Thursday, December 29, 2016

"we don't have to have sex - we can just cuddle"

This was how it started...
While you're enjoying the Holiday Season... so am I !! Which means it will be difficult for me to keep up the blogging this week. Which means you'll see a lot of Instagram picture posts, or re-runs (of my old posts) - like this one from 2015:

[Excerpt:] She rode me for a while, then flopped off, and collapsed onto her back. She spread her legs and that was my cue to mount her. I ran my cock up and down her wet slit, before sliding it in and thrusting slowly. I maintained a slow steady rhythm while I grabbed both her ankles and pulled them up high. I held her legs in a 'V' position, and I continued to hold her aloft, ever so slightly. She noticed it. She started cooing words of encouragement, urging me on, and telling me to keep fucking her like that. 
Her breathing got more strained and I could tell she was getting closer. I told her to play with her clit while I fucked her slightly harder, and I pulled her up even higher. Her butt was almost off the bed now, and she was suspended by her ankles as I pounded into her. She started grunting, and her body thrashed around but I maintained my grip on her. She wasn't going anywhere. Except over the edge. 
She came. 
As is her wont, she flopped back into the bed and had her moment - I released her from my grasp. 
"Thank you" she said, softly. Wow, she's never said that before. Never. I must have done something right. Or was it those damned dirty stories? 
Then it was my turn...
This is just an excerpt. You can read the whole story here

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

OPP: Confessions of an Adulteress ~ Part Five

I've become a fan of this blog by a married woman calling herself Luna Moon, detailing her adventures as a serial cheater. She really is a hot slut. I can say that because that's how she describes herself - as you'll discover below.  Here's a few more key excerpts from Luna Moon's blog that caught my attention. My responses are in italic.

In one of the linked stories Luna is ordered by her lover to
turn up in a short skirt, no panties, and a butt plug in her ass!
Since I haven't quoted that part you'll have to find which
link it is for yourself!
Friday, September 30, 2011 ~ The Naked Pic in the Recycle Bin

I consider myself a conscientious cheater. I've made a few blunders, but generally I am adept at covering my tracks as well as covering my ass. I am able to think quickly on my feet when necessary and that has saved me on several occasions. I am also able to retain my composure when faced with a scathing accusation. For example, "Are you seeing someone?"

[Luna Moon goes on to tell the story of how husband Dave found a nude photo of her in the trash bin on their shared computer. She wriggles out of it like a pro (see here)]

Lesson learned: Always always empty the recycle bin. I thought of worse things he could have found in there. Shudder.

Some computer precautions I take:

  • Always employ IE "InPrivate" so searches, history, etc., aren't saved.
  • Save all naked pics to a flash drive. I hide my flash drive in the pocket of a work binder (I work from home).
  • Delete the "recent" files from any programs.
  • Never, EVER, try to hide a file or image on the laptop. There is too great a chance of it being stumbled upon.
  • Copy and paste carefully.
  • Having a separate, password-protected account on my own laptop would definitely raise suspicions, so I don't do it.
  • Use cryptic words to describe a pic. That is, I often use dates rather than "LunaSuckingCock."
  • Most importantly, I always keep an innocuous browser session (preferably an interesting news item) up behind the InPrivate session to allow a quick change of view, if necessary.
  • Never...EVER...leave anything racy on a computer unattended. Not even for a moment. Not even when you know you're home alone.
Luna Moon is an accomplished cheater. She really is quite impressive with her bare faced lies to husband when he finds the nude photo she had sent her lover. I said in a previous post about Luna Moon that most affairs are eventually discovered but in Luna's case I think she can get away with for as long as she wants to. I blog while I'm at home but I always close my browser/computer when I leave the room. I don't want my wife walking in and seeing what I'm up to. I suppose I should clear my history too, because that's kind of a giveaway if she ever looked. Another mistake I have made is hiding files within folders with folders within folders on my lap top - to the point I can't find them again later. Somewhere on my lap top is an abundance of porn...!


Saturday, October 1, 2011 ~ Dirty Nothings

Mmmm. For the past fifteen months, Friday has been my favorite day of the week. And not just for the obvious reason! Friday is when Drake and I meet for lunch and sex (not necessarily in that order).

This Friday, however, was a little more intense. We met at the Village near the place we call the River. The River is where we screw around in the back of his SUV when we don't get a room. 

"Get on your back."

I lay down on my back and he pulled my pants off.

It wasn't long before he was inside me, his beautiful blue eyes burning into me.

"You are so fucking hot. I've never wanted someone as much as I've wanted you. You are the best fuck I've ever had. I own you. I love the fact that whenever I want to fuck you, I can call you and you'll be there. I will always own you. You will always be mine no matter what!"

Although his words were coarse, I have never found them offensive. I enjoy rough, hard, dirty sex where I completely submit to him. I know he cares about me and I don't need him whispering sweet nothings in my ear.  [more]

I chose this excerpt because I didn't want to get too analytical - I wanted to remind you of how hot Luna Moon is. Oh to be able to just tell my wife to bend over so I can fuck her (trust me, I've tried that approach - she doesn't respond well). It's funny how women fantasize about being 'taken, without warning' and yet when you actually try it they blanch. 
I think I look good for my age (I'm in my early 40's). And I've been told I look good. I take care of myself. I try to eat well, exercise, and keep my stress level down. I don't wear Mom jeans... [more

She was about 43 when she wrote this, so she's about 48 now. That makes her not much younger than my wife - who also looks good, exercizes, and enjoys meeting new people! I'm sure they'd get along famously!!
I'm going to stop these excerpts from Luna Moon because it starts to get real and I should let her tell her own story herself. The next post (about her husband) will be the last in the series. I've found her deeply fascinating (and I've only read her first year thus far) and I'm sure you will too. Click the links for more from her.


