Tuesday, November 29, 2016

TMI Tuesday: November 29, 2016 ~ Love, Emotion, & Trust

1. What would you do to leave a great impression with a person on your first date?
~ Listen to what she's saying and ask her about herself. Be polite to others. Don't be too oddball, weird, or wacky too soon! But show some humor.

2. Do you usually follow your heart or your head?
~ Heart. It has been my undoing at times.

3. If your significant other told you to jump off a tall cliff and told you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust your s.o. and jump?
~ Notwithstanding my answer to #2 above: NO! I would hate to jump and on my way down see her new lover at the bottom of the cliff holding up a sign saying "Sucker!"

4. How do you support your significant other?
~ Not financially, since she is the rich one. I support her by doing all the things stay-at-home-moms have typically done for their high powered husbands. Luckily we have a cleaner so it's not too bad.

5. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel loved?
~ Sex ranks highly. Regular readers will have picked up that I get most depressed about our relationship when my wife doesn't want to have sex with me (when there's no obvious reason why not). I often seem invisible to my wife too - she can seem oblivious to my wants and needs (not just sexually) or not notice things I've done (often for her). Last week I got a haircut (from long to short) and she took two days to notice it. That may seem minor but c'mon - if you get a major haircut and she doesn't notice it then clearly she's not seeing you.
And yes, I realize that I've responded to this question by answering how I feel when I'm un-loved instead of how I feel loved. What would Freud say? Or Kingsey?

6. What types of things or gestures/acts make you feel respected?
~ Acknowledgement. As I said in #5, I got a haircut and she didn't even notice. It was for a BNG event on Saturday we had to attend (ie something for her) and yet she was so wrapped up in herself she missed it. She did notice the costume I'd created for the event, so maybe that diverted her attention? It had a military theme so I went out to a military store and bought some gear - I looked like someone from SEAL Team 6 circa Desert Storm. She said I looked fantastic (and I did!) and yet there is not one single photo of us together at the event. She took selfies with other people during the night, but not me. I'm just not on her radar - there is nothing for her to 'gain' by taking a photo with me, I'm 'just' her husband, there is no 'networking value' from having a photo with me. Which is dumb because any Personal Brand Manager will tell you that sharing photos of yourself with your happy smiley significant other (especially when he looks 'hot' - as some women at the party commented) plays really well on Social Media. Maybe she doesn't want people to know she is married?
And yes, I've answered in the negative again, haven't I? Let's just say I don't feel respected much. 

7. Can you have emotional intimacy without physical intimacy? Explain.
~ You must be able to, because we aint having much physical intimacy! One thing my wife acknowledged during the two different couples counselling sessions we did (at different times, a few years back) was that I 'get' her. She said I was the only one who truly knew her and what she was like 'underneath'. I guess that's because she maintains a facade with most people, but with me she can let her guard down. Sometimes when she's really drunk she will (on our way home, or later in bed) laugh about someone she knows or met that night and say things like "if they only knew..."
My wife is hardly Alexis Carrington in 'Dynasty' but she didn't get ahead in business by not smiling to your face while planning your execution. One of the reasons we are still together is that I have been my wife's longest and most loyal and trusted confidante. I know her dark side and all her secrets (well, not all of them obviously) and she feels safe to show me her 'evil side' (as she puts it when she's drunk: "everyone thinks I'm this really nice person but I'm not! haha!"). 
For my part I don't really feel emotionally connected to my wife at the moment.

Bonus: In 2016, what was your most conflicted emotional moment?
~ I guess it would have been the time my wife told me to "fuck off then... get the fuck out if that's what you think" and meant it. She was drunk (but denied it), we'd been bar-hopping with her BNG pals for 6 hours - and then I had the temerity to say I wanted to go home. Home being our hotel room since we were in a foreign city. This annoyed her greatly and I got a good insight into how she felt about me and how she saw the power dynamic in our relationship. (Read the full story here)

Double Bonus: A question for you in The Bloggers NSFW dilemma


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!


  1. love your answers,so detailed and full of emotion, expect you wear your heart on your sleeve...

  2. Thanks! But some might call it 'oversharing' :)
    Or that I talk too much!!


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