actors performing for the benefit of the male viewer fantasy. Watching two or more guys go at it is more real - the actors can't fake a hard on, so you know they must really be into it.
Nero | December 12, 2013 at 12:31 pm

Sunday, February 28, 2016

"We want to get back to having 'before baby' sex"

No, I'm not going to show an 'after baby' photo...
The Huffington Post recently published a post titled '10 Complaints Sex Therapists Hear All The Time'. My reactions to some of those complaints were different to what the author may have intended so I thought I'd share some of them here, and then give you my 2¢ worth afterwards. If you want to read the whole article (and you should) you can find it here.
We want to get back to having 'before baby' sex 
"Couples seek sex therapy soon after having babies, sometimes because the woman feels too loose and says she can’t feel him inside her. I usually ask the woman if she has ever done Kegel exercises and I recommend she do twenty reps three times a day. If she wants quicker results, there are medical devices such as the Apex which inflates to fit and does your Kegel exercises for you through gentle electric stimulation. I also remind them that there is more to satisfying sex than just intercourse, such as mutual masturbation, oral sex and incorporating sex toys into their sexual pleasure." -- Ava Cadell, certified sex therapist
We never had any issues after our daughter was born, although I will admit that things aren't as tight as they used to be. But then I'm not sure if it that had anything to do with my wife having a baby anyway. There are times when I feel my wife is 'looser' and that's usually when she is really really horny and getting off big time. The more passionate/lustier/wetter she gets the looser she becomes. It was a gradual thing and I'm no scientist so I have no idea why.

Is it that my dick is shrinking? Is it because when we were younger she wasn't really aroused, therefore she seemed tighter? Is it just part of the ageing process? It could be anything and there's no point sweating it - it is what it is. At least I know better than to ask her to do Kegel exercises. She would not react well to that! I do wonder if it would be better (for me) if she let me take her in the ass, so she could clench those butt muscles, but I know that would be worse than asking about the kegels!!!

Of course, there is one other explanation. Her pussy is looser because she's been having an affair with a well hung man (men?) and she's stretched out... because my cock isn't big enough to truly satisfy her. Because I'm a failure as a man. Because... {spiral down into negative self-esteem loop}

Friday, February 26, 2016

A Serendipiutous MFM Threesome in Chicago

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her. 
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. (FYI: all links in this post are dead)
NB - Part One of this story can be found HERE (<--- yes, a live link)


Pervertically Virtuous posted: "This past summer in Chicago, a chance encounter at a coffee shop led to a most delightful MFM threesome with two sexy black men - best friends since childhood. I asked Corey, one of them, to write up for me. He finally did. I hope you enjoy. The pix were "

