Friday, March 31, 2017

Fetish Friday: Legs or Butt?

via Instagram

I'm more of an 'butt' man than a 'leg' man but this pic covers both. As does the #latex #rubber !!
(and let's play Spot the Cat-flap!)

#fetishfriday #legs #ass #butt #somethingfortheweekend #babesofinstagram #babe #toomanyhashtags

Thursday, March 30, 2017

The drought is broken!

You will be pleased to know I finally had sex with my wife last night - 3 weeks since we last had sex and 5 days since she may have (or may not have) got a brazilian. It was the latter that upset/frustrated me so much. Why get a wax and then piss about for 5 days before sharing it with your husband? Why tease me with it along the way? (see this and this for those stories)

Peek-a-boo! So, did my wife actually get a brazilian or have I been twisting myself into knots over nothing?
All was revealed to me last night, and you can find out whether she did or didn't below...

Anyway, last night I decided to dispense with my recent policy of 'don't initiate anymore' and I made my move. I actually went to bed before she did so I was waiting for her when she came up. And guess what? She didn't come up until 12.45am! This is so rare for her - I wondered if she was trying to wait me out, hoping I'd fall asleep? She claimed later that she just had a lot of work to get out of the way. And a lot of Facebooking, according to her browser history - but let's not quibble since I got laid. Yay!

So she creeps in to the bedroom, thinking I'm asleep, and then I say "you're up late" and she says "oh, you're awake" and I say "I was waiting for you" and she says "Oh, what for?" and I say "no reason" as I sit up and push the covers down to my hips (but not pulling my dick out because that would be juvenile). My wife gets into bed, gives me a kiss, and then lies down and goes to sleep.

I reach out and place my hand on her shoulder and she puts her hand on mine, but makes no attempt to move (she's on her side, facing away from me). Eventually her hand drops, so I remove mine, and then I can hear her shallow breathing as she drifts off to sleep. So far so good bad - this is not going to plan. I sit there for many minutes before deciding to dispense with the plan and just get off myself.

I push the covers lower and fish my cock out. I start quietly jerking off - slowly so I don't shake the bed (but all bets will be off when I get towards the finish line, of course). Only a few days earlier I had read a post on FetLife titled 'Do you like to watch men masturbate?' and the prevailing response from women was 'No'. Which was bemusing because most men love watching women masturbate. The caveat from half the woman was that they didn't have a problem with watching their partner masturbate (as foreplay to the main event), but they weren't interested in watching random men masturbate.

I think my wife is one of those women because she suddenly turned around, leaned over, and asked "Oooh, what are you doing?" - knowing full well what I was doing. Even in the darkness I could see she had a big grin on her face and a horney gleam in her eye. This is not the first time she's responded to me in this way, and I knew she was horney. She confirmed it by lying on her back, grabbing my free hand, and pulling it to her pussy.

Her smooth bare pussy!

Bingo! Houston, we have confirmation - it's a brazilian!!

Sure, there was a little regrowth starting (because it had been five fucking days since she'd done it!) but she was bald down there, no doubt about it. I made a show of scrabbling my fingers around 'to check' as I played dumb and said "did you shave?".

"No, I had it waxed" she answered, as she grabbed my hand and pressed it deeper into her cleft.

So there I was, fingering my wife and jerking my cock until finally I thought 'fuck this' and dived between her legs. I went down on her and it escalated quickly. It became a bit frenzied - clearly my wife had her needs too and had also been hankering for some sexual attention. [Side note to the ladies: if you want some just try asking for some and you might just get some - stop pussy footing around!] 

I used this pic for anyone who scrolled ahead after reading the caption for the first pic.
Those of you who read down this far will have spotted the error.

