Tuesday, February 28, 2017

TMI Tuesday: February 27, 2017 ~ Keep Calm

1. Which one of the following do you need increased privacy:
a. Online interaction such as internet search and website interaction
b. Sex
c. Drinking or taking drugs (including marijuana use)
d. Work
~ Obviously you need a degree of privacy for all of these, but since drugs are illegal they top my list.

2. What decade in life were you most happiest with your sex life? Why? For example: teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.
~ My 20s. Young, carefree, and happy. And having more sex :)

If I was in my 20's (maybe even my early 30s) I know we'd totally have hit it off! ;)
3. What is the sexiest TV show you have watched in the last year? Why is it sexy to you?
~ Masters of Sex. Lizzy Caplan is to die for. I binge watched all four seasons and totally fell in love with her the character she plays. She (her character) represents my dream woman/partner. I had to keep reminding myself that she was a creation of the scriptwriters because Masters Of Sex is pretty much all made up. The real personal life of Virginia Johnson is unknown.

4. What sex scene, from a movie, would you like to recreate?
~ Any of them! All of them? Seriously, there were some very hot scenes in Masters of Sex (a Showtime series). I wanna be this guy:

5. Your sex life is to become a reality series. Which of the following titles best fits:
a. “Too Big To Fail”
b. “Years of Solitude”
c. “A Visual Guide for the Perplexed” and/or
d. “Yes please, Any Time and Anywhere

Bonus: The Late Phoenix would like to know your family’s secret recipes because he is hungry and thirsty all the time. Please share.
~ Sorry, it's a secret.
UPDATE: Inspired by Arj's post let me offer this: Put some ice in a glass, add Jack Daniels, sip. Alternately, if you feel like a drink you can guzzle: add some coke to the glass.

Double Bonus: I really wanna be this guy (leaked selfies of guess who?):


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, February 27, 2017

Ask PV: How Discreet Are You About Your Sex Life?

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Upon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. Today I'm answering two, since they are both short and kinda related. #5. Is discretion the order of the day with today's society firmly sett"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

How Discreet Are You About Your Sex Life?

by Pervertically Virtuous
AuthenticityUpon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. Today I'm answering two, since they are both short and kinda related.
#5. Is discretion the order of the day with today's society firmly setting the boundaries which you have obviously overstepped?
Not necessarily. I don't need to hide my lifestyle too much. My husband obviously knows about it, my friends know about it, many of my colleagues know about it. So I also don't go to great lengths to hide anything from anyone.
That being said, I don't flaunt my sexuality everywhere I go. I don't talk about it all the time with everyone. Even with my friends. Even I get tired of talking about sex all the time. In fact, I'll often try to stay away from the topic but I get dragged into it by others wanting to talk about it. I don't bring it up right away with people I've just met (unless I'm meeting them in a specifically sex-positive environment or trying to fuck them) or with colleagues. I try not to fuck (m)any colleagues.
The Redhead Bedhead recently had a post where she talked about "that girl" at parties:
"You all know "that girl" especially if you remember that time period. She would talk loudly and provocatively about sex for no reason other than attention. She would make out with her female friends because "guys think it's hot" She say things like "Oh no! I lost my pen! I must have left it behind at my last lesbian orgy!" My personal favorite "that girl" story from my early twenties involves a night out with some friends that was pretty much defined by a girl who sat at the middle of the bar and proceeded to hold court (loudly) on her great love of anal sex."
I am typically not "that girl". (I'm not saying it has never happened, but the vast majority of the time, I am much more reserved.)
I also try to be as discreet as possible with information regarding other people, so as to preserve their discretion.
#6. Do you have close friends that you would consider to live a more standard life (i.e., marriage, no wild sex parties, kids, only one sexual partner), that you still can trust enough to feel comfortable to divulge anything you may have on your mind, without any fear whatsoever?
Absolutely! I have friends who live crazy lives like mine. I also have friends who live very traditional lives. One of my best friends is a guy who is almost incapable of having casual sex - he typically doesn't get to the sex part until 5th or 6th date. Another close friend is still a virgin at the age of 25. Both of their dreams consist of a monogamous marriage, kids, a couple of dogs/cats, and a white picket fence. And I have many other friends who are somewhere in between.
What all my friends have in common is not a penchant for a crazy sexual lifestyle, it's an understanding and no judgement for other people's sexual choices, however crazy or not crazy they may be. Friends are not like family or coworkers, who you often get stuck with. Friends are people you choose. And I would never choose to be friends with people I wouldn't feel comfortable being who I am. I refuse to live in fear and hiding unless I absolutely have to.
As that quote in the photo above says - I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. This has been my motto ever since I was a teenager. And I truly hope it is yours too.
Have a question for me? Ask me anything!
Pervertically Virtuous | February 27, 2014 at 9:55 am | 

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Some vacation reading...

As you will know from yesterday's post: by the time you read this my wife and I will be in Mexico, for a BNG conference later in the week. You'll also know from yesterday's post that we finally had sex after a two week hiatus at 5am on Friday morning. What I left out of that post was that I was climbing the walls (prior to the sex) because my wife was about to have her period. It happens all the time, it must be the hormones/pheromones - it just makes me super horny.

I mentioned to my wife in the morning that I could sense her was period was due and I always get horny then. She laughed. When she came home at lunchtime she told me I was right, and that her period had arrived. She told me I was better at knowing her cycle than she was, since she had no clue.

Anyway long story short, I'm not the only one who gets super horny when she's having her period - my wife does too. That's when she goes on her Kindleporn binges. She spends hours/days on her iPad reading dirty stories. When those aren't enough she goes to Literotica and consumes dozens of those stories too.

So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see these purchases in her browser history at 6pm on Friday night. I guess she'll be doing a lot of reading while we are at the conference (together with a few vacation days before and after). Just look at her choices:

Full Package ~ Lauren Blakely
Blakely's other titles include 'Well Hung', 'Mr O', and 'Big Rock' (geddit?) and I'm fairly sure my wife has at least one of these titles. The blurb for Big Full Package reads: 
I've been told I have quite a gift. Hey, I don't just mean in my pants. I've got a big brain too, and a huge heart of gold. And I like to use all my gifts to the fullest, the package included. Life is smooth sailing.... I have to shack up with my buddy's smoking hot and incredibly amazing little sister, a man's got to do what a man's got to do. I can resist Josie. I'm disciplined, I'm focused, and I keep my hands to myself, even in the mere five-hundred square feet we share. Until the one night she insists on sliding under the covers with me. It'll help her sleep after what happened that day, she says. Spoiler--neither one of us sleeps.

