Monday, April 25, 2016

From Erotic To Romantic

Kindle Romance Selection #1
Regular readers will know my wife used to read a lot of erotic fiction, either on her Kindle or online via Literotica.com, and it's the reason for this blog. I couldn't get my head around some of the stuff she was reading - it was so dirty - and yet it wasn't carrying over into our bedroom.

I didn't worry too much since it meant that when my wife was reading her dirty stories I was at least getting laid - which is the other reason for this blog: getting my head around our waning sex life. Our frequency is once or twice a month now and I'm lucky if half that is penetrative since my wife seems to prefer it without. She claims the friction gives her infections which doesn't sound good for me - I hope it's that and not that she caught something sleeping with someone else.

Anyway, she's just bought (via mail order, because buying via the drug store would be too embarrassing - WTF?) two tubes of KY so as soon as her period is over she says she will trial that. Of course it's been over a week since her period started but I mustn't quibble, it'll be any day now I'm sure. I'm sure because today she bought not one but three new dirty books for her Kindle. I know because she suddenly disappeared to her room and read her iPad all day.

Kindle Romance Selection #2
Based on past behaviour I know when she does that she's bought erotica, which is a forerunner to her
wanting sex with me. So I checked her email and saw ~yes!~ the order confirmations from Amazon.

Then I looked up the titles she bought and I sighed.

They're not 'Erotica' they're 'Romance'. You know, the light stuff. The books where the sex happens not every chapter, like in 'Erotic' titles, but every six chapters and usually towards the end. That's what 'Romance' titles are like, dead boring!

What am I to make of this new development? Can I kiss my sex life goodbye completely now? I recall a famous quote from celebrated English romance writer Barbara Cartland, who when asked if she was as racey as the heroine's in her books replied "personally I'd much rather go to bed with a good book and have a nice cup of tea".

Hardly inspiring is it? I hope my wife doesn't follow suit (she's started drinking herbal teas), I'll keep you posted.

(Click here for an example of her last 'Erotic' Kindle purchases)

Kindle Romance Selection #3

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About that sex last weekend...