Tuesday, November 29, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 29, 2016 ~ Love, Emotion, & Trust

1. What would you do to leave a great impression with a person on your first date?
~ Listen to what she's saying and ask her about herself. Be polite to others. Don't be too oddball, weird, or wacky too soon! But show some humor.

2. Do you usually follow your heart or your head?
~ Heart. It has been my undoing at times.

3. If your significant other told you to jump off a tall cliff and told you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust your s.o. and jump?
~ Notwithstanding my answer to #2 above: NO! I would hate to jump and on my way down see her new lover at the bottom of the cliff holding up a sign saying "Sucker!"

4. How do you support your significant other?
~ Not financially, since she is the rich one. I support her by doing all the things stay-at-home-moms have typically done for their high powered husbands. Luckily we have a cleaner so it's not too bad.

5. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel loved?
~ Sex ranks highly. Regular readers will have picked up that I get most depressed about our relationship when my wife doesn't want to have sex with me (when there's no obvious reason why not). I often seem invisible to my wife too - she can seem oblivious to my wants and needs (not just sexually) or not notice things I've done (often for her). Last week I got a haircut (from long to short) and she took two days to notice it. That may seem minor but c'mon - if you get a major haircut and she doesn't notice it then clearly she's not seeing you.
And yes, I realize that I've responded to this question by answering how I feel when I'm un-loved instead of how I feel loved. What would Freud say? Or Kingsey?

6. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel respected?
~ Acknowledgement. As I said in #5, I got a haircut and she didn't even notice. It was for a BNG event on Saturday we had to attend (ie something for her) and yet she was so wrapped up in herself she missed it. She did notice the costume I'd created for the event, so maybe that diverted her attention? It had a military theme so I went out to a military store and bought some gear - I looked like someone from SEAL Team 6 circa Desert Storm. She said I looked fantastic (and I did!) and yet there is not one single photo of us together at the event. She took selfies with other people during the night, but not me. I'm just not on her radar - there is nothing for her to 'gain' by taking a photo with me, I'm 'just' her husband, there is no 'networking value' from having a photo with me. Which is dumb because any Personal Brand Manager will tell you that sharing photos of yourself with your happy smiley significant other (especially when he looks 'hot' - as some women at the party commented) plays really well on Social Media. Maybe she doesn't want people to know she is married?
And yes, I've answered in the negative again, haven't I? Let's just say I don't feel respected much. 

7. Can you have emotional intimacy without physical intimacy? Explain.
~ You must be able to, because we aint having much physical intimacy! One thing my wife acknowledged during the two different couples counselling sessions we did (at different times, a few years back) was that I 'get' her. She said I was the only one who truly knew her and what she was like 'underneath'. I guess that's because she maintains a facade with most people, but with me she can let her guard down. Sometimes when she's really drunk she will (on our way home, or later in bed) laugh about someone she knows or met that night and say things like "if they only knew..."
My wife is hardly Alexis Carrington in 'Dynasty' but she didn't get ahead in business by not smiling to your face while planning your execution. One of the reasons we are still together is that I have been my wife's longest and most loyal and trusted confidante. I know her dark side and all her secrets (well, not all of them obviously) and she feels safe to show me her 'evil side' (as she puts it when she's drunk: "everyone thinks I'm this really nice person but I'm not! haha!"). 
For my part I don't really feel emotionally connected to my wife at the moment.

Bonus: In 2016, what was your most conflicted emotional moment?
~ I guess it would have been the time my wife told me to "fuck off then... get the fuck out if that's what you think" and meant it. She was drunk (but denied it), we'd been bar-hopping with her BNG pals for 6 hours - and then I had the temerity to say I wanted to go home. Home being our hotel room since we were in a foreign city. This annoyed her greatly and I got a good insight into how she felt about me and how she saw the power dynamic in our relationship. (Read the full story here)

Double Bonus: A question for you in The Bloggers NSFW dilemma


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 28, 2016

The Bloggers NSFW dilemma

Every time I look at my own blog I see this in a column on the right hand side, and it's driving me nuts:

This screenshot doesn't do the image justice - it's a moving gif image and the cock is pulsing and squirting cum. Sure, it's an okay image to illustrate the post's subject matter but when I see it every day on the side of my screen when I scroll down... well, it's a bit icky much isn't it?

The dilemma arises because the Blogger algorithm has placed it at the top of the 'Popular Posts' column. Is it a popular post because of what I wrote about or because of the image I used to illustrate it? I want to change the image to something less in-your-face but if I do so am I removing what resonated with readers? Or maybe the image has nothing to do with it - maybe the post was just popular because I cross posted it to the Masturbation Monday site and a whole bunch of their readers checked me out?

Dilemmas dilemmas.

Let me know your opinion in the comments section below and maybe I'll swap out the image for something less confronting. (You can see the actual post here) Let me know too your thoughts in general on NSFW images. I know this is meant to be a sex blog, but some people still don't like seeing too much hardcore stuff in blogs...

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Trump is always thinking two steps ahead, riiiight?

via Instagram

and since this is meant to be a sex blog here again is the sexy gorgeous beautiful former model Melania (I have to be careful not to objectify her now she's the new First Lady, she deserves respect):

The Dark Side of Porn: The Real Animal Farm

Let's start with an obvious disclaimer: this post is about a pornographic video, not the classic book by George Orwell. I haven't read the book, but I have seen the video. I saw it in the late 80s and it was my first and only experience with bestiality. It was repulsive yet compelling - like 2 Girls 1 Cup I couldn't stomach what I was seeing and yet I couldn't look away.

So why blog about it? Because I just read an article about it (link removed) which led me to the Wikipedia page about the woman that made the video in 1970. Yes, that's right: a young Danish woman who loved animals made these videos of her own free will and then sold them to a distributor. Denmark had very liberal pornography laws back then and the videos were not illegal, as they were in most other countries around the world. Coincidentally, the tape I saw was a copy that came to me via some local police officers. They had confiscated the VHS tape (ha! remember them?) from some pervert, but then made copies themselves that they passed around to friends.

I recall when I first watched the video (the only time I watched it) how dumbstruck I was to see a woman having sex with animals. I wondered if she was mentally disturbed, or a junkie, or had been exploited in some other way by a pimp. I had no way of knowing, but now, decades later, I've finally learnt the story of Bodil Joensen, the woman who made Animal Farm. The story of her life and upbringing is awful, so one possibly shouldn't be surprised she found it possible to make animal porn.

(And when I said she made the videos of her own free will I meant it with the caveat: what free will did she really have? I'm no doctor but I believe she had mental health issues from the beginning.)