Her Touch ~ Alexa Riley
Riley's other titles include 'Paying Daddy's Debt' and I know my wife has that one, since I read it. I thought it was kinda lame (and OMG the ending was so rushed and super lame) but clearly it did something for my wife since she's bought this title. The blurb for Her Touch fails to mention the daughter is 16 but online reviewers do and I know my wife likes that sort of stuff:

Eli Strong got out of the military and all he wanted to do was get better. He never expected that the officer he was living with would have a daughter who tested his honor. She’s forbidden fruit, and he’s trying to not to taste… But desire can only be denied for so long. Circumstances keep pulling them back together, and something truly unforeseen happens. Overnight, Eli becomes a guardian and Maggie his ward. Will Eli keep his hands off Maggie? Will Maggie like it if he doesn’t? Will the two of them break the law because it feels so good? Only one way to find out!

Taking TurnsJ.A. Huss
I'm not sure how my wife found this one since I can't recognise any related titles, but the subject matter seems to be right up her alley. The blurb isn't very clear but once again the online reviewers let you know what the book is really about. Basically a woman is locked in a closet and kept there, to be used by three men who come and go and use her as they please. All sorts of hot kinky sex ensues, according to those that have read it. The official blurb is:

I should’ve thought it over before I accepted the key and unlocked the door to their forbidden world. Number One is mostly silent. He watches me with them very carefully. His gaze never wanders. His interest never wanes. Number Two is mostly gentle. But it’s the other side of him I like best. The wild side. Number Three is mostly reserved. He refuses to cross the line. Even when I beg. It was carnal, it was sensual, and it was erotic. That’s it. That’s all it was supposed to be. A trip into the dark. A peek into the forbidden. I just didn’t expect to like them.

It remains to be seen how much sex ensues IRL as my wife churns her way through these titles. Hopefully Dirty Stories = Dirty Sex, but it doesn't always work out that way.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Desperation leads to Sad Sex

So the last time we had sex was February 10 (here) and I've slowly been climbing up the walls ever since. We didn't have sex on Valentine's Day, nor on the days or weekends following and this sent me into a tailspin. I tried desperately to fathom why my wife was rebuffing my attempts at intimacy and it wasn't helped by the discovery of plans she was making to see This Guy in Europe in April.

Added to that was our pending trip to Mexico (we leave today) and the memory of the last time she went: This Guy had ordered up a limo and taken my wife from the BNG conference in LA for a wild night in Tijuana. Her BNG BFF was with her that night, and it was a night they earned themselves the nickname 'the BNG Party Girls'. I don't know specifically what they did, but I do know they ended up in Biker Bar that had strippers in the front and a brothel at the back. The mind boggles.

So this time the BNG conference is actually in Mexico and this time I get to go. This Guy won't be there but my wife's BNG BFF is travelling with us and I'm well aware that the pressure is on for us to relive that wild night two years ago. It's all her BFF talks about. This Guy has even mentioned it in his private emails to my wife.

So this past week in particular has been hard and I've had next to no sleep. Everytime I went to bed I was confronted with the fact that my wife was right next to me physically and yet so far away sexually. She clearly didn't want to make love to me (or me to her) and was instead planning her European meet with This Guy in April (under the auspice's of yet another BNG conference - how many does she need to go to, really?)

And so it was that at 5am on Friday morning I was still tossing and turning in my bed. I'd been arguing with myself about whether to masturbate since I hadn't had any sexual release since this and I didn't know what mood I'd be in in Mexico if I didn't. I'd been holding off in the vain hope that my wife would respond - but she hadn't. Maybe she had something planned for Friday night, since I know we'd be partying in Mexico with her BNG buddies as soon as we got there. Besides, her BFF was travelling with us and staying with us too, so we weren't going to be fucking on our shared room.

So... somehow I ended up standing beside my wife on her side of the bed staring at her. She had the covers off and was half naked. She had been snoring lightly moments earlier but now she wasn't.

"Can't sleep?" she murmured in the darkness.

I said nothing.

"What do you want?" she asked softly, half yawning.

I dropped my boxers to the floor, again without a word in answer. She reached out and grabbed my stiff prick, fondling it slowly, feeling it's length, rubbing her thumb over the head. Satisfied I was rock hard she started stroking me faster.

"Horny are you?" she said, rhetorically. I stepped closer and leaned down to to squeeze her breast and cup her pussy simultaneously.

"It's been so long," I grunted "I'm ready to burst".

Now it was she who was quiet.

I wet my fingers and started working her pussy with my hand. She started jacking me faster, whilst squirming beneath me. Her cunt was wet so I leaned down to lick her clit. My tongue pushed and probed but I couldn't find it. How could she be wet but not aroused? This just added to the confusion swirling in my head.

I'm not sure how but now I was between her legs, her back arched as I pushed forward and entered her. She moaned and squirmed beneath me as I started fucking her. Her arms were splayed out by her sides and her head tossed from side to side, but slowly. She wasn't thrashing. She was moaning. She was dialing up the vibrator speed, making it amp up harder. The vibrator. yes, at some point we had got the vibrator out.

Now she was starting to thrash around, gritting her teeth as the orgasm approached. My cock was lubed, I remembered that. I pulled my cock out and aimed at her asshole. She was clearly in throes of passion, about to cum, so this would be the best time to fuck her ass. I was all lubed up and ready to cum. It would be quick and painless.

"What are you doing?" she asked, "why are you doing that?"


That was not good. Now was not the right time. I changed back, reinserting my rock hard cock into her pussy. We'd hardly skipped a beat and she her back arched again as I slid in.

"I'm ready to cum" I said, holding her thighs tightly as my dick slid in slowly, balls deep. Once all the way in I held her there, without moving. She was fingering herself furiously and using the vibe at the same time. I was just remaining motionless - I knew if I moved I'd cum.

I came anyway.

I felt the orgasm but not the ejaculation. I was so detached from what was happening - I could feel the orgasm but not the ejaculation. I knew I should move, make some thrusts so my balls would slap her ass, but I didn't. I just held her there and came. Was any sperm coming out or was I just feeling a soft dull pleasure? I had no way of knowing.

