Thursday, March 31, 2016

Recovered comment: Novelty and 'non-specific arousability'

this is a recovered post from my old blog on Wordpress, that they deleted due to pornographic content :(

bettyandbeans commented: "I've had countless conversations, particularly with Judy, on this subject. And women's sexual attitude in general. And honestly as a female, I can't begin to answer why women don't communicate more openly about sex. A general lack of interest, embarrassme"

recovered comment on Her Secret Library

in response to Nero:
I've been following PV and her Pervertically Virtuous blog for sometime now. You need to check it out too, I'm not going to even attempt to explain her – but she's quite unique. She's a deep thinker (she has PhD) and often gets into the psychology behind sexuality. When she wrote this post I was moved to respond […]
I've had countless conversations, particularly with Judy, on this subject. And women's sexual attitude in general. And honestly as a female, I can't begin to answer why women don't communicate more openly about sex. A general lack of interest, embarrassment – from either a fear of looking "slutty" or lacking of knowledge. I just don't know.

Which is why we men don't know either!

G commented on Novelty and 'non-specific arousability':Yep, I remember reading this post last month and thinking, "fuck, that's me too." This is why I think monogamy kind of sucks.

The only thing(s) holding us back from polygamy are vanity and jealousy.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

"Consent alone is a low bar for sex"

Part of the problem IMO is magazines like Cosmo,
'teaching' young women how to give HIM the best blowjobs, etc
The full headline for the Salon story is "Consent alone is a low bar for sex: “We have become more comfortable talking about girls’ victimization than girls’ pleasure”" and it caught my eye while I was writing my answers for yesterday's TMI Tuesday post (specifically Q4)

It's a great interview - Peggy Orenstein talks to about empowered sexuality, sex ed, and what "purity ball" culture gets right. Her comments about consent relate to the emphasis we place on encouraging young women/girls to only have sex if they want to, but then we do nothing to tell them they should only do it if they want to and enjoy it themselves! Too many young women are willingly having sex but are not getting any pleasure from it themselves - other than being pleased they got the guy off. 

Here's just a few excerpts, but do read the full interview here.

MARY ELIZABETH WILLIAMS :~ I’m not going to tell you to go right now and buy a copy of Peggy Orenstein’s “Girls & Sex.” I’m going to tell you to buy two copies: One for yourself, and one for the teenager in your life. Because kids — boys and girls, gay and straight — need to understand not just what a new generation of girls is doing in their intimate lives. They need to know what they’re not doing. Like when they’re not saying no to stuff they’re not into, because it’s easier than arguing about it. Like when they’re not asking themselves what feels good — for them. And it’s high time, in a cultural moment fraught with sexual panic about hookups and sexting and questions of consent, to shift the conversation — and to fight for young women’s right to orgasm. One of the things that bums me out is seeing young girls who can be so empowered and forthright everywhere else, and then in private they don’t even know that they’re allowed to want things. They’re giving sexual favors and getting nothing in return. 
Peggy Orenstein:~ One of my favorite stories is talking to girls about the nonreciprocal thing and saying, “What if guys asked you to get a glass of water, over and over, and they never offered to get you a glass of water? Or if they did, it was totally begrudging?” They would laugh. It’s less insulting to be told that you’re never going to have reciprocal oral sex and you’re always going to be expected to go down on a guy than get him a glass of water.
Look at research: When we talk about sexual satisfaction, we’re not talking about the same thing. Young women tend to measure sexual satisfaction by their partner’s satisfaction — which is why lesbians are more likely to have orgasms. They’re like, “I want you to feel good! No, I want you to feel good!” Heterosexual girls will say, “If he’s satisfied, I’m satisfied.” 
Boys are more likely to measure sexual satisfaction by their own orgasm and their own pleasure. On the flipside, when they talk about bad sex they use completely different language. Boys will say, “I didn’t come or I wasn’t that attracted to her.” Girls will talk about pain and humiliation and degradation. Boys never use that language. We’re talking about really different experiences going into it. 
I think all of those things that have grown more intense in an age when the culture has grown so visual and so focused and even more saturated in sexuality. You have a hookup culture where sex precedes intimacy rather than the other way around. And that’s not saying, “Only have sex in relationships,” because that’s not true. It’s not a moral judgment. We’re not saying, “Oh heavens.” We’re saying, what are you getting out of your sexual experiences? What do you want to get from those experiences? What are you entitled to, and how do you get there? 
What I wanted to do is say, this is what it looks like. This is what you’ll probably get out of it. This is what you won’t get out of it. Once you know all that, you make your informed choices. Otherwise, the choices are just presented by the media and it’s like, we rip off half our clothes, we have intercourse with nothing preceding it. We both have orgasms in three seconds and it’s great. Then real girls go into real encounters and think, “What’s wrong with me?”....

