Tuesday, May 17, 2016

TMI Tuesday: May 17, 2016 ~ Bad Times

1. Have you ever had bad sex? Why do you think it was bad?
~ As a male I've never had truly bad sex, since any sex is sex and therefore good. Whether the women I was with when I was young would say the same about me I can't say. In my own mind I was a sensitive, confident, and caring lover! The only two episodes that stick in my mind as 'bad' were:
  •  the 18 y.o. Office Receptionist (I was 23) who looked like a centrefold but was absolutely clueless in bed. She did absolutely nothing, and made me do all the work. Honestly she was so passive she lay there like a plank of wood and genuinely appeared not to know what she should do to the point I wondered if she was a virgin. She was so awful I hooked up with her again the following weekend just to see if it would be any better second time around - but it wasn't!
  •  the older woman I went down on, only to discover she smelt like ass, because her butt was full of toilet tissue because she didn't know how to wipe properly.

2. Have you ever given bad sex? Why did that happen?
~ See #1 above. I've never knowingly given bad sex, I always try very hard to get her off as well. Sometimes it doesn't happen, possibly because we're too drunk, and sometimes because I'm doing the wrong thing because [don't shoot me!] sometimes women don't tell us guys what they want/like. As in specifics

3. What instantly puts you in a bad mood?
~ nothing 'instant' but I get moody when I go without sex for extended periods of time. It's not the 'not getting sex' that annoys me, it's more the knowledge that I'm not going to get any that frustrates me so. As in, my wife shuts me down in so many ways before I've even tried to get it on. It makes me feel like an unloved degenerate.

4. Have you been hurt during a sexual activity? What was the activity? How were you hurt or injured?
~ No, but I feel ill when I read about guys who snap their penis while doing some strange position. Ugh, that must hurt like hell. 

5. During sex, what instantly turns you off?
~ finding toilet paper when you go down on someone is right up there, as is farting during sex. Pussy burps are fine, but when they let one rip while you're doing them doggy style? Biitch, please!!

6. Bad sex – is there really such a thing?
~ No. Even if I don't get off I'm still glad we did it. I'm not sure if my wife has the same opinion though. She says she doesn't mind if she doesn't always orgasm but if I don't then she get's upset - in a completely passive aggressive way. She doesn't say anything directly but she gets all moody and makes it clear (without words) that a real man should show the courtesy of ejaculating in/on a woman. The reasons I don't cum is because:
  • I'm really tired and it's so damn late
  • I masturbated earlier because I didn't think I was going to get any
  • She doesn't seem to be into it (despite saying yes) and I feel like I'm getting a pity fuck (or worse, rapey)
  • She is into it (and getting off) but is being completely selfish and I don't feel my presence is actually required.

Bonus: Biting during sex – do you like it? Do you do it?
~ I enjoy having my neck and ear nibbled (okay, it's more the hot breath in the ear) and my wife is the same. This question has reminded me we don't do it enough - I shall try it tonight to see if I can arouse her! My wife likes it when I bite into her shoulder - not too hard but not too soft! Sometimes I will ravage her neck in this way, from behind, as I maul her breasts (she likes that too)

Double Bonus: We had sex, of sorts, on Friday night. She said it was the best orgasm ever!

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