"I'm cumming" I said, but I was really on the downward slope already. I still hadn't moved a muscle and yet my wife hadn't noticed. She had been moving for the both of us, I guess. She stopped too and reached over to the nightstand to grab the tissues.

I pulled out and used the tissues to catch the mess. There was a lot of mess. Clearly there was sperm coming out when I came, and lots of it. Lots of it. I kissed her and rolled over and went to sleep. It was 5.30am.  I woke up again at 8.30, feeling like shit. She was fine and getting ready for her first  meeting.

I apologised and told her I felt really bad for 'disturbing' her like that. I said I didn't like doing it that way, but I couldn't help myself - it had been so long since we'd last had sex and my baser instincts took over. I said that I felt like a rapist.

She said that she quite enjoyed it. From her tone I could tell what she meant was that secretly she really enjoyed it. She said she didn't have a problem being woken up like that early in the morning, and then squeezed my butt and headed out for her first meeting.

You're probably thinking this is good news for me, but it's not.

I am absolutely not a morning person. I cannot function in any way before 10am. The only reason I managed to on Friday morning was because I'd actually been up all night.

This sux.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Mistress Asmondena for #fetishfriday

via Instagram

A little #instagramshrine I made for Mistress Asmondena!
All images © Mistress Asmondena, find her at @mistress_asmondena of course!
#fetishmodel #rubber #latex #beautiful

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Surplus to requirements

I've just scheduled two posts for March that relate to Japan. I had to upload a few images to illustrate them but this one was surplus to requirements (since it didn't fit the theme).

The Japanese love anime and Japanese men love their anime porn especially. It generally features young women (girls really) and it can be very deviant* - very young girls, tentacles, and rape are common and popular themes. This is generally credited for both the low birth rate (the Japanese don't have much sex apparently) and the small number of rapes in the country. But given the culture of Japan (predominantly male dominated, and very open/accepting of 'deviant'* porn) one might wonder how many unreported rapes there are?

*deviant, as defined by American standards. (And yes, I think very young girls and rape fantasies are a deviation from the norm too - definitely not my thing)

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

My wife and This Guy, texting again ~ Part 2

My wife and This Guy have been continuing to plan for their reunion in {European city}. I won't go into all the background details again but check out the This Guy tags below and My wife and This Guy, texting again ~ Part 1. His words are in gray, and hers in blue.

Do you think:

  1. They're planning to get it on
  2. They're not 'planning' to get it on per se but you don't have to be a television scriptwriter to see where this is headed.
  3. There is nothing to worry about, they're just a couple of BNG pals looking forward to catching up.
  4. Anyone from BNG is going to tip me off if things get borderline (because others I know are going)? Or does what happen on conference stay on conference?**

I have this metaphor I use about infidelity. People often say they never planned to cheat on their partner: "it just happened". Sometimes they will blame it on alcohol: "we were drunk, it just happened." These excuses always remind me of a bunch of high spirited teenage girls around a pool. No-one plans to jump in the pool with their clothes on but somehow it always happens.

One minute you're standing by the edge of the pool (possibly talking loudly to your BFF about how "OMG Becky, we are standing so close to the pool! Careful, or we might fall in!!" and then the next minute some boy is pushing you in and you're all wet. All wet and your t-shirt/blouse is clinging to your skin and everyone can pretty much see your boobs, including that cute boy you were hoping would notice you. Oh no, how did that happen?!

"It just happened" of course, not your fault.

I've told my wife once "If you stand that close to the edge of the pool don't be surprised if you fall in and get wet. If you want to stay dry then don't stand by the edge of the pool." I made this comment because my wife was going through a phase where she was partying very hard (without me, but with her BNG buddies) and coming home quite drunk.

My wife then replied "You get so paranoid, I don't like it. If you keep thinking I'm having an affair then one day I might as well have one, since you think I'm having one anyway."

I still don't believe that was the right way to respond to my concerns.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

TMI Tuesday: February 21, 2017 ~ Fill-in the blanks

Fill-in the blanks...

1. I am too busy to _____ .
Um, I'm not really. Maybe that's the problem? Maybe I have too much time on my hands, too much time to think over-think, hence all my angst? (I finally got to sleep at 4.30am this morning and up again at 8.38am - this is not good)

2. Last week I did not do TMI Tuesday because _____ . 

3. Last week’s TMI Tuesday’s _____ were _____ .
Last week’s TMI Tuesday questions were interesting.
(and last week’s TMI Tuesday answers were too long???)

4. _____ depends on dreams.
Happiness depends on dreams.

5. Virgin _____ .
Virgin Atlantic. I've never flown them. Why is that? I should really give them a try.

Bonus: The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
This assumes you forget what you know. Not always true. Anything I've forgotten was most likely extraneous and therefore wiped from my data storage unit to make room for new information. Learning is a good thing. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. What did I learn this week? Something very interesting about This Guy and my wife. It gets a post all on it's own tomorrow.

Double Bonus: An update on Monday Morning Blues: my wife has swapped our 4 night booking (an $800 deal) for her friends 6 night booking (but we're only using 5 nights) for a cost of $2,000 + paying for a fancy dinner at the hotel. [See the link, her BNG friend will be there but his brother cancelled on a non refundable special deal so her friend offered us his brothers' room]. Evidently the room cost $3,000 but we're getting it for $2,000. Which by my calculations means we're paying $1200 (+ plus dinner for her friend and his wife for giving us this great deal!) for that one extra night - albeit in a much better room. It doesn't sound like a good deal to me but what do I know? You gotta spend money to make money, right?

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, February 20, 2017

Monday Morning Blues

My wife bought lube yesterday while at the supermarket. I saw it in the grocery bag when she came home (along with the tampons she'd bought our daughter). I thought maybe that meant we were in for some action last night, but no, nothing happened. Despite us going out for a nice dinner with her parents last night. But no, when she got home she went straight back on her computer and booked a double room in [European city] for when she visits This Guy in April. (She doesn't know I know, of course).

The thing is, we fly to Mexico for two weeks on Saturday. One week for a BNG conference and another week for 'a vacation'. The vacation will be with a bunch of BNG people (did I mention it has cult-like qualities?) so it will really just be an extension of the conference, but without the 'Morning Speaker' and 'Afternoon Speaker', ie just a lot of excuses for excessive drinking and showing off.

