Thursday, June 16, 2016

The Learnings - epilog

Today's post was originally part of yesterday's post but since it ran long I cut it and placed it here instead. Besides, this is what happened after we'd left the resort island retreat - although it is related to what my wife presumably learned in one of her workshops...

The Learnings

My wife wore something like this but without
the stiletto heels, or a leather skirt, because 
that would be slutty.  I mean... too much 
for a morning meeting! And she wore a jacket*
In hindsight I think all the positive stuff my wife was saying to me ("I agree we should have more sex", "I think I'll make the Brazilian permanent, since I know you like it") was all just her post-retreat enthusiasm from whatever workshop exercise their guru had put them through on the island. I have no doubt they all got in a circle and shared their feelings and discussed their hopes and dreams and everyone promised they would be more pro-active in finding the unicorn perfect holistic work/life balance that every CEO strives for. (Yes, I know that's a long sentence - how else would you fully appreciate my cynicism?)

So my wife has her eureka! moment and realises our marriage is not all about her, and she could do more to keep me happy. I have no doubt she genuinely meant what she said at the time she said it, but unfortunately -as with all these types of self help seminars/workshops- once you get back to your home environment it's very easy to quickly fall back into old habits. My wife had suggested we have sex once each weekend, and once midweek as well, so we had sex (of sorts) last week Wednesday - our first week back.

It was great - but then the weekend sex was a complete bust.

On Saturday night she said her regrowth was really itchy and she now remembered why she didn't like brazilians. I suggested she try shaving instead of waxing, since she could do that as often as she liked, whenever she needed to but she said 'No, shaving is bad for you'. On Sunday night I suggested sex (since we hadn't done it Friday or Saturday) but she said she still had her period. I countered with a suggestion we try mutual masturbation (since I knew she had been reading her dirty stories) but she said she was tired and turned out the light. She fell asleep within minutes!

I was kinda pissed off so I started masturbating on my own, but it was hard to orgasm because my wife was snoring. Loud! She would stop intermittently, and then start up again -- but somehow I managed to finish.

The next morning she got dressed for a meeting. Black leggings,  black boots well over the knee (thigh high?), and a short black skirt. I said she looked very hot and she asked what I had been up to last night. In light of my own little 'retreat learnings' I told her honestly: "I jerked off". She countered by saying I should have woken her up because she would have been down for that! WTF?! I had suggested it - and she'd shot me down!!

I asked her what time she would be back and she said after lunch, so I suggested she come straight home so I could show her what I thought of her outfit. She giggled and said "...maybe!" and then grabbed my dick. I took that as a Yes but sure enough she went shopping after lunch and then when she got home she went to check her emails. And her Facebook. And then she got changed into something 'comfortable'. I asked her what happened to the outfit and she looked at me like I was a pervert.

I suspect all that sex I got on the island was just the pre-period hormones kicking in, combined with the euphoria of feeling she had learnt something deeply insightful about herself in the retreat...

*but Nero - jackets come off!!

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