The saddest thing was how she was so exploited by so many different people once she made the video. In the video below (a documentary, not the porno) you will see a variety of men who claimed to be her friend but were just the opposite. I was left feeling they all needed a swift kick in the balls, and then when they'd recovered from that maybe a good smashing in the face to instil some permanent damage. And I should punch myself in the balls too, because I also watched it**.

Also sad is that in the early 1970s, when the first movie came out, she was feted as an avant-garde empowered woman and became a minor sex celebrity. It took a while before anyone called "Bullshit!" and recognised what was happening to her.

** I almost tried to defend myself by saying I only watched it 15 years after the porno had been made (late 80s) but that's kinda the same as people who wear leopard skin coats trying to claim the animal was dead anyway or it's a 'vintage' coat and it would dishonor the animal's death to get rid of the coat now)

From Wikipedia:  Bodil Joensen
Her mother was often physically abusive, sometimes violently so, and would whip her. At the age of 12, she was raped by a stranger in a railway station. On returning home to tell her mother, she was beaten and blamed for the incident. Seeking a means to retaliate, she vowed to her mother that when she grew up she would have sex with boars, commenting in a later interview that her mother was "so shocked, she thought I was allied to the Devil". Turning to animals for affection, her dog became her best friend, companion and lover, and she wore a locket with his picture for the rest of her life.

Initially, after leaving home at 15, Joensen found work on a farm in a conservative area of Denmark. Her landlord, the farmer Gunnar Nielsen, commented, "She was passionate about animals." He added that she was entranced by the sight of animals breeding, an activity she stated she found "wonderful" to help with. She later left to set up her own breeding farm, "Insemination Central," which became popular through her ability to handle aggressive animals such as boars, but was then ruined by country gossip, spread principally by farmers' wives who were unhappy at the prospect of their husbands working with a young single girl on farm business. She commented later, "Nine out of ten men wanted to fuck me, and their wives hated me."

Launched in the context of a failing business and attempts to remain solvent in order to keep her livestock and home, her career in pornography began at age 17 when she appeared in "light fetish" pornography before establishing herself in the bestiality subgenre at around age 25. Between 1969 and 1972 she starred with animals in over 40 movies. The movie A Summer's Day (1971) was released in the U.S. as Animal Lover. She wrote a column answering readers' letters in SCREW magazine.

In this genre, Joensen drew special attention worldwide as The Boar Girl, a reputation earned from her live performances with swine, as well as her participation in films shot with pigs on her own breeding centre. The award-winning documentary Bodil Joensen - en sommerdag juli 1970 (1970), by Shinkichi Tajiri, shows her living with her animals on her farm during this era, including their care, her affection for them, and her sexual life. At the time, she lived with "two rabbits, seven dogs, a dozen pigs, some cats, a guinea pig, a mare and a beautiful black stallion named Dreamlight". 
Her Danish biographer commented later that she seemed a very open, warm-hearted person, "very at home with nature", and that "when she plays her erotic game with the dog or horse, it is not only a sexual curiosity, it is an erotic play with animals she loves and who are devoted to her". It was the surprising winner of the Grand Prize of the Wet Dream Film Festival in Amsterdam, November 26–29, 1970, where it premiered. Joensen immediately became an underground celebrity, and drew attention from other documentary makers as well as tourists towards her expanding farm. 
By the early 1970s, Joensen had managed to achieve her goal of living on her own farm with her daughter (born c. 1972), as well with her companion/partner. Some refer to Knud Andersen as a companion, some as a partner, one suggests platonic friendship. In The Dark Side of Porn: The Real Animal Farm, Joensen is quoted as saying "I'm bored when I'm alone, and so is he, so we're good company for each other." Joensen helped finance the farm by allowing sex tourists to visit it and make private films with her animals. 
Friends say she was "easily exploited by almost anyone with a camera" and that the visitors "just wanted pornography, they didn't care about knowing her". Neighbours, once friendly, turned dark and hostile, forcing her to move repeatedly. As the Danish adult industry began looking to other content, Joensen failed to make the transition from porn to other movies, and her financial stability and life began to fall apart. After 1972, she experienced a sharp deterioration, undergoing very obvious physical and psychological changes, including depression, first working as a "live show" and "sexual roleplay" girl. By 1980, with little remaining means of income and spiralling debt, the only work she was able to retain was a hectic routine of small scale live shows most evenings.  
Joensen commented in a 1980 interview: “ Things went completely out of hand when my dog 'Spot' died. I started drinking and eating excessively. I've never been able to talk to other girls, I've always been with men. 'Spot' was my female friend. She understood what I said. When we were alone in the house without light and heat we went to bed together. Shared a biscuit. And then we talked, until we fell asleep. 'Spot' is the only living creature that has loved me for being just me. She didn't expect to get anything back. She soothed me when I was ill. I've experienced a lot with 'Lassie', and like him a lot. But it'll never be the same as with 'Spot'. Lassie has been unfaithful to me. He's an every-girls-dog. 'Spot' was mine. Completely mine. That's why I had such a shock when she died and started drinking, and eating myself fat in no time. I live with my man for 10 years and my eight-year-old daughter [yet] still I feel like the loneliest human being now that 'Spot' is dead. In those days I earned easy money in a tough line of work. I fell and fell. 'When will I reach the bottom?' I often ask myself these days.” 
Her life falling apart, Joensen became dependent on alcohol, and progressively less able to care for her animals. With little left, she turned to street prostitution to support herself, her partner (an alcoholic himself) and daughter, although friends comment that even then, she did not want to be with people this way – all she wanted was her animals, as it once had been. Resorting to exchanging any sexual favour for alcohol and tranquilizers, she stated in her final interview that "in my position it is hard to turn down anything, no matter how disgusting... for me, staying alive in the hooking business is hell". 
Joensen gave her last interview in 1980 and died in 1985.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

OPP: Confessions of an Adulteress ~ Part Three

I've become a fan of this blog by a married woman calling herself Luna Moon, detailing her adventures as a serial cheater. What I find so fascinating is her attitude to what she's doing, and I wish my wife could be so sexually open (but exclusively with me of course! is that possible?)

Anyway, here's a few more key excerpts from Luna Moon's blog that caught my attention. My responses are in italic.

Luna Moon prefers a dominant lover (model shown in photo, not Luna)

When he finally pulled up in his SUV and I got in, I got the usual rush I get when I see him. The anticipation. The knowledge that soon he'd be driving himself into me hard and deep. He backed the SUV into the farthest spot in the lot and lifted the back. We both climbed in and as the back closed electronically with a beep-beep, I was amused at how hot I got whenever I heard the sound of the back of his SUV opening and closing.

Drake and I have a complicated relationship. It started out as a Dominant/submissive relationship, but we ended up becoming such good friends that sometimes the D/s isn't as strong as it should be. I love the control he exerts over me when we have sex, but that power just doesn't seem to stretch beyond sex.