Oh well, what's the worst that can happen? That I have to look at Latina hotties like this lounging by the pool all day? Sign me up!

The other thing is, my wife's BNG BFF is also travelling with us. This is the woman my wife had that Tijuana escapade with (courtesy of This Guy) and was party to The night my wife went off at me (scroll down to the last 3 paragraphs for that bit). So I suspect I've been 'invited' because my wife needs/expects a sober companion to keep her and her BFF from running completely amok. By which I mean they will run amok anyway but I will be there to ensure they get back to bed at the end of it.

Now when I was first told that her BFF was joining us I assumed she would be staying with us too (ie a two bedroom apartment/hotel room) which I knew would cramp any chance of sex with my wife while we were away. But I was wrong and although the BFF would be travelling with us (for safety, her being a single woman) she would have her own hotel room. So "Yay!" I thought, maybe we would get some romantic time for ourselves after all.

Then it was back to "Boo!" yesterday when I saw an email from another of her BNG buddies. He was cancelling his attendance but because he'd bought a special deal on a 6 star hotel there would be no refund. So he was offering it to my wife free of charge if she wanted it. My wife asked about her BFF and he said there was another bed in the sofa, so my wife said "Yay! We'll take it!"**. And then he mentioned the room cost $3,000 for the week... and knowing my wife as I do she'll be giving him most of that (if not all of that) because she doesn't want to be seen as a cheapskate, she wants to be seen as a high roller.

The crazy thing is, if the situation was the other way around my wife would be giving away the room, and refusing any payment. I've seen her do similar a dozen times.

Anyway, that means the BFF won't be in her own room but in ours - the exact same physical space as us. So there will definitely be no intimacy! If this were a different type of sex blog you might say "Cheer up Nero, maybe you'll all come home drunk one night and one thing will lead to another and you'll end up in a 3way?" But it's not that type of sex blog so I know that shit aint happening. Not in a million years.

But maybe I'm wrong, maybe... no, let's not waste any time on fantasies. What I'm really interested in pondering is whether my wife and I will have any sex before the week is out. Did she buy that lube to use in Mexico or did she buy it now to 'give me one' before we go, so I won't get all grumpy while we're away? It might be fun to run a sweepstake readers: will it happen tonight (Monday)? or Wednesday (scheduled sex night, even though that has completely fallen by the wayside) or Friday night (last chance before we fly out on Saturday)?


Even though my wife said "Yay! We'll take it!" to her BNG buddy she was saying to me "[X] has offered us his room for free, but it's a block from where the conference is so we'll just stay in the one I booked." I have no idea why she's done this. I wonder how she'll explain it a week from now?

Sunday, February 19, 2017

This video made me sad...

I know the Bible says "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife" (it's one of the Ten Commandments) but I covet Chrissy Teigen. And it's okay because my wife covets Chrissy Teigen too. She's never admitted it but I'm pretty damn sure my wife would answer "Chrissy Teigen" if ever asked 'Who would you turn Gay for?'  I'm not kidding, we watch Lip Sync Battle from time to time and my wife is all eyes on Chrissy Teigen. She just loves her. Seriously.

I'm pretty sure somewhere in my wife's mind Chrissy Teigen represents the perfect ideal of what my wife could have been if her life had been different.  If she was living in a parallel universe my wife would be Chrissy Teigen. But she wouldn't be married to John Legend, she'd be single and vamping it up with ALL the guys. She'd have her pick of handsome, urbane, wealthy, worldly, and powerful men.  Just like in one of her dirty books.

But I digress.

The reason the video made me sad was because Chrissy Teigen seems sooo sexy, fun loving, and devoted to her man. You just know she and John Legend are madly in love and having lots and lots of awesome sex. That's why I covet Chrissy Teigen - she loves her man and holds nothing back. My wife on the other hand (you knew this was coming didn't you?) loves me but has no passion for me. She does not want to jump my bones, and fudges when I try to jump hers.

She'd be the first to say "If you looked like John Legend I'd jump on you too" but I don't think it's really that. If you love someone, truly love them, then you take them as they are. You don't get put off by a few extra pounds - in fact if you truly love someone you don't even see those extra pounds. Love is blind after all, amiright?

Chrissy Teigen as she appears in the video above.
Yeah, you're gonna scroll back and watch it now aren't you? :)

We still haven't had sex since Two Nights of Mindfuckery happened, despite my efforts to entice her. And I don't just mean giving her Kindleporn on Valentines Day (see Another sucky Valentine's Day to see how that turned out) I really did try to make some romantic gestures across the week - which were all rebuffed. She spent Wednesday in another city so I sent some flirty texts about being her private Uber driver (she'd mentioned on Monday how the Uber driver had flirted with her and was asking questions that made it clear he was interested if she was interested) and picked her up at 10pm from the Airport.

She chuckled at my texts but by the time I collected her (flight delays) she was in no mood for anything. And that mood continued all week. I'm not even going to get into it now because it's the same ol' same ol' - we had a lovely time on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday but ... nothing. When we get to the bedroom it's lights out and then... "it's really late". (That was the comment she made when I placed my hand on her hip. She rolled over and away...)

So it's Sunday 2.24am and I'm alone again. Feeling sorry for myself. Nothing new there either so I'll stop now. Thank you for listening.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Black & Red for FETISH FRIDAY

via Instagram
50 Shades of... RED & BLACK
Original images by @mistress_asmondena @playboy and others ie © them not me. #pinup #rubber #latex #50shadesofgrey #fetish #fetishmodel #50shadesdarker #boots #corset

Thursday, February 16, 2017

One of my favorite Instagram pages...

via Instagram
ALWAYS consistently excellent. Check 'em out @dollhousephotographyuk
#pinup #pinupgirl #lingerie #babe #repost

OPP ~ Bored with your Sex Life?

I stumbled across this page on the internet and found it quite interesting. Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D, psychotherapist and author of “Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage (Adams Media 2008)” offers tips to improve intimacy with your mate. People ask questions and she gives advice - and it's good advice.

So I'm going to excerpt a few sample questions, together with her advice, and then give my responses to the original question as well. For the full article click on Dr. Romance: Bored with your Sex Life?

