Thursday, August 4, 2016

My Craigslist Big Black Cock Fiasco

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: " Craigslist doesn't always work. Sometimes it leads to a painfully frustrating day or two. Like this time. The day I spent masturbating all day and browsing Craigslist for bisexual men to have a threesome with, a bi MMF was not all that I was looking fo"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

My Craigslist Big Black Cock Fiasco

by Pervertically Virtuous
hot_black_man
This is what I wanted
Craigslist doesn't always work. Sometimes it leads to a painfully frustrating day or two. Like this time.
The day I spent masturbating all day and browsing Craigslist for bisexual men to have a threesome with, a bi MMF was not all that I was looking for. I was also craving something else: A Big Black Cock. Outdoorsville is painfully white, and it had been exactly six months since the last time I'd fucked a black guy -  the Sex on the Bus guy. So I posted an ad in search of a BBC: "hot, taller than me, DDD free, and respectful".
I've posted similar ads for "dark chocolate" while living in Unitown, and it always leads to a barrage of responses from both the intended demographic (black men), and everyone else. But back in Unitown, all that email clutter would yield an average of one fuckable black guy and one fuckable white guy before my ad got flagged down. So I was not prepared for what awaited me here in Outdoorsville: Half a dozen really hot black guys and over half a dozen really hot white guys. Where did all these hot black men come from? I mean, that was more than the total number of black people I've seen in Outdoorsville in the entire month that I've been here!
I was like a kid in a candy store, and absolutely certain I was getting laid. I even decided to take my ad down after 2 days (for the first time ever it did not get flagged), because I didn't know what to do with so many viable applicants. Ace was only away for two more days, and once he came back I wouldn't have much time to play with single guys.
All seemed to be going well, except that nothing went well. It was a complete failure. Here is how it went.
#1. Elijah: The gorgeous liar/nutcase
See that delicious man in the picture above? Elijah resembled him. Perfect body, smooth, hairless skin, beautiful face, huge cock. He wrote in complete sentences, could spell, and seemed nice and respectful. I was sold. I told him to come up the next evening. He was one of the first responses I got, so I pretty much put all other black and non-black potentials on hold.
The next day, no word from Elijah all day. I emailed in the early afternoon, no response. I texted the number he gave me, the recipient had no idea who I was. So I sent another email saying "well, you did a good job fucking with me". This is what I got in response.
Sorry but something else came up......and now you got me questioning why a HOT BABE like you is on here. Im here because some woman will pay to fuck me. Actually its more like couples. Something about a white man wanting me to fuck his wife while they watch and sometimes record. I always get copies of both. Im really sorry but I need to make money first. I understand if you tell me to fuck off but let me tell you, its easy to get a man. Especially a BABE like you. All you have to do is say "HI" and just watch. If you worried about the big dick then ask them if they have what you want. They will show it by their confidence and if need to ask to see it then so be it. Its has happen to me plenty of times. Take care if this is the last email and don't worry about your pics I way more mature than that.
Huh? I told him that email didn't make much sense, and that I didn't need lessons on how to get a man. But most importantly, that he lied and fucked with me and that was not cool. And then I got this gem.
Bitch, if you were in front of me I would of smacked for saying dumb shit like that. Fuck off you weirdo. You get so bent out of shape for dick dam you fucking loony. I said I have to work and weekends are always better for me but you couldn't wait. The hell with you,,,,oooooo now I get it. You nothing but a spoiled brat. Well bitch find some other BB nuts to lick.
Boy, am I glad I didn't let that man into my home!
#2. The gorgeous Blake: A liar or a really unfortunate man?
I went back to the list to set something up for the following night. Blake was my second choice - his face was not as pretty and his cock not as big, but his black body was totally ripped and tatted up. He lived two hours away, but said he'd drive down to see me. We exchanged several emails, he sneaked off to the bathroom at work several times over the course of the day to take pictures for me, then spoke on the phone before he left his house the following day. He was supposed to arrive at 7.00 PM and leave at 8.30 PM to get to work. I got all dolled up and ready. At 7.05 PM I got a text saying "Almost there." And that was it. I didn't hear anything from him again all night despite sending several texts.
The next morning I got a long email saying that right after he sent that last text he got pulled over by a cop for some BS stuff (illegal window tint and not clearly visible front license plate). By the time the cop let him go an 1 hr 45 min later, he had to drive back to go to work. The story was so detailed and so ridiculous, that I am actually inclined to believe him. Except the part that the cop wouldn't let him text while he held him AND then his phone died. But who knows. He swore he'd love to see me when he's here for work in a few weeks. Except that then I'll be traveling. Opportunity lost.