Full interview continued here 

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

TMI Tuesday: March 29, 2016 ~ Sexy You

Do your sexy thang! It’s TMI Tuesday.

sexy you tmi
Kim Kardashian posted this pic to show what she had to do
to make herself look sexy - like taping up her breasts for a braless dress
1. How do you feel about your appearance?
a. Negatively - I now see myself as my wife sees me (and tells me): I am overweight and look like a sourpuss.
b. Positively

2. Are you satisfied with your appearance?

a. Yes
b. No - but I'm not sure what more I can do. My wife feels I could do more. She wants me to go on the 5:2 Diet (only eat 5 times a week, fast 2 days a week) but if I skip even one meal a day I get cranky. My wife already controls my sex life, all I have left is what I eat. And it's hard not to look like a Sourpuss as you contemplate which of her guy friends is driving her car (see Q5 below).

3. Are you currently doing anything to improve your self-image (i.e., exercise, therapy, weight change, new lover, cosmetic surgery)? What?
No, I tried walking/running more but due to a recurring inoperable problem with a bone in my foot (it keeps breaking) I can't do that. I have considered liposuction, but haven't gone any further than thinking "Maybe I should try liposuction?"

4. Do you have any rules that must be adhered to either before sexual action takes place or during sex?
Yes - both parties must be consenting to what is happening. And preferably enthusiastic about what is happening.

5. Are you satisfied with your significant other’s appearance? If not what would you improve?
Sheesh - hell no. My wife is a hot little thing - that's the problem! If she's not doing it with me then who is she doing it with? Because someone as hot and sexy as she is can't be keeping her Ferrari parked in the garage.

Bonus: What makes you feel sexy?
I'm not sure if guys feel 'sexy' the same way as women, but I guess I feel sexy when I'm really connecting with a woman. I might be at a party or an event (at a club or restaurant) and I get into a little chit chat with one of the ladies present (because my wife is working the room, leaving me long time to my own devices) and you both get a little flirty and you know she's vibing off you but in your head you think 'if I wasn't married...' and then you think "but in a parallel universe..."


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). 
Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, March 28, 2016

Good Friday was Good

I don't shave, so this isn't me!
(But that's what my wife's breasts look like - mmmm!)

Christians celebrated Easter over the weekend, but not us, we're atheists. But Friday was still Good for me because we had sex. Kind of.

I invited my wife up to our bedroom to watch the sunset, but she took her sweet time and she missed it. I then invited her to lie down on the bed so I could eat her out, something I'd been trying to do all week because I knew her period was due. "Too late!" she said "it started today". I suggested that wouldn't matter, if I was careful, but she said No Way Jose.

She offered instead to go down on me.

An offer I gladly accepted.

Her actions did not follow her words however, so I stopped kissing and caressing her and stood up. I removed my boxers and jumped back on the bed. She sidled up next to me and snuggled in.

Again, her actions did not follow her words, so I started slowly jacking my cock. She watched for a while before snaking a hand over and cupping my balls. She likes playing with my balls. She watched as my cock stiffened and then got very hard, at which point she took over the hand job. She pumped me until she had the length and hardness she desired, then she lent over and started licking my cock. Then it was in her mouth, just the tip at first, before swallowing the whole thing.

Her mouth and tongue were all over me. She pressed her boobs into my balls and raked them with her stiff nipples.

She started jacking my cock again as her tongue rolled around my balls, before dropping further down. She pushed my legs wider and higher and rimmed me hard. With both her hands on my legs I resumed jacking my cock as her tongue swirled all over my ass and balls. It felt very good and I could feel my climax approaching. I warned her I was close, so she let go of me and sidled up to me again.

She started squeezing her breasts and pulling on her nipples.

"My nipples are so hard and stiff" she teased, knowing how much I loved her nipples "look how big they are". I did indeed look, as she pulled them as far out as they would go. "Wouldn't you like to cum over these tits?" she asked, as she let go her nipples and cupped her full breasts with both her hands. Indeed I did, so I got up and straddled her chest - pressing my balls up into her cleavage as her fingers traced around her boobs and nipples.

I continued pumping my stiff prick but it didn't take long before my balls boiled over and my cum spurted every where. I drained a full load as she rubbed the sticky mess all over her tits.

It was a Good Friday alright!

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Freema Agyeman & Jamie Clayton - THAT scene in Sense8!!

So I finally got around to watching Sense8 on Netflix and... WOW!!

It's a great show, and not just because of all the great sex scenes in it. But of course since this is a sex blog I'm going to talk about the sex... it's chock full of really hot sex scenes! Not porn sex, since it is a TV show, but hot because it's a cable TV show (do we count Netflix as a cable channel?) and they can go waaaay further than regular TV can with what they show. This scene below was the first one to catch my eye, firstly because it features Freema Agyeman (who I have been hot for since seeing her in Doctor Who) but particularly because they actually showed a sex toy in use - in all it's glory. It went where no other show has been before, as far as I've seen. Watch it now:

That scene features in the very first episode so I was immediately hooked and wondering what else was in store for the rest of the series. Don't get me wrong, it's not wall-to-wall sex (some episodes have none) but when it happens it's included in a natural way. Where other shows might fade to black after showing some buttons being undone or a zipper going down this one doesn't cut away, it shows what happens next.