I'll spare you the erotic details (if you've read my previous accounts you know the drill: tongue, wet pussy, her body writhing, her grabbing my head, pulling me deeper, wet slit, drinking her juices, mmmmmm, all good!) but suffice to say she came hard and was smiling broadly when I was finished. And flopping back on the mattress groaning "oh, god!" (It was more like 'Oh, gooooodddd!' - but people always read that as 'Oh, Good')

I climbed back up beside her and allowed her to catch her breath. I jacked my cock as she did so but stopped when she leaned over and pulled the lube out of her night stand. "Why did you stop?" she asked (I told you she liked watching me jack off), looking at me as she ran the liquid up and down and inside her already wet slit. "Because we haven't had sex for 3 weeks and if I go any further I'm liable to explode right now!" She laughed and got up, and then sat back down on me - in the reverse cow girl position. (Had she been reading my answers to this weeks TMI Tuesday?)

My wife loves this position too, and soon she was riding me like a horse, at a steady canter. She had her hands between her legs, diddling both her clit and my balls, when suddenly she started fingering my asshole. (Okay, maybe she hadn't been readings my answers in this weeks TMI Tuesday then) Actually it felt okay, I don't mind a little tickle, it's the full insertion I find painful, but I wanted her to cum so I could get mine. I very rarely cum in the Cowgirl position (reverse or standard) so I was already anticipating mounting her doggy style.

I do like looking at her ass though, and as she bent over in that final race for the finish line (just imagine what the jockey does in any horse race you've ever witnessed - minus the horse whipping) (I'm the horse) her asshole was fully exposed. And it was open for business. I wet my thumb and stuck it in, and started slapping her butt with my other hand. She moaned "oh fuck, yes yes yes" and rode me harder and faster. It got so wild I had to pull out my thumb so I could grip her hips and pound her harder. My cock was thrusting up, as she was bouncing down - hard - fingering her clit and my balls again.

She came again, hissing and groaning as she rolled off me before slumping down beside me. Once again I gave her a little time to recuperate, but not enough that she would fall asleep.

She kneeled on the edge of the bed, so I could drill her standing up...
"My turn" I said, as I stacked a few pillows on the bed as a prompt for her to get into the doggy position. My cock was like concrete so I planned to pound her good.  My wife moved the pillows a few inches and then swung her body around so that her knees were at the edge of the bed and her ass pointed out. Okay, I had thought I'd be on my knees, on the bed, but clearly she had a different idea - so I went with it. I stood on the floor, grabbed her hips and lined my cock up with her cunt.

They didn't line up, not perfectly.

Luckily our bed has a kind of plinth so I stepped up onto it, grabbed her hips, positioned my feet outside her legs and pointed my dick down at her hole. And in I went, slowly. She was so wet and so tight I groaned. "Oh, yeahhh" she moaned back, "that's good".

"So good" I replied, "you feel so tight".

Instead of pounding her I slowly eased my cock in and out of her. All my weight was being carried in my legs, so all she could feel was my stiff prick slicing through her wet cunt (and my hands on her hips, holding her steady). She loved it: "That feels really good, keep fucking me like that"

So I did, but lust being what it is it wasn't long before the tempo picked up - as did the dirty talk. I started fucking her hard and fast, at her urging, and I told her to play with her clit because I was going to cum soon. She started fingering and slapping her pussy, faster and faster, a sure sign she was going to cum too. I asked her if she wanted me to cum inside her or outside... all over her smooth hairless pussy?

"Inside" she grunted "cum inside me, I want to feel it, fuck my pussy, cum in my hole..."

That was it, I was done, I gripped her hips, told her I was cumming, and sprayed her insides with my seed.

You wouldn't believe how good it felt - all the stress drained away as I came - I felt great.

I'll tell you more about that stuff (the talky bit afterwards) on Saturday....


Update ~ This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday

click here for more about 'Masturbation Monday' (much more!)

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

"I might have a surprise for you later" ~ Part 3

Now it's my turn to be like Lucy (always telling Charlie Brown to kick the football, promising she won't move it, and then pulling it away just as he tries to kick it). I know I promised you in Part 2 that I would give you Part 3 today but the truth is nothing happened at lunch time on Monday. Okay, a lot happened actually - but there was no sex. Yes, my wife did come home for 'lunch', and a leather skirt was slowly unzipped in our home office... but... once again my wife failed to follow through on her teasing.