The hatch of the SUV had barely shut before he was pushing me onto my back and yanking off my pants and panties. He quickly stripped down to nothing and commanded me to suck on his cock. After a few sucks and strokes, he pulled me onto my knees and had me straddle him. I began to thrust myself against him and each deep penetration made me cry out. I love the cross between pain and pure lust. He pinched, twisted, and slapped my tits. I was extremely wet and a few times he slid right out of me.

"You're MY slut. You're MY whore. You like that I own you, don't you? You like being USED and FUCKED!" He fixed his piercing blue eyes on me and gave me a semi-crazed smile. "When I don't FUCK you enough, you stray and you want to FUCK other men!!"

He pulled out of me, got on his knees, and ordered me to play with my clit. I began rubbing my clit while he watched and continued to stroke his cock. He told me how much he loved to masturbate in front of me... and watch me masturbate. I came quickly and a second later he roughly pulled my head toward his cock and I took it in my mouth, feeling the cum run smoothly down the back of my throat. I licked off the few drops that remained on the head.

I love being used and fucked...  [more]

Jesus, Mary an Joseph! What can you say - that's a hot scene!
But I do note she is now seeing him more as a lover not a master, and that's gonna be a problem I suspect. I wonder where this is going? I love her Pavlovian response to the sound of the liftback closing on the SUV. Oh, to have that sexual power over a woman that she gets wet just thinking about sex with me.
I met Tony back in July through a G-rated website. He was in his early forties, handsome and athletic.
We started slow. We finally moved into the delicate territory of our spouses. It figured that the All-American Boy would marry the Homecoming Queen. The only problem was that the Homecoming Queen had morphed quickly into the Ice Queen once they had been married for a few years.

He definitely had a very powerful love-hate relationship with his wife. Sometimes he was close to spitting when he talked about her shortcomings - which appeared to be many. I asked him why he stayed and he admitted that if they didn't have two beautiful little boys, he would have left a long time ago. He had to practically beg her to have sex.... [more]

I've left out the sex bits to focus on Tony and his wife. It's depressing to think that a handsome and athletic guy can't get laid - what hope is there for me? I'm neither handsome or athletic, and I'm overweight. Okay, I'm not hideous and I used to be considered handsome so maybe if I lost a few pounds (15-20!) I'd be ... who am I kidding? I eat when I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I can't get laid. Even my wife doesn't want me. I definitely have love/hate feelings for her when I've got blue balls. painfully blue balls. I'm fairly sure that if we didn't have a daughter we wouldn't be together by now. I'm not sure which one of us would have said "Enough!" first.  :(


Saturday, September 24, 2011 ~ Tony - My All-American Guy ~ Part II

Sex with Tony had been a mind-blowing experience. He had told me that he was very oral and he didn't disappoint. At the pub we had discussed anal sex and I had told him how much I enjoyed it. I didn't disappoint in that area. Overall, it was a hot hour and since we had spent so much time seducing each other at the pub, we had little time left for fun! At the pub a few weeks earlier, we had discussed him photographing me as well as golden showers. We both had only one experience with golden showers and wanted to try it again.
I arrived at his house at the appointed time and... [more]

Sorry to tease you but I want to make sure you actually click on her blog, and not just skim through my excerpts. Luna Moon really is a hot slut. I can say that because that's how she describes herself - as you'll discover in the next part. 


OPP = Other People's Posts

OPP: Confessions of an Adulteress ~ Part Four

Friday, November 25, 2016

Red Latex for Fetish Friday on Black Friday

via Instagram

Red Latex for Fetish Friday on Black Friday - not that I'm buying!
(and I'm not so keen on those shoes either)

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 22, 2016 ~ Sexy Is As Sexy Does

Internet capabilities have taken sex as a social tool to a whole new level.

1. How often do you sext?
~ Never. I've tried in the past but my wife doesn't like to. But she has the Snapchat app on her phone, which I don't understand - she's never Snapchatted me. I thought that was the ideal app for sexting since it auto deletes your rude texts and images?

2. How many dick pics have you sent in the last 3 months? 6 months? Year?
~ Probably one. In my life. No one has ever asked for one. The woman online I was mutually flirting with said "Oh, that escalated quickly" when I sent it. I had to apologize, as I'd misread her request. She was good about it.

3. Do you prefer to send pics of your boobs or your vajayjay (a.k.a. pussy, in case you didn’t know)?
~ I will take what I can get ladies! Email away!! (Thanksgiving is almost here - give me something to be thankful for)

4. Do you prefer to receive pics of boobs or a woman’s genitals?
~ I will take what I can get ladies! Email away!! (Xmas is almost here - give to the less fortunate ie me!)

5. Dick pics, do you really think they are sexy?
~ Whilst I can appreciate a good looking dick when I see one, having seen so many ugly ones while watching porn they don't do anything for me and I can imagine women don't really want to see them, so I don't send them.

6. Do you send unsolicited pics of your genitals?
~ No. And if I did send one that had been solicited I'd have to be very certain the recipient was female. Lonely gay men on Snapchat must be having a field day with their fake female profiles. "You look hot big boy, why don't you show me if you're circumsized or uncircumsized?"

7. Are you more impressed and willing to get to know, meet-up with, date, or have sex with someone who presents a “good dick pic” or “nice tits” pic?
~ Probably, it's biology isn't it? I did an experiment a few years back with my Facebook profile pic. Women were definitely more responsive to the 'good looking' images than the 'real' ones.

Bonus: Just how sexy are you?
~ I used to be very sexy. I posted some old photos to my other Facebook profile recently (the one my wife is not on) (that's a long story, have I told you about it? it's not what you think!) and the reaction was quite... erm... flattering. Honestly, I've never had so many favorable comments from women about me on FB in yearsBecause I used to be a sexy attractive man. Now I am middle aged and overweight.

Double Bonus: Here's what we got up to on the weekend: Failure To Fly

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 21, 2016

Failure To Fly

So we had sex last Thursday night and I did my job - pretty well it seems. Except for the one small task I failed to complete - filling her with my hot sticky cum. It went down like this:

We've previously agreed to 'scheduled sex' in order to maintain sexual intimacy and sexual frequency. Without it it's too easy to fall into the trap of not having sex on a regular basis - not that you you want sex to be 'routine' - but then you also don't want to start skipping it because you're really tired or have something important early in the morning. Obviously if you really are really tired then you shouldn't have to force yourself but let's be honest - how many times have you put off sex simply because you don't feel in the mood, but once you get started you start to get into it?

my wife wears something like this to bed - but it's less see-thru!
Most therapists advise couples to 'make an effort' (ie don't just say 'not tonight') on the basis that you need to 'use it or lose it'. Libidos often die of neglect. Anyway, back to me...