If you want some spoilers then click this link for some still images that will give you a taste of what's in store. The show has some great gay (male) sex scenes too, if you're into that. I'm not, but I still found them highly erotic. There are also group sex scenes, lesbian scenes, and lots of nudity because people in real life get naked a lot. There's also a transgender character, so all bases are covered!

Finally, let's talk about the show itself. It's produced and directed by the Wachowski's, who gave us the Matrix trilogy - so you know it's going to be different.  It's about 8 people in different parts of the world who are all connected, but don't know it yet. Things happen to them in their own lives that they don't understand and it takes them a while to figure out. As a viewer you will have a similar experience. There are no simple answers in the first episode - you won't finish it and think "aha, this is a show about..." The story unfolds as the series progresses and both you and the characters in the show slowly begin to understand what is going on.

Aside from the sexual content I also found the cinematography fantastic - each episode is shot like a movie - and the writing is excellent. I have not been to half of the countries featured in this show and yet I really felt I had a sense of who those people lived their lives. The Wachowski's haven't resorted to stereotypes in the way they show those cultures either, which I found refreshing. If you find yourself watching the first few episodes and still not 'understanding' what is going on, relax, and stick with it. You will be rewarded, trust me.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Some Easter Bunnies

Happy Easter everyone!

As a lapsed Catholic I can't remember if we do the Easter egg hunt on Good Friday or Easter Sunday (but I know it's not Easter Monday) so I'll be eating my chocolate bunny today because I'm greedy and can't wait!
Mmmmm... eating out a bunny...!!


Thursday, March 24, 2016

Need Inspiration? Look No Further.

FYI ~ Betty mentions Her Secret Library which was my original blog, waaaay back in the day, back when I had a whole bunch of people following and commenting on it. Before Wordpress got all wussy and started deleting sex blogs.
Betty Homebanger was a very sexy woman - her blog got deleted too. Dammit!
(all links in this post are dead)

bettyhomebanger posted: " The glorious G of FILLEDANDFOOLED nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!  Which I am so honored to be chosen for, thank you G.  I looked up the definition of inspire (for inspiration), arousal is included as inspiration, so G, is there som"

Recovered post by bettyhomebanger

Need Inspiration? Look No Further.

by bettyhomebanger
The glorious G of FILLEDANDFOOLED nominated me for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award!  Which I am so honored to be chosen for, thank you G.  I looked up the definition of inspire (for inspiration), arousal is included as inspiration, so G, is there something you need to tell me?
Not only does G's blog inspire me, her tits also inspire me to be bigger and better (which would require around $5000, so for now I'll look at her's with envy).
Alrighty, here's what I'll oh so willingly do to accept my award:
I have to agree to state 7 facts about myself and to suggest 15 fellow bloggers who deserve the award too.  Thank G, who gave me the award, post the image of it on my blog, write a post (hello post), and inform the people I'm nominating.
I told a little about myself a few days too soon, here I am having to share again.  It's a good thing I like talking about myself. :D
1.  I like beer.  Good beer, not Bud Light.  Right now my drink of choice is Gin and Tonics, with extra lime.  But it doesn't take away from my taste for delicious full-bodied beers.  I love Guinness (sucking that head...yum), New Belgium SnowDay, Bell's Two Hearted Ale Taddy Porter.  IPAs, stouts, porters, good beer.
2.  I haven't had sex with one, but I find uncircumcised penis' very SEXY.  I'm not sure how to suck on one, I guess I would just have to figure it out.  Plus knowing it's more sensitive is exciting.
3.  I had my first orgasm at age 11, watching porn, not touching myself.  I remember thinking, what the hell just happened?  After that I started watching porn after my parents went to bed, and masturbated to my stepdad's Playboys.  Dirty Betty!  (And as seen above I still enjoy doing it!!)
4.  I'm a germaphobe, which makes the lifestyle a little intimidating.  I have to consciously bring myself back to being a rational human on a daily basis.  I've gotten a lot better about it, especially with my kids.  I find hand sanitizer and fellow germaphobes extremely attractive.
5.  I'm cheap, like oh so cheap.  I like nice things but I buy them on sale, always.  I never splurge on clothes, shoes, handbags unless I'm getting them on sale!
6.  I LOVE carbs, it's why my love handles are the round handle grabbing flesh that they are.  I would choose french fries over ice cream, pasta over pie, bread over...anything.
7.  I'm a Harry Potter fan.  Have no fears, I read all the books and memorized watched the movies.  I refused to watch the movies for years because of my love for the books.  I read the first book when I was in 6th grade, gosh that was around the same time I started masturbating - maybe Harry got me all hot and bothered.
For each blog I nominate as part of my acceptance I'll explain where the inspiration comes from, so no one's left pondering such a deep riveting question.
Smarty Pants Erotica  Inspiration: Blog name, and quantity of arousal producing erotica provided.
Off Go The Panties Inspiration: Wittiness, and overall advice given.
Speaking Out on Nate Inspiration: His want to see other bloggers succeed, great motivation/encouragement.
Her Secret Library Inspiration: To delete one's browser history, hehe.  Funny, great erotic photos.
Seattle Poly Chick Inspiration: Honesty, and thought-provoking posts about her lifestyle.
Pervertically Virtuous Inspiration: Adventures, and full acceptance of her sluttiness.
Life of a Lovergirl Inspiration: Honesty, heartfelt.
Swing Lifestyle Blog Inspiration: Point of view, pro-swingerness (I made a new word), great advice.
Kdaddy23 Inspiration: Always thought-provoking.
Naughty Novellas Inspiration: Steamy erotica.
The Wistful Sinner Inspiration: A way with words.
My Sex Life With Lola Inspiration: Adventures, honesty.
Normal Deviations Inspiration: Humorous, thought-provoking.
Cliterary Review Inspiration: Overall reference to pussy, wittiness.
Alice in Wunderland Inspiration: Hot erotic stories with her Dom.
I realize some of you have already been nominated, but I still find you inspiring, so you get it again. :)

