Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Don’t You Miss BDSM? ~ PART 2

Here are some of the original replies made to Don’t You Miss BDSM? on Pervertically Virtuous' original blog (not mine) that I republished on Monday. Her original post got such a reaction I felt I should also publish some of those responses.


Pervertically Virtuous in response to Nero:
You mentioned a couple of things that resonated with me, namely “need for novelty/diversity” and “non-specific arousability”. I’ve long suspected my wife shares those traits, although not to the extent you do. (Then again, who knows what lurks in the deep recesses of her mind?) As readers of my blog will know, I spend a [...]
Yes, I think novelty is important for a lot of people (for some more than others), and non-specific arousability is more typical for women than men. So I’m sure your wife shares those to some extent. Getting her to initiate and articulate her desires is a whole different thing. It’s a problem that plagues many marriages it seems.

I wish I could figure out how to bottle “Essence of PV”, but don’t know what else to do other than write about who I am and how I live my life, hoping that someone out there will get inspired to get in better touch with their sexuality…


Pervertically Virtuous in response to jplr:
High sex drive, high need for novelty, high need for diversity and non-specific arousability. In your opinion, are these traits correlated? Is it possible to have an high sex drive and low need of novelty? Are some combinations more common? Are they differences between the men (and women) you meet in your “open” circles?

High sex drive and high novelty (what they call sexual sensation seeking) are certainly correlated, so chances are if you’re high on one, you’re high on the other, and vice versa. But the correlation is far from perfect. There are people who have a sex drive, but they prefer to express that with one partner; and there are people who need sexual novelty, but don’t want it all the time (perhaps Nero’s wife falls into this category).

Non-specific arousability is not necessarily correlated with the other two. Most, for example, are fairly category-specific in their arousal patterns (they have a specific set of things they find attractive/arousing), yet they’re often high on sex drive and novelty. Women are often non-category specific, yet low on sex drive and novelty.

In the open circles, I think most men and women fall into the high sex drive/high need for novelty category, with men more category specific, and women more fluid.

DISCLAIMER: This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous.

In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 


(FYI: some links in this post are dead)









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