I am an insatiable slut
Blake was not the only guy I had scheduled for that night. Once I knew that Blake needed to leave by 8.30 PM, a dirty, slutty thought formed in my mind: How hot would it be to have not one, but two hot black guys come to my house, fuck me for an hour, and leave? My pussy got wet just thinking that thought again now. So I went through the waiting list, and emailed everyone on it: "Are you free later tonight?"
About six men didn't answer. Below I give you the seven who did.
#3. Grace: The "Sorry, No Pictures" Guy
Grace initially sent a nice email and a picture from behind, indicating a fit black body. When I re-contacted him and he said he was free that night and willing to drive an hour each way to meet me, I asked for a frontal pic. I thought it was reasonable - and best for both of us - to make sure I wanted to fuck him before he committed to a 2-hr drive. Well, he didn't seem to think so. He refused to send a frontal pic, saying "As hot as you are, I'm not going to jump through hoops to sleep with you".
I wouldn't call sending a frontal pic a particularly big hoop, but you're free to disagree. You won't be getting laid then.
#4. Damon: The 20-yo hoe fucker
He was very young, and initially sent a minimal 3-liner, but the sentences were pretty coherent, he was a college student, and he was pretty gorgeous with a ripped black body and a big cock. Here's our conversation after recontacting him to potentially see him that evening.
Him: Cool.  So you wanna be my hoe for a night an let me use you.
Red flags!! Maybe he was kidding?
Me: Hm... No, I don't like that language, or the humiliation imagery that goes with it. Perhaps you're not the right guy.
Him: Why not?  You admit you a woman who a black cock lover an think white boys are useless POS. An no offence but we know the look when we see it.  So let stop playin an come get the bbc like a good white hoe.
He was not kidding.
Me: Umm, yes, I love black cock, but no, I don't think white boys are useless. I've just been having a lot of them lately, and want some diversity. That does not mean I wanna be treated like a 'hoe'.
Him: Look I just say and do what all the other nigga who writen you are thinkin and wont say. White girl good for takin black dick and status symbol. Nuthin else. You want a real man I'm here.  You should be honored to hoe for me an thank me.
I wonder, maybe some women actually like being treated like this? Not judging, I'm just not one of them. I was done with the conversation.
Me: Sorry kiddo, but not all black men think like that. I've had many of them, and I can assure you of that. So you enjoy the white hoes, I'll enjoy the black men who know how to respect a woman. To each their own. Have a good night.
Him: Had many of them? You talkin like you a black cock hoe boo. lol If they respected you they'd keep you.  They just ain't honest about what they think.  I know my people.   Or you a white an mexican cock hoe too?  Just a cock hoe in general.  I can work with it.
Him: Really it sound like you had more cock and more colors in you than that girl who did the 500 man GB.  Cept she didn't give it up free.  You don't gotta hide what you are with me.  I'm good with it.
Was that an attempt at insulting me? Was he suggesting fucking lots of men for money was better than fucking them for pleasure? Was that reverse racism? I wasn't sure but I didn't care to find out.
#5. Jamie: The gorgeous white guy who was out of town.
Jamie was white, but absolutely 100% gorgeous, tall, ripped, hairless, big cock, adorable face. See the picture above and just substitute white skin. He was also the right age, had an advanced degree, spelled correctly, was perfectly civil the whole time, lived nearby, and.... was currently out of town until the day Ace came back to town. WTF?!
#6. Jungle Reggie: The Shortie Indian
His light brown body seemed decently attractive in his initial faceless pix, and his cock was big. Very responsive and articulate, after like 20 emails back and forth, it was revealed that not only was he Indian and not black (and I'm not particularly attracted to Indians), but that he was 5'5''. He didn't read my ad very carefully. What a waste of time.
#7. Jason: The seemingly hot Indian
In his pictures, Jason's stomach looked ripped, his cock was big, and his face was OK. He said he was 6 feet tall, half Black half Indian ("the convenience store, not casino Indian" which I thought was hilarious). I am not into most Indians, but the half part of him made him seem fuckable. When he showed up at my door, he was 5'9'' (i.e. not taller than me), scrawny (my thighs were bigger than his!), fully Indian, and wearing sport shower sandals (ugh). His pictures were clearly of him, but taken under very very very flattering angles. But by then I was horny and just wanted to get laid. The fuck was uneventful, except for the few times he asked me if I liked that, at which I almost laughed in his face, but managed to control myself. I came 3 times, he came twice, and as soon as he came the second time, I kicked him out politely. He was gone in less than 40 minutes after he arrived. 40 minutes too long.
#8. Jordan: The 20-yo drunk college student