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Erotic Author Selena Kitt ~ Babysitting the Baumgartners

click here for an excerpt from the book itself
The internet is an amazing place. I can spend hours online, reading one story or article, which leads to me to another, and then another, and then another... you know how it is. You go down a rabbit hole and hours later you're on a site a million miles aways from the one you started at. Here's one example below - I don't read AVN News but one thing lead to another and I saw a link that mentioned both Selena Kitt and her book Babysitting the Baumgartners. I recognised both - my wife has read many of her short stories on Literotica, including the 'Babysitting...' series which I presume she has expanded into a complete novel. And now it's a porn film!
Anyway, here's an excerpt from this AVN story (click the link for the complete interview):

Dirty, filthy, explicit, taboo, raunchy, perverted, and totally obscene—no, I’m not talking about X-rated movies. I’m talking about books. Nasty, naughty, twisted books that travel far beyond the boundaries of cinematic porn into the vastness of sexual fantasy. Call it whatever you want—romance, erotic-romance, contemporary, new adult, fantasy—it’s smut. Blow your mind, shock your senses, make you sweat and need a cold shower type of smut. 

Writers of the anything-goes genre indulge their creative freedom and write whatever explicit idea comes to mind, often exploiting popular trends to the fullest. Trends like sleeping with your siblings, or with multiple breeds of shifters. How about being impregnated by Big Foot, raptors or dinosaurs? Write it and they will come. This is what authors of romance and erotica live for.

Pornographers ain’t got nothin’ on the totally depraved minds of those who write smut books.
One of the dirtiest minds I’ve met since I started publishing my own erotic books is the illustrious Selena Kitt. She’s a woman who isn’t afraid to celebrate her love of sex and sexuality, and I’m thrilled she let me ask her a few questions.

~ Kay Brandt, AVN

Hi, I’m Selena Kitt - I’ve been writing erotica since 2006 and publishing it since 2008. In that time, I’ve published over thirty novels, and countless anthologies and stories.

I guess I’ve always followed my own path, whatever it might be. I became an erotica author and publisher because I looked around and couldn’t find a home for what I was writing. I knew that there was an audience for the erotica I was writing - even the uber-hot sex-in-every-chapter books and the taboo erotica - I just needed to find it. Unfortunately, erotic romance publishers were drawing the line at the taboo and weren’t interested in stories that didn’t end with a happy ever after, so I had to find my own way. That’s when I decided to just start my own publishing company!

Where do you see the ebook industry in five years?

We’ll all have microchips implanted in our heads and will be able to download books straight to our brains. Ha, I’m just kidding - but five years ago, if someone had predicted that people would be reading books primarily on electronic tablets or their phones, that would have sounded crazy, too. I will predict that ebooks will continue to capture more of the reading market than they currently have - and while print won’t have disappeared, paperbacks and hardcovers will have a much smaller market than they do now. I also think interactive ebooks will be more popular by then.

What’s your favorite porn movie? And why?

I don’t watch porn. Ha, just kidding! Honestly, it’s really too hard to pick just one. It’s like trying to pick a favorite author. Why limit yourself? I have eclectic tastes when it comes to pretty much everything, so picking just one is impossible. However, I will say, for nostalgia’s sake, one of the most influential porn movies I’ve seen has to be Taboo II. Not the first one, which was more a mother/son sort of thing, but the second one, where the whole family got involved. Probably because it was one of the first adult videos I was ever exposed to, and because it appealed to that naughty side of me that’s always been drawn to taboo topics.

If you were a porn star for a day what would be your ideal movie to star in?

Anything that involved a girl-girl-guy threesome! It’s my favorite thing to write and it would be the sort of movie I’d love to take part in. Make a sandwich out of me and I’d be a happy camper!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

TMI Tuesday: March 22, 2016 ~ BatGirl

Hey hey hey…I know what time it is. Time to do TMI Tuesday.
They post on Monday to give me time to write it and then post it on Tuesday.