We didn't have our midweek sex on Wednesday and my wife was going out on Thursday night for some board dinner so I figured I'd be going without until maybe Saturday or Sunday night. So I figured I needed to take matters into my own hands, so to speak, and resolve the 'issue' myself. So I did. Which is why I was surprised to see my wife home by 9.30pm - she normally doesn't come home until 10.30 - 11.30pm.

She got undressed in the ensuite, telling me about her day as she did so. I wasn't really listening too intently because she was naked, aside from a pair of slingback heels, red lipstick, and some diamond earrings. She looked hot AF and had no idea as she babbled away. When she reached for her nightgown I grabbed her quickly and nuzzled the back of her neck as I feathered a few kisses on her.

"No" she protested "at least let me take my makeup off"

"You always do that" I argued, "how come I never get you in bed looking as good as you do for everyone else?"

Yes, I see now as I write it that it could have been taken the wrong way but luckily my wife knew what I meant. She gave me her you're-the-biggest-child-in-this-house grin and told me she'd be along in a minute then, and could I go downstairs and bring the dog back inside the house. So I did, and three minutes later I was springing up the stairs to our bedroom. I was genuinely surprised to see her in bed already, but pleasantly so because she was still in her hair and makeup - in fact I think she had even re-applied her lipstick! She looked very sexy in the dimmed light and I leaned down from her bedside and kissed her. Softly at first and then more deeply.

It wasn't long before she lifted the covers back to reveal she was completely naked, and she gave me a gentle nudge 'down there'. I was more than happy to oblige and she enjoyed it immensely. She moved my head this way and that, mostly toward her so she could grind herself harder against me! She held my head still as she came, before tossing me aside like a Halloween pumpkin on November 1st. I pulled up beside her and started fingering her pussy and clit. before cupping her vulva in my hand as she ground again into my fingers. She placed her hand over mine and pulled my hand harder and deeper into her as she came again.

She then rolled over and assumed the doggy position - head down and ass up. "Okay, stick it in and fill me up, c'mon..." she commanded. I did as asked but no amount of pounding her ass was going to get me off. I'd cum that afternoon already, and besides (or should I say, more importantly), I had a headache that could split the Titanic. Sure, my dick and balls were feeling good, but my head was in agony. WTF was I thinking by flirting with my wife when she got home? I already had the headache back then and those Tylenol I took when I brought the dog back in the house hadn't worked.

I soldiered on but eventually the pain in my head overtook the pleasure in my cock and I had to stop. Naturally this perturbed my wife, who always worries I'm going to have a brain aneurism while we have sex anyway, so I lied and said I was fine. She immediately started giving me a handjob to try and get me off but that didn't work either. It felt damn good, it felt like I was almost about to cum, but after a few minutes it was obvious I wasn't.

She stopped, kissed me on the cheek, patted me 'thank you' on the shoulder, and told me it had been good for her - before rolling over to go sleep, leaving me to stare in the dark at the ceiling as I rubbed both temples.


Women take it personally if you don't cum - they never think you might have a medical problem or they didn't give you enough foreplay
Saturday night's sex followed the same pattern as Thursdays, with the exception that my headache wasn't so severe. Which meant I was able to cum - yippee! But it took a long time for me to cum. My wife rode me cowgirl style after she'd gotten hers, but then when that failed to pop my cork she eventually grabbed the lube again and slicked up my stiff cock with the cool gel before jacking me to a climax. But as I said it took a while and she only got me off with her dirty talk:

She lay with her head on my stomach, jerking my cock and imploring me to cum fire a big load in her mouth. She was begging for it. That graduated into asking me to splatter her face with my cum, which is definitely new - she's never asked me for that before. Maybe she was just trying to get me off* but as it seemed more likely she was about to get a big load in her face the more she would beg for it. I took over hand duties as she cupped my balls, opened her mouth wide, and told me how badly she wanted to feel those hot jets of cum firing into her mouth and all over her face.

What's a boy to do when he hears a request like that? Torpedoes away!!


Lunchtime Sunday and the headaches returned, in force. I sat in a dark room for hours but the pain was intense. I've never had Migraines before but this is what I imagine they feel like. Sharp/dull piercing pains. By the end of the afternoon/early evening I was in such pain I went to the Emergency Room but we turned back en route when the piercing pain gave way to a dull throbbing. I presume I'm not dying, since it got better. 

This morning I was well enough to smash this out.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Evening wear for a Night Out Clubbing on Fetish Friday

via Instagram

If you ditched the gloves you could totally wear this out to a (mainstream) club or bar if you wanted. This is not the best example either (I have some of those coming) but latex and rubberwear designers are coming up with stuff now that has total crossover appeal - you no longer have to look like you're on your way to a dungeon anymore. And as this image shows, you just need to add a few simple accessories (gloves in this case) and {voila!} you are ready for a dungeon or sex club!

(Okay, the collar might be a bit BDSM but if you've got it - flaunt it!)

It happens every week! #fetishfriday

via Instagram

So... which one (if any)  would you like to wear?
#1 is Top Left and #6 is Bottom Right (and #3 [Top Right] are the same outfits as #1)
And... which pair would you like to join for a 3way?

Thursday, November 17, 2016

What was the '+1' in Monday's post all about?

Monday's post was called MM - Mutual Masturbation +1 but it was so long I never got to the '+1' part. Actually I'd forgotten about it completely, until I cross posted it to the Masturbation Monday site, and then I was like "Oh yeah, that happened..."

So in MM - Mutual Masturbation +1 I recounted how I'd plan to have sex with my wife but due to her period I couldn't, so we engaged in... (did the title give it away?) ...a little mutual masturbation instead. (With a little oral as the starter). It was good but on Sunday morning I woke up feeling still horny. Note I said 'still horny' and not 'feeling horny'. I've become aware that even when I have great sex and had a great orgasm(s) I am always still horny later. Always!

I figure it's because I'm often horny but have to repress myself due to my wife's low libido; so when I do actually cum the floodgates are open and I just want more. This often means that hours after having sex I am in my office watching porn/reading erotica and jerking off. Am I an orgasm addict? A chronic masturbator? Damned if I know, I'm no psychologist.  

Before I got my hands on Playboy (and before 'graduating' to Penthouse) as a young boy
this was all I could jerk off to: lingerie ads in my mother's magazines. Dad had no porn.
Either way, this meant that I was in my basement office at 9am on Sunday (waking up early is another symptom of what I call 'residual horniness') and telling myself I couldn't look at any porn until I'd done my 'chores' ie writing up Monday's post first. The problem was (and this happens all the time) when I recount a sexual encounter with my wife I get aroused again. This time was no different, in fact it was worse. Not only had I written it up but I also then had to find pictures to illustrate it. Normally I just grab one or two images but this time I ended up with over a dozen - hence yesterdays pictorial post!

