Friday, July 15, 2016

8 Wrong and 1 Right Reason to Have Casual Sex

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

My comment to her is at the very bottom so keep scrolling

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Published on Fearless Press: I have a lot of casual sex (we're talking a few thousand encounters with a few hundred partners over the last 20 years) and I absolutely love it. The vast majority of my hookups have been pleasurable, some were absolutely min"

Recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

8 Wrong and 1 Right Reason to Have Casual Sex

by Pervertically Virtuous
casual sex, alcoholPublished on Fearless Press:
I have a lot of casual sex (we're talking a few thousand encounters with a few hundred partners over the last 20 years) and I absolutely love it. The vast majority of my hookups have been pleasurable, some were absolutely mind-blowing, some were crappy, and a couple bordered on abusive. With the exception of the borderline abusive ones, all my hookups have left me feeling good about myself and what I had done.
Yet, that is not the case with many people, particularly women. Why? Because people too often engage in casual sex for the wrong reasons.
There is extensive psychological research showing that when you engage in activities – any activities – for the wrong reasons, your mental health and life satisfaction take a hit. But when you engage in those same behaviors for the right reasons, your psychological and physical well-being prosper.
What are right and wrong reasons? Right reasons include doing things because they are intrinsically interesting and satisfying, or they are in line with your true desires, interests, attitudes, and values. Wrong reasons include doing things that you don't want to do, that go against who you truly are, or in order to obtain some external benefits or avoid material, social, or emotional punishments.
So what are the wrong and right reasons to have casual sex? Here is what I think, based on both my personal experience and social science studies of motivation and health. Many of these will be more often relevant to women than men, but they can apply to both sexes.
Pervertically Virtuous | July 15, 2013 at 11:41 am | Tags: authenticity, casual sex, health, motivation | Categories: Life According to PV

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