1. If you died tomorrow, to whom would you leave all your worldly possessions?
~ My fourteen year old daughter.
2. What did you like to play as a child?
~ Batman and Robin. I was Batman.
3. Have you ever gone on a rampant sex spree while depressed?
~ No. Since I was fairly happy in my youth any sex sprees were purely out of joy. It is only after 20+ years of marriage that I have become prone to depression (I honestly have no idea if the two are related) so I can't really go on a sex spree to cheer myself up.
4. Do you mind if your partner wants to have porn videos playing while the two of you are having sex?
~ Interesting, since I alluded to a situation like this here. I would like us to do more with porn together but my wife seems determined to keep her porn to/for herself. Regular readers will know this whole blog of mine was started in part because I needed to get my head around my wife's porn habits (which weren't translating into actual sex with me).

5. What is the sexiest thing you did last week?
~ I had sex with my wife on Saturday, you can read about it here. It was during the day, which makes it extra sexy.
Bonus: You have to give your lover a report card about your last sexual encounter.
– What would they score? A B C D F?
~ I'd give her a B
– What could he/she improve upon?
~ She initiated but then defaulted to me doing all the work, which I didn't accept and made her put a little effort into my needs as well.
– For what would your lover be reprimanded for doing during sex?
~ Hmmmm. She does seem to think that I don't need any foreplay. Actually it's worse in that she almost seems to think I shouldn't need foreplay ie I should be hot and 'ready' for her. I had to ask for it at the weekend (see here). Checking out the 'foreplay' tag below I see I've written about this foreplay problem quite a few times. {sigh}

I really think you should read this column from January 3.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). 
Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, March 21, 2016

Satur-Day Sex

This image is irrelevant to today's post, but it
provides balance for this post - besides, she's beautiful!
In Tuesday's TMI post I mentioned I was looking forward to my wife's family departing - since they were cock blocking me.
Bonus: What are you looking forward to this week?
~ We have had my wife's family over to stay since the weekend, and they won't be leaving until this weekend coming. Great people but I look forward to them heading home since my wife has/is using this as a reason for why we can't have sex.
But even as I typed it I wondered if it was really true, or just another of her excuses. Despite what I mentioned in last Friday's post, my wife hasn't been reading her dirty stories on Literotica for at least a month (unless she using 'hidden browsing' to hide her history) and has shown zero sexual interest in me since the last time we had sex.

So you can imagine my surprise when as soon as her family left after lunch on Saturday she suggested we 'go upstairs'.

It wasn't "let's go up stairs [wink wink]", there was no "let's go up stairs [places her hand on my inner thigh]", it was just a basic, tentative "let's go up stairs" - which after 20+ years of marriage I understand is her way of initiating sex. I knew she wanted it (as opposed to a "let's go up stairs [since I know I should give you some]") because she had been touching me physically the day before. I wondered then if it was an invitation by her for me to initiate something, but I decided not to since I've been fooled by this before. Sometimes she just wants to hold my hand or squeeze my butt.

So we went upstairs and had sex.

It started with...* some kissing, then my hands caressed her body, before my fingers found their way to her pussy. Then she got her vibe out but I wouldn't let her use it until she had gone down on me first, which she did. Then she climbed up and straddled my face and I returned the favour. Then she lay down and I fucked her missionary style, as she ran that vibe over her clit. She came hard, then I flipped her over to pound her doggy style, as she again worked that vibe over her clit and my balls. She came once more, as I flooded her pussy with my cum, which was perfect timing for her apparently.

Afterwards she said it was 'very good' and I agreed. Inwardly I wondered again (since it's a recurring thought) that if she always enjoys sex when we have sex, why aren't we having more sex? It's a question you'd think I should be able to ask out loud, but I don't. It just seems to me to be inappropriate to get into a serious discussion after you've just had great sex. I think it's better she gets to bask in the afterglow of a great orgasm rather than engage in a Q&A about why we aren't having more sex. But then later it always seems churlish to bring the subject up, so I'm stuck.

* I've decided this time to go easy on the description, since I realise that some of my other descriptions about our sex have been too descriptive! I'm not trying to write erotic fiction, honest.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Sammi talks Porn, I respond

On a porn set, getting the light readings right before filming starts
(although most porn these days seems to be shot on handycam, in natural light) 
I tipped you off to what a great sex blogger Sammi was last week, when I exerpted one of her erotic writings. Here's another excerpt from another post, this time non-erotic - unless hearing real women telling you how they love porn turns you on! Actually I suppose there's a kernel of that for me too. Sammi is one of many female sex bloggers that ... er ... um ... how do I articulate this properly?

I'm not a cyber stalker who get's aroused by female sex bloggers (unless they've posted a story that's obviously meant to be erotic) but I do get very... jealous? Is that the right word? Probably not. Shall we say I covet their sexuality, in the sense that I wish my wife was like them. I suffer from that feeling that the grass is always greener on the other side. "Why can't my wife be more like them?" I often ask myself, when I think back to how sexually free my wife used to be - compared to what she is now. How come these other women continued their journey, their pursuit of greater sexual pleasure, their deeper discovery of what they liked and what they didn't - but not my wife?

Was it me? Did I do something wrong at some stage of our 20 year partnership to crush her sexual spirit? In my own mind I believe I was open, honest, and keen to explore with her - but is it possible I've done something to contribute to extinguishing her libido? But then again, as I've noted already in this blog, she does still have a libido. She loves her dirty stories, and I presume the self pleasuring that goes along with it (god forbid she's having affairs), she just doesn't want sex with me.

