Tuesday, December 27, 2016

TMI Tuesday: December 27, 2016 ~ Surviving the holidays

Surviving the holidays: What does that even mean?

Bianca Beauchamp © Bizarre Magazine
This holiday season I noticed an abundance of articles dedicated to “surviving” the holidays. How have you survived the holiday season? What thing or situation did you feel you needed to survive?

~ The 'Holiday Season' (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Xmas, time off work/school) is traditionally a time that families get together, be they large or small. This can often cause stress as we try to be nice to people we may not really like that much, or show our best face and hide what's wrong with our lives. Even a relationship as small as a couple can be tested if both partners aren't used to living 24/7 together without work or school to give you a break i.e. some 'me' time (a.k.a. 'time away from you') or one partner doesn't share the same zeal for 'holiday cheer' as the other. Some of us are just not that festive and this year's Christmas cardigan might just be the jumper that broke the camel's back.

So 'surviving the holidays' means telling yourself "next year" for another year. 

Because "Next Year" you will:
  1. tell your wife you think she should maybe stop buying you 'sexy underwear' a size too small - like she did last year as well (and also for your birthday inbetween)
  2. tell your mother you feel really really stupid wearing Elf pyjamas - I'M AN ADULT FFS!!
  3. tell your father that instead of 'draining the swamp' Trump has appointed more of the 1% corporate elite's to his Administration than Obama ever did
  4. tell your mother-in-law that immigrants are people too and they're not taking 'our jobs' they're doing the work 'we' don't want to do 
  5. tell your brother that it's not appropriate to bring 'a date' to Xmas dinner when he only met her the weekend before and they will likely break up before NYE anyway, given his track history
  6. tell your brother-in-law that ten years of joking about my weight is enough, especially since his six pack is long gone and it looks like it's turning into a kegger
  7. take your wife and daughter to Hawaii for Xmas to escape this madness, paid for by not buying anyone in your families any gifts. And they can do likewise (not buy us any gifts) because seriously it's all mostly crap, amiright?
  8. in all reality once again promise yourself "next year..." for another year
Personally I 'survive' my family and relatives by drinking hard liquor. I normally don't drink all that often, but once a year I 'allow' myself - purely for 'mental health reasons' of course!

Bonus: What are your plans for New Year’s Eve? New Year’s Day?

~ My wife is throwing a party at our house that is going to be crazy for numerous reasons that I can't go into without giving away personal info. Suffice to say, as a former Event Manager I don't believe what she has planned is the best way to run an event and chaos will ensue. Not the good kind, obviously. She's actually planning for us to leave our party and go to someone else's in the neighborhood (because we simply 'must' go) but 'only for an hour' because we will be leaving our own guests (and our 14y.o. daughter - WTF?) to carry on partying in our house. 
I can only presume she is secretly planning on me staying behind because she must know I'm not damn well leaving my daughter home alone with a bunch of my wife's drunk BNG friends. So who is she planning on escorting her then, since she wouldn't dream of arriving solo (not a good look). We'll find out on NYE when I call her bluff...

Double Bonus: Last Thursday's Date Night: The autopsy starts off a little Grinchy but it peps up by the end ie we had sex! Better still, the following night I tried the spanking thing again with a much better result. I haven't had time to write that story up, but it was kinda a repeat of this but it went a lot more smoothly. I was more 'in charge' and it finished with a very hard pounding, doggy style over an arm chair.
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