OPP = Other People's Posts

OPP: Confessions of an Adulteress ~ Part Six (Final)

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 27, 2016 ~ Surviving the holidays

Surviving the holidays: What does that even mean?

Bianca Beauchamp © Bizarre Magazine
This holiday season I noticed an abundance of articles dedicated to “surviving” the holidays. How have you survived the holiday season? What thing or situation did you feel you needed to survive?

~ The 'Holiday Season' (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Xmas, time off work/school) is traditionally a time that families get together, be they large or small. This can often cause stress as we try to be nice to people we may not really like that much, or show our best face and hide what's wrong with our lives. Even a relationship as small as a couple can be tested if both partners aren't used to living 24/7 together without work or school to give you a break i.e. some 'me' time (a.k.a. 'time away from you') or one partner doesn't share the same zeal for 'holiday cheer' as the other. Some of us are just not that festive and this year's Christmas cardigan might just be the jumper that broke the camel's back.

So 'surviving the holidays' means telling yourself "next year" for another year. 

Because "Next Year" you will:
  1. tell your wife you think she should maybe stop buying you 'sexy underwear' a size too small - like she did last year as well (and also for your birthday inbetween)
  2. tell your mother you feel really really stupid wearing Elf pyjamas - I'M AN ADULT FFS!!
  3. tell your father that instead of 'draining the swamp' Trump has appointed more of the 1% corporate elite's to his Administration than Obama ever did
  4. tell your mother-in-law that immigrants are people too and they're not taking 'our jobs' they're doing the work 'we' don't want to do 
  5. tell your brother that it's not appropriate to bring 'a date' to Xmas dinner when he only met her the weekend before and they will likely break up before NYE anyway, given his track history
  6. tell your brother-in-law that ten years of joking about my weight is enough, especially since his six pack is long gone and it looks like it's turning into a kegger
  7. take your wife and daughter to Hawaii for Xmas to escape this madness, paid for by not buying anyone in your families any gifts. And they can do likewise (not buy us any gifts) because seriously it's all mostly crap, amiright?
  8. in all reality once again promise yourself "next year..." for another year
Personally I 'survive' my family and relatives by drinking hard liquor. I normally don't drink all that often, but once a year I 'allow' myself - purely for 'mental health reasons' of course!

Bonus: What are your plans for New Year’s Eve? New Year’s Day?

~ My wife is throwing a party at our house that is going to be crazy for numerous reasons that I can't go into without giving away personal info. Suffice to say, as a former Event Manager I don't believe what she has planned is the best way to run an event and chaos will ensue. Not the good kind, obviously. She's actually planning for us to leave our party and go to someone else's in the neighborhood (because we simply 'must' go) but 'only for an hour' because we will be leaving our own guests (and our 14y.o. daughter - WTF?) to carry on partying in our house. 
I can only presume she is secretly planning on me staying behind because she must know I'm not damn well leaving my daughter home alone with a bunch of my wife's drunk BNG friends. So who is she planning on escorting her then, since she wouldn't dream of arriving solo (not a good look). We'll find out on NYE when I call her bluff...

Double Bonus: Last Thursday's Date Night: The autopsy starts off a little Grinchy but it peps up by the end ie we had sex! Better still, the following night I tried the spanking thing again with a much better result. I haven't had time to write that story up, but it was kinda a repeat of this but it went a lot more smoothly. I was more 'in charge' and it finished with a very hard pounding, doggy style over an arm chair.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, December 26, 2016

"you have quite a perverted mind"


While you're enjoying the Holiday Season... so am I !! Which means it will be difficult for me to keep up the blogging this week. Which means you'll see a lot of Instagram picture posts, or re-runs (of my old posts) - like this one from 2014:  

[Excerpt:] I suggested we just try mutual masturbation and promised not to take it further. So she snuggled down and started pressing her palm down on her mound, cupping her fingers, as I started stroking my cock…

She started to breathe heavier and I started talking dirty to her. It was kind of a story and kind of not. She started squirming, her eyes closed, and I told her how big and stiff my cock was and she looked up and bit her lip. I told her how much cum was boiling away in my big.fat.tight.balls and what a sticky mess I was going to make of myself.
I told her what a dirty girl she was and how I may not be able to hold on much longer. How I may not be able to keep my promise not to touch her and that I might just roll her over on her stomach while I slid my cock, now sticky with pre cum, up and down her ass crack. I said I might just grind down hard on her ass while she fingered her own slippery.wet.cunt, and I probably would try to slip my cock in her ass.

She was moaning now and I told her what a dirty dirty girl she was, with all those slick fingers in her wet soaking pussy. I said I had a good mind to take some photos of her sopping wet pussy and post them on the Internet for others to rate. I said I bet lots of guys would love those pussy pics and want to lick it. I said I was pretty sure there were plenty of women too who would also love her pussy - and want to do the same….
This is just an excerpt. You can read the whole story here

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas!

It's Christmas and I imagine most of you will be too busy to read sex blogs so I'll just leave this here and wish you all HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!


PS - Please follow or subscribe to this blog! (See the widget on the right ---> )
If this makes you want to get out your coloring pencils then click here for more

Saturday, December 24, 2016

It's Christmas Eve...

It's Christmas Eve and I imagine that like me most of you will be too busy to read sex blogs tomorrow, and possibly today as well, so I will queue this post on Thanksgiving...

Every year I post some 'Sexy Xmas' images, but given my audience skews female I'm not sure if anyone aside from myself enjoys them? Ha! As I mentioned on Tuesday, I'm actually an atheist so it might seem hypocritical to be celebrating Christmas - which is a christian festival. Yes, it is, which is why I always call it Xmas. It makes me feel less hypocritical (silly, I know).

