Saturday, January 7, 2017

“I’m Dating Someone with Herpes. Still Wanna Have Sex with Me?”

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous.
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 
(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: " I wake up feeling horny. I have work to do all day, but I want to get laid later. So I text Jerry, the guy who I found on Craigslist a couple of months ago for I Get a Massage, We Both Get a Happy Ending, asking him to come over tonight. Jerry says he'd"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

"I'm Dating Someone with Herpes. Still Wanna Have Sex with Me?"

by Pervertically Virtuous
herpes-simplex-virus
I wake up feeling horny. I have work to do all day, but I want to get laid later. So I text Jerry, the guy who I found on Craigslist a couple of months ago for I Get a Massage, We Both Get a Happy Ending, asking him to come over tonight.
Jerry says he'd love to, but that he's been dating a girl with HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus) recently and that it wouldn't be fair to me if he was with me before getting checked.
I appreciate the honesty. I really do. But, I see no reason why he shouldn't come over tonight without getting checked.
See, except during an active outbreak (i.e., an acute genital ulcer), HSV is difficult to transmit. One study estimated that the likelihood of transmission from man to a woman was 0.0009 per single sex act; it was even lower from woman to a man - 0.0002 per sex act. Using condoms reduces that risk even further. So does daily suppressive therapy. (Here's a good overview of the data on HSV transmission from the NYT.)
So I tell Jerry that unless he had sex with her while she was having an active outbreak, I'm not too worried and he should come over.
"But there is always risk involved," Jerry warns me again.
Me: Yes, of course there is always risk involved. Any sexual encounter with a little known casual partner involves risk. I wish everyone was as aware, honest, and open about their STI status as you are. But the reality is that most people are not. They either don't know or are not willing/comfortable sharing such information. Which is why I don't rely on my partners to keep me safe. Instead, with all my casual partners I operate under the assumption that they are HIV, HSV, HPV, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and [insert any other STI] positive. So I use condoms religiously, and I accept the remaining level of risk. Remember how you met me? If I weren't comfortable with some level of risk, do you think I would be soliciting sexual partners on Craigslist?
Jerry: And by that you mean to say you want me to go over and fuck you tonight?
Me: Yes, please.
Pervertically Virtuous | January 7, 2014 at 12:55 pm | 

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