He was white and very young, but had a nice body and a cute smiling face. Most importantly, by the time the Indian left - and left me still aching for a really nice hot body - I was desperate. I texted the number he gave me. It was a very confusing interaction. I told him to meet me at the corner of X and Y and text when he got there. He asked for my address. I repeated he should meet me at the corner of X and Y and text when he got there. He asked for my address again. This went on for 3 more times. Finally I said "Which part of meet me at the corner of X and Y and text when you get there do you not understand? What is up with you?!" That's when he called me.
Him: Are you Mike's friend?
He sounded drunk.
Me: What? Who the hell is Mike?!
Him: My friend Mike gave you my number, right?
He was definitely drunk.
Me: No. You, or someone posing as you, responded to my Craigslist ad and gave me your number.
Him: Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I did that.
Me: OK, good, I'm glad we established this. But you sound really drunk.
Him: No, no, I'm not drunk. I wish I was drunk, but I'm not. 
Me: You wish you were drunk?! Oh god. Sweety, you ARE drunk. You are slurring your words.
Him: No, I'm not, really!
Oh Z, you should know better than mess around with college kids on a Thursday night.
Me: Look, kiddo, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is gonna work out. You're very cute and you sound sweet, but you're really young, and clearly drunk, and I'm fairly confident you cannot satisfy my craving right now. I should've known better. Have a good night.
The following day I got an email from him apologizing for the night before. By then, it was too late.
#9. Rain Drop: The sweet, "I wanna enjoy you in more ways than one" Black guy
An eloquent medical student, with very dark, smooth body and a nice cock, Rain Drop seemed fascinated with me and kept asking me all sorts of things, from what my doctoral thesis was about to how my day went. He even sent me an email from his actual address, displaying with his full first, last name, and middle initial. I was mildly amused and humored him for a while (while I was working on the other, seemingly more promising prospects), but once the window of opportunity to get laid started to close, I got impatient and insisted on a face pic so I could decide whether I wanted to fuck him or not.
He was almost offended by this.
Him: As hot as you are, and as much as I'd want to do things to you, I'm different from most guys. I enjoy you beyond the prospects of what I'll enjoy with you. I'm not looking for a committed relationship with you, but at the same time, I am not desperate. And believe me when I say that I know that you are rare. Even after you move back to where you live, I would like to think that I can still keep in touch with you. So my point being that I refuse to let you use me for your desires only. Do you know one thing we have in common? Self pride...
That was so sweet, yet not really helping me with my desire for a BBC inside me, so I tried to explain myself nicely.
Me: It's very sweet of you to try and connect with me in more than just a simple fuck. And you seem like someone I'd like to be friends with if we met in real life. But this is CL casual encounters, this is only (or mostly) about satisfying carnal desires, not about forming long term relationships or friendships. Sometimes exceptions happen, but not often.
The thing with me this time is, I was really horny and craving some black cock. In the most physical sense of the word. I wanted a hot, tall, ripped, hung, gorgeous black man to come over, fuck me senseless for an hour or two and then leave. And I only had a short window of opportunity here - I'm leaving town Monday and I'll be on the road for most of August. And my husband is coming back to town tomorrow, so my window of opportunity just closed tonight.
He sent a face pic. Not the most attractive face, but I would've fucked him. Except that it was 1 AM at that point and I was exhausted and done.
I quickly jerked off to another one of Fuck Yeah! Friendly Fire's Fappable Features, shut off my computer, and fell asleep.
So there you have it. My three-day Craigslist quest for a BBC in Outdoorsville ended in inglorious defeat. I don't know if documenting this frustrating process was interesting or useful to anyone in any way, but I had to get it out of my system. If I didn't get a proper BBC fuck out of all that time and effort spent, I thought I'd at least get a blog post.
You wanna get laid? Try Adult FriendFinder. You might have more luck that way.
Similar/Related posts:
Flagged and Removed: Your Post is Fake
Sex on a Packed Bus
6 Men in 7 Days: The Old Fuckbuddy
 Care for even more Craigslist experiences, analyses, and tips? Panty Parade has been writing about it on Off Go the Panties
Pervertically Virtuous | August 4, 2013 at 6:13 pm | Tags: BBC, craigslist, disrespect, honesty | Categories: Sex Stories |


Pervertically Virtuous in response to Nero:
I know I shouldn’t laugh, but your experience are kinda hilarious – I hope you can see the funny side of striking out (but I know it’s frustrating) On the serious side, I’m bemused by your #7. You came 3 times in 40 minutes but still weren’t happy and considered it a waste of your time [...] ~ NERO

Lol, it’s OK to laugh, I totally see the comical quality of my fiasco. As frustrating as it was at the moment.
Orgasms for me are easy to achieve, apparently even with partners I’m not really attracted to. But it wasn’t just an orgasm I was craving, it was an orgasm in a specific context. By a big black cock attached to a big, ripped body that I’m so attracted to I wanna ravish. I wasn’t attracted to #7 at all. So it left me craving…

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