Anyway, here's what Sammi said about Porn back in January, with me adding my 2¢ worth after...
I love porn. The first time I really watched it was in college, when you usually had to go to the video store’s back room to pick out a title. It could be a bit intimidating at times. I remember Video USA’s room was small, and it wasn’t too obvious when you’d go back to browse the walls of VHS boxes, 90% of them with Ginger Lynn’s face on the cover. Tristate Video was the worst – the porn was sectioned off and had a door that creaked like crazy when you’d open it, announcing to the entire store that you were going to be watching people fucking that night. There’d always be some guy in there, too, who would leave as soon as he saw a woman walk in...
Ah yes, the creaky swing door. They all seemed to have them - I heard it was to stop the perves thinking they could sneak in there unnoticed and do creepy things. Y'know, like jacking off - ewww! Sammi must be a generation behind me, because my wife would never be caught dead in the porno section of a video store. Getting her to watch one was a mission too - she hated them and said they were gross. And yet decades later she's reading about white women being gangraped by well hung black men, and turning into cock crazy sluts who take it up the ass and love it. My how times change.
Porn is, of course, all over the internet, and I like to watch it online. The variety is amazing, and you can find what you want to watch a lot easier than at the video store. There’s often a lot of crap to sift through, and sometimes I’ve found it worthwhile to pay for membership. I don’t only watch online, though – I do a lot of DVD reviews so I get to see a lot on that media. I think with online porn I’ve got a better chance of watching what I want to see – DVDs can often be a real crapshoot.
To be honest I don't watch any DVD's anymore at all, for me it's all online porn now. A few years back when my wife was going through her 'I'll give it all a try' phase (this was when we saw a therapist about reigniting her libido) we watched some porn together one night. Knowing her erotic reading tastes I pulled up some 'Interracial' clips on YouPorn and we streamed those on our Big Screen TV via my iPad. Although she claimed to not like them much she did get aroused and blew me on the sofa, before mounting me reverse cowgirl style so she could ride me while she watched two black studs double team a big breasted blonde woman in all her holes. That video must have ticked all the boxes for my wife, based on her erotic reading choices, but it (watching porn together) never happened again*.
I watch porn quite a bit. Sexually, I’m a visual and aural person, and watching porn can be a real turn-on to masturbation or sex (I do love to read erotica, but it’s not the same). Not all porn turns me on – I prefer gangbangs and blowbangs, bondage, and a few other things, but I rarely watch women on women porn, or porn with a plot (I’ve never seen the point, as I fast forward to the action). I like to see and hear women who are really into the action in their scenes, and men who are equally enthusiastic.
Ditto Sammi, but of course since I'm a guy I love girl on girl action. But when it comes to plot I also either fast forward, or find a shorter clip to watch! I also love anal (but not that gape stuff) because it is the final taboo, right? I also like to hear enthusiastic women, but I'm turned off when they cross the line into that fake porno squealing that so many actresses fall back on. The best pornos are always the ones where you really believe they're having a decent fuck. Sure, we all know they're performing for the camera but some are better at hiding it than others. (Just like regular actors in regular films)
I think I get ideas from porn, although there’s a lot of things I watch in porn I doubt I’ll ever do...
If you want learn more about what Sammi thinks about porn then you can find the full complete text here, on her blog. As I said before, she's very insightful and a sex blogger well worth checking out.

*actually, it did happen one other time, with same results. She got aroused and we had lusty sex but later she claimed it didn't turn her on and she doesn't like porn. FYI - My wife does not consider the dirty stories she reads on Literotica to be porn. She says that's erotic fiction, not porn. 

Thursday, March 17, 2016

St Patrick's Day - Something for the Guys!

In my previous post I figured I'd offer up something for straight female readers, and gay men
(St Patrick's Day - Something for the Ladies!)

This of course now allows me to post these pictures, for 'balance':

What your Irish barmaid looks like, in your dreams

What you imagine your Irish barmaid will look like,
as you head out to a bar on St Patrick's Day

What your 'Irish' barmaid will probably look like, 
at any US bar on St Patrick's Day

What an Irish barmaid really looks like, 
at any bar in Ireland on St Patrick's Day - or any other day!

Don't get me wrong - there are plenty of hot Irish women out there (and I just melt when they talk - I love their accents!) but this is what the barmaids looked like when I visited!

St Patrick's Day - Something for the Ladies!

Since the Internet today will be full of images of busty Irish babes serving green pints (or holding a four leaf clover over their naughty bits and 'Wishing You All The Luck O' The Irish') I figured I'd balance the scales a little and offer up something for straight female readers, and gay men
And don't worry if these pics are not your thing, the sexy Irish babes serving green pints are in my next post, coming up about an hour from now.
(St Patrick's Day - Something for the Guys!)

Possibly the most shared 'Irish Hunk' image on the Internet?

Not all Irish have ginger hair, but this guy is more 'Irish' than the one above!

