Monday, August 15, 2016

Interview with a Slut: The Fat Slut

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Today's post is the second in Pervertically Virtuous' monthly feature, An Interview With a Slut, my quest to give a voice to and provide an insight into the lives and personalities of real, actual, slutty, (i.e., promiscuous) women. You can read the first"

New post on Pervertically Virtuous

Interview with a Slut: The Fat Slut

by Pervertically Virtuous
InterviewToday's post is the second in Pervertically Virtuous' monthly feature, An Interview With a Slut, my quest to give a voice to and provide an insight into the lives and personalities of real, actual, slutty, (i.e., promiscuous) women. You can read the first interview here. And whether you're a slutty reader or a fellow slutty blogger, if you'd like to be profiled on this blog, email me!
Today's slutty interviewee is The Fat Slut, a sex blogger at Confessions of a Fat Slut.
Give us a little background about yourself (age, location, race, education, sexual orientation).
I am your average 27 year old Midwestern woman. Well I guess I wouldn't really say average, I've never really been average. I grew up in a small blue collar farm town as a strange quiet girl with a troubled home life and few friends. I moved about three years ago to a large city and I love it.
I came out as bisexual at 18 my first year of college (to my friends) and now identify as queer (though really I'm not sure what any of it means other than I like to sleep with hot people of all types).
I graduated this past May with my BSW and am taking a year off before heading back to graduate school. My eventual goal is to become a sex therapist and educator. I have a background in public speaking and communication, so I'd love to integrate that with my interest in sex and sexuality and my desire to help people embrace their sexuality.
Tell us a bit about your physical appearance (height, weight, etc). How would you rate your "objective" attractiveness on a scale of 1 (very unattractive) to 10 (very attractive)? How do you feel about your appearance (i.e. how satisfied with it are you)?
This is a tough one because it has taken me a long time to get comfortable with my body. I call myself The Fat Slut for a reason. I am about 5'2" (and a half!) and fluctuate between 220 & 230 lbs depending on the time of the month. I'm lucky, though, because I am blessed with a particularly sought after (I'm told) fat girl figure. I have big tits, a round butt, pronounced hips, and rounded belly. If I was a bit thinner I'd probably be considered "curvy".
I have grown to love my figure and appearance with some help from hair dye, make-up, and clothes I like and that fit me well. I've grown to accept that there are many people who find the extra fat on my body grotesque, but I don't want to sleep with those people anyway! There are plenty of incredibly hot men and women who think my belly is sexy, my ass is perfect, and my tits are a gift from the Gods.
How do you define your sexuality (this can be as broad as a whole paragraph or as narrow as one word, e.g., bisexual, swinger, promiscuous…)?
I hate defining it. Hate it. The quick and dirty explanation is Polyamorous Queer Slut. My sexuality is constantly evolving. A year ago I was barely having sex with anyone and in the past year I've doubled my numbers. Now things are slowing down and I am taking things a bit more seriously with partners. But I still love the thought of casual sex on occasion... Really the truth is that I'm young and curious and experimental.
How do you feel about the term slut? Do you consider yourself one? Why/why not?
Absolutely! Of course that is obvious by now, but really, I love the term. I embrace "slut" as a part of who I am. I've had lovers try to say "Oh I bet if we compared numbers you're not a slut like me" but really that isn't what matters to me. I call myself a slut because I love sex and want it as frequently as possible in as many different and exciting ways as possible with as many partners as I see fit.
I feel like taking the venom out of the term is imperative to stopping slut shaming. I have met very few people who don't love sex so why should we be ashamed of it? I don't shout it from the mountaintops or talk about it in line at the grocery store (usually) but I'm certainly not shy if someone asks me a question about my sexuality and I am happy to refer to myself as slutty or a slut. I feel about "Slut" like I feel about embracing the term "Fat" to describe my body type. The word is simply a descriptor not a commentary on my worth as a person or my place in society.
What do you think shaped your sexuality to be what it is?
I honestly have no idea. I think the openness in my household of alternate lifestyles just never made me think about restricting myself. My mom had men in and out of her life and that didn't seem perfect, but neither did the marriages that my friend's parents had.
