|can you guess how I'm feeling today?|
"So I'm going to skip all that and go now. You can either come with me now, or stay with your drunk as fuck buddies..."
It was at that point she turned on me. She did not shout, but she got right up in my face, pointed her finger, and hissed very loudly: "If you want to go then you can fuck off right now and fucking go home. Go on, go back to the hotel, fuck off!" There was fire in her eyes and she stepped away before immediately stepping back to continue her tirade: "Stop making this a competition between you and BNG. I brought you here for a reason - do you see any other partners here? No, just you. But that's okay, if you don't want to be here then fuck off, go back to the fucking hotel, go on, GO!" She was shouting now.
"I just don't understand what the point of being the last one to leave is?" I said, "I'm tired, you're all drunk---"
I didn't get to finish the sentence as my wife wheeled around and poked her finger into my chest.
"I am not fucking drunk, I'm sober, I'm not drunk! I said we'd stay here half an hour so that's what I meant. I brought you down here so we could have a good time. I thought you could support me, because I feel safe when you're here, but you don't want to be here, so fuck off. I just want to have some fun but you don't, okay, if you don't want to be here I won't invite you next time. That's fine, fuck off"
And with that she stormed off to join her BFF and they started dancing near a table ten feet away, drinks in hand - big smiles on their faces because they were having the coolest fun, they were awesome party girls.
I took stock of the situation.
I hadn't anticipated that heated
- My wife didn't seem drunk during that exchange - maybe I was wrong? (later I would learn it was just the adrenalin coursing through her, she was drunk alright)
- My wife has no regard for my wishes - it's her way or the highway. I suppose I knew that already, but it's shocking to see it exposed in such blatant terms.
- My wife does not want me showing her up in front of her younger(ish) friends. She doesn't want them knowing how old we are - and us going home early is what old people do.
- My wife feels 'safe' when I'm around in situations like this - what does that mean? What happens when I'm not around? Do the BNG guys hit on her? Do random men in bars like these hit on her? Does she get herself into situations she regrets when she's drunk and I'm not around to 'protect' her?
- Am I her enabler?
I didn't know the answers to these questions but one thing was clear: I should not leave. If I left she would do something we'd both regret, and she would blame me for her doing it.
So sat at the bar and ordered a drink, one of two I had while my wife danced with her BNG BFF and they had the funnest time, pretending they were hot babes half their age. As I sat there nursing my drink I had to acknowledge they were indeed hot, but then I remembered the BFF had also implored me earlier to make sure she got home by midnight because she had a court appearance at 9am the following morning. Yeah, good luck with that I thought to myself, as the DJ played 'Like A Virgin' and the pair of them went nuts.
Half an hour later and it was time to go. Not because the girls wanted to go, but because one of the guys had bumped a local and they were about to fight. Yeah, it was that kind of joint, all class. All the BNG'ers were very drunk by now, and as the only sober one there I managed to hold our guy off until security arrived, at which point I assured them we were leaving and got everyone out before a punch was thrown.
Any hope this would be a good time to call it a night was dashed when my wife asked "Where to now?" once we were outside. I STFU as once again we pounded the pavement looking for another bar. Five minutes later and someone (I kid you not) spotted a strip club across the road and down an alley. "Let's go there" my wife squealed, and off we went. Exactly as I had predicted an hour before.
Surprisingly my wife's BFF was suddenly hesitant once we got to the strip club door, remembering she had her 9am court date in the morning. "C'mon" begged my wife, "it'll be just like that time in Tijuana!" So we farted around for another 5 minutes deciding if we were going in or not, until the BFF decided she wasn't paying the $20 cover charge (because yes, ladies had to pay too - which was odd).
It was at this point my wife realised two of our group had already gone in, leaving just the four of us - and I suspect she now remembered that I had predicted we would end up at a strip club. She told her BFF we were going back to our hotel, but it took another 5 minutes until we could actually head for the taxi rank because the BFF still wanted to go to another bar. To cut the conversation short I finally said "I thought you had to be in court at 9am?" and she took the hint.
So my wife and I head back to the hotel but once inside the car she starts going off at me again, repeating all the points she had made before - and informing me that if she invited me anywhere again I had to be clear what time I wanted to be home. "10 o'clock? 11 o'clock? I didn't realise you were such a tired old man who needed to be in bed by midnight - just tell me what your bedtime is so I know whether or not to invite you next time" she said, snidely.
And on and on she went, so much so that the driver even asked if we'd like to him to turn on some music. He just didn't want to hear her going off on me anymore. But she was keen to vent so vent she did. She was not keen to listen however, and when I tried to explain my side of the argument (we were in our hotel room now) she told me it was best that I be quiet and not say anything. She shut me down completely.
All I wanted to say was that she had told me at various times throughout the night that were going home, but each time we didn't, so it was her that was bullshitting me - because she really wanted to hang out with her BNG BFF and recreate their wild night in Tijuana. If she'd been clear about that from the start - warned me it would be a long might - then I could have steeled myself for it. But no, she kept telling me from 10 o'clock onwards that we would be going soon.
Is it so wrong for a man to want to get his wife back to their 6 star luxury hotel suite so he can make sweet sweet love to her?
It became clear that night that my wife believes she comes first in our relationship and I should be grateful she let's me into her circle of delight. She really does believe that she's Queen of the Whole Damn Universe. And that's not good for me.