Sunday, April 24, 2016

A Question About Sex Toys...

A question about sex toys... or more correctly: sex toys for men...

I think it's fair to say that in this modern world we are all familiar with sex toys. About half of American women now use a vibrator (source) and that growth in demand has seen a rise in the number of upmarket 'women friendly' sex shops (as opposed to the seedy ones of the 70s) and an explosion of online sales. And with that has come a commensurate increase in the number of media stories about empowered, modern women entering the sex toy business.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's great too. I am all in favor of women getting in touch with their sexuality - I love sex and I want the women I'm having sex with to love it too.

But of course much of the time women are using the toys for solo pleasure, and that's where I start to get a teeny bit jealous. Society says it's okay for women to use mechanical aids to help them achieve orgasm, indeed we have a whole bunch of stores (both retail bricks & mortar, and online) to help them find what they're looking for, but what is there for men? Sorry buddy, you're out of luck,

"But wait Nero, there's a whole bunch of stuff for men in sex shops!"

Yeah, sure there is. They're mostly blow up cheap plastic dolls that once you remove them from the box you realise you've been had, or fake silicon vaginas (or ass) that are so realistic (not) your dick actually wilts when you remove it from the packaging. Yes, the box usually features a Pornstar on the cover, and it might even claim to be a mould of their actual pussy, but no, it's not the same. Nowhere near it. Women on the other hand can get a dildo moulded from an actual Pornstars dick and it will work as intended.

From what I've read online the only thing that really works for men is the Fleshlight (or similar). Since I've never bought one I can't tell you if it does work or not, but there are many who swear by it. But that is ALL you can buy - which does not seem fair given the multitude of different devices women can use to get off.  Dildos, Vibes, Bullets, G-Spot Massagers, and even a ride-on mower Sybian.

Given that it is men who are all supposed to be sex obsessed, and reputedly all start pulling on their dicks as soon as they can form a grip, why is there no billion dollar sex toy industry for men - like there is for women? I suppose one could argue that the billion dollar porn industry itself is the sex toy men use most often - we don't need a mechanical aid as long as we've got something to look at as we pull our cocks - but surely in the enlightened modern world we now live in there should be more on offer, right?

There seems to be a double standard of sorts - it's okay for a women to use sex toys but if a guy does too then there must be something wrong with him. If a woman can't orgasm with her partner the perceived wisdom is that she should try a sex toy, but if a man has the same problem then he's shit out of luck. He should either take a blue pill or man up and admit to his wife he's been cheating because why else can't he do it?

Okay, I'm over reaching a bit there. What I mean is, if a women hears another women saying she can't climax the most likely advice is 'Get a vibrator' (heck, some women are even sharing them with friends). But if the same women says 'My man doesn't cum when we have sex' the most likely response is "is he cheating on you? maybe he's jerking off to internet porn? does he need viagra?"

I'm not sure at all where I'm going with this (most of my blogs are stream-of-conscious rants, if you hadn't already figured that out) I guess I'm just so dis-satisfied with my sex life I'm contemplating sex toys - only to find there isn't much on offer for men. I'd rather have sex with my wife, but since that aint happening as often as I'd like I'm resigned to settling for more solo time. But even that isn't satisfying anymore. The porn is getting boring, and jerking myself off is just making me feel depressed.

UPDATE: I checked out various  Fleshlight online but none of the videos show you how it's used.

UPDATE #2: Unless you check out these clips on PornHub. Call me stupid, but I was surprised to discover you still need to jack the Fleshlight up and down your dick. It has no independent movement, you have to do 'all the work'. That would be like if no-one had invented the vibrator and all women could use to get off with was a dildo. I'm sure many of them would say "well, I might as well just fuck a cock then?".

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