Anyway, I'm going off on a ridiculous tangent here so let's get back to the pictures (if you like them click the 'Sexy Xmas' tag at the bottom for more). And to all my readers (whatever religion you are [or not]) I wish you HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

~ Nero

If you have any cyber mistletoe you wanna send my way then fire away, and I will cyber kiss you right back - 'down there'!! 
Just imagine I look like this guy:

or imagine this guy, if you really want to be naughty for Santa!

Friday, December 23, 2016

It's an Instagram Christmas!

via Instagram

photo credits L-R: @suicidegirls @dollhousephotographyuk @starfuckedmodel @marquismagazine @sister_sinister @ladylucielatex @masuimimax @agentprovocateur @dani_divine

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Date Night: The autopsy

So we had a proper 'Date Night' last night, not just 'Scheduled Sex' on Wednesday. (A quick explanation on that, if you don't know already: we've agreed to 'schedule' sex on Wednesdays and one weekend night to keep the sexual intimacy alive in our marriage because it was fading. It doesn't always happen though, because such is life)

On Tuesday night we went out for an unscheduled dinner. By which I mean my wife got a call at 3pm from a guy inviting her to join him and some mutual friends at a downtown bar at 4pm for Xmas drinks, and then they would have dinner afterwards, about 6pm. My wife's sister and my wife's friend both agree he's a moneyed asshole but she insists he's harmless and is always good for a laugh. So my wife quickly rushes off to get changed and asks if I can drop her off, and then come back later after I've picked up the dog from Doggy Daycare, and join them for dinner at six.

As if I have a choice.
This post may start on a downer (hey, I'm Nero) but trust me:
we get to a good bit (like this) by the end! 

So I drop her off and come back at 6.30pm because I'm a rebel, and it's my wife with two guys and a woman who's just arrived for dinner also. They've obviously polished off a few bottles of wine because my wife is in high spirits and telling everyone what they should have on the menu. Dinner is great but the conversation is terrible. They're all People.With.Money. and don't understand the inappropriateness of the petty crap they're complaining about in their privileged lives.

And then they get into an hour long debate about the best way to diet and keep in shape. They're all doing 'something' and their 'something' is the best because theirs is backed by 'science' and ... blah blah blah ... one guy was trying to convince overweight me to get lap band gastric bypass surgery and is showing me pictures of how he used look 'before'. Dude, I'm overweight, you were OBESE!

So on the way home my wife tells me in the car (because she can sense I didn't have the best time with her friends, who aren't real friends BTW, just people she networks with) that "tomorrow night I thought we'd do something together, just the two of us, since it's Wednesday, y'know?". I said I thought that was an excellent idea and maybe we could go to dinner and a movie? She said that sounded great so we were set - we even agreed on seeing Rogue One.

So on Wednesday afternoon I'm looking forward to a 'proper' date night since so often our social time is really just me accompanying her to a 'thing' she has to go to, or me staying home to watch the kid while she goes out because she has a 'thing' she 'has to' go to. And then... my wife got a call at 3pm from a guy inviting her to join him and some mutual friends at a downtown bar at 4pm for Xmas drinks...

My wife felt it would be rude not to go, and said we'd only stay for a quick drink, and then we'd leave and go and have dinner on our own, and still have time to catch the movie at 7.30pm. Sure, whatever. I've been here before, it's better to expect nothing and just see what happens. My wife took a while to get ready and we didn't get there until 4.30pm. She looked very glam and her boobs were out on show - was that for me (date night!) or her BNG pals that we were joining for drinks?

So we're in the bar but there's only one guy there (the supposed 'organizer') but others have said they 'might come'. WTF? Instantly I'm reminded that this has happened before, and that my wife suffers from chronic FOMO. Fear of missing out. If someone suggests something that could be remotely cool or interesting she's the first to say "I'm in!" That might sound like a good trait in theory but in practice it means we're always going places only to find out others are no-shows or they drop out.

So at 5pm one other guy texts my wife to ask how long we'll be there and my wife replies "we'll be here for ages, come as soon as you can." I know two things: this guy lives a long long way away, and he's sweet on my wife. I know he will be racing over as fast as he can. It's not the first time he's jumped in the car and raced down the freeway because she's texted "you should come here and have a drink with us". So forty minutes later he turns up, and my wife asks him if he's hungry because we're just about to order some food for dinner? WTF?

It turns out our dinner together is going to be bar snacks with these two guys because "'hey!' it would be rude to leave since no-one else is here." Again, WTF?

So at 7.15pm I manage to drag her off to the theatre for our 7.30pm screening. We arrived at 7.30pm which wasn't too late because trailers, and advertising. The film was good, but to be honest I was in a foul mood because basically I'd spent 2.5 hours sitting with my wife while she talked to other men about business and gossip. Business gossip and gossip about rich people I don't know. It's interesting how everyone seems to know who's cheating on who and how that is accepted as 'normal' for People.With.Money. As you can imagine, I have nothing to contribute to this conversation so I'm silent most of the time. And when I do open my mouth someone else talks over the top of me - including my wife!

Anyway we get home and my wife moves straight to the office so she can check her Facebook on her laptop. Date night, huh? Rather than getting pouty I decide to go upstairs and have a shower so I'm nice and clean and she can't get nervous about getting cystitus when we fuck. Penetratively I mean, since it's all been non penetrative sex ever since she got cystitus a while back. My wife walks in as I'm brushing my teeth and asks "Did you have a shower?"

