Monday, May 9, 2016

The Power of Women

A little attention from a woman is everything to a man...
My wife skipped town on Thursday for a 3 day conference. It was about a hundred Dynamic Women* ie all captains of industry, or investors, but all powerful women. They meet and have Learning Sessions and generally confirm that the world would be a better place if they were just allowed to get on and run things.

My wife likes to run things, including my life.

She even organised a 'Boys Night' for me on Friday.

Now that might sound like a good thing but all she really did was encourage the same three husbands we were seeing on Saturday night for dinner at our house (my wife was flying back in from the conference that afternoon) to take me out with them. Never mind that I might have thought "Yay, I finally got some alone time and can watch porn on the Big Screen in our home theater" because despite what happened last weekend I was horny again and knew I wouldn't be getting laid after my wife came home from a 3 day conference with a bunch of empowered women, especially if she then had to cook for eight people for a dinner party that would run until at least 1am + clean up time.

No, I got to go out bar hopping with the same bunch of guys I was going to see again the following night because my wife said so.

Actually, it wasn't a terrible idea and given how things turned out I will do it again! It went down like this:

We were out in the hipster part of town, at some of the cool new bars that not everyone had discovered yet (ie busy, but with the 'right' people). At the table next to ours at the second bar we went to was a Female Recording Star With Global #1 Hits but we resisted the temptation to request a selfie because
  1. She was obviously trying to have private time with her Squad
  2. She was half our age
  3. I was the only one in our group who actually wanted the selfie (hey, I thought it would be fun to text the pic to my wife because she is so FOMO)
Anyway, The Artist eventually left the bar and we thought it would be a good time to move on as well. We chose a small club that had a live hipster band and settled in near the front because everyone else was standing at the back ie there was no room. As we found the last remaining pocket of space at the front we were met by two women who were also making a beeline for the same spot. Because they were hot hipster chicks we naturally yielded to them because sexism.

Then one of the women recognised me. She told the other woman, who then recognised me too. Just to be sure they asked "Aren't you...?"  I responded in the positive and they started gushing. They even did that we're-not-worthy thing from Wayne's World - ha! I didn't know them of course, but they knew me FROM LAST CENTURY which was when I USED TO BE SOMEBODY. It got very odd very fast so I'll paraphrase...

  • My friends kind of moved a few feet away, either because they wanted to lean on the bar or knew I was a married man and didn't want to involve themselves with what was happening.
  • One of the women (J) was very pleased to see me (sure, she was drunk but I'll take it) and was leaning in to me to talk in my ear about 'the old days, when music was #$%ing awesome!'
  • Her friend (A) left to find her boyfriend who was supposed to be meeting them at the club
  • J told me how cool she thought I was and liked all my stuff and how we knew all the same people and had been in the same scene yet had never got to know each other 'back then'
  • I recognised her from 'the scene' back then, which I told her. What I didn't tell her (because I may have been a little buzzed but I wasn't stupid) was that back then I had figured her to be 'out of my league'. She was a part time model then and 10 years younger than me!
  • Her friend A turned up again and said (I kid you not) "we're all out the back..." [in another room] "...you should come, there's so many hot guys there". And then she looked me directly in the eye and said "I am sooo wet right now - maybe it's because I haven't masturbated yet today - but I really need to get laid. You should come out the back..." And then she left.
  • J told me how cool I was for the way I reacted when A dropped that bomb (ha! all I'd said was "that sounds cool") to which I responded "She's like me, a provocateur, she just likes to get a reaction - that's all" 
  • After the band finished the next song J said to me "I'm gonna go find A - wanna come with?" to which I said "sure" and we left. I didn't even look for my friends.

We went out the back, where a DJ was spinning some true old school classics from the 80s and 90s. J and I danced for a bit, and kept talking. About the old days of course, and how I used to spin these very same tunes the hipsters thought were so cool now. J admitted she was 45 (so not exactly 10 years younger then) which surprised me greatly because I would have placed her at late 30s easily. Genetics had been very good to her, she looked young and had a figure to match. When she hugged me I hugged her back (but carefully, I'm married) and noted how petite she was. Her friend A was popping her booty like a pro (right in front of me, like I said: a provocateur) so I asked J if she was a dancer. "No, she broke up with her husband last year, so she's kinda created a whole new life for herself now. I really admire her"

The conversation with J started to get deep, which was difficult because she was slurring her speech and the music was loud. I sensed a sadness about her, like me she was married, she had a kid, but seemed unhappy. She was clearly interested in me, which was flattering for me but not good for her. Because she could do so much better. I'm 50 and overweight. I surmised that J was reliving her glory days of singledom through her friend A, and pleased to see me since I represented -in that moment- a step back to the good ol' days.

We talked a lot about those years, and she introduced me to all her friends in that room - they were younger than her so therefore much younger than me - who were polite but wondering why she was into Ancient Man. They probably didn't know her true age or that she was on a nostalgia trip, and I was beginning to wonder myself what sort of trip I was on. Her attention was flattering but I knew better than to let it go anywhere. My wife may not be giving me as much sex as I want, but cheating on her as soon as she is away from home just seemed too cliche.

It was fortuitous then that my friends should turn up and tell me it was time to go home. Since I was the driver they needed me to take them, so I said goodbye to J. She gave me another close hug and held me as she whispered into my ear "It was great to meet you, I really enjoyed seeing you". And then she gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek. I kissed her back, said I enjoyed meeting her too, and left.

As we drove home none of the guys said anything about it, which I thought was strange.

I didn't volunteer anything either, but I did think to myself that it felt good to have a woman interested in me again. And a beautiful/hot one at that too! I knew she was drunk and the room was dark, but I was flattered nonetheless -  maybe there was hope for me yet, should my wife ever ditch me?! And THAT is the power of women. A few simple words and attention from a beautiful woman stranger was enough to restore my self esteem - for another day at least....

I'll save the story about the Saturday night dinner party for Wednesday (since tomorrow is TMI Tuesday) - did the guys choose that moment to mention (in front of my wife) what we'd done on Friday night? (Teaser: my wife shared something TMI on Saturday too!)

*if there is an actual group or conference called Dynamic Women I apologise. I made that up to disguise the actual name of the Group/Conference she went to.

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