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

My wife prefers the flattened tongue

I used to have a blog on Wordpress that got terminated due to pornographic content. Here's one of those posts... 
(NB: the links are all dead so don't bother clicking)

Nero posted: " Okay, if I tried this my wife would probably kick me in the head. She can be very sensitive and doesn't like the direct attention for too long. So, dear reader, how is it for you? How much tongue can you/your partner take? What is the prefered tech"

recovered post on Her Secret Library

My wife prefers the flattened tongue

by Nero
This is not the original photo
Okay, if I tried this my wife would probably kick me in the head.
She can be very sensitive and doesn't like the direct 'pinpoint' attention on her clit for too long. She much prefers a flattened tongue.
So, dear reader, how is it for you?
How much tongue can you/your partner take? What is the prefered technique? (I wanted to link to a blogpost that said "don't lick it like an ice cream" but I lost it)
Nero | January 10, 2014 at 12:30 pm | Tags: clit, lick, Oral 

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

TMI Tuesday: March 15, 2015 ~ Tuesday, just Tuesday

Hey there! Another week, another TMI Tuesday posted...
'It's okay sweetie - Daddy is just checking Mommy's ingrown hair'

1. Have you ever been having sex so loud that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?
~ No - and I'm not sure if I would enjoy sex that loud! On the flipside, I would never 'hold back' either - I'm not afraid of getting vocal. When I was younger I did sometimes need to find a way to 'muffle' the woman I was with, so I guess we did make a lot of noise!

2. Ever had kids or parents bust in on you in the middle of full on sex?
~ Only once have we been busted, but I don't think our daughter realised what we were doing - there was a sheet pulled up very quickly. If she did then she hid her reaction very well - she was about 10 . Once when she was 8 my wife and I had sex in a hotel room while our daughter was also sleeping in the room. It was about 5am and my wife decided she wanted to have sex (I know - this whole blog is about how we don't have sex - go figure!) so she initiated*. Once we got going she was riding me cow girl style, hard, and we could easily have been caught if our daughter had woken up.
(* that must have been one sexy dream she'd been having, amiright?)

3. Have you ever licked or sucked on someone else’s feet and/or toes? Was it your request or theirs?
~ I think I did it once to my wife, playfully, but she did not like it. She said it was creepy. It was my idea, obviously, since she never requests anything. (Answer to #2 above notwithstanding)

4. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner

~ I don't 'love' it per se, because it's quite nerve wracking, but I try to be novel all the same. This is because I am of the opinion that my wife does not respond anymore unless it's new or different. If I can't be novel I try to surprise her (with the timing) instead. Hit the tag 'non-specific arousability' below for a more fuller explanation. In this post I discuss her 'need for novelty/diversity' and in this post I discuss it again, but in greater detail. 
d. Keep it simple–missionary, lube, sleep.
~ Shouldn't that be lube first? Haha.

5. Speaking of lube–what is your favorite lube for sex and why?
~ It's whatever my wife buys. She usually only brings it out when she brings out the sex toys, not when 'we' have sex. Does this make sense? (Not to me, as I read it now).

Bonus: What are you looking forward to this week?
~ We have had my wife's family over to stay since the weekend, and they won't be leaving until this weekend coming. Great people but I look forward to them heading home since my wife has/is using this as a reason for why we can't have sex.

Bonus Bonus:
~ I've just remembered another episode in relation to #2 above! I was going down on my wife in our bedroom, in the middle of the afternoon, and our daughter walked in. (She was supposed to be downstairs, and my wife was supposed to be listening out, because god knows I couldn't hear a thing with my wife's thighs clamped around my head). There was only enough time for me to jerk my head up and pull my wife's nightie down - we're talking a split second - before our daughter was actually in the room. "What are you doing?" she asked, perplexed. Without skipping a beat I answered "Mommy said she had an ingrown hair that she wanted to me to look at - so pulled it out". Again, we have no idea what our daughter really thought was going on but she seemed to accept it.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). 
Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Ashley Graham is Red Hot

Ashley Graham is Red Hot, and whether she's 'Plus Size' or not doesn't change that. I think she has a great bod and I'd rather have sex with a woman like her than any of those skinny Size 0 models you only see on catwalk runways. Seriously, I want a real woman - a woman with curves in all the right places and Ashley Graham fits the bill!

So ladies, if you worry about being/getting 'fat' then stop it right now. There are plenty of men out there who really really like women with a fuller figure. If you have a fun lovin' spirit it doesn't matter one bit how 'big' your body is, guys will find you sexy regardless. If Sports Illustrated can make Ashley Graham a swimsuit model then I think the tide is turning on that anorexic-model-BS that the media have been running for too long.

Here's Ashley Graham as she looked at the Vanity Fair party on Oscar night... Red Hot!

Friday, March 11, 2016

Ménage à Trois

This story got me excited...
I stand naked on a bearskin rug in front of the fireplace, my nipples hard and aroused, my blonde hair hanging freely down my back. Two naked men stand on either side of me, their eyes drinking in my form.

