Monday, October 17, 2016

Don’t You Miss BDSM?

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright to this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: all links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: ""Don't you miss BDSM?" asked one of my male Dom friends the other day. When I first started this blog 7 months ago, I had a live-in slave, I did a lot of D/s play, and many (most?) of the entries were BDSM-related. Now that slave-boy moved to Europe, and"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

Don't You Miss BDSM?

by Pervertically Virtuous
peverticallyvirtuous-whip






















"Don't you miss BDSM?" asked one of my male Dom friends the other day.
When I first started this blog 7 months ago, I had a live-in slave, I did a lot of D/s play, and many (most?) of the entries were BDSM-related. Now that slave-boy moved to Europe, and I've been mostly focused on other sexual activities (like casual and group sex), I haven't done any D/s for over four months. My new readers probably don't even know I had a slave for 18 months, or that I am into BDSM at all!
So, do I miss BDSM?
No, not really.
I miss slave-boy and his service to me, but not BDSM play per se.
Not yet, at least.
See, I AM into BDSM - and into some really heavy BDSM at that - but it is not my primary sexual orientation, the way it is for many of the people in the kink lifestyle. For me, BDSM has never been a lifelong yearning, a burning desire or need that arises in me independently of my surroundings and demands to be satisfied. For me, BDSM is an extension of my highly active and extremely polymorphous sexuality, it is only one of the many other ways in which I express, experiment with, and enjoy my sexuality. Of course, given my fairly dominant personality, if I am to engage in BDSM, then I'm obviously going to be the Top, but it is not something I need to do with all my partners. It is something that I like to do when I have the right partner/s to do it with, and something that I can easily go without for a while when there are no suitable partners or when there are other things vying for my attention.
There have been only three constants in my sexual life and interests:
1. High sex drive
I have always wanted a lot of sex, thought about sex a lot, masturbated, sought out partnered sex, engaged in a lot of sex.
2. High need for novelty/diversity
I have always been driven by new and different sexual partners, experiences, activities.
3. High fluidity/non-specific arousability
I seem to be able to "get into" (i.e., become psychologically and physiologically aroused by) pretty much any kind of sexual act. It all depends on the circumstances, the connection with the partners, my mood, etc.
Because of my high need for novelty, the amount of time that has elapsed between the last time I've done something also plays a role. During the 18 months of having my slave, I was heavily focused on BDSM play, both with him and with other partners (other subs, professional clients, random play partners at fetish parties), at the expense of other kinds of play that I like engaging in - casual sex with new partners, orgies, swinging with my husband, gangbangs, women, t-girls... Now that my thirst for BDSM has been quenched (at least temporarily), it is those other things I'm craving more. Once I've been doing those things for a while, I'll probably start craving BDSM again.
And the cycle will keep repeating itself. Until the day I die. (Or get so old, wrinkly, and ugly that no one will want to sleep with me anymore. *Shudders*).
Pervertically Virtuous | October 18, 2013 at 11:38 am | 

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About that sex last weekend...