Q: Sometimes I feel sexually excited, but I don’t always feel desire for my husband. In other words, I’d rather take things into my own hands. Does this mean there’s something wrong or missing from our relationship?
A: Sure it’s normal. It’s more direct and easier to do it yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Keep in mind, however, that the easy route might not be the best route for your marriage. If you can direct that energy toward having sex with your husband, your marriage will benefit. Also, take a little time to think about whether anything is going on between you that’s putting you off.It’s better to talk about that directly than to avoid it and go off by yourself.
I've often wondered if my wife does this. For the life of me I can't understand why we don't have sex more often given that she seems to really enjoy it when we do (yes, yes, she could be faking) and seems to orgasm at least once or twice (yes, yes, she could still be faking). When her period is due she goes on a Kindleporn binge that can last for days. She must be masturbating, surely?

Q: My husband and I have been married for many years. Thankfully I have orgasms somewhat easily and consistently, but I don’t always look forward to sex. Weeks can go by without me missing it. Is this bad??
A: It’s normal in a long-term marriage for spontaneous sexuality to diminish and even disappear. Don’t continue to expect sex to generate itself as your marriage becomes more familiar and comfortable. You need to begin generating the sexual energy with each other. Try creating a mood, making a way for the two of you to transition from daily chores and hassles to intimacy. You might want to cuddle on the couch or surprise him with a kiss. You both need a signal that tells your partner that it’s time for sex.
My wife could have written this. She has no problem climaxing when she wants to - she just doesn't seem to want to.  I've followed all Tessina's advice to the letter - but with no positive results. I've even told my wife (in a caring communicative way) that she needs to find a better way to signal when she's receptive/hungry for sex. Because she gives no clues, zero signals, and I have no idea. It makes me feel like a dirty old man sometimes. Yes, I know some people get off on that but not me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Another sucky Valentine's Day

When I said at the end of yesterday's post "...Check out the 'Valentine's Day' tag at the bottom of this post for some 'more upbeat' posts about Valentine's Day from previous years..." I completely forgot that not all of those Valentine's Day posts were upbeat. Most were, but a few weren't - namely because I've had a few sucky Valentine's Days. And the reason they suck is always the same:

There's nothing sadder than not getting laid on Valentine's Day.

I suppose I should clarify: There's nothing sadder than not getting laid on Valentine's Day when you have a significant other. Nothing spells rejection like not getting laid on Valentine's Day when you have a significant other, it's a complete slap in the face. They're saying 'yeah, I know today is meant to be all about romance but I'm not feeling it so no, it aint happening.'

Our day started with an exchange of Valentine's Day cards, which duly expressed our love for each other and recognised our long union, together with a wish for many more years to come. My card featured teddy bears and love hearts, and came with the latest copy of a magazine my wife reads. My wife's card featured a gangly unattractive thin man who was offering his services as a Strippergram. My wife made a note saying that she looked forward to me maybe performing a sexy dance later that night. There was no gift, not even chocolate that she has gotten me in previous years.

My wife then showered, dressed and prepared herself for all day meetings - which meant good bye from her at 10am until she returned at 5pm**, just as I was leaving to collect our dog from Doggy Day Care. At which point I was told that our dinner plans had changed ie there were no dinner plans. Originally my daughter was bringing a friend over for a sleepover and they were going to have pizza delivered while we went out for a romantic dinner for two. But now the friend wasn't coming so... our romantic dinner was now... takeout or a romantic dinner for two plus one surly teen.

Dinner for two plus one surly teen it was. After collecting the dog I stopped at the restaurant and asked if they could make it for three and they said 'No problem, but you'll need to come at 6.30pm instead otherwise we can't seat all of you'. I could see the restaurant had been rearranged into a sea of tables for two, so I took what was offered. When we were seated we were placed at a table for six near the bathrooms and told we had to be out by 7.30pm for the next family booking.

It was a fun dinner. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, we needed to have a conversation with my daughter about money so we did. It was a short conversation. My wife agreed to bump our daughters allowance from $10 a week to $75 a week, plus give her an additional $75 a month for 'incidentals'. My daughter wanted a credit card (she's 15!!) so we my wife compromised and agreed to give her a debit card (so she can buy things on the internet).

And that was that. Dinner all done and dusted in under sixty minutes!

When we got home my wife was straight back on the computer because she had more meetings today and needed to prepare. Our daughter went straight to her room and was never seen again, while I searched the web for a suitable Parental Control app so we could switch off our daughters crack internet access when we needed to. At about 9.30pm I came upstairs to begin wooing my wife, since she often complains we go to bed too late to have sex.

My wife cut me off immediately (cock blocked?) by saying we should watch Netflix, since we had recently started watching Suits and had three more seasons to get through. It wasn't quite Netflix & Chill because she was checking her Facebook on her phone a lot and then later went and got her laptop as well. Multi-tasking I think women call it - and are so proud of themselves for doing so too. We watched three episodes and then my wife got up and said we'd have to watch the rest later because she had meetings early the next morning. And it was now 11.45pm.

She didn't kiss me goodnight, nor did she give me any invitation to join her, she just got up and left.

By the time I'd put the dog out, and then brought the dog back in, and then gone up to bed the lights were out and my wife was asleep.

Another sucky Valentine's Day indeed.


** Pardon my patheticism (is that even a word? spellcheck says "yes") but I did think maybe my wife would come home at lunchtime or later in the afternoon as a Valentine's Day 'surprise'. I figured with all those meetings squeezed into one day (which is abnormal) maybe she'd put a few dummy appointments in our shared diary so that I would think she was busy, when really she was planning to have a romantic lunch with me, or (because I'm a guy) come home for a Valentine's Day quickie.

She didn't.

There was one more Valentine's Day gift from me to my wife, one that I couldn't give her in the morning. At 4pm I emailed her a link to a private Dropbox folder I'd created called 'Valentine's Day'. In it were five erotic novels she could upload to her Kindle, together with the message:
"Happy Valentine's Day!!
I have no idea how good or bad these are but I hope you enjoy them. And if you enjoy them I have some more... if you're a good girl! ;)

I figured she'd like them because they were very similar to the ones she buys herself, and the genres she likes too: Aunt in Bondage, Bondage Whore, The Boss, Under The Boss's Desk, and Strictly Business.