Fifteen minutes later we're both in bed and the lights are out. I move over to cuddle her and she asks "Did you have a shower?" like she's forgotten my earlier answer (and my wet hair). Clearly she's becoming obsessed, I guess that cystitus must be really painful (I hear it is). So we're cuddling and my hands are roaming everywhere, before settling on her boobs. At which point she asks me to massage her butt. So I do. I know what she likes, and it involves lots of firm squeezing and fingers and thumbs straying into naughty crevices. There's only so much groping I can do before I can't help myself and give her smack on her ass. She smiles and says "mmmm".  I give her another spank, then I massage her butt, and then I spank the other butt cheek, then I massage that cheek, and ... repeat.

So she lifts her butt up so she's on her knees, ass up and head down, and tells me "oooh, I've been naughty, are you gonna spank me?"

Wow! That's new. This is the first time she's essentially asked for something specifically vaguely kinky, and the first time she's really initiated the 'dirty talk'. So I realize this is a big first step towards her articulating and exploring her darker desires. I'm determined not to fuck it up so I start spanking her ass, alternating short sharp smacks between each butt cheek. I ask her what she'd done that's naughty, and she replies "because I'm a dirty girl". I'd hoped for 'because I want your dick in me', but whatever, baby steps, so I start spanking her again.

"Ow!!!" she cries, not in a good way.

"What's wrong?

"Why did you hit me there? It hurts!"

"Where?" I respond.

"On the back of my legs, you're supposed to smack me on the fleshy part - my butt"

Okay, I was spanking her on her lower butt - just above the back of her legs - which is where I've read you're meant to, and I tell her as much.

"Well, don't believe everything you've read" she replies "that fucking hurts."

Damn, I thought it was meant to hurt - it certainly does in her dirty stories! I can feel the moment has been lost but I vainly try a few more spanks - on the fleshy part of her ass - but then ruin it further by asking her (in what I thought was a sexy whisper) "so who's spanking you, your Sexy Schoolteacher or your Cruel Boss?" Instead of answering my wife lifts her head off the mattress, gets up and crawls over to get between my legs. I can see it all slip away in an instant: the fantasy is dead for her and she's switching into Scheduled Sex Mode.

My wife starts with a hand job, which becomes a blowjob, and incorporates a little assplay for good measure. As much as my brain is upset with me for fucking it up (her spanking fantasy) my body is responding as normal. The handjob and blowjob feel great and I can sense the cum boiling in my balls. I moan to encourage her, and then suggest we switch to 69 so I can eat out her pussy too. I really want to eat her out, and I really want to stick my cock in her pussy, but she's having none of it.

"I want you to cum" is all she says, jacking my dick faster.

"I'm really close, where do you want it?" I reply, hoping she'll say 'inside' and then mount me.

"On my tits" she purrs, pulling my dick into her cleavage and then bending down to take the tip of my cock into her mouth.

Resigned to my choices I lift my ass up further so I'm raised up high: my balls are bouncing on her tits, my cock in her face and her hands underneath - one playing with my balls and the other squeezing my tight butt. (I'm not 'athletic' but even at my age when you're flexing up at that angle your butt feels like a 21 year olds!) Her mouth is wrapped tightly around my cock and she's sucking like someone has a gun to her head.

"I'm gonna cum" I grunt, as much warning as I can manage. I'm surprised myself, since as I've often said on this blog I never cum 'just' by a blowjob. This time is different. I can feel it and I'm ready to blow. She responds by pulling her head off me and taking over with her hand. She's pumping furiously, angling my purple cockhead between her breasts so I can splatter her her titties with my jism. It feels great but for some reason I really want to be in her warm wet mouth so I thrust up again and push my cock at her lips.

She takes the hint and swallows the tip while still jerking me off with her hand. I tell her how good her mouth feels ("mmmm, like a warm wet pussy!") and I'm jacking in and out hard before I announce calmly "I'm cumming. Now." And then I fill her mouth with spunk, pumping in and out like it's the substitute cunt I was craving. After a few thrusts I relax and release, dropping down and out of her mouth. My cock is in front of her tits now, and still spurting out the last drops of my seed. She continues to jerk me off onto her swollen breasts as I notice her swallowing subtly.

It's an almost imperceptible gulp, but I noticed it. Is my wife learning to swallow? Is she developing a taste for cum? (Mine only, I hope!)

My wife is grinning broadly, very happy with herself. She lies down next me, and twists her body over a bit. "Look!" she says proudly, showing me the cum splattered all over both breasts. There's not as much as there would have been if I hadn't cum in her mouth, but it's still quite impressive. It really does look like something you'd see in a porn magazine. The photo I've used in today's post is a reasonable likeness. "Shall I take a picture?" I ask, hopefully - "It'll last longer."

"No!" she says smiling, before reaching to the nightstand to get some tissues to clean herself up. She seems very pleased with it all, and hopefully it went some way to make up for the botched attempt at fulfilling her spanking fantasy. I ask her what she'd like in return but she answers 'Nothing' and says she has to get up early. I suggest using the vibe for 'a quick one' but she declines again, kisses me, and tells me to sleep.

Which I did. Rather well.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Question: What's in Santa's Sack?

If this post is here it's because I got caught up in all the Holiday rush and didn't have time to blog - shame on me! Honestly, I do try to have something online everyday but ... today I failed. {SadFace}
These pics are for the ladies (straight women? gay men?) to compensate for what's coming later in the week...

I think we know what's in Santa's sack - but what's in Santa's briefs? Is it real or padded? 
Who do you prefer - the one on the left or the one on the right (no, you can't have both)?