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

A Serendipiutous MFM Threesome in Chicago

by Pervertically Virtuous
IMG_3190 - CopyThis past summer in Chicago, a chance encounter at a coffee shop led to a most delightful MFM threesome with two sexy black men - best friends since childhood. I asked Corey, one of them, to write up for me. He finally did. I hope you enjoy. The pix were taken by him that night.
The old adage, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" isn't always correct. In fact, the suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this belief can and does keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities. Which brings me to the chance encounter of that Tuesday in August, 2013.
Albert Bandura wrote thirty years ago that "fortuitous influences may be unforeseen, but having had occurred, they enter as causal chains in the same way as prearranged ones do."  I know nothing of these things.  All I know is that I wanted to fuck her from the first moment I saw her.
Conversation was quick and easy.  She was warm, intelligent and mysterious.  Although she was a stranger I felt at ease in her presence.  My mind strayed.  Admiring her tattoos I could not help but imagine her skin pressed against me.  I wanted to see more and I really wanted to taste her pussy.  Our conversation flowed and the more I listened, the more desirable she became to me. It wasn't that she necessarily possessed an overtly sexual aura as much as she projected confidence and extreme intelligence. What could be sexier?
As our conversation turned to me I was unafraid to reveal. When she asked if I participated in threesomes I couldn't help but feel that she was in my head. I felt that by revealing that truth it would somehow bring that fantasy closer to reality. I also thought at that time I would probably never see her again. I wanted her desperately. My mind raced. I wanted to taste her pussy, kiss that gorgeous smile, and not only fuck her but watch her get fucked. I was certain that this woman would haunt me forever once she said goodbye. Inebriated.
Everything fell into place as though scripted and still I was with doubt. Did she intend to kiss me on the lips on her way out of my car? Was her interest in my "threesome" experiences just casual conversation or was there a motive?  Am I losing myself in my desires? Are we really going to do this? I thought of nothing else but her until we met again. I fantasized about masturbating and watching her suck dick.  I could almost taste her as though from memory.  She was a most beautiful distraction.
That evening, Darryl and I picked her up from her place. The moment of truth had finally arrived and I was still with doubt.  Could she really be willing to do this?
Entering the hotel all doubt finally left me. Sitting with her and Darryl at the bar I realized that this was actually going to happen. This dream of a woman was real and she wanted both of our black dicks. I knew alcohol wasn't really necessary. Neither of them was a drinker, and I was already inebriated. I have always found the moments before you know you're going to do it to be just as exciting as actually doing it. She sat between the two of us, with one hand on each of our knees. The air crackled with electricity and I could barely contain the emotions so I reached out to touch her.
B&W - CopyI didn't care who saw me. I needed to feel this dream made real. Having her pussy in my hand in that public place made the butterflies in me arise. So many people around just made it that much more exciting. I could feel her positioning and sliding her pussy around my hand and fingers.  I imagined it wet and shaved. In awe and in pleasure and in the pleasure of awe, I was on fire. I could have fucked her then and there with very little concern for consequence. This was more than just lust. I wanted to kiss and caress her and hold her in my arms. She was exquisite! In those moments I gave no thought to what the other two were thinking. I was walking in a dream.
The first embrace in the elevator told me that her passion was more than I imagined. She immediately sandwiched herself between us and pulled us each in tightly. Without words and without thinking we all came together in a tight embrace. It was like some sort of spontaneous release between the three of us. How intense were those kisses. How good her ass felt pressed against me. How quick the elevator reached our floor!
Immediately upon entering the room we went at it.  The passion was incredible and my emotions were high. She dropped to her knees between the two of us because she said that she hadn't had Black cock in her mouth for a long time. She sucked our cocks with authority while Darryl and I grinned liked schoolboys watching our first porn together. We stripped her naked and her white skin contrasted against our black bodies looked beautiful. I stepped back because I love to watch.  Taking a step I realized that she was the "Genuine Article" and we were merely amateurs at this threesome business. I was not deterred but I was definitely thrown off my game. Here I was thinking about how to ease her comfortably into my fantasy when I should have been thinking about how to keep up with her voracious appetite.
IMG_3166 - CopyWatching her suck black cock while I ate her pussy brought out the photographer in me. It all looked so cinematic to my eye. I deeply regret not walking away with more shots and video but I wasn't thinking clearly. The tables had been turned. She was in control and I loved it, feared it and lost myself in it all. Everything that she did she did with passion, energy and with great emotion. I took moments to step back and watch her get fucked. I was so good to just stroke my dick while watching her in action. She gave as good as she took. This girl can fuck! I almost came when he turned around fucked her doggy style.  That incredible ass on that thin frame bounced beautifully and nearly took me over the edge. She wouldn't let me hang off for too long because she wanted a cock in her mouth as she got fucked.
Looking down into her eyes as she sucked my cock I could see she was in her element.  This was not so casual that it lacked emotion.  The caresses were tender and many good vibes were transferred through touch but the fucking was unadulterated. Clearly, she loved it, craved it and lived for it.  I was completely taken by her passion, her beauty, her amazing ass!
The air crackled with bright energy. It's one thing to live a dream and something entirely different to live a dream and be able to recognize it.  From the moment she pulled out our cocks to suck, I knew that this evening was going to be special. As the night progressed I never lost focus on just how special it had become. She was a kindred spirit and something so much more.
When she dispatched me to buy lube I had no idea why I was buying it. I was too excited and horny to think about it clearly. When she asked us to fuck her in the ass and pussy at the same time I realized she came with a plan. This is the point where I started to feel a certain "performance anxiety" so to speak. I was so accustomed to being in the driver's seat that I never thought about what it would be like to be a passenger. I wasn't bothered or intimidated by a woman calling the shots at all. My dilemma was trying to keep pace and keep her satisfied. I wanted nothing more than to return all the pleasure she was giving and at the same time I wanted her to genuinely care for me. I got lost in those thoughts and became fearful of not meeting the challenge. Fearful that I was just going to be some fuck she had in Chicago.
I lost my focus but not my sense of adventure. It was a beautiful thing to see those two black cocks in her at the same time. She was insatiable and I was in awe. The cocks in her ass and pussy only spurred her on to do more.
When she wasn't sucking cock she kissed me in way that made me feel very attractive. Everything she did she did with great energy. I could have kissed her all night but she didn't come for kisses.  She came to fuck!
And fuck we did. For hours. She must have come countless times. Until all three of us were exhausted. Darryl was falling asleep as her and I closed the door behind us and I drove her home. I knew I would see her again. A special connection had been formed.
Pervertically Virtuous | February 26, 2014 at 11:03 pm | URL: http://wp.me/p3F90k-zF

Thursday, February 25, 2016

What happens when you haven't had sex for six weeks?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, my wife and I hadn't had sex for sex weeks. We'd gone on a four week vacation and she just wasn't in the mood the whole time. And since we didn't have sex the week before we left, nor the week after we got home... well, I was climbing the walls last Saturday night. What was especially frustrating was that I knew she'd been reading lots n lots of dirty stories that day, so... well, you can read all about that here.