She never mentioned them, even though I know she opened the email and received the 'gift'. I wanted her to know I was accepting of her need to read love of  Kindleporn, but as I've noted before, it seems she wants that to be her thing and not something to share with me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017


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50 Shades of... RED & BLACK
I've been counting down to #valentinesday with a #dailypic every day.
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TMI Tuesday – February 14, 2017 ~ Choices, Bonds & Significant Others

Happy Valentine's Day Everybody!
~ NERO xo
1. Scientists claim that being “in love” only lasts within the first six months of a relationship. Are you “in love” with your significant other or are you simply compatible.
~ We've been together for over 20+ years. I'd like to think that means we love each other. That's what our Valentine's Day Cards both said this morning. But as readers of my blog know, our relationship is fraught. I often wonder if my wife is only still with me because she doesn't want 'failed marriage' on her resume?

2. A relationship has a stronger bond when both people in the relationship work toward resolving issues whether it be with kids, finances, management of home, etc. Do you solve problems with your significant other [s.o.] or are you the real and only problem solver.
~ Funny you should ask this, since 'problems' have come to a head this week. My wife earns all the money and I earn nothing (I don't work, because she doesn't want me to work, because I don't need to work, because she has so much money) but I'm the one who's expected to provide our daughters weekly allowance. I literally don't have any money but I have to put money in our daughters account when she needs it. This year our daughter is asking for a $100 every few days because 'Mom said you'd cover my food and clothing costs'. What 15 y.o. needs to spend $200 on 'lingerie'?
It's been brewing a while but this weekend I need to have a sit down with my wife and sort this out - I literally have $8 left in my account.

3. Research shows resentment mounts in couples who have an imbalance in household chore duties. If you live with your s.o. do you both do chores and have an equal amount of chores in the household?
~ We have a cleaner who comes in for 4 hours a week. That covers most of it. We eat out 50% of the time but if anyone cooks it's usually my wife. I clean up afterwards. If I cook I clean up afterwards. We each do our own laundry.

4. Marriage in the U.S.A. has changed over time from being for survival (home, food), to companionate love during most of the 20th Century, to 1960s to present being about personal fulfillment. Is your relationship meaningful to you for companionship or is it personally fulfilling?
~ Not sure if I really understand this question, but it's a great link. I definitely believe our marriage has fallen into a 'Companionate Love' rut; and yet I would say both of us want a 'Passionate Love'. The problem is that my wife has possibly 'settled' for Companionate because she can't be Passionate with me. I have no doubt she considers me overweight and physically/sexual unappealing. Yes, I can make her cum, but I suspect she resents it subconsciously which is why we have irregular sex. 
I, on the other hand, am very passionate about my wife and would love to maintain a passionate intimacy. This excerpt from the companionate love link is most likely what describes my wife:
Older couples with a lifetime of shared history, couples who are not particularly prone to passion in any area of their lives, and those who are dealing with serious life situations may be perfectly content with companionate love.
On the other hand, for many people, life is not complete without passion. Those couples may be at more risk for straying, seeking out passion and novelty with new partners while retaining the comfortable companionate relationship they have at home.
I say that because my wife is going to a conference in Europe in April but staying 4 extra days so she can visit This Guy in another city (his). He's a much younger man and clearly besotted with her (IMO). I think she is flattered by his attentions and has decided to 'allow herself' an affair. How else do you explain taking a side trip to see a guy you've only met twice before? (Both times at conferences, but only once when your husband was there also).

5. In general do people think of you as a “couple” with your s.o. or do they connect with you individually just as much as a connecting with you as a couple. Do you feel you’ve lost your individuality since being in a serious romantic relationship?
~ Definitely. My wife has successively subsumed all my relationships with other people. Anyone I was friends with she became friends with - which is normal when you're a couple but she takes over and then neuters me so that we now only interact as a couple. It's kinda hard to explain accurately without giving away TMI but trust me on it. I simply couldn't imagine going to hang out with one of my friends without my wife but she on the other hand has an additional circle of 'her' friends that I'm not involved with. She goes out with them for group dinners but I'm not invited.
Yesterday's post Two Nights of Mindfuckery was so long I had to leave out that I suspected the reason we didn't have sex on Saturday night was because my wife was irked to see me connecting so well with her BNG buddies. Okay, technically it was their wives I was connecting with, but usually seeing other women interested in me makes her horny. As in: it makes it okay to have sex with me because even though I may be an overweight schlub if other women say I'm a really great guy and they wished they had one like me then it reflects well on her. But for some reason Saturday night was different and she sought to emasculate me publicly by telling these women as we left that we wouldn't be having sex because I'd already had my quota for the month.

Bonus: You are invited to a large cocktail party at a fancy country club where you know no one. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already half full of people–naked people. How do you react when you enter the room?
~ First I think "Whoa! A room full of naked women - sweet!!!" And then I think "I'm not expected to take off my clothes too am I? Hell no!!" 
If we were expected to take off our clothes as a condition of entry I would seek a compromise: how about my wife takes off her clothes and I keep mine on? I'm sure with one look at the pair of us they'd agree on the spot!

Double Bonus: Check out the 'Valentine's Day' tag at the bottom of this post for some 'more upbeat' posts about Valentine's Day from previous years.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, February 13, 2017

50 Shades of... BLACK

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Two Nights of Mindfuckery

So on Friday night we had sex. I thought it was good, but on Saturday night my wife publicly said at a party (when asked if we were going home to have sex) "No, we had sex last night, that's his ration for the month. I have to ration it out because he wants it all the time." It was said in jest (the women laughed) but when we got home to bed my wife got into her nightie straight away and pulled the covers over her. And then turned on the TV to the movie channel.

It went down like this:

the 21 and the 23 year old were as hot as theses two, except they were both blond

Long story short we had been at a social event with her BNG buddies early on Friday evening, and that stretched out into a long night. About a third of the people there were like me: 'partners' not BNG members. My life likes to work the room at these things, and she prefers to do it alone ie she likes it if I don't hang around her. Which was fine on Friday because two of the partners were 21 and 23 babes and we tend to gravitate to each other and talk about non BNG stuff. Or what it's like to be with someone in the cult of BNG.

Even though I was twice their age we made a genuine connection, probably because I listened to them and gave some good advice. And didn't try to make a pass - women appreciate that. We all got very drunk, but being older I was smart enough to not to give away too much information. The other two weren't so careful. I was clearly in 'the friend zone' and after more than a few wines they were sharing stuff about their partners maybe they shouldn't have - especially since I knew them.