This is what I've been waiting for! Lusting for!! Is it too much to ask?!

It went down like this (and FYI: I'm typing this on Monday night):

My wife had meetings all day, starting at 8.30am. She did have what seemed to be two hours free at lunchtime but that means nothing. My wife doesn't always put everything in our shared calendar so I can often be disappointed when she doesn't turn up because she had something else on that she'd omitted to tell me. Like lunch with a friend or shopping or a mid afternoon cocktail. I say 'disappointed' because for a while there I was trying to shake up our staid marriage by doing something out of left field - like planning a lunch, or a walk (with the dog) in the park, or ... a nooner (hey, I'm still a man - sue me!).

But none of these plans ever happen so now I don't bother. She marches to the beat of her own drum so now I just wait and see if maybe she's going to come and bang the drum with me.

She never does.

Which was why I was surprised when she came home at 11.45 today. Was it possible that I was going to finally learn the secret of "I might have a surprise for you later" - a tease that had been dangled since Friday afternoon? She certainly seemed dressed for the part - a sheer white blouse that showed her black bra underneath, and a new black leather skirt below. 

As she walked into our home office from the garage I expressed my pleasant surprise to see her.

"I wasn't expecting to see you - are you home for lunch?" I said, smiling.

"No, I've just finished a late brunch actually, I've just eaten" she replied, walking over and bending down to give me a kiss on the cheek.

I put my hands on her hips and ran them down her outer thighs, feeling the soft leather.

"Is this new?" I asked, "it's leather, right?"

"Yes, I got it in London last year but I haven't had a chance to wear it before"

I wondered what sort of meetings she'd had that morning that necessitated such a sexy outfit but then the penny dropped. According to her calendar she was meeting her BNG sub group at 2.30pm for their monthly session of personal/business growth/mentorship. Basically the BNG (Business Networking Group) have smaller sub groups of eight people, and these meet monthly to discuss what they've done in the past month both personally and in business - what successes they've had and what failures - and between them they figure out how to improve themselves.

My wife's subgroup are all men. And mostly all Alpha Males. Hence the leather skirt and sheer blouse?

I decided to reverse my earlier position which, as I mentioned in last week's TMI Tuesday, is: 
We are back to me refusing to initiate sex, since it is clear my wife is not interested and I am sick of degrading myself by 'forcing' myself upon her.
I had given my wife enough time since her tease on Friday afternoon to actually follow through and she hadn't. It was also now 3 weeks since we'd last had sex, which is about my limit. Why continue to wait for her to initiate since clearly she wasn't going to? Against my own advice (she's gonna pull the football away again!) I decided to make a move.  I spun her around and pulled her into my lap, in my office chair.

She could feel my erection, there was no denying it. 

I ran my hands down her hips and forward over her thighs. "This leather feels nice" I said, "it's so soft." I kept my hands moving, running them back up her thighs, past her hips, and up to her breasts. I gave them a gentle squeeze, noticing immediately that her nipples were not hard, so I moved my hands around to her back - running them up her spine and then to her shoulders - which I massaged. 

"Mmmm" she said, leaning forward and down a little so I could run my hands all over her back and shoulders, "that feels nice." She gripped the armrests of my office chair and wiggled her butt on my dick ever so slightly. "Mmmmm" she said again. I unzipped the back of her skirt and ran my fingers all the way down her spine, and then back up again. As I continued the gentle massage I asked "what time is your next meeting?" even though I already knew it was at 2.30pm. It was 12pm now.

"2.30" she said, getting up. "Let me check my emails and then maybe we can go upstairs...?"

Her voice trailed away at the second part. My inner voice said "it aint gonna happen" but my other inner voice said "Stay positive! remain upbeat!"

So my wife checked her emails. My wife replied to some emails. My wife sent some new emails. My wife checked to see if anyone had replied to those new emails. My wife printed something for her 2.30pm meeting with her BNG buddies. The printer was out of ink, so my wife cursed the printer, replaced the ink cartridge, and resumed printing. Then... she was all done!

