Monday, February 27, 2017

Ask PV: How Discreet Are You About Your Sex Life?

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of hers. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it. 

(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "Upon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. Today I'm answering two, since they are both short and kinda related. #5. Is discretion the order of the day with today's society firmly sett"

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

How Discreet Are You About Your Sex Life?

by Pervertically Virtuous
AuthenticityUpon discovering my blog, a new reader had many questions for me. I'm answering them one by one, every Thursday. Today I'm answering two, since they are both short and kinda related.
#5. Is discretion the order of the day with today's society firmly setting the boundaries which you have obviously overstepped?
Not necessarily. I don't need to hide my lifestyle too much. My husband obviously knows about it, my friends know about it, many of my colleagues know about it. So I also don't go to great lengths to hide anything from anyone.
That being said, I don't flaunt my sexuality everywhere I go. I don't talk about it all the time with everyone. Even with my friends. Even I get tired of talking about sex all the time. In fact, I'll often try to stay away from the topic but I get dragged into it by others wanting to talk about it. I don't bring it up right away with people I've just met (unless I'm meeting them in a specifically sex-positive environment or trying to fuck them) or with colleagues. I try not to fuck (m)any colleagues.
The Redhead Bedhead recently had a post where she talked about "that girl" at parties:
"You all know "that girl" especially if you remember that time period. She would talk loudly and provocatively about sex for no reason other than attention. She would make out with her female friends because "guys think it's hot" She say things like "Oh no! I lost my pen! I must have left it behind at my last lesbian orgy!" My personal favorite "that girl" story from my early twenties involves a night out with some friends that was pretty much defined by a girl who sat at the middle of the bar and proceeded to hold court (loudly) on her great love of anal sex."
I am typically not "that girl". (I'm not saying it has never happened, but the vast majority of the time, I am much more reserved.)
I also try to be as discreet as possible with information regarding other people, so as to preserve their discretion.
#6. Do you have close friends that you would consider to live a more standard life (i.e., marriage, no wild sex parties, kids, only one sexual partner), that you still can trust enough to feel comfortable to divulge anything you may have on your mind, without any fear whatsoever?
Absolutely! I have friends who live crazy lives like mine. I also have friends who live very traditional lives. One of my best friends is a guy who is almost incapable of having casual sex - he typically doesn't get to the sex part until 5th or 6th date. Another close friend is still a virgin at the age of 25. Both of their dreams consist of a monogamous marriage, kids, a couple of dogs/cats, and a white picket fence. And I have many other friends who are somewhere in between.
What all my friends have in common is not a penchant for a crazy sexual lifestyle, it's an understanding and no judgement for other people's sexual choices, however crazy or not crazy they may be. Friends are not like family or coworkers, who you often get stuck with. Friends are people you choose. And I would never choose to be friends with people I wouldn't feel comfortable being who I am. I refuse to live in fear and hiding unless I absolutely have to.
As that quote in the photo above says - I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. This has been my motto ever since I was a teenager. And I truly hope it is yours too.
Have a question for me? Ask me anything!
Pervertically Virtuous | February 27, 2014 at 9:55 am | 

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