It was interesting stuff, and the 23 year old in particular went very deep. The 21 year old not so much, but then I don't think she was capable of going deep. Aw, don't get bitchy Nero! The point is: it was great to see I could still connect with women half my age, there was even a minor sexual frisson with the 23 (that both of us knew would never amount to anything in this universe), and we all had a really good time. My wife was happy too, possibly because she also enjoys chatting to new people (ie men) and generating a bit of chemistry - all for business networking purposes of course!

So when we got home on Friday night my wife flopped down on the bed (quite tipsy/drunk) and I immediately lifted up her dress, exposing her crotch. As you may recall, we'd had sex on Tuesday but that was just mutual masturbation. She wouldn't let me eat her pussy and wouldn't let me penetrate her. Tonight I wanted to taste her pussy.

"Let me see that pussy" I said, as I raised her hem up over her panties "I wanna go down on you."

"Oh you do, do you?" she giggled, lifting her hips and pulling her panties down to her thighs.

"Yes, I do" I replied, pulling them down the rest of the way - below her knees, over her ankles, and casting them to the floor.

I settled between her legs and ate her out. High on all that vino she she squealed and squirmed and came quite quickly. I didn't let her off that easy, and made her cum a second time with a much gentler method. Clits can be very sensitive after orgasm, I know my wife's is.

"Now what are you going to do?" asked my wife, through glazed eyes.

It was a challenge more than a question, delivered with faux defiance. I contemplated fucking her ass (I sensed she was at the same level of intoxication that had worked so well the last time we'd done it so successfully) but there was no lube. I contemplated going to the bathroom and grabbing some hand lotion and then fucking her ass, but a little voice inside me said "Stay classy Nero".  So instead I climbed up on the bed and mounted her missionary style.

She was wet and tight - I slid straight in.

"Oooh, you're quite wet," I teased "who or what have you been thinking of?"

"This" she replied, "I want to get fucked."  That she didn't say who she wanted to fuck her wasn't lost on me, but maybe she realised it too because she followed it up with "I want you to fuck me, just fuck me. Fuck me good."

If you're going to spread your ass for me, I'm gonna fuck it, just sayin'

And that was it - she was off with the dirty talk again. She held me tight and urged me on, telling me to fuck her good, that she was a dirty girl, and that I should fuck her dirty hole. I pounded her hard and deep, rubbing her clit with the root of my cock as I did so, to the accompaniment of "oh yeah, that's it, mmmm, yeah, fuck me, c'mon, fill me up, cum in my hole"

It got to the point that I was getting paranoid she'd been reading this blog and was parroting some of my previous we-had-sex posts. But the dirty talk seemed real and I know she gets really horny when her period is due so I carried on regardless. I grabbed her butt from beneath and was pounding her deep when she blew her line. I forget the exact line but she said 'cock' instead of 'pussy', and then compounded the problem by saying the line again but with the correct 'pussy' used this time.


My hips didn't stop but my brain did. What did she just say? What was running through her head? She has previously said to me (sorry, can't find the link) that the reason she reads so many dirty/erotic stories about women getting kidnapped, raped, and forced into sexual subjugation (and usually loving it by the end) is that she imagines herself as the guy doing the subjugating. If that's true (unfortunately we didn't get into it properly) then that is a whole other WTF?! of it's own.

Was that what was happening now? Did she just fluff her fake dirty talk, or was the dirty talk real and she was imagining herself as me - me who was fucking her and... urging herself on? What kind of narcissistic power trip was that? And was she imagining herself fucking herself or... imagining herself fucking me? That would be even more WTF? than the first scenario, right?

If that sounds very very confusing you can imagine what was going through my head.

I had to stop, so I did.

"What's wrong? she asked.

"Nothing" I said, playing for time. I hopped off the bed and grabbed two pillows, which I stacked beside her. "Get on top, I wanna fuck you from behind". She happily assumed the position, hiking her skirt and diving over the pillows like it was a barrel. I climbed up, grabbed her hips, and again slid in easily. My cock was still rock hard so I had no problems there, despite my brain going in all directions. I decided if I pounded my wife hard enough those thoughts would go away, so I amped up the pace and it wasn't long before she was talking dirty again.

And her words seemed genuine, which was a good thing. She told me that she just wanted me to use her, to use her hole, and fuck me how I pleased, that she was a dirty girl with a dirty hole, and I could do what I wanted. She reached back and spread her cheeks, baring her asshole to me. She licked her finger, reached back, and then inserted it in her ass*, telling me that she knew I wanted to fuck her ass. "I bet you'd love that wouldn't you?" she taunted, "you'd love to stick your big cock in my dirty asshole..."

I was ready to cum.

"Maybe I would..." I said, as I pulled out of her and stepped back onto the bedroom floor.

I stood directly behind her and started jacking my cock as she reached down and started fingering herself. She was still in the doggy position with one hand slapping her pussy and the other holding her asshole wide. She would alternate between diddling herself and then pulling her asshole wide with both hands and telling me fire away and fill her asscrack with my cum. But it was all happening so fast, she was in almost a frenzy. She'd beg me to spray my cum on her asshole, and then she had to let go of her spread cheeks so she could slap her clit again, and then she'd by spreading herself again and telling me to do it, to cum in her ass...

Just like before, when she'd got so flustered she'd mixed 'cock' with 'pussy' she'd now swapped 'on' with 'in'. Did she want me to cum on her asscrack or in it? Did she want me to cum in her ass, or on it? We were both in the zone now and I could tell from her frenetic movements and panting that she was cumming again. And so was I.

I felt my balls exploding and I surged forward. As I leaned forward I intended to fuck her pussy, but a millisecond later as I was about to enter her I changed my mind. Her asshole was wide open and staring at me, twitching and begging me to fuck it. It was screaming at me: "Do it, do it!" so I did. Holding my stiff cock by the root and balls I flicked myself up in those final moments and jammed my cock into her asshole.

Since there was no lube I limited myself to 'just the tip' but I pumped her full of cum. I held my balls and squeezed, using my free hand to press down on her tailbone, to stop myself from thrusting any further. I must have squirted at least five times as I unloaded into her. When I pulled back, still holding my cock and balls, I saw my dick was covered in cum.

