Sunday, February 19, 2017

This video made me sad...

I know the Bible says "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife" (it's one of the Ten Commandments) but I covet Chrissy Teigen. And it's okay because my wife covets Chrissy Teigen too. She's never admitted it but I'm pretty damn sure my wife would answer "Chrissy Teigen" if ever asked 'Who would you turn Gay for?'  I'm not kidding, we watch Lip Sync Battle from time to time and my wife is all eyes on Chrissy Teigen. She just loves her. Seriously.

I'm pretty sure somewhere in my wife's mind Chrissy Teigen represents the perfect ideal of what my wife could have been if her life had been different.  If she was living in a parallel universe my wife would be Chrissy Teigen. But she wouldn't be married to John Legend, she'd be single and vamping it up with ALL the guys. She'd have her pick of handsome, urbane, wealthy, worldly, and powerful men.  Just like in one of her dirty books.

But I digress.

The reason the video made me sad was because Chrissy Teigen seems sooo sexy, fun loving, and devoted to her man. You just know she and John Legend are madly in love and having lots and lots of awesome sex. That's why I covet Chrissy Teigen - she loves her man and holds nothing back. My wife on the other hand (you knew this was coming didn't you?) loves me but has no passion for me. She does not want to jump my bones, and fudges when I try to jump hers.

She'd be the first to say "If you looked like John Legend I'd jump on you too" but I don't think it's really that. If you love someone, truly love them, then you take them as they are. You don't get put off by a few extra pounds - in fact if you truly love someone you don't even see those extra pounds. Love is blind after all, amiright?

Chrissy Teigen as she appears in the video above.
Yeah, you're gonna scroll back and watch it now aren't you? :)

We still haven't had sex since Two Nights of Mindfuckery happened, despite my efforts to entice her. And I don't just mean giving her Kindleporn on Valentines Day (see Another sucky Valentine's Day to see how that turned out) I really did try to make some romantic gestures across the week - which were all rebuffed. She spent Wednesday in another city so I sent some flirty texts about being her private Uber driver (she'd mentioned on Monday how the Uber driver had flirted with her and was asking questions that made it clear he was interested if she was interested) and picked her up at 10pm from the Airport.

She chuckled at my texts but by the time I collected her (flight delays) she was in no mood for anything. And that mood continued all week. I'm not even going to get into it now because it's the same ol' same ol' - we had a lovely time on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday but ... nothing. When we get to the bedroom it's lights out and then... "it's really late". (That was the comment she made when I placed my hand on her hip. She rolled over and away...)

So it's Sunday 2.24am and I'm alone again. Feeling sorry for myself. Nothing new there either so I'll stop now. Thank you for listening.

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