When I was young and started dating, every single boyfriend I had up until college cheated on me at some point. I almost never cared about the cheating. In fact, sometimes I was relieved. When my (now husband) new crush told me he wasn't monogamous it took me less than a week to agree to try it out. 8 years, three apartments, and one awesome wedding later we are still together and have been open the entire time. My sexuality has been evolving since I learned what sex was, I'm not sure any one experienced shaped my sexuality.
When and how did you lose your virginity? How did you feel about that experience then and/or now?
Depends on what you mean by that. My first sexual experience was with a girl. I was 18 and had just come out as bi. She was also 18 (beautiful full figured red head with long curly hair) and had apparently had a crush on me for months but thought I was straight. She was house sitting for a friend of the family and I stayed the night with her. She had a girlfriend at the time, but the chemistry between us was incredible and we ended up in the bed of the homeowners. I was on top and she came by rubbing herself on my leg (I can still feel the wet spot on my pajama pants). It was incredibly hot at the time, but as soon as she came she was overcome with guilt and I never got to cum. Eventually things flamed out in a giant mess and we haven't spoken since. I'd say I feel positive about the experience though...
My first sex with a man came about three months later with my (now) husband and it was awesome and loving and slow and fun, but much less dramatic.
How many people (men, women, trans) have you had sex with since? What are some sexual things you've done (think types of sexual activities, types of partners, locations, situations, etc.) and what are your favorite sexual things to do?
I actually wrote up a list on my blog recently of every sexual experience I've had. The number up until about January was 10 from my first sexual experience which was 18. Since then the number has doubled. I think it is something like 15 men and 5 women. I've not been with a trans person yet, though I've been propositioned a couple times, it's never worked out.
I've been fairly experimental with group sex of different combinations. MMF, FFM, MFMF. My husband and I have been with 3 other couples, a few random guys, and he and I have had 3sums separately as well. Through all of this I've mostly come to the conclusion that I am not extroverted enough for group sex to work for me. Though I've never really had a MMF where I was attracted intensely to both guys, so I'd definitely give it a shot again under the right circumstances.
I am an exhibitionist. I really get off on the risk of getting caught. Some of my favorite moments have been skinny dipping naked in broad daylight in a not so well covered back yard, masturbating openly in the car during lunch time rush hour on a busy highway in a car that can easily be seen into, and of course taking naked pictures or videos that I've been instructed to create by dominant partners.
I am also finding more recently that I am a submissive with a love of power play and light pain (working up to more). I was recently discussing/attempting a Master/slave relationship, but the partner I was going to try with has proven he can't take on the role of Master.
How often do you masturbate?
Not as often as I should, honestly. Maybe two-three times a week, if that. It can take me a long time to have an orgasm and sometimes if I'm not perfectly in the mood I can't even get started without losing interest. I tend to get a lot more excited playing with a partner than I ever do on my own, but that doesn't mean I cum easier with them (though the intensity tends to be much higher.)
How often do you orgasm when having partnered sex? What is a sure-fire way to make you come? Do you cum easily? How has your (in)ability to achieve orgasm shaped your sluttiness?
Not as often as I'd like. I try to pick partners who are willing to work to make me cum, but I've been told by basically everyone I've ever slept with that I am difficult to get off. I love sex and sometimes a good fucking is more intense and satisfying that an orgasm. If my partner can't get me off I don't blame them (so long as they put in a good effort at least), but I am not going to stick with a partner who isn't willing to learn how to get me off. I've had partners that found ways to get me off very quickly, but it isn't consistent and I can't figure out what the tricks are myself.
My husband loves trying to get me off. He has a grin for hours after making me cum. Lately he is even prouder that he has figured out how to make me squirt. I certainly don't mind.
When and what was your first exposure to porn? Did it shape your 'sluttiness' in any way?
People who grew up in the U.S. around the time I did (late 80's-early 90's) will probably understand what I mean when I say my first exposure was scrambled soft core porn on channel 99 when I was probably 9 years old. I remember hearing the boys at school talk about how they could see boobs on their TV late at night by going to channel 99. Seeing it was the first time I remember being turned on. I was fascinated by sex from that point on.