Now before I detail the sex we did end up having that night, I suppose I should acknowledge that maybe I'm no longer the slim athletic man I used to be when she first met me. But I'm nowhere near as bad as this guy on the left, in the cartoon we used for TMI Tuesday a week ago.

So as I mentioned in yesterday's post, my wife had basically 'stood me up' in favor of reading her dirty stories on Literotica. Which really messed with my head. I mean, it must finally be over, right? This must be rock bottom - she just does not want to have sex with me anymore, ever?

Don't get me wrong - I know that A + B + C ≠ SEX - but it was frustrating that my wife was rejecting me from the gitgo. Again!

Okay, maybe it wasn't a total rejection since we did go out for dinner but... I felt like she was cutting me off without even giving me a chance to light a spark. Women often complain that their man doesn't do enough to be romantic but here I was trying to do something (I had a couple of chick flicks lined up) but she wasn't even open to it. She was cutting me off at the pass.

That's fine if it it's a coworker, acquaintance, or stranger trying to put the moves on you, but I'm her damn husband!

So she snuck off to bed at midnight and at 2am I followed her up there, in a very surly mood. I was very angry and confused, and yet also very keen to have sex with her (did I mention it had been SIX WEEKS?!). I decided to 'test' her, to see if the problem was all in my head. Maybe I needed to be more direct? Maybe I shouldn't be hatching cunning plans in my head, maybe I should be letting her know how I feel - letting her know what I wanted?

I walked around to her side of the bed and stood directly beside her.

"Are you asleep? I asked, touching her shoulder as if she was a dead body. I had no idea if she'd been reading her dirty stories until she heard me come up the stairs, or had gone to sleep earlier.

Her eyes remained closed and she mumbled "What?" in a manner that indicated she had been asleep.

"I wasn't sure if you were asleep, or waiting for me to come to bed?" I said, hopefully.

"What do you want?" she mumbled, before realising what I wanted.

I was standing naked (aside from my T-shirt) before her, in the darkness. I didn't answer her question and she said nothing as she grabbed my dick and started stroking me softly. I was already hard so she jacked me more firmly before putting her lips to my head and taking me in her mouth. My dick responded immediately (it had been six weeks!!!) and jumped from hard to rock hard. She started slurping in earnest, and I wasn't sure if she really had been asleep. Again, no words were spoken.

She continued fellating me and things became more urgent. I placed one hand on her breast (she likes breast play - see here and here) and the other hand behind her head to hold her steady as I began pumping gently but evenly into her warm wet mouth. It felt really good and soon I was pumping in and out quite hard and fast. She never complained, but I worried that my lust was taking over and I was getting too rough so I pulled out and stood up. I pulled back the covers and lifted up her nightdress to reveal her panties.

They were granny panties - she was having her period???

Actually they weren't granny panties and I did a double take. They were actually quite sexy - they were a 'pant cut' (ie big, like granny panties) but they were made of a very soft and sheer fabric. Very similar to the fabric her regular skimpy thongs were made of. They were definitely new, and definitely 'period panties'. But sexy.

"Are you having your period?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Yes" she replied, as I pulled them down her legs.

I rolled her over onto her stomach and then reached over to her nightstand to grab a vibrator. I switched it on and passed it to her - she slid it straight to her clit and I could hear the muffled buzzing beneath her as she started rolling her hips and grinding into it. Then she started that little grunt-moan she does when she's getting close to getting off. It seemed like I wasn't the only one who thought six weeks was too long to go without sex!! (Or was it all the porn she'd read?)

Her soft moans were dead sexy and I was still rock hard. I really need to be inside her and pound her hard. I pulled her hips up and moved her into the doggie position. She kept her head down on the bed, her eyes were closed, and that vibe was humming away at her clit. She was making little noises so I grabbed the lube from the nightstand and coated my cock. Since she was having her period I decided I was going to fuck her in the ass.

I climbed up on the bed behind her and maneuvered myself into position. With my free hand I smeared some lube over her asshole and with the other I tried to find the opening, in the darkness.


"What are you doing?" she said, without any tone.