So my cock was once again rock hard and starting to throb in my pyjama pants, due to being in a constant state of arousal for an hour. I hadn't quite finished the layout but I had a reasonable draft so I thought now was as good a time as any to 'take a break' and 'reward myself' for my diligent efforts. I pulled up a hidden window on my browser, from the last time I'd been reading Literotica (checking out what my wife had been reading) and there were the 10 unread stories (in different tabs) from the last time. 

I thought I should read rather than watch porn because I had no idea what time my daughter would wake up, and my worst nightmare would be her waking up and hearing her father watching some porn in the basement as she came down for breakfast. Well, brunch really, since she rarely wakes up before 10 or 11 on weekends.

{Irony alert: it is at this point of drafting today's post that I got bored and decided to masturbate instead, so back to Literotica I go*... I shall return when done!}

Anyway, I started reading various stories, stroking my cock but not quite getting off. I heard my wife come downstairs and fix herself something to eat. I kept reading, with one ear open in case she came downstairs to the basement office, but she didn't because she had her laptop with her in the living room. So I kept reading, and then I heard my daughter come downstairs and fix herself something to eat as well. I kept reading, with one ear open in case she came downstairs to the basement office, but I knew she wouldn't because she never comes down. Well, hardly ever, which meant I still had to keep one ear open.

So this led to quite a lot of 'edging'. I would get close to cumming, then I would hear a noise, or the two of them talking, then it would be quiet again so I would continue reading, then I would get close to cumming, then I would hear a noise, or the two of them talking, then it would be quiet again so I would continue reading... and so it went. The whole time my cock is 'fat' ie either rock hard or 'plump' and always close to coming. I was pretty much jacking it constantly.

I read a lot of stories: 'Loving Wives' (hot wives having sex with other men while the husband watched/participated), 'Gangbangs' (we all know those ones), 'Interracial' (white woman [sometimes a 'wife'] discovers big black cock and goes crazy for it), 'Group Sex' (we all know those, usually 3way or 4way Swingers), and I even read a few 'Cuckold' stories (husband get's 'sloppy seconds' [or nothing] after hot wife has been out slutting with other men - often forced [often happily] to eat the other man's cum from his wife's pussy afterwards) even though I normally don't read that genre.

"If she thinks I'm going to eat her out now, she's dreaming" thought Nero, bitterly
I normally don't read that genre because it's not my cup of tea at all, yet this time I was in such a state of arousal I managed to push past the ick factor (swallowing another man's sperm? ugh!) (I wouldn't even swallow my own, actually) and just enjoy the fucking. There's another genre my wife is into: 'Taboo' (code for incest fantasy, where the relatives are all over 18) and I read some of those too. But I was reading mother/son stuff (son comes home from college no longer the kid he was when he left, reminding widow of her long dead husband, lust ensues) and sibling relationships gone awry; not the father/daughter (or uncle/daugher, or grandpa/granddaughter) stuff which my wife prefers and I don't.

I have a daughter so that is completely icky to me, and by the same token I think sex with my mother would be gross ... but yet I can read a mother/son story - so it's quite a bizarre genre isn't it? Bizarre but very popular, according to the stats. I guess that's why it's called 'incest fantasy' - very few people really want to have sex with a sibling or relative but the stories can be so hot. I guess after all it's the last nasty sex taboo, since we've pretty much all tried some form of anal play at some stage haven't we? The only other taboo I can think of is fisting, but that really doesn't work as erotic fiction does it? It's much more of a visual medium and even then you can only watch so much before you feel squeamish...

But I digress... so I read all these stories, always edging on cumming just as I hear noises on the floor above me. And then I looked at the clock on my laptop for the first time: it was 2pm!! WTF? Two thoughts hit me: 1] I'd been reading porn for 4+ hours, with a hard dick and no orgasm, and 2] neither my wife or daughter had any interest in where I was or what I was doing - talk about a dysfunctional family! And no, I don't think either of them thought I was downstairs jerking off, they simply just didn't care because they were online in their own little worlds themselves.

It's also quite likely that my wife was reading Literotica herself since that's what she often does when she's having her period. That's the only time when her iPad reappears, since in recent months she's always using her laptop instead now. Or possibly she's reading Kindleporn on her iPad, which is the same thing really. But I see I've digressed again...

So I realise I've wasted half a day reading dirty stories online and I have better things to do, but I still have a massive hard on and a very strong desire to cum. I resolve to read one last story and this time to 'finish' regardless - no more distractions!! So I'm jacking my cock, speed reading the story (ie skipping the plot and just fast forwarding to the sex bits) and I hear some movement above me, but I've heard that movement all day so I ignore it, and then I can feel 'it' boiling in my balls, this time I'm going to cum, and... I hear footsteps on the stairs above me - someone is coming down!

{The following all happens within 10 seconds - I think/act quickly!}

But I'm so fucking close I can't stop... besides, I've always fantasized about my wife catching me masturbating (as in leading to something better) so I carry on... but what if it's my daughter? WTF?... but I can't stop, I AM SO CLOSE! ... I know they're at the halfway point on the stairs so I can finish, I'm sure of it... I do finish, it's like a Supernova, my orgasm explodes with hyperintensity but is over as quickly as it came... the cum squirts up high and falls back in my hand, I'm careful not to let it go anywhere else... I use my other hand and squeeze my balls and force it out, wringing out the last of my orgasm... I'm quitting the window on my laptop and hopping like a kangaroo to the bathroom (next to our basement office), my pants still around my ankles... I sit on the toilet, grab some tissue, and sigh with relief at my lucky escape.



My wife is pulling open the door from the movie room side (the bathroom sits between it and the office)... "What? I'm in here!" I cry out, with a wad of toilet paper in one hand trying to push my semi hard cock back down between my legs "-what do you want?" My wife shuts the door immediately, and I know she didn't see anything. "Sorry!" she apologizes "I didn't know".

I cleaned myself up but remained there for another minute or two to compose myself. After I cum I always have what I call "the moment of clarity". It's that moment you have after you have the orgasm you so desperately wanted - but then you're thinking "why did I just screw my girlfriend's friend?" or "why did I just fuck that work colleague I'm gonna have to see again on Monday" or "why did I just cheat on my wife/husband?" You wanted it so so bad and yet now you've had it you're thinking "why was I so reckless, was it worth it?"

