Thursday, July 28, 2016

What I Want in Bed

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "This is a guest post by Cathy Reisenwitz of the "sex-positive, state-negative" blog Sex and the State. Cathy and I don't quite agree on the role of government in economic policies, but we definitely agree on the role of government in regulating our privat"

recovered post by Pervertically Virtuous

What I Want in Bed

by Pervertically Virtuous
in bedThis is a guest post by Cathy Reisenwitz of the "sex-positive, state-negative" blog Sex and the State. Cathy and I don't quite agree on the role of government in economic policies, but we definitely agree on the role of government in regulating our private lives and bodies. I love reading her views, even when I disagree with them. Do check her out if you haven't already.
If you're interested in guest posting on Pervertically Virtuous, please take a look at my Guest Post page and then contact me.

What I Want in Bed

Sleep! Haha, jk. I mean, yes. But this is about what I want when I have sexytimes.
I was going to call this How to Be Good in Bed. But that seemed really obnoxious. I don't know what anyone else wants. But here's what I like.
For You to Listen
I've learned not to trust someone who says they're "really good" at head, fingering, fucking. There is no one way to be really good, because everyone likes different shit. The only way to be really good at giving pleasure is to be really good at reading body language and following instructions. So get really good at reading body language and following instructions.
Here's a good example. If you see me touching myself in a certain way, either take over for me or ask me if you can. If you're not sure of something, ask me.
For You to Communicate
If I'm giving you a blowjob or touching your cock or assuming a particular position and everything I try elicits the same, muted response, that shit is hella boring. I'd imagine it's not that great for you. Whether you want to say, "That feels great," or "A little harder/faster/stronger" or just moan at different levels to indicate your preference, give me some feedback.
This is especially important for hand and blow jobs. I'm not doing it for my health. The point is to make you feel good. If I don't know I'm doing that, it defeats the purpose.
For you to Specify
Why are you having sex with me? Was I just around? If so, find something specific to compliment about me. If not, tell me why you wanted to have sex with me. Is it my perky boobs? My bubble butt? (I have neither but whatevs.) Was it my winning personality? (Don't go with that.) "You're so hot," is nice but not great. Do you remember any of those compliments? "Your flat stomach makes me want to cum," is about a million times better. You will never forget that. We all want to feel special, like our best qualities are noticed and appreciated.
That's what I like in a nutshell. What do you like? Anything in here you wouldn't want?
Cathy ReisenwitzBio: Cathy Reisenwitz is a D.C.-based writer and political commentator. She is Editor-in-Chief of Sex and the State and writes regularly for Doublethink magazine and Thoughts on Liberty. Her writing has appeared in the Washington Examiner, the Daily Caller, XOJane, the AFF Free the Future blog, The Freeman, the Individualist Feminist and Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist.
Pervertically Virtuous | July 27, 2013 at 3:53 pm | Tags: communication, desire, sex | Categories: Guest Post |

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About that sex last weekend...