"I'm going to fuck you in the ass, since you have your period"

"Jesus!" she said, "you have to tell me these things, you can't just poke it in there"

I wasn't planning to just poke it in there, and I figured me lubing up her asshole was a big clue as to my intentions, but I said nothing. She said nothing more either, so I took that as consent and placed the tip of my cock at her backdoor. She was still working that vibe on her pussy as I slowly slid inside her. She was tight, so I took my time, but I slid in easily and without resistance. Given that I knew she had been reading 'Anal' stories that day I didn't feel bad about fucking her in the ass - as I've said previously if she doesn't want to do something she'll let me know.

I held her hips and started thrusting gently, then more firmly as I relished the tightness of her ass wrapped around my cock. After six weeks without sex I didn't need much encouragement and I could feel the cum begin to boil in my balls. I started gripping her hips tighter and thrusting into her harder and faster. I was definitely ready to cum now and I told her as much before rising up higher and plunging my cock in and out, spearing her with my stiff prick. Suddenly I was ejaculating, pumping out a river of sticky cum into her tight asshole.

God it felt good! My whole body shook as my climax spasmed through me from tip to toe.

Then my wife slumped down and forward, collapsing onto the bed as I made the mad dash for the tissues. She lay there with cum dribbling out her butt as I scrambled to find the damn box of tissues - there weren't any! I ran to the bathroom and back, with a wad of tissue in my hand. She snatched them from me, and I returned to the bathroom to clean myself up.

When I got back she was silent and lying back under the covers. I climbed in beside her and kissed her goodnight. She kissed me back but said nothing. Paranoia set in...

"Sorry," I volunteered "but after six weeks without sex you know how I get*. Lust just takes over and I turn into a beast"

(*We've discussed this previously a few times. When we haven't had sex for a long time I turn into a bit of a wild man, and do some very non-vanilla things. I still haven't figured out if she prefers it this way - which might be why she 'starves' me? The problem is she never articulates her sexual desires - she doesn't object to anal but she never asks for it explicitly either. I always have to 'take her' 'that way' and without her express permission - but her consent is implicit)

"It was okay" she said "but we need to sleep now - we have a brunch at 11 tomorrow"

And so she rolled over and went to sleep, leaving me to stare at the ceiling and ponder the meaning of 'it was okay'. Did she cum or didn't she cum? She sounded like she was about to cum, but did she actually cum? If she didn't cum was it because I 'ruined it' by doing anal? Was I too quick? Should I have slowed down? Should I ask her if she came? Is she asleep? Should I wake her up and ask her if she enjoyed it? But then she never admits she likes it in the ass... except for that one time... so...

I had a million questions. As I always do after having sex with my wife.

She is an enigma.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

How much Porn do I have to watch before I'm ready to have sex with my wife?

some couples watch porn together - even while having sex!
My wife is so ugly I have to watch a shit load of porn before I can get my dick hard enough to fuck her. No, I don't have a problem with Erectile Dysfunction - she's just that fat and ugly.

But seriously... my wife is not fat or ugly ~ she's hot! ~ so it's not a problem. The correct answer is: I don't need to watch porn first in order to fuck her. Or make love to her. Or however you wish to term it.

Unfortunately my wife can't say the same about me. She needs to read a lot of dirty stories before she's ready to have sex with me. A lot of dirty stories!! I'm not kidding.

We just got back from a four week vacation in South America and we didn't have sex once the whole time we were away. Not once! Now she might argue that we didn't have the chance, since my daughter also came with us (once in a lifetime trip etc etc, so we pulled her out of school), but I'd argue differently. Sure, the week in the Amazon was as hot as hell (we were in the jungle so there was NO air con!!) so we had neither the opportunity or the inclination, but we also took a two week cruise that included FOUR 'sea' days so... there was plenty of opportunity to sneak back to our air conditioned cabin if she was so inclined. But she wasn't.

(And if you think she was worried about our daughter coming back to the cabin and catching us you'd be wrong - all my daughter cared about for the entire four week vacation was the wifi. It was a complete waste of time and money bringing her, as her face was buried in her devices at every opportunity. For her a day at sea on the cruise meant 6 hours of uninterrupted online time)

So... we didn't have sex the week before our vacation, we didn't have sex on our vacation (despite my best efforts), and we didn't have sex when we got back from our vacation.

So after six weeks without sex I was climbing the walls. Last Saturday night I was sure I would get lucky. She had spent the day reading Literotica online (in secret, but I can always tell) and then we went out for a very nice romantic dinner together, which she enjoyed. When we got home I went into the movie room in the basement and loaded up Netflix, planning to watch a romantic movie... my wife went upstairs but said she'd be back shortly.

Shortly never came.