I know I've fantasised about my wife catching me masturbating (and it leading to something sexier) but in that split second she started opening the door I realized in real life there is nothing hot about catching your husband on the toilet with his cock out and his pants around the ankles. In that same split second I also realized that even though I knew with 99.9% certainty that my daughter never comes downstairs it wasn't worth it for the .01% chance she might.

Maybe I am an orgasm addict? Maybe I am a chronic masturbator? Maybe I just need to limit myself to times I know everyone is out of the house...?

That's why they call it solo time...


[Update: I still haven't explained the +1 have I? That's because this post took a whole different turn from what I thought I was going to write. The +1 simply refers to the fact that I jerked off again (solo) on Sunday, after the mutual masturbation session with my wife on Saturday afternoon. I thought I was just going to talk about how I like to masturbate solo after (but not immediately after) I've had sex with my wife. But instead of writing about 'the joys of masturbation' I've written about 'the angst of masturbation'. Ha! So typical of me!!)

* Below is a small excerpt of what I read when I took that 'Literotica break' I talked about earlier. It's called She Strips To Conquer by pixandwords. You can find the full story here. Pixandwords are actually a couple who write erotic stories together, and they're great (all with high reader scores, if you don't believe me!)

© pixandwords

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Monday's post: replayed in Pictures only

I had such trouble finding the perfect images to illustrate Monday's post before deadline I thought I'd try again - but this time without all that annoying text. So here it is again in pictorial form only - enjoy!

While in the shower I got hard thinking about fucking my wife
I decided I wanted to fuck her in that sweet ass
I figured if I ate her out really really well she'd let me, right?

turned out I couldn't 'cos she had her period so I decided
to cum on her ass instead, and she happily obliged
crunch time came and I almost rammed it in...

It was great, but I decided next time I'd take it a step further and ask her to finger herself in the butt for me

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 15, 2016 ~ Shoes & Money

1. Who's shoes would you like to fill today?
~ Donald Trump's. I didn't vote for him (don't get me started!) but it sure would be fun to be in his shoes right now. The first thing I'd probably do would be to kick off those shoes and have sex with Melania. (In this fantasy I imagine I'm inhabiting his body and no-one knows he is really me) The second thing I'd do would be to announce that instead of scrapping Obamacare I'm going to accelerate the expansion plan and get more people covered. Then I'd bring back the Glass Steagall Act... and then back to bed with Melania.

2. What is the next big dollar purchase you are planning to make?
~ We are currently deciding the 2017 Travel Budget: Mexico in February, Tokyo in April, Tuscany in September, and we're arguing over where to go in June/July. First World problems, right? :(

3. You have $100,000 to spend on friends. How would you spend it?
~ We're meeting two other couples for two weeks in Tuscany in 2017 so I suppose we could pick up the tab? Or maybe throw a big Xmas party and invite lots of friends for a festive bacchanal?

4. You have $5,000 to spend on your significant other. How would you spend it?
~ When we were 'middle income' I splashed out and bought her a $4,000 diamond ring. It was an expensive purchase for me and yet she lost it in a hotel room because she thought it would be safe to leave it lying around because even though the maids were working minimum wage in a 3rd World Country we were in a 5 Star hotel and no-one would take it, surely? I was very pissed off and that was the end of grand gifts from me.

They say 'Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend!' - my wife sure loves them 
Then about five years later when we were 'upper middle income' I splashed out and bought her a $5,000 diamond ring. Except I didn't actually buy her a ring, instead I took her into Tiffanys and said "honey I love you, it's our anniversary, I've got $5,000 and I want you to choose yourself a ring, anything you like..."  She said "squeeee!" and looked through every ring in the store until she found the one she loved. Except it was $10,000. 

"I've only got $5,000" I said sheepishly, to which she replied "It's my birthday next month, maybe you could buy it for me as a combined anniversary/birthday gift?" I looked at her as if she was crazy - she knew I didn't have a job, because we had agreed I would stay home and be the house husband for our daughter while my wife climbed the corporate ladder. "And it could be my Xmas gift toooooo!" she pleaded.

Having announced the grand gesture it was hard to walk away from it now, so I relented and said yes. "Squeeee!" said my wife. "There's just one more I should show you" said the sales assistant, and brought out a $16,000 ring. My wife loved it, but now wanted to see what else was in that price range. She finally settled on a $20,000 ring. WTF? There was no way I could afford that! No problem, said my wife, she would pay the other $10,000 - and did. I had to split my half over two credit cards, while she just slapped down her Titanium card and said "charge the rest"
When we got home she gleefully showed off her ring and told all our friends I had paid for it. All our friends knew I couldn't afford it and I felt like a complete schmuck.

So, in answer to the question: if I had $5,000 to spend on my significant other I'd save it until I had another $5,000, and then save that too until I had another $10,000. 

5. What is your favorite waste of time ?
~ I like mooching around the house, watching TV, masturbating, and I spend too much time on Facebook. All to stop from dwelling on my dysfunctional marriage with my wife. 

Bonus: Tell us about the most mischievous thing you did as a kid.
~ Starting up the School Bus and driving it a block up the street. (The driver had taken a toilet break, and left the keys and us kids on the bus). When the driver came back no-one said a word, including the driver because that would get him in trouble too.

Double Bonus: Here's what we got up to on the weekend: MM - Mutual Masturbation +1

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 14, 2016

MM - Mutual Masturbation +1

MM actually stands for 'Masturbation Monday', an online meme similar to 'TMI Tuesday' (tune in tomorrow for that). But MM also stands for Mutual Masturbation so I guess I'm hitting two birds with one stone today. Or three birds if you count my own personal meme 'We Had Sex'...

It went down like this:

Despite our agreement to have sex twice weekly to retain intimacy; that has pretty much fallen by the wayside and I'm again lucky to get it once a week - and sometimes only twice a month. We had sex the Sunday before last but Wednesday rolled by with nothing. On Friday night we went to dinner and a movie, a date of sorts, but when we got home we watched TV until 2am - catching up on Samantha Bee. WTF - how did that happen?

So on Saturday I decided it was probably time I manned up and got a bit more assertive, otherwise we'd just be watching her favorite shows TV again. Or on our devices Facebooking. I knew we had a dinner that evening with her folks so I figured today was the day: yes, a daylight fuck! A very risky maneuver but the alternative was becoming a penitent monk. I knew my wife was downstairs in the movie room working out on the stepper, and she would finish with some pilates on her yoga mat.

If I looked like this I wouldn't have to hatch cunning plans...
my wife would be all over me, all the time!
So I got the clippers out and trimmed my beard, and then continued (with a bigger comb) over my chest. And then my balls and my dick. I wasn't hairless, but I was perfectly manscaped. I jumped in the shower and got hard straight away as I soaped myself and hatched a plan of attack. As I stroked my slippery dick I decided I wanted another crack at her ass. The last time we'd done anal it had gone really well, and obviously the key was to get her really horney and use lots of lube.