I smile at their cocks, hard and at attention. I grasp one in each hand and slowly stroke them, and they begin to touch me, making me wet. John kisses me first, his tongue thrusting into my mouth as his hands find my breasts. James is nibbling on my ear and breathing hard, and his breath sends a shiver down my spine. He traces his fingers over my stomach, and I part my legs to allow him access. His fingers tickle my clit and I moan into John’s mouth as I feel two fingers slip inside me. I spread my legs further, and James works his fingers faster. John pinches my nipples, and then I feel his hand move down my body, squeezing my ass. 
I feel James’ hands on my ass, and then his lubed finger tracing circles around my anus. He gently inserts it as I relax, wanting more. John pulls me close, and I feel the head of James’ cock pressing against me. He enters me slowly, and I gasp. He’s deep inside my ass, and then my men begin to thrust together, impaling me, their hands roaming over my body as...

If you want more you can find the complete story here, as written by Sammi. She's a great sex blogger, check her out.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Madness Ends ~ Part 2

(continued from Part One yesterday) ... I gave her a moment to her self as I disrobed and walked to my side of the bed, and lay down beside her.

I lay on my back and she crawled between my legs and grabbed my cock. It was hard already and quite stiff. She knew this too, because after 'weighing' it momentarily she decided I was hard enough and immediately wrapped her mouth around it. In one fell swoop she swallowed me whole, deep throating me, before pulling back just as fast. My cock popped out of her mouth and she placed both hands beside my thighs, before bobbing down again to swallow me once more.

She was using the 'hands free' technique - my cock was so hard it jutted up and out so she didn't need to hold it - she just needed a mouth and a tongue and she wielded those like a pro. She alternated between soft delicate licks around my head and shaft, before taking me into her soft wet mouth and sucking deeply. I moaned my appreciation, and told her great she felt. She grabbed my cock and rubbed it over her breasts, before pulling back and going 'hand free' again. She rubbed her tits all over my cock, matching it's hardness with her own stiff nipples which brushed roughly over my cock and balls.

It felt great.

She returned her mouth to my cock and sucked me down her throat. I was ready to cum now so I grabbed her head and started pushing her down hard my cock. Not hard enough to make her gag, but firmly enough to let her know I was ready. Using both I hands I started face fucking her, and she gave back as good as he got. I could feel my balls were ready to explode, so I warned her: "do you want me to come in your mouth? Because I'm ready to make a big sticky mess; it's been so long, I'm ready to cum and I'm going to cum buckets. So if you want to ride this cock you better do it now, cos I'm gonna explode..."

She lifted her head, removing her mouth from my fat cock but replacing it with her hand, gripping it tightly. I could actually see the cogs turning in her brain as she decided what she wanted to happen next.

Without a word she twisted around and slung herself into the reverse cowgirl position. Still holding my cock she squatted down and sank the full length in one easy movement. Then she started bouncing up and down, ramming her self back onto my cock. I was really really ready to cum and worried it would be over too quickly. "Why don't you get your vibe?" I suggested, "I want you to come hard, on my cock"

She paused, sitting up, and even though her back was to me I could tell she was thinking. Once again those cogs were whirring: do I stay here on this nice fat cock or do I get up? It was a no brainer - she'd come once already when I ate her out (see Part One) but she wasn't going to say no to seconds. She knew I was close so she wasn't going to miss out on another orgasm just because I popped first. She got up and grabbed a vibe from her nightstand.

It didn't work, it was flat.

"The other one is in the bathroom, on my side, behind the mirror" I said "I charged it up for you. Someone has to, you never do". The latter was said with a hint of snark, because it pissed me off, but she missed it. She returned quickly, and mounted me again, reverse cowgirl. I lay back, spread my legs wider, and let impale her self on me. She thrust backwards and forwards, humping my cock as she ran that vibe deep within her cleft. I could feel the vibrations on my balls.

This continued for a few minutes, with my wife moaning throughout.

I was definitely ready to cum now, so slapped her butt and removed my cock. Climbing out from behind her I switched into the doggy position, grabbed her hips, and slowly drove my throbbing dick into her pussy. She was tight and wet, and she groaned as every inch slid inside her. Taking charge I started pounding her hard, keeping a steady pace, but going in deep. Her head was down and she continued to work that vibe on her clit. I smacked her butt a few times but it just seemed to be interrupting my rhythm so I grabbed both hips with both hands instead and began thrusting deeper.

Her asshole was winking at me so I licked my thumb and pressed it down on her rosebud.

"God, I'm going to cum again" moaned my wife, into the mattress "come with me"

Her words were redundant since I was coming already, and she felt it as soon as she said it.

"Oh, yesssss" she said, as her I flooded her cunt with my seed, filling her completely. I could feel her pussy pulsing on my cock as she came too, and her asshole clamped around my thumb. I held her tight until she'd stopped and then I released her. She slumped forward, collapsing onto the mattress and throwing the vibe to the floor, she was done. Well and truly fucked, and she loved it.

I was happy too, but still perplexed.

If she enjoyed sex so much why weren't we doing it more often? Why would you willingly turn down all that pleasure? WTF was going on with her? Yes, the sex was great, and I was happy, but the questions lingered. We still needed to have a conversation, a big conversation...

But now was not the time.