Friday, April 8, 2016

Why (Some) Women Watch Porn

the two sides of Aurora Snow

Adult-film actress Aurora Snow is a regular contributor to The Daily Beast and I recently stumbled upon one of her older columns, from 2013. She has a great writing style, and although she's obviously a cheerleader for the industry, she gives a good insight as to how things look from her perspective. And when your business is making porn you quickly learn who your audience really is. In Snow's case she recognised that some of her audience was female, straight females even, and made an effort to find out more about what brings the girls to the yard.

As I mentioned in this earlier post, my wife doesn't like to watch porn but on the rare occasion she does she seems to respond greatly. Maybe that's why she doesn't like to watch it? Maybe she knows if she does she might lose control and do all manner of naughty things? {Wistful Sigh} The other crazy thing about my wife is that she doesn't accept that the dirty (filthy!) stories she reads on Literotica are porn. She considers those to be erotic fiction, and in a different class to porn videos.

Anyway, here is some of what Snow has to say, with my responses attached. For the full article by Snow click here.
When I entered porn at the tender age of 18, I’d never seen an XXX movie. I performed in the movies, but never watched them. It wasn’t until I began directing that I started to watch porn, studying it and seeing what sold well and what I should aim for when making my own X-rated movies. But there was a disconnect: I’d assumed that watching porn was something only men did. I couldn’t even imagine women watching. Women craved more romance than that, didn’t they? A decade later, women who watch porn are still something of a mystery to me. So I reached out to my female fans with questions. Why do women watch me?
Well, because you're a hottie Ms Snow! And you seem to enjoy what you do. I'm with my wife on this one: if the situation and/or the actors look fake it's a real buzz kill. Bad boob jobs and fake squealing are a no no in couples porn IMO. And Mae agrees:
Mae tells me it’s the first adult website she’s ever joined. What matters most to Mae is a performer’s enthusiasm. It has to be someone who looks genuine, which is how she came to be a loyal fan of mine. Adult movies transport Mae—she imagines herself and the person she loves acting out those scenes. It both fulfils and creates fantasies, which in turn lead to a more intimate experience with her partner. Mae wishes she were as free as the porn stars. “No inhibitions, that body confidence—I envy it,” she says. Though she was raised to believe that porn was wrong, she now finds it relaxing and educational.
Why can't my wife be more like Mae? {ha ha} As I mentioned here, my wife did respond to the visual stimulus of porn - and yet later said she didn't like it and doesn't enjoy watching it. What am I meant to do? When a woman says 'no' you stop - you don't argue the point and say 'I know you love it really' - at least not in my book. And that is the ongoing 'problem' with my wife: she clearly has a highly sexual side to her (some might call it 'dark') and yet she consistently refuses to acknowledge it - either to me or herself, I suspect. It's almost like she wants to keep that hidden, a secret, a pleasure reserved only for herself, privately.
Katrina says she watches adult movies for the same reasons men do. She says her porn consumption has “gone down” since getting into a relationship. Adult movies helped boost her low libido. Porn makes her feel sexier. She sought out my movies, because she was looking for a girl who seemed real, and she could pretend to be the girl onscreen. I’d been sold as “the girl next door,” but this gave that image a new meaning. Sometimes just talking about porn stimulates her partner more than watching it, and occasionally they use it to heighten the intensity of a moment. Many of my fans feel the same way.
To be honest, that was why I made an effort to get my wife to watch porn with me a few years ago. Her libido seemed non-existent, we weren't having sex, and yet I knew she was reading a lot of erotic fiction. Since she was into interracial sex and non-consent stories I made a point of searching out some titles with those themes and off we went. They weren't great clips, cheesy in fact, but there was a visceral response from her and we ended up having sex as the porn played on screen.
Maggie is one of my Twitter followers who does not watch my movies. While she has no moral objection to porn, she has very little interest in it. Maggie is looking for a good story, and most of the high-end adult companies with a budget for these kinds of movies use girls she can’t relate to. “The most unappealing thing about porn is the women,” she says. “Fake hair, fake boobs, fake moans? No thanks! How can I put myself in her place if I don’t like her?” Erotic fiction does more for her imagination than being fed an image that isn’t as sexy as what she can conjure up in her own mind. And porn can be misleading: the camera angles are often designed to show something that looks good, but doesn’t always feel great in reality. 
I've discussed this previously too, but can't find the link. It's often easier to immerse yourself in a book than it is in a movie. That's why some people hate the movie of their favorite book - he/she looks nothing like how they imagined the central character, etc. I think when my wife reads dirty stories she can get lost in them, imagining the guy raping you (I told you, my wife loves the non-consent stories) as some guy you'd willingly submit to - whereas with porn all you see is some creepy rapist you'd gladly have arrested. 

I do think erotic fiction is just as bad as porn videos at portraying stuff that looks hot but in real life is a bust. And I wonder if that's why our sex life has dwindled? She's learnt that what looks so hot on the page doesn't always translate so well to the bedroom. In her stories the women all end up loving anal, or having their asses smacked, or a cock rammed down their throat until they choke - but when I do it... not so much. Which invariably leads to the subconscious thought: maybe he's not doing it right? Maybe if my husband was a better lover he'd make me cum, multiple times, like the women do in these stories?

Snow has plenty more to say, so check out the full piece here. I'll leave you with her closing advice:
One of my fans said, “Just as I need to be in the mood to have sex, I have to be in the mood to watch it.” [So] keep in mind, the two sexes are different. Men are like microwaves, instantly turned on. Women are more like ovens—we take our time heating up.

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