When I finally realised she wasn't coming I went upstairs. She was in the kitchen, with her iPad out. She was back on the 'crack', reading Literotica. She claimed she was watching the movie on TV and reading magazines online. I told her I had a movie cued up on Netflix downstairs and she asked 'which one?'. She didn't like my choice (a 4 star rated independent rom-com) and said she was now in the middle of the film that was on TV (an 80s classic that has been re-run a million times, and something she would never watch ordinarily because she'd seen it already a dozen times) but she said she would come down when it was finished. I knew damn well she was choosing the porn on her iPad over me, so I harrumphed and went back to the movie room.

Three hours later (well after her film had finished) I went back up to see where she was. She was gone, retreating to bed where she could 'read' in comfort. By which I mean read her dirty stories, pluck out her pubic hairs (a strange habit I've caught her doing) and cross her legs really tightly and make herself feel good. Basically I'd been cuckolded by Literotica!

FUCK YOU LITEROTICA!!

We did end up having sex on Saturday night but it's an awkward and unpleasant story. I'll tell you that tomorrow, I promise, but first I just wanted to get this preamble out of the way to prepare you for what comes in tomorrow's instalment. It's also important that you scroll down through the pictures below to get some sense of just how much porn my wife needs to read before she's ready to have sex with me. It may seem like it goes on forever but trust me, keep scrolling.... (there are comments between the photos)

NB: the photos are in chronological order but within each screengrab (a photo of her browser history) you read the titles from the bottom up...





did someone mention lunch? hmmm, that's making me hungry...
wow, it's almost dinner time - I really should stop reading

the break between 'afternoon' and 'evening' is because I took her out to dinner
yup - straight after dinner she was back on the crack


The deleted portion is to hide what she pretended to be reading when
I came up and asked her to come and watch a movie with me in the movie room



it says 'this morning' because it's now after midnight


this is when she stopped reading and went to bed...
did she stop because she was sated, or because she was worried
I'd see she was still up and come to bed too...?




Tuesday, February 23, 2016

TMI Tuesday: February 23, 2016 ~ Let’s do this!



1. How many people do you really trust?
~ If I say 'no-one' I sound paranoid, right? The obvious answer is 'My Wife' but... there's still a 10% trust deficit. Sorry, life has taught me that you can't truly trust anyone but yourself. Yes, I know I should be able to trust my wife 100% but... a woman that attractive? If she's not having sex with me (she isn't, hardly) then she must be getting it somewhere.

2. What are you excited for?
~ At this stage of my life I don't allow myself to get excited by anything. Which is not to say I don't get excited. Does that make sense? I get excited when I do things, but I have no passion projects or hobbies that have me clapping my hands and shouting "SQUEEEEEE!!"

3. Have you had sex today?
~ No. That's the short answer - the long answer is that we had sex on Saturday night but only because I woke her up at 3am and 'forced the issue'. There's a longer post on that coming tomorrow, but essentially we haven't had sex for six weeks and I couldn't take it anymore. She had said we would, but we never did, so ... [click here when this link is live]

4. When was the last time you talked to someone until you fell asleep? What relation are they to you?
~ The 80's. They made a movie about it called [insert any 80's romantic movie title here]. Seriously, who does that anymore? I'm 50 and I've been married for 25 years....

5. What is your opinion on sex before marriage?
~ I highly recommend it. People should know if they're sexually compatible before they get married, not after. I think it's only religious people who 'wait until marriage' (and the socially awkward) - although plenty of people who claim to be religious do it anyway. And then repent, presumably. And then sin again...

Bonus: Does your present lover know any of your past lovers? How well?
~ Ha! My wife has made a point of 'getting to know' my old girlfriends and befriending them. Not that they are BFF's, she just gets close enough to assert her position. It's purely strategic, trust me. The exception is the one girlfriend I had before I met wife. The one I left because I felt I was too young for marriage, which is where we were heading. My wife knows better than to try and be friends with her.  

Monday, February 22, 2016

How Getting Coffee Leads to a Threesome

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her. 
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. (FYI: all links in this post are dead)
NB - Part Two of this story can be found HERE (<--- yes, that's a live link)


Pervertically Virtuous posted: "This past summer I was in Chicago for a conference. It was my first time in Chicago, so I arrived a day early so I could walk around and get a sense of the city before the conference craziness began. My host, a friend of a friend, was at work when I arriv"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