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 20, 2016 ~ Life and Being

1. Why do you live where you live? 
~ We live in the million dollar 'dream home' my wife built when she came into money. Two years after it was finished my wife said she wanted to sell it and buy an apartment in the city. I asked her "what about our daughter?" and she said she could go to Boarding School. I nixed that so the plan is to do it in 3 years time, when our daughter turns 18. At that point our daughter gets thrown out on her own, according to my wife, because "I left home at 18 and it did me a world of good". Choosing to leave and being thrown out are two different things in my book. So... to answer your question: I live where my wife chooses to live. It might be a different story in 3 years - she's bought an expensive vacation home in a place where she (as she tells everyone) plans to retire, but she didn't think to ask me if that's where I wanted to spend my retirement. It's not.

2. Do you want to have your sins forgiven?
~ I'm an atheist so this question doesn't apply, but in a less literal sense: yes, I hope people will forgive me if they think I've done them wrong. I just wish they'd tell me at the time so I could address the issue/problem then. I'm often amazed to catch up with people I haven't seen for years/decades who tell me some story about my wicked past and how I was asshole ("but you seem so nice now"). Turns out what they're talking about never happened and was just myth or vicious gossip. 

3. Do you believe in heaven and hell?
~ No, I'm an atheist. But it will be fun finding out when I'm dead!

4. After life, where do you think you will end up?
~ My corpse will rot in the ground like every other thing that dies. Except I'll probably be cremated so I'll be ash. If there is an afterlife I'd like to think I'll go to Heaven - a really cool hip one, which is a mix of non-stop adventure and sex orgies parties. And if I don't make it to Heaven I'll be demanding to see the Supervisor, because there must have been a mistake - I don't think I've done anything bad enough to merit not letting me in!

5. If you have children, would they say you are the favorite parent? Why do you think this?
~ No, because I say "No" all the time. My wife always says 'Yes", so she is our daughter's favorite. Our almost-15 y.o. just got a stainless steel bolt through her upper ear last week, because Mommy said "Yes." (Yes, I said "No")

6. Has anything ever happened to you that was dramatic, personal or spectacular enough to cause you to be believe in a God?
~ Watching both parents slowly die of cancer (separately) in excruciating pain reminds me that there is no God. You might believe otherwise, that's okay.Just don't insist that I follow "God's Law"

Bonus: What is something you consider to be a great personal success? Why was it so significant?
~ Stopping my daughter from being sent to Boarding School. I don't believe that would be good for her at all. I know many people who went to boarding schools and loved it, but IMO it was/is the wrong time to be 'sending her away'. Our daughter developed an eating disorder this year, and I was able to spot it and nip it in the bud. I'm not sure that would have been spotted at boarding school.

Double Bonus: I had sex (of sorts) two nights in a row last week - but then none in the weekend! My wife is totally unpredictable: Complain and Ye Shall Receive... and Complain and Ye Shall Receive... Part 2


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, December 19, 2016

Some of my favourite Instagrammers (Part 1)

via Instagram

L-R: @ditavonteese @sister_sinister @masuimimax @dollhousephotographyuk @fetishdeluxe @sommerray @suicidegirls @dani_divine @marquismagazine

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Need A Last Minute Xmas Gift?

Only 5 more shopping days left and you still haven't got your loved one a gift? Fear not, Nero has the perfect gift suggestion for someone who's been naughty and nice this year - and best of all it's available online! You'll need express shipping but click here for PornHub's Adult Coloring Book

all images © PornHub

Saturday, December 17, 2016

How to have sex with a stripper

How to have sex with a stripper? It's not easy but it can be done.

Firstly, let me get some disclaimers our of the way: whether you can have sex with a stripper depends entirely on [a] the stripper, and [b] the area you're in. Some strippers are purely strippers and that is their passion - they love dancing for money, they love the attention, and it's all they need. You can't have sex with these strippers, because they're not prostitutes. Some strippers however will provide sexual services, so these are the ones I'm going to talk about. Location is also important because in some areas sexual services ie 'extras' are a BIG no-no and the stripper will be fired if she does them. And you might get bounced, very heavily, out the door by security.

BEWARE! Some strippers earn so much in tips just by
dancing that they have no interest in doing 'extras'
Secondly, let me assure you that most strippers are not prostitutes and many of them will be upset and say I'm doing a disservice by writing this post. My key point is that while most strippers are not prostitutes some of them are, to a certain degree. (If you blow a guy, or give him a handjob, or let him jack off in front of you, in a private room, for money... then in my book you're a prostitute. Just because you din't fuck him doesn't mean you're not). The most important point is to know if the stripper in front of you is a sex worker or not, and you should be able to tell by the type of establishment you're in.

Once you've decided the stripper you like is available for some extra curricular services then the next most important part is gaining her attention. This mean plying her with money so you get the invite to a private room ... where private things might happen!

Unless you keep stuffing bills into her g-strings a stripper will leave for the next guy who does have bills. If you have bills she will (depending on the club/local laws) allow you to place the bills between her breasts with your teeth (which she takes by squeezing her tits together to grasp the note - so you get your face in her boobs) or she might even even open her thong a little so you can see her pussy when you drop a few big bills 'into the slot' (but for godssake don't try and actually poke the money into her pussy - just drop it into her g-string)!

Having got her attention by showering her with money she may well turn up after she comes off stage and offer you a lap dance. Sometimes these are done where you're sitting, and sometimes they're done in a private room/booth either backstage or in a private area of the club. If you are taken to a private area you may find you have a number of options, again depending on the club or the local laws. You need to know these options before you get yourself into trouble/thrown out, so it pays to ask first. I suggest you play the dumb tourist and just ask politely. Especially if you're asking for something that the club has posted a sign saying is not allowed.
  1. In some places you can't touch the strippers/lapdancers, in others you can.
  2. In some places you can't even touch the private lap dancer, in others you can.
  3. In some places the lap dancer will touch you (over your clothes), in others she won't.
  4. In some places the lap dancer will offer to jack you off, or better yet, blow you.
  5. In some places the lap dancer will offer to fuck you (usually in another even more private room, especially for that purpose).
The last two are clearly sexual services and you need to be very careful (and circumspect) about how you handle it. Especially if paying for sexual services is illegal in the state/country you are in. If you're in a foreign country be even more careful because it could be a scam. Either 'security' or the police burst in and either way you will have to pay big to avoid arrest.