I imagined fingering her pussy until she was really wet, then nestling down between her spread legs, pushing her thighs over my shoulder, and gently running my tongue around her lips before homing in on her clit. I'd eat out her juicy cunt and then when she'd cum I'd get up, lube my cock, and then enter her tight back passage as I held her ankles wide and allowed her to finger herself to another orgasm. As I imagined thrusting in and out of her dirty backdoor I realised I was soaping my cock with a little too much vigor and snapped back into reality.

My cock was purple and straining so hard my foreskin was hurting. It was rock hard, like concrete. It wouldn't take much more to be spurting hot jets of jizz against the shower wall and for a brief moment I considered doing exactly that. 'Just do it' I told myself 'get that orgasm you want, now, because you know later she's just going to turn you down - and then you'll be kicking yourself'. I was right. but I also knew I had to make the effort. I wanted badly to fuck her so...

It occurred to me that with all the manscaping and the showering it had been a while. Where was my wife? I had planned to be coming out of the shower as she was coming in, at which point I'd get back in and give her a good soaping to get her in the mood. We'd had shower sex before and there's nothing like running smooth slippery soaped up hands all over a body to get one in the mood. It didn't matter how hot the shower was, her nipples were always like hard bullets in my palms as I kneaded them mercilessly...

I wasn't planning to make love to her in the shower - just get her warmed up and then lead her to the bedroom for a good fucking. A good ass fucking... ...damn, where was she? Towelling myself off I slipped on some fresh pyjamas (even tho' it was 1pm) and headed downstairs. If the mountain wouldn't come to Muhammad... As I left the bathroom ensuite I spotted the beard trimmer and another wicked thought crossed my mind. I scooped it up and walked three flights downstairs to the movie room to see surprise my wife. Little did I know she had a surprise for me!

this is what her pussy looked like, after using the beard trimmer
I found her on the carpet, on her yoga mat, doing sit ups. I placed myself at her feet and stared at her. She tilted her head, took out her ear buds, and asked "what?" quizzically. "I had an idea" I replied, deadpan. "I bet you did" she fired back "it's the same idea you always have". I smiled and said: "this one is slightly different" and then held up the beard trimmer I'd been hiding behind my back. "What did you think you'd be doing with that?" she enquired. I thought the answer was obvious but I told her anyway: "I'm going to trim your pussy and then I'm going to spread your legs and then I'm going to eat you out"

"Really?" she said, defiantly. "Really!" I responded, as I started tugging at her yoga pants. "But I'm all sweaty" she said, nervously - while lifting her butt at the same time so I could shuck them off. "Doesn't worry me" I laughed, dragging her tight yoga pants down to her ankles. I briefly considered leaving them there, as 'restraints', but she started trying to kick them off so I pulled harder and tossed them to one side. I gazed down at her shapely legs, my eyes then travelling all the way up to her lightly thatched pussy.

"Surprise! Still want to?" she laughed as I spotted the telltale tampon string tailing out from between her cleft. "Doesn't worry me" I said, as I switched on the trimmer and started working on her already tidy bush. As I did so I realized there was no 'comb' on the trimmer, as I'd taken it off to clean it when I'd finished trimming my beard. I gingerly lifted the blade above her pubes so I wouldn't shave her bald (I didn't want to cut her). It took all of 60 seconds before my Type A wife grabbed the trimmer from my hand and said "Here, let me do it". She plowed the trimmer down in one quick thrust and the hair fell away.

"Couldn't wait for me to get waxed, huh?" she snorted "this is going to be prickly"

"I didn't plan on shaving it all off, I was just going to give you a trim" I explained.

"Well, it's all going now" she continued, as she deftly worked the trimmer up, down, and over her pussy. I had hoped for something more erotic but she was almost workmanlike and it was only another minute or two before it was all gone. She was completely bald! "Mmmmmm" I muttered. It only took me a second before my wife was squealing as I lifted her legs by the ankles, spread her wide, and dived down. "Is it scratchy?" she asked.

"It's fine" I told her, but truth be told it was. It wasn't smooth like a waxed pussy, it felt prickly - much like a man's unshaven face I presumed, since I've never kissed a man. I reached up and squeezed her breasts before dropping them back down to her pussy. Using my thumbs I pulled her lips up and apart, exposing her raw sex to me and moving the scratchy part away. My tongue circled her lips, before flattening out and massaging her clit. She moaned in appreciation and started squeezing her own tits as I felt her clit get harder.

It wasn't long before her hips were gyrating and she was moaning and pulling me deeper into her as she grinded her cunt against my face. Using both hands on the back of my head she pulled me deeper still, my tongue wide and flat, pressed hard against her clit. She came with a few quick grunts, her body shuddering beneath me as she rode out the last of her orgasm before finally releasing me. Her arms and head flopped to her sides and she sank back into the yoga mat.

"My turn" I said, after giving her a moment, and I sat back against the sofa. My feet were flat on the floor, my butt on the edge of her yoga mat, and I spread my knees wide, focussing attention on the erect cock sitting proudly between them. My wife scooted around, lying on her stomach in front of me, and tentatively leaned forward to lick me. Her tongue darted out like a lizard, dabbing at the pre-cum already tipping my prick. I'm not sure what she was expecting but it seemed to be to her liking and she started licking it in long strokes, before swallowing it whole. She slurped on it like a lollipop, before bobbing up and down, her head bouncing left and right.

when presented with a target as beautiful as this
I was more than happy to jizz over my wife's ass
I moaned in appreciation, telling her how good her warm wet mouth felt on my dick. For some reason she took that as her cue to release her oral hold on me, and replaced her mouth with her hand. She started jacking my cock for another minute, before swivelling around again until she was seated on her butt in front of me. She was now upright, mirroring my position, and she let go of her hand. "Jerk it for me" she instructed, as her own hand snaked down to her pussy.

Using one hand to support herself as she leaned back slightly, she spread her legs wider and started fingering her clit. I started pumping my cock, working it up and down, as I gazed down at her fingers doing the same to her wet folds. I licked my lips involuntarily, and then looked at my wife guiltily - I always felt embarrassed by my Pavlovian response to her pussy. I needn't have worried, she was staring at my cock, fixated, as my fingers flew up and down it's length.

"Mmmmmmm, where do you want it?" I teased, "tits or ass?"

"Oh yeah, all over my ass" she hissed, already turning herself around into the doggy position - head down and ass up in 2.0 seconds... I marvelled inwardly at how quick she responded. Her perfect butt was staring up at me, inches away. "Yeah, shoot that hot mess all in my ass crack" she said, as her fingers found their way back to the wet folds of her pussy "I want it in my ass".