How Getting Coffee Leads to a Threesome

by Pervertically Virtuous
coffee-shop-girlThis past summer I was in Chicago for a conference. It was my first time in Chicago, so I arrived a day early so I could walk around and get a sense of the city before the conference craziness began. My host, a friend of a friend, was at work when I arrived early in the morning, so I dropped off my bags, changed, and went for a walk. Her apartment was just outside "the loop," so it was a quick and fairly pleasant walk to and around the central business district. I had no particular agenda, I was just wandering around.
After a while, I decided to try and get to the lake. On the way, I saw a nice looking coffee shop and realized I hadn't had any coffee all day. As I was waiting to order my shot of espresso, a group of three people wearing suits, dress shirts, and name tags walked in. They clearly worked nearby, perhaps even in that building. One of them was a cute black guy. Not much taller than me, but pretty face and definitely not overweight, though his shirt was too loose to discern the level of shape he was in. I smiled at him and he smiled back and stood behind me, chatting and laughing with his friends. After a minute or so, he abruptly interrupted their conversation mid-sentence.
"Oh my God, that is an amazing tattoo!" he exclaimed, clearly talking about my back piece. "I've never seen anything like that before. Wow! Who's the artist? Where did you get that done? Did you come up with that?"
He fired all these questions before I even got a chance to properly turn around and display the rest of my art. It was a warm, sunny day and I was wearing a low-cut top, revealing more than half of my body art. Upon seeing the rest of it, he was even more intrigued and enthralled. We started chatting. I told him I got my tattoos in New York and he told me his best friend lived in New York and worked as a personal trainer.
"Mmm, he must be really hot, then, huh?" I offered flirtatiously.
"He is," he responded. "He's in an amazing shape."
"Is he black?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Yes."
It was the middle of the work day and his friends were there, so neither of us could take it too far. We had all gotten our coffees by then and there was nothing left to do but walk out.
"Can I get to the lake if I walk this way?" was one last thing I wanted to ask.
"Where are you trying to go?" he asked.
"Nowhere in particular, I'm just walking around," I explained. "I've been in Chicago for a total of three hours, I'm just exploring".
But he had something better to offer.
"I'm on my lunch break. Do you want me to show you around? I could get a car from work, I work right here in this building," he pointed to his name badge.
Most sane people would probably say 'no' to a complete stranger offering them a tour in his car around a city they've never been to before. But not me. I saw it as an opportunity for an adventure and happily agreed. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Rape me? You can't rape the willing. Rob me? I didn't have much on me. Kill me? Very few people would do that. And he had a respectable job at a respectable company, and his friends knew where he was going. It just felt right. And my gut has rarely been wrong about such things.
A few minutes later, he picked me up in front of the coffee shop. (While waiting I had already flirted with and got the number of another cute guy who was locking up his bike near where I was standing. Unfortunately, I did not have enough days in my schedule to pursue that.)
I hopped in the car and hoped for the best. And the best is exactly what I got.
Corey was born and raised near Chicago, spent most of his adult years there, and knew the city intimately. For the next hour and a half, I got an amazing tour of the city. He drove me all over the place, showing me all the various neighborhoods and telling me all the important historical stories. We stopped by the lake and wet our feet in it. He was a photographer and snapped a few photos of me by the water. We even drove through the South Side. It didn't look particularly scary.
During the entire time, he spoke very fondly of his friend in NYC, Darryl. They met when they were in elementary school and have remained close friends since - they were in their early 40's. Even though he lived in NYC for several years now, Darryl still came back to Chicago to visit Corey and party together on a regular basis. There was something very soft and nurturing about Corey in general, and about the way he talked about Darryl in particular. It almost sounded like they could be gay, boyfriends, but he clearly communicated that wasn't the case.
I don't know why, but I had a feeling that they did more than just party together.
"Do you and Darryl ever have threesomes with women?" I suddenly asked as our tour was coming to an end.
He paused for a second, dumbfounded. "How did you know? I've never told anyone about it, certainly not someone I just met. How did you know?" he kept asking, completely blown away by my perceptiveness and bluntness.
"I don't know, I just had a feeling," I said honestly. "The way you talked about him. I just knew. So tell me about it."
"Yeah, we sometimes play with girls. I love watching him fuck women and taking pictures. Sometimes I'll just drive him around while he goes at it in the back. All the sounds would drive me crazy because I couldn't watch and drive at the same time. My imagination would be on fire. We've been doing it for many years. When we were kids we would go into a dark closet with girls and touch them and stuff. A prepubescent threesome of sorts."
Fascinating.
We soon came to the end of our tour. He had to go back to work. We exchanged numbers and talked about possibly hanging out a couple of nights later. I had by then deduced that Corey wasn't in the best of shapes - certainly no 6-pack and no arm definition either, but he was cute and really sweet. It could be fun to hang out. I gave him a kiss on the lips and got out of the car.
I couldn't have imagined a better guide of Chicago. Or a more titillating conversation during the tour.
I continued my walk, and we exchanged a few simple 'thank you, nice meeting you' texts. And then, exactly one hour later, I received the following text:
"Unbelievably, I received a phone call from my friend Darryl from New York to say that he is coming to Chicago tomorrow. How wild is that?"
I wasn't sure if that was truly a coincidence, or if Corey had called Darryl and told him he must get his ass in Chicago ASAP, but it didn't matter. Now that the personal trainer was in town, and there was a possibility of a threesome with two black men, there was no way I wasn't going to explored that. We arranged to meet two days later.
Stay tuned for the action.
Pervertically Virtuous | February 22, 2014 at 11:00 am | URL: http://wp.me/p3F90k-rH