Similar posts:

Friday, December 16, 2016

Fetish Friday

via Instagram
#fetishfridays #fetishmodel

Complain and Ye Shall Receive... Part 2

After yesterday's post I had no idea there would be a Part 2 - but there was! It went down like this:

As I explained in Complain and Ye Shall Receive... I went for a nap on Tuesday afternoon and convinced my wife to join me. Sex ensued. It was great. But because we'd had sex on Tuesday I assumed that was our scheduled midweek intimacy, meaning I wouldn't be getting any on Wednesday night, our usual midweek sex night. And I was right. Almost.

At 11pm I was watching TV while my wife read a book. It was an actual book, some racey chick lit, so she had presumably devoured all her Kindleporn and couldn't afford any more titles that week. Anyway, I was very tired (unusual for me at that hour) and I said I was going to bed. Imagine my surprise when my wife said 'Okay', shut her book, and followed me up stairs. Were we going to keep our Wednesday schedule after all? Surely not?

Not, it turned out.

My wife got changed for bed but then grabbed her book, gave me a kiss, and told me she wanted to finish her book so was going back downstairs. She gave me a kiss as she left and I settled in to sleep.

But of course I couldn't sleep because not 5 minutes later my daughter came downstairs and started rattling around in the kitchen trying to make herself a late night snack. And then when she was finished she called out to her mother, asking where the Christmas wrapping paper was because she wanted to wrap her gifts. And so my wife called out and answered from the lounge, and then my daughter yelled out "Don't come in here, you can't look" and so on...

The two were making a heck of a lot of noise for that time of night and 20 minutes later I gave up on my attempts to sleep. I picked up my iPad and did a search of some of those titles on Literotica that I'd discovered my wife was reading (see A brief look at my wife's Kindleporn collection). I started with some 'Taboo' (aka !ncest) since I wasn't in the mood for BBC and Nonconsent (aka rape) which were her preferred genres. The Taboo story didn't really grab me either, so I gave up on her catalogue and found one of my own. Anal, of course.

I wasn't super excited but I was aroused, and I was slowly jacking my cock as I read. Because my mind was on the stories I was reading I wasn't really paying attention to getting off, until about 20 minutes later when I realized my dick was really fat and engorged - and seemed longer than usual. I said "Wow?!" to myself at that point - which was about one second before my wife walked in!

"!" she said incredulously, unable to believe what she was seeing. Rather than try to cover what I was doing I simply stopped and replied "I couldn't sleep".

She crawled up next to me on the bed, grinning broadly, and admonished me in a whisper "ooh, you dirty boy - reading dirty stories were you? playing with your cock, huh?"  All of which was patently obvious, so I carried on reading and stroking my dick. She placed her hand tentatively on my thigh, hesitated, and then leaned forward and started licking the tip of my tumescent prick. Then she swallowed the head and started swirling her tongue around the tip. Given that one of my fantasies has always been to have my wife suck me off while I was watching porn I took my shot:

"Get in between my legs and blow me" I commanded, as I continued to wank my dick. She seemed eager to do it, jumping quickly between my legs, so maybe it was a fantasy of her own? I wished I'd actually mentioned this fantasy sooner - out loud! My wife was happily slurping away on my cock as I continued to read the story, fondling my balls for good measure. It felt good and we continued for a few minutes, but once again I realized I wasn't going to cum lying on my back. I put the iPad aside and got up on my knees, before resting back on my haunches.

My wife scooted down lower and swallowed me whole, deep throating me and playing with my balls. And fingering my ass. She alternated between jerking my cock really fast and then bobbing up and down on my prick really fast, always sucking hard to keep up the pressure. Then I felt it - she'd hit the sweet spot. "Don't move!" I said, as I placed my hands on the side of the head and pumped my cock in and out of her mouth. I wasn't holding her roughly, just firmly, keeping her in that position as I climbed my final peak.

The best sex advice I ever got when younger was "if she tells you 'don't move' then don't move! - just keep doing what you're doing". This applies to oral or fucking. Often guys hit her sweet spot, she says "oh, YEAH!" and then the guy foolishly decides to start pounding that pussy harder, faster, or in a different direction. DON'T! If she wants it harder or faster she'll tell you, so if she says 'oh, YEAH' just keep doing what you were doing. Ditto for oral - don't suddenly thrust your tongue up her wet cunt if she said 'oh, YEAH!' while you were circling her clit.

And it was the same for me - I held her steady in that sweet spot and thrust in and out of her warm wet mouth.

And then I filled it with my hot cum, flooding her mouth with my spunk. I pumped her mouth a few times as she held my balls and squeezed the last few spurts out of me. It felt marvelous. When I'd finished I withdrew and she paused momentarily. "It's okay," I said "you can run to the bathroom now."  My wife never swallows, and I don't care either way. But this time she paused. And then gulped. She swallowed it all down and then looked up at me grinning. "No problem" was all she said, proudly.

'Wow, that's new' I thought to myself - I wonder what fantasy was running through her head when she decided to do that? 'Maybe next time she'll swallow and then open her mouth after, like the pornstars do?' I wondered. It certainly was a new twist to our non-penetrative sexual repertoire and I wasn't complaining. Maybe next time I can explore further my fantasy of watching porn while my wife 'services' me?

