Saturday, April 16, 2016

Jealousy as an Aphrodisiac?

I had sex with my wife on Friday night.

That's not normal - so why did I get lucky this time?

Two things happened, both similar, that combined to make my wife desire me.

Maybe desire isn't the right word - maybe she was just metaphorically marking her territory.

Whatever she was doing, it didn't matter - we had sex! It went down something like this:

I took her out to a bar on Friday night because a guy I knew was having a party in their private room. They were all younger (than us), the DJ was good, and the drinks were flowing. We had a good time, chatting to new people, dancing a little, and drinking wine. After about three hours we decided to head home. As we got to the door (of the private room) my wife decided she had to tell the DJ (one of three that night) how good he was.

This is so typical of my wife - whenever we leave a place it takes 20+ minutes because she has to say goodbye to everyone she spoke with that night. It's damned annoying, especially since most of them are new people she'd only just met that night. But that's how she rolls.

So I'm kinda just standing there as she suddenly starts talking to one of the DJ's by the exit - and he's keen to keep her talking because he's a guy and when a hot woman talks to you... Let's just say this is not the first time she's done this, and it's not the first time I've had to stand there watching a guy chat up my wife while he takes sidelong glances at me to see what sort of man does nothing when another man chats up his wife. (What he doesn't know - and they never do - is that I know she's going home with me and has no interest in going home with him, and the second he tries anything serious I'm there like a shot and it's over)

So as I'm standing there and this woman comes up and starts talking to me. She's a hot hipster chick, with ink down one arm, and she gets in real close and starts talking to me like we're old lovers. I'd actually noticed her several times during the party but had never spoken to her - I had this nagging feeling I knew her from somewhere. And now she was talking to me! It was hilarious, because now my wife was noticing me talking to a strange woman, and she couldn't do anything about it because she talks to strangers (men and women, but usually men) at parties all the time.

The woman I'm talking to is really vibing off me, which is fun, but I know she's drunk and if she were sober she may have realised how much older than her I was. My wife finishes her conversation with the DJ and leaves. She gets about 10 feet down the hall and turns to see that I'm still talking to this woman. Or rather the woman is still talking to me - I honestly can't get a word in to let her know I have to go. My wife gets her phone out and takes a photo of me and the girl, but pretends she's taking a photo of the private room.

I finally tell the woman I have to go because my wife is waiting for me, and point to her when asked "where?"  So Tipsy Drunk Inked Girl shrieks "Oh.My.God!" and rushes out to tell my wife what a cool guy I am. Yes, in those few short minutes we'd chatted I had managed to listen to her, let her tell me her problems, commiserate and give her sage advice, and flatter her by telling her she looked younger than she really was. She then told my wife what a lucky woman she was to have a man like me, yadda yadda yadda. This of course flicked a switch in my wife who lit up like a Xmas tree because just as women like to be complimented by other women about their choice of shoes, boots and handbags, so too do they love hearing they picked a good man.

They ended up hugging and kissing, and if I was more inebriated I might have imagined a 3way was possible. Not that it would have been, but when you're drunk and male you think all things sexual are 98% likely to happen. And since I was sober I instead grabbed my wife and we drove home. My wife was slightly buzzed, but now buzzing for a different reason: another woman wanted me. And that's when the second thing happened.

On the ride home she started telling me about how she was sure a friend of hers was wanting to sleep with me, because she was always going on about what a great guy I was. And how lucky she (my wife) was to have me. And ditto for another friend of hers, who also thought she (my wife) was lucky to have a man like me.

"But I don't think she wants to sleep with you" said my wife, "or... maybe she does too!" My wife clapped her hand on my thigh, and finished with "but she can't have you, none of them can - only me"

It was at this point I realised my wife was drunker than I thought. Not super drunk, just tipsy and now slightly aggressive. And possessive.

When we got home we climbed into bed and I initiated: pulling her tight and hugging her closely as I fondled her butt. I may have initiated but all I really did was light the touch paper - she was the one who went off like a firecracker.

It certainly wasn't our usual Friday night.

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