Tuesday, April 26, 2016

TMI Tuesday – April 26, 2016 ~ Significant others, lovers, and such

Hey, hey, hey. TMI Tuesday fun is here again. Answer the questions below and post on [this] blog on Tuesday.

They look happy, but he seems older, so it may not last - she'll tire of him

1. Make three true “we” statements about you and your significant other.
a] Our roles have reversed completely since we met. I am no longer the dominant dynamic individual, she is no longer the submissive one who hung on my every word and accepted my lead.
b] We have different ideas about parenting.
c] We probably haven't left eachother (whereas other couples might have in similar circumstances) because we are both not quitters - as in: neither of us want to be considered a marriage failure ie divorced!

2. What is important for your lover to know?
~ As smart as my wife is about other people she is clueless about me. She tells me she has high EQ and yet she has never figured out what makes me tick. I've come to realise it's because she takes me/our relationship for granted. She needs to understand that there are two of us in this relationship and she can't have it all her way every time (see #6 below). I have my needs too.
~ I know it's wrong but I suffer from low self esteem because my wife has no sexual desire for me. Her libido is zero, unless outside stimulus is at play (hormones, a dirty book, meeting other men). My head is in an endless loop: if she loves me why doesn't she want to fuck me? is my stomach too big or my dick too small? if she loved me it shouldn't matter? why doesn't she want to fuck me? is she getting it from someone else? is it because my stomach too big or my dick too small? if she loves me why doesn't she want to fuck me? etc etc. (Yes, I know I sound like a whiney bitch - trust me, I don't articulate these thoughts)

3. What is important for you to know about your lover?
~ My wife is a narcissist and constantly needs new stimulus. I have to let her meet these new people and be the center of their attention. She revels in their attention, especially from men, and I need to accept it and let her do her thing*  My wife wants to be the central cog in the lives of everyone around her, and she will cultivate these relationships and think of herself as the puppetmaster in their lives.

4. Tell us two things that can make your sex life hotter?
~ More frequent sex
~ [She should] accept that I get her off and not have 'lovers remorse' because I'm not young or athletic (like in her stories).

5. Which have you said to your significant other in the last 48 hours (you can pick more that one):
a. I appreciate you
b. I love you
c. I am mad at you (or something similar)
d. You hurt my feelings.
e. Let’s fuck!
~ Okay, call the therapist because my answer is [f] none of the above. Not in the last 48 hours at least, although I have said [b] and [a] (or similar) within the last week. Why we need the therapist is because I don't/won't/can't say [c] [d] or [e] even though I have felt all those things this past week (at some stage). When you've been married as long as we have you do eventually give up on saying how you feel (if it's negative) because it's just not worth the bother/drama (because nothing changes, and she just gets mad and turns it back on me and make sit my fault).

6. Thinking of your current significant other or lover, are they?

a. Good enough until something better comes along.
b. Just what you need but some tweaking, and refining would make him/her a great fit.
c. The person of your dreams, a keeper.
~ Ha! I've felt all of the above at some stage of the relationship, but after 20+ years of marriage it looks like we aint going anywhere. Which is what men always think, isn't it? And then the wife ups and leaves once the kids have left the house, telling the husband "I just can't bear another 20 years with you - I want to live my own life." Which would be funny in my wife's case since I already give her a lot of freedom. As she says about herself now: "I just do whatever I want, when I want".

Bonus: Of all the people in your family, whose death would affect you most? Why?
My daughter, naturally. If my wife died I would be tremendously upset, but if my daughter died I would be bereft. Inconsolable. I feel nauseous now, just imagining it.

*Bonus Bonus - Further to [3] above, please don't be confused by my statement "She revels in their attention, especially from men, and I need to accept it and let her do her thing". I would not entertain the idea of her having 'affairs' and if I discover she is I will leave her. Given her refusal to have sex with me more than once or twice a month - nor let me masturbate - I would consider that a complete betrayal. All I mean is that I need to let her be the Queen of Her Universe, which includes letting other men flirt with her.

Triple Bonus: check out yesterday's post (From Erotic To Romantic) and try psychonalyzing my wife's book choices. (Leave a comment there on what you think it all means).

Tomorrow's Post: Running Into People You Know While Stripping
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). 
Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

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About that sex last weekend...