Damn, I'm hard again just thinking about it... if this is Wednesday who knows what will happen on the weekend given this current lucky streak?
Complain and Ye Shall Receive - Part One

click here for more (much more!) 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Complain and Ye Shall Receive...

The Gods must be watching over me? I didn't complain to my wife, but I have been bleating on this blog recently and ... lo, suddenly I am getting more sex. Whaaaat? It went down like this:

Last Saturday in the post Last Night I recounted how we had non-penetrative sex on Friday night due to my wife having cystitus. It was essentially a mutual masturbation session brought on by her reading dirty stories (not that she admits it) and me sitting naked in an armchair in front of her reading my own dirty stories (two can play at that game) and my arousal becoming obvious. This stirred something within her and... bingo! We both got off.

I was up late on Monday hammering out TMI Tuesday: December 13, 2016 ~ Sex is life because I had other stuff to do and didn't get to it until after midnight. And then on Tuesday morning I was up at 7am to take my daughter to school, the dog to Doggy Daycare, and then back home again because we had contractors coming to work on the house. So by Tuesday afternoon I was really tired and decided to take a nap. The problem is that I am a very light sleeper and there was a lot of neighborhood noise so I doubted I would actually fall asleep.

The solution? Invite my wife to 'give me a hand' helping me 'get off' to sleep. She baulked at the suggestion, but when I pointed out our daughter wouldn't be home until 6pm and she really had nothing else to do... my wife suddenly smiled and said "okay, I'll join you for a nap!" Ask and ye shall receive indeed! I immediately stripped off (lest there be any confusion) and jumped into bed. She did likewise, albeit with a negligeé, despite having a hot body (me not so much). Women!

So we kissed and cuddled and my hands roamed her body and it wasn't long before we were back into what had worked so well last Friday:
She turned and pressed her back to me, at the same time pulling my left arm around her and placing my hand on her breast. Her right arm remained stretched behind her, massaging my balls with her hand. Her tit felt full and heavy in my left hand as I began massaging her gently, my right hand still jacking my dick. Her boobs felt good in my hand, and I played with them more slowly this time. Her nipple was hard and I gave it the softest of pinches
I was squeezing her breasts. She responded well to this - so much so that she got up, straddled my hips, and leaned forward so that I could fondle both her tits. I squeezed them with both hands, still gently but a little more vigorously (if that makes sense). My wife leaned in closer, so her boobs were in my face. That was my cue to get rougher still, so I grabbed them and started suckling on her stiff nipples. My tongue circled her areola as I swallowed her into my mouth. This drove her crazy and she grabbed the back of my head and pressed herself further into my face.

I bit her gently on one nipple as I squeezed the other breast and then alternated. She was writhing on top of me until she couldn't take it anymore and pulled away. Slamming me down on my back she slid herself up my chest and planted her cunt on my face. Her pussy was wet and she tasted delicious. I placed my hands on her buttcheeks and pulled her further into me so that I could drink her sweet nectar. Yes, I know that sounds cliché but it's true. She tastes great and I can't get enough of it.

She placed one hand on the back of my head and pulled me in tighter, holding me there, while grabbing my right hand and moving it from her butt to my crotch. "Jerk your cock for me" she said breathlessly, "I want you to cum - cum on my ass."  Given my age I thought the latter was probably a bit hopeful but I was willing to give it a go. I jacked my dick fast as she continued to grind against my face. I was pressed so hard into her I barely had room to move my tongue around her clit, but she seemed very happy nonetheless.

She released me from her headlock so she could fondle her own breasts, squeezing herself as I continued to eat her out. Her back was arched, her head thrown back, and her hips were thrusting forward in staccato movements as she fucked my face.

She came.

And she tasted even better.

I expected her to flop down once she'd orgasmed but she didn't. She was in a bit of a frenzy - jumping off me and flipping herself around again, as she did last Friday:
She swung around, crawled over, and positioned herself above my legs on all fours ... she backed up until my erect cock was pressed between her ass cheeks. Then she dropped down, placing her head on the mattress, which pulled her ass forward a bit and made room for a bit of hand play on her pussy. Which is exactly what she did next.
So my wife is slapping her pussy, then diddling her clitty, and at the same time rocking backwards and forwards so my cock is pressed against her asshole.
Now don't let the cut 'n paste fool you. This is not just a repeat of what happened last night Friday night... okay, it was - but I wasn't complaining. I decided to turn it up a notch by taking it a step further which meant articulating my desires. Communication! That's how you spice things up - by telling your partner what you actually want!!

So I told my wife to stick her finger in her ass and, er, finger herself. She'd been talking dirty since she'd 'assumed the position' while also pulling her butt cheeks apart as she played with her pussy and telling me where to shoot my seed. She had occasionally run a finger up and down her crease, which is why I decided to up the ante. I leaned forward and rimmed her asshole! Normally she pulls away when I try that but this time she didn't. Probably because this time I was lathering her starfish with saliva, lubing her up for what I wanted next:

"Stick your finger in your butt and fuck your dirty asshole for me" I told her. It wasn't an order, more of a command, but she complied. She was tentative at first, but got a little more adventurous as my dirty talk egged her on. I was up on my knees now, jacking my cock furiously, and that old familiar feeling was boiling up in my balls. "Not long now", I warned her, "I'm going to cum".

This pleased her and she told me to "fire away! fill up my asshole..." She had one finger in her ass and another in her slit when I did - exploding into her butt, splattering her asshole with hot sticky cum. "Yeah!" she said, pulling her finger out and smearing the sperm up and down her crease...

