Wednesday, May 11, 2016

"I don't want a Sensitive Man"

Wives know what they want, if they had the chance
"I don't want a Sensitive Man" said my wife during our dinner party (we had three couples over) on Saturday night. (See here for Friday nights fun, when I went out with just the husbands).

She'd been asked the question by one of the husbands at the table, moments after my wife had volunteered... [wait for it] ... "Nero is a sensitive man".

My wife, who believes she has a high EQ (and she does, to be fair - unless it applies to me!) was completely oblivious to what she had just said. Moments after telling the table that I was a sensitive man who thought and cared deeply about things, my wife is subsequently asked what her ideal man was, and would she want a Sensitive Man? To which my wife replies "Ew, no, I can't stand them"

She then tried to qualify it by defining a Sensitive Man as one of those wimpy guys who tries to act all Zen when he talks to you, and tries to appear feminist/cares about Global Issues, and yet is a complete fake because all he wants is to get laid. (Does she mean this guy?) The follow up question was "Then what is your ideal man?" which had all the wives at the table looking at each other conspiratorially before my wife spoke up and described him.

She basically described most of the guys she hangs out with in the Business Networking Group (BNG) who you'll often hear me complaining about in this blog. A Man's Man, someone who Knows What He Wants (and presumably Takes It), a Dynamic Individual,  a Guy Who Can Look After Himself (which I presume means 'works out').  She basically described one guy to a T, which was interesting because he's 58 and his 28 year old girlfriend has just given birth to their first child. He also has two previous wives and four other children, including a daughter older than his current partner. Is that really the man my wife wants?

Due to the fast and free flowing nature of the dinner party conversation I don't think anyone at the table realised my wife had just effectively dissed me before going on to describe someone who wasn't me as her ideal mate. I know my wife was clueless, but I certainly made the connection. It was hard not to.

So that nagging doubt in the back of my head, the one that's been there for quite a while (we've been together 20+ years) has been confirmed. If my wife had a choice she would not pick someone like me again as her partner. Good.To.Know. 


And in case you think I'm being overly sensitive, I did also overhear my wife telling the women a few other things at the table. She said she wanted to do two famous treks in remote parts of the world within the next two years (she named them, but I forgot).

Given that I have a broken bone in one of my feet that is inoperable and therefore prevents me from going on long hikes I can only assume she plans to do this without me. Maybe she'll do it with some of those Dynamic Men in her BNG since they're always trying to get her to go away on 'retreats' in far flung places around the world?

It's further interesting because my wife does not go hiking here at home, and she previously mocked two women who trekked four days to the top of Machu Picchu when they could have (as we did) taken the bus halfway up the mountain and climbed the rest.

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