Sunday, February 21, 2016

"We have mismatched sexual desires"


The Huffington Post recently published a post titled '10 Complaints Sex Therapists Hear All The Time'. My reactions to some of those complaints were different to what the author may have intended so I thought I'd share some of them here, and then give you my 2¢ worth afterwards. If you want to read the whole article (and you should) you can find it here.
We have mismatched sexual desires 
"The most commonly reported problem I hear about is what sex therapists call 'desire discrepancy': One partner wants sex more often than the other and in a more erotic way. In the beginning of a relationship, the higher desire partner probably kept the erotic energy going in the marriage and it was fun and sexy. After a while, if you're the lower sex-drive partner, it can feel annoying and even manipulative to have a partner who is constantly looking for sex when you aren’t into it. Sometimes it's just because the sex isn’t that great; working on discovering the kind of sex both partners want can improve the performance and eroticism of their sex life. Or it could be that there's tension and frustration in the relationship and it's leaking over into the erotic part of the relationship. If that's the case, it's a hard climb over that kind of resentment in bed. But talking about what's bothering you can actually bring you closer and make you more inclined to want to make love." -- Tammy Nelson, certified sexologist and sex therapist and the author of Getting the Sex You Want
Ow! This cuts close to the bone!!

As regular readers will know by now, this blog is ALL about how I try to deal with the fact that my wife and I have infrequent sex. I used to think we had mismatched libidos, but now I think she has the desire - it's just not to fuck me. She reads sooo many 'erotic stories' (a.k.a porn) on her iPad that it's clear to me she is not frigid.

There's really not much more I can say that Tammy Nelson hasn't already said above. All I can add is that we have tried seeing a counsellor (twice) to discuss the issue, and although it achieved results those results 'wore off' over time. We tried to spice things up, it worked for a while, but eventually my wife had to open her eyes and recognise it was still the same old me fucking her. (That's a metaphor by the way, she didn't actually have her eyes shut while making love to me!!)


Saturday, February 20, 2016

The Making of a Happy Slut

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her. 
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. (FYI: all links in this post are dead)


Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Upon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday.  Anthony's question #4 was about how I came to be the way I am. Last week, I talked about five factors that have been most influential in sha"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