I only managed to nap for 10 minutes before the phone rang, but I wasn't complaining. I felt refreshed and invigorated by our afternoon romp! I'd left my wife grinning too, so that bodes well for the future, surely?

click here for more (much more!) 

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

A brief look at my wife's Kindleporn collection

And in this instance by Kindleporn I really mean Literotica. This is one weekend's binge reading. I talked about it in The Lure of Kindleporn a week ago, but at that point I only had her laptop browsing history. What you see in the screengrabs in todays' posts are what she was reading on her iPad.

As I said last week:
"I woke up early [Sunday] and went down to the office to draft Monday's post ... I faffed around online for a few hours and by midday I was surprised to realize that no-one else was up. I crept up [to the bedroom] so I could sneak up on [my wife] and sure enough, there she was: in bed with her knees up, legs slightly splayed, reading her iPad. It was obvious she'd been up a while because she had an empty cup of tea beside her - she must have snuck down to make it! It looked like another clearcut case of Kindleporn!! to me. 
I leant down and gave her a kiss and told her I was going [out] to look at a few new cars so I would be at least an hour or two. I gave her hip a gentle squeeze (quietly observing that her nightie was already pushed up to almost her hips) and told her that I really enjoyed the massage last night, but felt bad that she hadn't 'got hers'. I kissed her again and suggested she should read her dirty stories and maybe find her own satisfaction while I was out? Maybe she could run herself a bath? 
Once again she denied she was reading dirty stories, and insisted it was just chick lit - not clit lit!!!"

Well, as you can see from the images in today's post, my wife was most definitely reading porn (although she prefers the more palatable term 'erotica'). Why is that an issue for me? Well, again, as I said in The Lure of Kindleporn:
"...the reaction from female readers is often "So what? What's the problem? Lots of women get off on reading erotica, it's just fantasy stuff" and I agree. The only problem I have is that she continuously denies it and pretends she isn't into it. I know we all need our own private place, even within a marriage, but on this I feel completely shut out. Excluded."

I'm trying to open up our relationship to include her fantasies and desires (because it's not a one-way street) and yet she consistently rebuffs me. I can only conclude that she actually does not want me to be a part of her sexual life, and that in some way I don't 'measure up' to what she wants (or gets) from a fantasy lover. Which makes it so damn frustrating when I read about so many other female sex bloggers having a great time indulging their fantasies in the real world ie turning fantasy into reality.

My wife doesn't seem to even want to try. She presumably prefers to get off in private. Imagine ladies, if your man spent as much time watching porn at the weekends as my wife does reading it? Would you accept that as fair or reasonable? Especially if you felt you were being ignored sexually yourself? Clearly my wife isn't leaving me to starve, she throws me a bone every now and then (and it's been good lately) but I just find the whole thing... irksome.

(If you wondering why Monday is above the Sunday titles, it's because you have to 
start at the bottom and read upwards if you want to follow in chronological order. 
This is all her reading from Sunday AM until well after midnight on Sunday - when I came to bed)

And yes, we've done the whole "why dont you just talk it out with her" thing a few years back, but it always comes back to this. As you've seen from the quotes above, when I try to bring it up she won't even acknowledge she's reading the stuff. She denies it:
"[as I] left she said "I don't know where you get these silly ideas from..."
Well clearly I'm not making it all up in my head, am I? But that's enough complaining from me, I know you're sick of it. So am I. Hopefully I'll have better news to report this weekend. Or tonight, since it's Wednesday, which is meant to be 'sex night'. She's been out shopping for Xmas gifts so that should have got her all excited...

[Update: Yes, I totally get that I'm just howling at the moon here!!]

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 13, 2016 ~ Sex is life


Sex is life. Yes, you heard that right here at TMI Tuesday blog. 

1. Have you ever tested someone’s love for you? What did you do? Did things turn out as you expected or hoped? 
~ I know I did during 'the High School Years' but that was too long ago to remember the specifics. All very petty and/or pathetic I'm sure. I've no doubt some girls failed the test, but hey, we were teens. Oh yeah, and then there was that time my Varsity GF slept with one of my best friends from High School when she visited LA and I'd given her his deets in case she needed a friend in the city. That was unplanned and unexpected so not really a test. But she still failed. Twice. She accidentally fucked him twice somehow. (Yes, yes - he failed too, I know!)

2. Select the answer that best fits your experience. I have dated:
a. all the wrong people
b. romantic companions that were mostly a good fit for me.
c. people that were perfect fits – loves at first sight

d. not all that much, I mainly have had a lot of long term relationships
~ A mix of B & C obviously. Some of them were 'just' Lust At First Sight.

Scandinavian Humor - I don't get it either, but it made me laugh!
3. Online dating: What is your success rate? What do you consider success? 
~ I was married before online dating started so I've been spared all that.  Although this once happened. And by once I mean twice. Or... well, there was also this
[the links in this question answer the 'success' parts]

4. What sexual thing do you do most often that you could commit to doing everyday? 
~ Eating pussy. Seriously, I really do love it. I know women roll their eyes now when men say that, but I feel like I could do it for hours. Never had the chance sadly.

5. What are your thoughts on love and lust? 
~ Two different things and dangerous if you don't recognize that. I wonder how many marriages or long term relationships have died because those involved didn't know it was just lust, not love, that they were initially feeling? I have lusted after a few women in my time, it's fantastic at the time.

Bonus: Are you searching for love or are you searching for attention?
~ Being married I'm not sure how to answer this. I guess I'm wanting attention/recognition from my wife, since I feel a little subsumed/taken for granted by her in recent years.

Double Bonus: I got some sexy time last Friday and also last Tuesday. Nero be happy about that.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!