My mind did a double take. Was she asking me to stick my cock in her ass, or just fire my load in there? This was a conundrum I'd confronted many times before, and once again I proceeded cautiously. Despite my initial plan (while showering) to fuck her ass, I realized we were three floors away from the lube and I wasn't going to try fucking her without it. And neither was I gonna risk losing the moment by running upstairs to get it. I decided to go with Plan B: talking dirty as if I was fucking her ass. It was something I'd done a week ago and it was a reasonable substitute.

I pressed my cock into the tight crevice of her upturned ass and began jacking, my knuckles smashing into her pussy lips below. Her fingers grazed my swinging balls as she frigged herself beneath me. "Mmmmm, baby, your ass is so delicious, the perfect bubble butt. I wanna fuck it so bad" I said. "I wanna stick my big meaty prick in there and pump your dirty asshole full of cum. Mmmmm, I bet it's so tight in there... I bet it won't take long before I'm spurting all up inside of you..."

My wife reached back with one hand and pulled herself wider, her other hand still fingering her clit. Her open asshole stared up at me and I was genuinely tempted to just stick my cock in there and fuck away. "Oh yes, that's it" I continued, "I'm gonna cum in there, open it up, I'm gonna fire my hot sticky cum right into your asshole..." She grabbed both cheeks with both hands and pulled herself wider still. "Yeah baby," she groaned "cum in my ass, cum all over my asshole"

Once again the conundrum: was she giving me permission to cum in her ass, or on it?

I licked my thumb and plunged it down into her gaping brown starfish, gripping her 'bowling ball style'. Her ass clamped around my thumb as she let go of her buttcheeks and resumed fingering her clit furiously. I was also jacking my stiff cock furiously and I could feel myself ready to blow. I told her as much at which point her asshole started flexing around my thumb. It was already tightly clamped, but now it was like she was doing kegels in her butt. She 'pumped' a few times before stopping, and I pulled my thumb out - had she done that for my benefit or for herself? Had she just orgasmed?

I had no idea, but now that my thumb was out she took the chance to swivel around and lie on her back. Lifting her knees up and spreading herself slightly she had one hand on her pussy and the other hand reached around to her asshole. Was she going to finger herself in the ass? I wanted her to, and I considered asking her to, but I didn't. She circled her finger around her butthole, lightly stroking the perineum, and rubbing her clit with the other hand. Again I considered asking her to stick her finger in her ass and again I didn't.

I didn't need to, I was cumming. With a loud grunting roar I thrust forward, poking my cock into her asshole ~just the tip!~ as I continued jacking my cock. My fist acted as a buffer, stopping me from 'accidentally' sliding into her back door  which was now well lubricated as jets of hot sticky seed spurted into her brown hole. I continued rutting on top of her for a few moments as my orgasm continued, before falling back and observing the cream pie now splattered all over her asshole.

It would have made a great picture I thought, before my mind moved onto planning our next sexscapade: next time I'm definitely going to ask her to finger her asshole...

So, some questions for you dear reader:
1] do you think my wife was cumming when I had my thumb up her ass (while she frigged herself) or not? (she's never been good at communicating her orgasm, she prefers to keep silent)
2] is this post too long? normally I would have cut it into two parts, but this time I resisted
3] What do you think the '+1' in this post's title refers to? (the answer to that will be up on Thursday)
BONUS: check out this pictorial version too!

click here for more (much more!) 

Sunday, November 13, 2016

"A Brief History of Hairless Vaginas in Art"

I happened upon this great article on How To Talk About Art History: "A Brief History of Hairless Vaginas in Art". Click this link and read the full story, but meanwhile here are a few interesting excerpts:
Vaginas and vulvas (with vulva referring specifically to the external genital region) in art have a quite different history than penises do, ranging from being symbols of fertility and life to being symbols of shame and impurity. Hairless vulvas have been around in art for a long time. How long? At least 2,000 – 3,000 years, and maybe even since the beginning of art as we know it. 
Since most of the early artworks that still survive are in sculptural form, this could account for why many ancient depictions of vulvas are sans pubes: it’s very hard to render tiny hairs in a sculpture without more modern tools. Many ancient statues depicting penises follow the same pattern of hairlessness. 
Keep in mind that there are definitely depictions of vulvas with pubic hair from these time periods. They just don’t seem to be quite as common. In some Ancient Egyptian placques and paintings, especially from the Ramesside period (1,292 – 1,069 B.C.E.), pubic hair on female genitalia is shown through painted triangles. A famous possible example of this black painted triangle style is in the Turin Papyrus from the Ramesside period, the earliest known depiction of sex in art.
It’s obviously fairly impossible for me to go through every depiction of a vagina in ancient art, let alone in every cultural artistic tradition. It’s fair to say, however, that hairless vulvas have been part of the nude figure since the beginning of art history, and that this is the case in many different cultures across the world. ...[So]... Let’s shift our attention to a form of art that inspired pretty much all Western art that came after it, including depictions of vaginas: Ancient Greek sculptures.
Venus Braschi, 4th century B.C.E., Praxiteles, variety of Aphrodite of Cnidos. Marble. Munich Glyptotech.
Many Ancient Greek sculptures depicted nude figures, and if these figures had vaginas, they were almost always completely hairless. These sculptures have been hugely influential as portraying a sort of “ideal” body. It should be noted that Ancient Greek sculptures were originally painted with bright colours that have since faded. It’s possible that they originally appeared with a full painted bush.

During the Renaissance, artists began looking back at the Classical era of Greek sculpture and were heavily inspired by it. Renaissance sculptures follow the same pattern as those of Ancient Greece: bodies with vaginas were always hairless, while those with penises were either hairless or had pubic hair carved into them.
Eve with a stag, c. 1540, Heinrich Aldegrever. Engraving.
Around this time surviving paintings become much more frequent, and even here vulvas were mostly hairless, although there were of course exceptions. German artist Heinrich Aldegrever’s print Eve with a stag (c.1540), for example, shows her with pubic hair. More often than not, though, nude paintings from this period were hairless. This goes for both penises and vaginas, although penises were much more likely to have pubic hair. Albrecht Dürer’s Adam and Eve (1507), for example, is comprised of two paintings of both Adam and Eve nude, and although their genitals are covered by leaves, Eve is clearly hairless while Adam has a hint of pubic hair.
Adam and Eve, 1507, Albrecht Dürer. Oil on panel. Museo del Prado, Madrid.

That is the end of the excerpt but there is much much more to be found in the full article (link). Why am I not surprised that a story about "Hairless Vaginas in Art" would be longer than “Why do all old statues have such small penises?” Ha!