The Making of a Happy Slut

by Pervertically Virtuous
Happy-Witch-SlutUpon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. 
Anthony's question #4 was about how I came to be the way I am. Last week, I talked about five factors that have been most influential in shaping me as a slut and sexual rebel. But the answer to question #4 wouldn't be complete without also talking about what has allowed me to not just be a slut, but also THRIVE as a slut, physically and mentally. 
So this week, I give you four factors that have been critical for my psychological and physical health and wellbeing while living this lifestyle.
1. Easy, plentiful orgasms. I've been blessed with a highly responsive and easily aroused body that enjoys physical touch immensely and can have an orgasm (or five) pretty much any time, any place, with anyone. And this orgasmic ability has only gotten better as I've gotten older, depending less and less on my partners and more and more on myself - something that is critical when many of your partners are people you barely know, who may or may not care much about your pleasure.
My orgasmic capacity is likely a combination of a biologically determined physiology toward high sexual arousability and responsivity, years of practice (solo and with others) and fine-tuning likes and dislikes, and an assertive personality that likes to take control and responsibility for her own pleasure. Whatever its source, this makes my engagement in casual sex extremely pleasurable and fun. Unlike most women (see this NYT article on women and hookups), I cum virtually every time I have sex (casual or otherwise). If I didn't, I think I'd would be quite frustrated and bitter about my sexplorations.
2. Ability to remain emotionally unattached following casual sex. Some people get attached very easily after sex - even if it was a one-night stand with a random stranger, even if they explicitly didn't want to get attached. Others need a lot more than a few orgasms before they start planning their wedding. I'm of the later kind, at the far end of the spectrum. And this is critical for my sanity. If I wanted lots of sex with lots of people but got easily attached to all those lovers, I'd be screwed, emotionally suffering each time the vast majority of those sexual experiences didn't turn into long love affairs. This way, I can enjoy them for what they are, without disappointments at what they cannot be.
This could be a product of my upbringing, of my fast and furious lifestyle that didn't allow for lasting attachments to form. Or it could be a product of my biology: I might be one of those people who are biologically less susceptible to the effects of oxytocin - the bonding chemical, produced in our brains during sex and especially orgasm. Whatever it is, I'm eternally grateful to have been blessed with it.
3. Stable high self-esteem. My whole life I've had high self-esteem that was completely independent of other people's opinions. Being an open, unapologetic slut, breaking all norms of what respectable good girls are supposed to be like, you can't escape the societal disapproval. There have always been people in my social environment who rejected, ridiculed, or talked about me, in my face or behind my back. If that affected how I felt about myself, I would've put a gun to my head a long time ago. But my self-esteem has always been entirely unfazed by the haters. I know (and always have) I am a worthy human being, no matter what they say, and there is NOTHING in the world that can shake that core belief. I know that not everyone can like me, and I'm perfectly OK with that. In fact, I prefer it that way. What would it say about me if all the different people in the world liked me?!
My high self-esteem is something I can't really take credit for. It could be a product of my early upbringing. In the first 7 years of my life, before my parents divorced, I received lots of unconditional love and messages of intrinsic worthiness from both of them. Or I could have, again, won some genetic lottery (self-esteem is likely heritable to a large extent).
4. Responsible sexual engagement.
The stereotype of a slut is often that of someone who gets trashed before sex, sleeps indiscriminately with whoever happens to be available, often doesn't use condoms, is infected with every possible STI under the sun. That doesn't sound particularly healthy, happy, or appealing.
But I am none of those things. I only sleep with people I find attractive (and as regular readers of this blog know, only a small proportion of the population conforms to my standards of attractiveness). If at any point in time, I start feeling uncomfortable about being with someone, I leave. I don't get drunk before sex (or ever, for that matter). I sometimes do certain drugs before sex, but it's always in amounts moderate enough to maintain control over what I'm doing and remember everything the next day. I don't have sex with people who are drunk or high beyond a little buzzed. I use condoms religiously. I get tested every three months. I'm vaccinated against the STIs that you can get vaccinated against.
These are all personal choices to be as responsible as I can in my risk taking, buttressed by a disposition toward relatively high conscientiousness, and, even more so, information. That doesn't mean I remove all risks (if I did it wouldn't be risk taking), but I minimize them to some personally acceptable level. And so far, considering the number of people I've slept with, I've done pretty well for myself and my physical health and safety.
And there you have it. The full recipe for one Happy Slut. In a nutshell.
Have a question for me? Don't hesitate to ask PV!
Pervertically Virtuous | February 20, 2014 at 10:48 am | URL: http://wp.me/p3F90k-ya

Friday, February 19, 2016

I think I've figured it out…

I used to have a blog on Wordpress that got terminated due to pornographic content. Here's one of those posts... (NB: the links are all dead so don't bother clicking)

Nero posted: " [I can't help feeling she has me by the balls, and I'm getting fucked] As you may know (if you're read most of this blog) my wife started reading dirty books via Amazon/Kindle, before switching to the nasty short stories on Literotica."

recovered post on Her Secret Library

I think I've figured it out…

by Nero
image
[I can't help feeling she has me by the balls, and I'm getting fucked]
As you may know (if you're read most of this blog) my wife started reading dirty books via Amazon/Kindle, before switching to the nasty short stories on Literotica.com. So I enjoyed a good six months of great uninhibited sex with my wife, where we did a bunch of new things, and I was generally happy (aside from my angst about the sudden change in her sexual libido).
And then the well ran dry.
This is has been a terrible month, and the previous one wasn't great either. Sure, we've had sex - but the frequency is next to nothing and it's all straight old married couple sex. Her libido is zero and I'm not going to force myself on her. 
So I've been stewing in my own juices, wondering what's going on in her head - I can't figure out how someone can do all that stuff one minute (and I know she enjoyed it) and then next minute say "No, not interested"? Was it something I said, something I did? For the life of me I can't imagine what it might have been.
The well has simply run dry.
And then I read this post by Dizzygirl. There's a lot more to it than the bit I'm quoting, but this is the bit that is relevant to my situation:
Then, a strange thing happened. I no longer fantasized about being with women. It's not like I was turned off by the idea. It just never came up in my mind anymore. It was as though I fulfilled the fantasy and it no longer intrigued me like it had before. I'd satisfied my curiosity. Is that all it was? … I was exploring my sexuality, not really committing to anything one way or another… I don't fantasize about it anymore. I did enjoy it when it happened but now, I'm not interested in actively pursuing it.
So… my wife read some dirty books, thought "mmmm, I'd like to try that", and did. Tried it some more just to be sure, then ticked off her list. Done.
Great, but where does that leave me? I've tasted the ambrosia but now I'm told there is no more.
Nero | July 3, 2013 at 12:30 pm | Tags: dirty little porn library, realworld 

These women would eat me alive!