There's nothing sadder than not getting laid on Valentine's Day.
I suppose I should clarify: There's nothing sadder than not getting laid on Valentine's Day when you have a significant other. Nothing spells rejection like not getting laid on Valentine's Day when you have a significant other, it's a complete slap in the face. They're saying 'yeah, I know today is meant to be all about romance but I'm not feeling it so no, it aint happening.'
Our day started with an exchange of Valentine's Day cards, which duly expressed our love for each other and recognised our long union, together with a wish for many more years to come. My card featured teddy bears and love hearts, and came with the latest copy of a magazine my wife reads. My wife's card featured a gangly unattractive thin man who was offering his services as a Strippergram. My wife made a note saying that she looked forward to me maybe performing a sexy dance later that night. There was no gift, not even chocolate that she has gotten me in previous years.
My wife then showered, dressed and prepared herself for all day meetings - which meant good bye from her at 10am until she returned at 5pm**, just as I was leaving to collect our dog from Doggy Day Care. At which point I was told that our dinner plans had changed ie there were no dinner plans. Originally my daughter was bringing a friend over for a sleepover and they were going to have pizza delivered while we went out for a romantic dinner for two. But now the friend wasn't coming so... our romantic dinner was now... takeout or
Dinner for two plus one surly teen it was. After collecting the dog I stopped at the restaurant and asked if they could make it for three and they said 'No problem, but you'll need to come at 6.30pm instead otherwise we can't seat all of you'. I could see the restaurant had been rearranged into a sea of tables for two, so I took what was offered. When we were seated we were placed at a table for six near the bathrooms and told we had to be out by 7.30pm for the next family booking.
It was a fun dinner. As I mentioned in yesterday's post, we needed to have a conversation with my daughter about money so we did. It was a short conversation. My wife agreed to bump our daughters allowance from $10 a week to $75 a week, plus give her an additional $75 a month for 'incidentals'. My daughter wanted a credit card (she's 15!!) so
And that was that. Dinner all done and dusted in under sixty minutes!
When we got home my wife was straight back on the computer because she had more meetings today and needed to prepare. Our daughter went straight to her room and was never seen again, while I searched the web for a suitable Parental Control app so we could switch off our daughters
My wife cut me off immediately (cock blocked?) by saying we should watch Netflix, since we had recently started watching Suits and had three more seasons to get through. It wasn't quite Netflix & Chill because she was checking her Facebook on her phone a lot and then later went and got her laptop as well. Multi-tasking I think women call it - and are so proud of themselves for doing so too. We watched three episodes and then my wife got up and said we'd have to watch the rest later because she had meetings early the next morning. And it was now 11.45pm.
She didn't kiss me goodnight, nor did she give me any invitation to join her, she just got up and left.
By the time I'd put the dog out, and then brought the dog back in, and then gone up to bed the lights were out and my wife was asleep.
Another sucky Valentine's Day indeed.
** Pardon my patheticism (is that even a word? spellcheck says "yes") but I did think maybe my wife would come home at lunchtime or later in the afternoon as a Valentine's Day 'surprise'. I figured with all those meetings squeezed into one day (which is abnormal) maybe she'd put a few dummy appointments in our shared diary so that I would think she was busy, when really she was planning to have a romantic lunch with me, or (because I'm a guy) come home for a Valentine's Day quickie.
There was one more Valentine's Day gift from me to my wife, one that I couldn't give her in the morning. At 4pm I emailed her a link to a private Dropbox folder I'd created called 'Valentine's Day'. In it were five erotic novels she could upload to her Kindle, together with the message:
"Happy Valentine's Day!!
I have no idea how good or bad these are but I hope you enjoy them. And if you enjoy them I have some more... if you're a good girl! ;)
I figured she'd like them because they were very similar to the ones she buys herself, and the genres she likes too: Aunt in Bondage, Bondage Whore, The Boss, Under The Boss's Desk, and Strictly Business.
She never mentioned them, even though I know she opened the email and received the 'gift'. I wanted her to know I was accepting of her