Friday, February 3, 2017

What's going on with my Wife and This Guy? (The Tijuana Story)

Those xoxoxoxo's aren't very businesslike are they?
They hint at something more personal don't they?
As do her X's in reply...
This is not an actual screenshot, but a recreation of one I took of my wife's Facebook private messages. I can't get into my wife's phone so I have no idea what's going on there, but looking at her Messenger account I'm not happy.

The guy messaging her (his words in gray, hers in blue) is someone she met at a BNG conference two years ago. He's about half her age and like most of the BNG membership he's a 'high worth' entrepreneur/business owner. The definition of 'high worth' seems very loose since I've met a few BNG guys who seem more 'wannabee' than 'titan of industry'. You know the type: everything is leased (car, house, Rolex) and he talks a big game about how well things are going, and what he's about to achieve if he can just nail down the financing, but it's all a House of Cards that could collapse at any minute.

My wife has actual money after selling her business for millions so now she's always being 'pitched' by people wanting her to invest in their business/start-up/next great idea. 'Hustled' might be a better word than 'pitched'. But I digress, let's get back to This Guy...

I've never properly told the story of what happened in LA, although I alluded to it last August in The night my wife went off at me. It's a long rambling post (I'm realising now just how long my posts are!) but the bit relevant to today's post is this:

Also at our table was another woman from BNG, who was my wife's BNG BFF since their infamous trip to Mexico together on a BNG conference 18 months ago (which I was not present at). The conference was actually in LA but my wife and her friend had been lured into a limo and taken on a surprise visit to Tijuana at 11pm by some of the guys from BNG. Because when you're a dynamic individual, and a member of BNG, you have to be spontaneous and do crazy things because you can and you're fearless. 
The women ended up in a Tijuana strip club run by bikers, and they left the BNG boys there at 3am and tried to recross the border. Anyway, my point is that this woman is not a good influence on my wife and... [more].

Well of course the key instigator of this Tijuana side trip was This Guy, who hired the limo and corralled the rest of them to jump in and go. When my wife got back from LA she never mentioned This Guy, but over successive months she drip fed some info about him: he lives in [redacted] but has now moved to [European city] to launch a start up. He's a really funny guy and the life of the party. There was something about the way she talked about him that seemed off to me, but I told myself I was being silly because he was short and my wife don't like short guys in that way.

Then I got to meet him in New York a year+ ago, at another BNG conference. My wife took me to that one, which was good for me, and not so good for him. Like us he was staying a few extra days in NYC and he invited my wife to lunch at some swanky roof top restaurant when the conference was over. It was very exclusive but he managed to get a booking because he's "The Man!" I saw the Messenger trail on that too, and when she accepted she never mentioned me. It was only on the morning of the lunch that she told him I was coming too and his response was one of surprise, followed by "sure, I'll try and book an extra seat". He knew I was at the conference (as a 'partner', not a BNG member) but clearly did not anticipate me joining him for their lunch.

The thing is, as soon as I learnt more about the guy and their wild night in Tijuana way back when, I did think something had happened between him and my wife on that conference. According to my wife they had become instant friends and he was a 'great guy' who I'd really like. But I had a strange vibe about him and when I finally met him in NYC and saw him interact with my wife I noticed an intimacy between them that seemed unusual. It was a strong bond for two people who were 'just' members of the same Business Networking Group. But he was short, and my wife is not attracted sexually to short men.

But he was also funny, and was the life of the party - two qualities my wife does find attractive. 

Who am I kidding?
This is probably what my wife and This Guy got up to in Tijuana. 
As sexpot Jessica Rabbit said when asked why she loved Roger Rabbit: "he makes me laugh". It certainly worked for me in my college years so why wouldn't it work for him? I've seen how tipsy my wife gets at these BNG evening functions (and more so at the after parties) so it was entirely possible that this time (in LA), when I wasn't there, she could have fallen for his charms. He might have been short, and half(ish) her age, but woman doesn't love an adorable puppy? And that's how she described him in some Messenger emails I saw. 

I rationalised it by telling myself they probably 'only' had a drunken kiss in that limo and he tried to get her to his room but she stopped herself, but is secretly flattered by his attentions - which is why she does nothing to quell them. I wondered if she took me to New York precisely because she was worried what might happen. Had she led him on during the intervening year with her 'banter' and was she now worried? Did she bring me to be the fly in his ointment?

So anyway, this year my wife is now Vice President of her cities BNG Chapter and accordingly she gets to fly to various meetings of the Global Executive. In January it was in Japan (see that story) and in April it will be a European city one hour from where This Guy lives. Hence his hope to see her in both that European city and also where he lives. That's the redacted text in the photo above. He's trying to organise a BNG side trip to his town, and is promising an Important Speaker to make it all worthwhile. 

I'm not stupid, he's trying to organise an event in his town as cover to get her there (even though he's also going to the same official BNG event my wife is). It was only meant to be a 4 day long weekend trip for my wife but he's trying to extend it. She's already laid the groundwork by telling me last December that I wasn't going to be travelling with her on all these trips she had planned in 2017, even though I used to in the past. 

If you're thinking "You're just being paranoid Nero" there's more I could tell you but this post is already waaay too long. Yes, there is no damning evidence in their Facebook Messages but a lot of those messages are him saying "We should Skype" or "when can we Skype?". And since I can't get into her phone I have no idea how to tell if, when, or for how long they've been Skyping. The one and only thing I 'caught' was two days ago when she was Facetiming him on the phone in her car and I jumped in as she was leaving the house because I wanted a ride to the convenience store. She had him on handsfree and couldn't cut the call because I'd just hopped in and it would have been too obvious, and yet she was clearly trying to wind up the call.

So... do you think there's something going on between them or am I just being crazy? Oprah Winfrey always said: if you think something funny is going on but you can't quite put your finger on it - then something is probably going on.

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