Monday, October 24, 2016

Left alone for five days... what's a boy to do?

[Update 12/20/2016: As explained in The Bloggers NSFW dilemma I have changed the original gif image in this post to something else. The one below is similar but less in your face - you can see the original image here]

Firstly I should clarify: my wife left for a conference last Thursday morning but I wasn't home alone - I had my 14 y.o. daughter to look after. But given that's she's fourteen and is at that age where she only wants to be left alone so she can hide in her cave bedroom and hang out online with all her friends (both real world and internet) I was pretty much on my own for the duration.

And if I'm going to 'clarify' I suppose I should go the whole hog: we were supposed to go to the conference together but on the night before we were due to leave my wife's sister had a car accident so my wife cancelled and flew instead to see her sister. Who just happens to live in a swinging town (and also my wife has a few friends there). But just because my wife's sister's accident wasn't life threatening, and my wife decided to book a hotel room in the city, and stay for 5 days... doesn't mean my wife was flying to meet her lover for an illicit long weekend. No, don't get paranoid Nero!

Seriously, the accident was real (but not life threatening) so I don't think my wife was up to any mischief. Or planning any... (but let's see what I can find when she gets home with her devices). It's Sunday afternoon now (as I write) and my wife has only called me once ("my sister is okay!") and texted me twice (both times about our daughter). But she did 'like' two of my Facebook posts (my real profile, not the Nero one). So basically I've been on my own the whole time.

OMFG - the internet is full of images of men jerking off! Who knew?
(until now I've only seen the women doing it online - honest! )
The other factoid you need to know is that we did not have sex the weekend before she left last Thursday (or any time in between, or prior) because at that stage we were both going to the four day conference and my wife often does this crazy thing where she likes to 'wait until we're in the hotel suite'. Yeah, dumb, I know! "Why can't have we sex this weekend and when we get to the hotel in a few days time?" is a question I don't even bother to ask any more.

So given that I hadn't had sex for more than two weeks before my wife flew out early on Thursday morning, can you guess what was the first thing I did after my daughter left for school?

Yup, I fired up the laptop, found some porn, and jerked off.

Normally I'd share with you what got me off in a post tagged TPGMO (This Porn Got Me Off) but quite frankly it was nothing to write home about. It didn't matter though because my dick was hard as soon as I loosened my pants, and when I came it was #*$%ing fantastic. Have you ever been so horny that when you finally do cum it feels like your whole body has exploded, and you cum an absolute gusher? Yeah, it was one of those. There was cum spurting everywhere, and lots of it.

I almost felt bad for my wife, who would have loved to have seen that, but then I figured it was her fault I had such blue balls anyway, so #*$% her. Was 9am too early to be masturbating? HELL NO!! And the same logic applied at lunchtime when I figured another round was in order. I don't know about you, but when I've gone without sex I always want more, even after I do finally get some. It's like those people who try dieting by not eating bad stuff but as soon as they eat one Pringle they can't stop and the whole tube is finished within minutes. And then you're looking in the cupboard for the Doritos.

So just after 3pm I was looking at the clock and thinking that it really wouldn't be too long before my daughter got home from school, and since I had cum twice already today if I was going to do it again (y'know, to flush it all out of my system, because I still had some residual horniness left and that wasn't good) I should probably get started now because it would probably take longer this time. So I did.

It wasn't as good as the first one, but they never are - are they? But it still felt #*$%ing good. It felt like freedom. Freedom from having my sexual release, my sexual pleasure, determined by my wife. She doesn't want to have sex with me unless she wants to have sex with me, and she doesn't want me to masturbate unless she's doing the same (because she doesn't want penetrative sex, but she's horny). And like any slave, once I got a taste of freedom I wanted more. Just before midnite (while my daughter was asleep) I masturbated for a fourth time.

Four times in one day - it was like I was a teenager again!

I only jacked off twice on Friday, but on Saturday morning my daughter went to friends house for a sleep over so as you can imagine it became a bit of a PornFest. Or should that be a WankFest? Either way I kinda wore myself out so today is a rest day. As it will be tomorrow (today, if you're reading this) since my wife returns in the evening and god forbid she might be horny herself and expect me to fuck her. Imagine if I couldn't perform because I'd wanked myself silly while she was gone?

Mind you, writing this post has reminded me of all the self pleasure I've enjoyed these past few days and I'm kinda hard again. Maybe I should 'relieve the pressure' again, now, quickly, lest I get super-horny tomorrow and can't stop myself? Maybe I should drain my balls of all that dirty cum right now, rather than risk having blue balls tomorrow and doing something silly - like jerking off an hour before my wife gets home because I can't take it any more?

Yeah, best I do it now, for the good of our marriage...

click here for more (much more!) 

PS - I might try my hand at erotic fiction for next Monday's post?!


  1. Welcome to Masturbation Monday, and you've entered with a bang (I like it!). Hell no, 9am isn't too early (I've been known to do it at 5am) and four times in one day sounds LOVELY. :)

    1. Thanks. In my next life I'm definitely coming back as a woman. The idea of being able to masturbate as often as I want holds great appeal - for men there can be a physical impediment to multiple orgasms, unlike women.
      I'll probably be a cam-girl so I can do it all day... seriously, I don't know how women manage to keep their hands off themselves all the time. :D


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