"Christ that's a lot of cum on me" I exclaimed, "you're lucky you got just the tip"

"Just the tip?" she laughed, "that feels like a full load you planted in my ass!"

*'She licked her finger, reached back, and then inserted it in her ass' ~ this is actually been a fantasy of mine ie I've said previously (but of course I can't find a link now that I need it) just how hot it would be if she actually reached back and fingered her own ass while I fucked her doggy style. So when she actually did it on Friday night I was again a bit paranoid - has she been reading this blog?

Sunday, February 12, 2017

50 Shades of... LEGS

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Ask PV: The Making of a Slut

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Upon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday.  #4. What and how many contributing factors do you believe have made the most significant impact into you having the sexual drive to pursue s"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

The Making of a Slut

by Pervertically Virtuous
Genes-Environment-ChoicesUpon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. 
#4. What and how many contributing factors do you believe have made the most significant impact into you having the sexual drive to pursue such an intriguing sex life? (If in more detail … how was the road paved, i.e., were you brought up by parents of an open mindset, were you surrounded by friends that shared similar goals/interests?)
This is the million dollar question, really and there are no simple answers. It's a complex interplay among many genetic, environmental, and personal choice factors. And lots of luck.
Here are what I think have been the most critical factors that made me into who I am and allowed me to thrive despite societal disapproval.
  1. High sex drive.
High sex drive is an obvious prerequisite for being a slut. I get horny a lot, I think about sex a lot, I masturbate a lot. When I see someone attractive, my pussy tingles and the first thing on my mind is sex. Not love, not friendship, not personality. Sex.
Science seems to suggest that our basic sex drive level is to a large extent biologically determined (a combination of genetic influences and prenatal development in the womb) most likely linked to testosterone. Although levels vary among members of each sex, men generally have a higher sex drive than women. Somehow, I got the male version. And a fairly extreme version at that.
2. High need for novelty/sensation seeking/curiosity.
Craving novelty is the second basic prerequisite for my kind of life. If I only had high sex drive but low need for novelty, I'd be perfectly happy to have lots of sex with one partner. Instead, I've been driven incessantly by the desire to experience new things, explore new worlds, place myself in risky and exciting new situations. In other words, curiosity. That almost killed the cat. Except that it didn't. And you know what they say: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Like sex drive, need for novelty (sexual and otherwise) is to a large extent biologically determined: It has to do with the dopamine- and opioid-driven reward system in the brain. The optimal level of arousal in the brain differs from person to person: For some people, a little bit of novelty/excitement/uncertainty is already too arousing; for other people's brains, mine included, novelty is what lube is for anal sex: "too much is almost enough".
3. Lack of adult supervision growing up.
My parents divorced when I was 8, and my father, who fought tooth and nail to get custody of me in order to hurt my mom - and succeeded in both, didn't quite know how to be a 'responsible' parent. He was was not particularly sexually liberal (nor particularly conservative), but as an academic, he mostly cared about good grades in school. As long as I brought home a 4.00 GPA (and I did so every semester without fail), I was tacitly allowed to do whatever I wanted. He did eventually make a few attempts to reign me in - once he realized how out of control my behavior was, but by then it was too late. I had tasted freedom and there was no going back.
Estranged from my mom and not really limited by my dad, my biological tendencies (high sex drive and high need for novelty) took over. I started going out to clubs and smoking at 10, lost my virginity at 11, started drinking at 12, had my first threesome and started doing drugs (heroin first) at 13. I always hung out with people older than me, most of the time old enough to go to jail for statutory rape for having sex with me. By the time I was 14, I had two (horrible) tattoos. By 16, I had logged in more hours on the dance floor than most people in the world will during their entire lifetimes. By 17, I had tried all drugs available in my part of the world (though I never got hooked on any). By 19, I'd slept with over 100 men and women. (And yet, during that whole time I was a straight A student.)
4. Lack of law enforcement growing up.
I know what you're thinking, especially you in the US: How the hell could you do all those things legally? Who let a 13 year-old into clubs? How did all those adult men not get locked up for statutory rape?
I was lucky enough to grow up in a country which - at the time - had few laws preventing minors from getting in all sorts of trouble available to adults (e.g., smoking, drinking, partying, tattoos, sex). If such laws existed, their enforcement was all but absent. No one ever got carded anywhere. There was no moral panic about sex with underage teens. If you looked the part and played the part - and I looked and behaved much more mature than my age - no one paid any attention to your actual age. All restrictions on minors' behaviors were left to the discretion of their parents. Well, I obviously didn't have that problem with my parents.
5. Personal choice: I chose/choose to live this way.
My biology set me up for a life of slutty, nonmonogamous sex. My familial and social environment during my formative adolescent years allowed that biology to come to express itself. But it is my own personal choices that have kept me at it over the years: I love my crazy sex-filled life, so I make choices that allow me to live it as best as I can.
I was very young when I was first made aware that highly sexual behavior - mine included - was considered inappropriate. (I believe I got my first "slut" label at 9, before I even lost my virginity.) But it didn't make sense to me - I could never understand why others would care how I lived my life or judge me for not living it the way they did - as long as I didn't hurt them or impinged on their freedom to live their lives how they chose. So I decided to simply ignore the haters. "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about," Oscar Wilde once wrote. I came across this sentence while in middle school - and it was forever etched in my consciousness.
Very early on - and against the advice of many well-intentioned friends, relatives, teachers, and lovers over the years - I decided that in the war between staying true to myself and making sure others like me, myself wins. Authenticity was more important than popularity. Popularity without authenticity was worthless. I was sure that if I was true to myself and loved myself, there would be some people who would love me for who I was.
I made that decision at the tender age of 13 or so, and I've never regretted it since. In fact, I've quite enjoyed playing the role of a sexual nonconformist, rebel, revolutionary. A young lover recently told me that I was like a person from 2070. I *LOVE* that. So I keep making that choice again and again: Where I choose to live, who I choose to associate with, what kind of professional environment I place myself in...
So there you have it: This is (one) recipe for how a slut is made.
However, to make a happy and healthy slut, you need a few more ingredients. But for those, you have to wait til next week.
Have a question for me? Don't hesitate to ask PV!
Pervertically Virtuous | February 13, 2014 at 10:33 am |