Saturday, September 24, 2016

Open Marriages ~ Part 2

Okay, firstly there is no Open Marriages ~ Part 1 but this is a follow on from this post which touches on things to do when you don't want to have sex with your partner. But you don't want them to cheat or leave you. Read that first, and then come back here for another idea - albeit an extreme idea. So extreme I chopped it off the end of that post and put it here:

There is another thing you can try but it require a lot of courage and confidence. But before I get to I should also mention the other other thing you can do that also requires a lot of courage and confidence: get counselling. If your libido is gone then you should really seek professional advice before trying the suggestions above. Sometimes the lack of libido is medical (some prescriptions you're taking) or it could be psychological (something hidden in you psyche is stopping you) or it could be physical (your husband is a big fat slob and you can't bear the thought of fucking him).

The other thing you can try is an Open Marriage, but it really does require a lot of courage and confidence. Confidence that your husband won't run off with one of these women you allow him to fuck. I'm really not qualified to give expert advice on Open Marriages since I'm not in one and have never been in one, but since I'm a guy I'll give you my unsolicited advice anway:

There are many many variations of an open marriage but YOU set the terms of your open marriage, and he has to agree to them as you dictate.

  1. He has to use a condom at all times, and remain disease free (maybe you also require regular testing?)
  2. Maybe he has to tell you what he's up to (the level of detail is up to you) or maybe you prefer he doesn't tell you anything because you don't want to know - he just plays a lot of 'night golf' right?
  3. You decide how often he's allowed to play 'night golf' - once a week, twice a month, once a month, or maybe even just on his birthday?
  4. You decide who he can play with - a paid escort/hooker, a rub 'n tug masseuse, a random woman he picks up in a bar who he can never see again, or a woman he met on a hook up site (in which case is he allowed to see her more than once or is it only to be a one time thing and then he has to find a new conquest?)
  5. You decide when he can play too - maybe he has to do this during the day because you want him home with you and the family at night, like in a 'normal' marriage? 

I only know one guy personally who had an open marriage and it didn't end well. After their second child she totally went off sex and a year after that she gave him a 'free pass' to have sex with other women - as long as they were random hook ups that he only saw once - because the lack of sex was impacting their marriage. So for the first few months he was like a kid in a candy store when all the candy is free, but like any kid with unlimited free candy he got sick of it eventually.

He started complaining that he was sick of random hook ups and that he wanted something 'more real'. We of course told him he was mad, and should just be grateful his wife had given him this magic pass in the first place. He got so conflicted about what he actually wanted (he was cheating on his wife by not sticking to the rules of 'one time hook ups') that he started to drink heavily. Two years later it ended in divorce when she found out he had 'a girlfriend'. Now he's a free man bleating about how much he loves his kids and maybe if he got back with his wife it would be worth it just to see his kids all the time.

Honestly, men are the most dumb ass gender in the entire Animal Kingdom - I don't know why women put up with them.

Forget what I've said about open marriages, just teach your man to masturbate and you'll be fine.

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About that sex last weekend...