I remember basically every time I saw porn until I was old enough to google. When I was 13, a friend had a birthday party at a hotel and after her mom fell asleep we found the free porn on the room's TV. It wasn't actual porn though, just a "sexy" game show where the ladies had whipped cream on their tits and the guys were trying to hit targets on them... Her mom woke up and made us turn it off after like five minutes though. We were all very upset.
Are you a fan of casual sex with many different partners? Why/Why not?
Yes and no. I like the thought, theoretically, of just sleeping with whoever I find attractive and not giving a fuck if they call me later... but in reality I've rarely had sex with someone for the first time and I really felt satisfied with after. Usually I don't cum the first time (no matter how hard he tries), or he is a bad kisser, or he cums after two seconds and then leaves. Ideally I'd like to get to know someone and learn to have great sex or have some sort of orgasm guarantee...
Where and how do you find your sexual partners?
Mostly the internet. Craigslist, OkCupid, and sometimes Reddit. We/I also meet people through mutual friends sometimes.
How often do you drink or do drugs before sex?
Sometimes. With new partners usually there is some sort of intoxicant (generally wine or booze, but occasionally weed) because I am nervous and it helps cut down on the shaking hands and racing heart, but I make a point not to get to the point where I feel out of control.
Do you use protection for vaginal, anal, oral? Do you get checked (if so, how often) for STIs?
Always use condoms (non latex because I'm allergic) except with my husband. I get checked once a year.
Are you in a long-term relationship? Is that relationship monogamous or open in some way? 
I have been married for three years and with my husband for 8. We have been open the entire time (but kept things casual with outside partners) and now are beginning to explore Polyamory. He has a developing new relationship and I am dating.
How has your slutty sexual behavior affected your relationships with other people (friends, family, romantic/sexual partners), positively or negatively? Have you been slut-shamed? If so, how have you dealt/do you deal with it?
My husband loves it. My family (as in parents, grandparents, and in-laws) are mostly clueless. My younger sister knows we're not monogamous and that I'm not straight and to some extent my little brother knows I'm open about sex, though he is only 13 so all he really knows is that I am happy to talk about sex with him when he is ready because I know our parents won't.
My friends are amused by it, I think. Certain other friends love it because they benefit from my sluttiness (having swinger friends is interesting...) Potential partners seem to universally find it hot.
Do you have any close friends of your preferred sex? Do you fuck them/Would you consider fucking them? If not, why not?
I have and do fuck friends, why not? If we get along and like sex and each other I'm all for it. I've slowed down on that lately though.
Top 5 things on your sexual bucket list?
Whoo boy... this one is tough. So in no particular order...
1. Go home with a stranger from a bar (I've never been picked up at a bar and I'd LOVE to.)
2. Try out a Master/slave relationship
3. Movie Theater sex/blow job
4. A gang bang with all hot men of my choosing
5. Sex in the woods against a tree like in Secretary...
Your words of advice to a girl/woman considering a slutty lifestyle?
My biggest suggestion for a woman looking to embrace her sluthood would be: Be Picky! I always thought that because I was fat, or weird, or whatever that I didn't get to be picky when it came to choosing partners so I let whoever came on to me in and felt terrible about the sex I was having. The pickier I've gotten the better I've felt about myself and my sex life.
The Fat Slut
About The Fat Slut:
The Fat Slut writes Confessions of a Fat Slut because she doesn't think enough people talk frankly and openly about sex in an honest, positive, and constructive way. Sex, sexuality, relationships, and especially nonmonogamy are confusing and painful and fun and sexy and exciting and freeing and scary all at the same time. She writes about her successes and failures in dating and sex because she wants people to know she's not ashamed of loudly embracing my sexuality (as a non traditional fat weird queer woman) and neither should anyone else. 
Are you a promiscuous woman and want to tell other Pervertically Virtuous' readers what that means to you? Email me and I'll send you some questions.
Have ideas about other questions to ask of future sluts profiled here? Leave them in the comments or email me.
Need to find some slutty women? Try Adult FriendFinder.
Pervertically Virtuous | August 15, 2013 at 11:55 am | 

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