It was now 12.45pm. One hour since she'd come home, and one hour left to 'go upstairs' if she was going to make it to her 2.30pm meeting.

Her phone rang. She answered it. She talked to the woman for what seemed like 20 minutes, laughing a lot about who knows what. When my wife finished the call she shared with me what they had been laughing about. I honestly can't recall now what that was. My wife then switched the conversation to the differences between her new best friend and her old best friend. She was still friends with her old best friend, there would always be that bond, but her new friend was so much more supportive and wasn't in a competition with her. Her old best friend was. 

I made supportive noises to show I was listening but my internal clock was ticking. I was running through my head how long it would take before we 'went upstairs'. And then how long we could have sex for. I wanted to make it good, and I wanted to take a long time eating out that smooth bare pussy, but my wife was talking so much I suspected it may end up just being a quickie, which would be a shame.

It was a shame because I knew that just as I was calculating how long we could romp in the bed for, my wife was calculating how much time she would need to get dressed again, re-apply her make-up, and make herself look presentable for the 2.30pm meeting. I estimated 20 minutes, with another 20 minutes for her to drive to her 2.30pm meeting. This wasn't leaving much time. I decided to stop the conversation by making sure my replies didn't keep opening it up further. It stalled, then stopped.

This is how I sometimes imagine her with her Alpha Male BNG buddies! Ha!
(and I suspect this is how she imagines it too sometimes!!)
I could almost see the lightbulb go off above her head: "Better check my portfolio" she mumbled to herself, but loud enough for me to hear. So she logged into her stockbrokers account and checked her investments. Two stocks had dropped significantly, she informed me. "I better send a 'please explain' email to my investment advisor" she said, so she did.

It was now 1.45pm. Two hours since she'd come home, and no time left to 'go upstairs' if she was going to make it to her 2.30pm meeting. Not unless it was a super quick quickie. 

"Do you mind dropping me at my meeting?" she asked, "then I don't have to worry about having to find a park"

"Sure" I replied, as I calculated how much extra time that would give us for a quickie before we left. Obviously a fuck was probably out of the question, but maybe a quick handjob and oral would be possible. Not oral for her of course, because that would mean she'd need time to get dressed again, but I could get mine and she could have hers later that night. Because I was serious about eating her out and I really love to take my time when I'm devouring that juicy peach.

"Good" she said, "I'll just go upstairs and find a jacket because after my meeting I'm going out to dinner. One of the BNG guys from [out of state] is visiting so we're all going to a restaurant later"

And there went my quickie. As every married man knows 'finding a jacket' is not the same as 'grabbing a jacket'. A guy will take 2 seconds to 'grab a jacket'. He simply scans his wardrobe, thinks 'that will do', and then grabs the jacket hanging in front of him. A woman will spend 20 minutes 'finding a jacket'. She scans her wardrobe, picks out 3 or 4, tries them all on, checks herself in the mirror from every angle, and then finally chooses one. And then takes it off and decides on #5 - a different one entirely. 

And so here I sit. Typing as I eat my dinner alone. Ever the eternal optimist I can't help but wonder if we will finally 'go upstairs' when she comes home from the restaurant? Will I then discover her 'surprise'? Stay tuned! If you enjoy gambling feel free to give the odds of us actually doing anything tonight (Monday) in the comments section below!! If we do I will publish that story on Thursday (tommorrow, as you read this).

Read Part 1 [Here]
Read Part 2 [Here]
If something happens tonight (don't hold your breath) I will tell that story here in Part 4 [Here].

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

TMI Tuesday: March 28, 2017 ~ Sexy it is!

One of those arty nude pics you find on Tumblr

1. What question about sex do you find hard to ask your partner?
~ "You don't really want to have sex with me, do you?"
As you may have picked up from my recent posts, my wife seems to be taking every opportunity to avoid having sex with me. She's made several hints in the past few days that we might have sex (see here and here) but she's never actually followed through. As I mentioned in this post she meets with her BNG sub group monthly and part of that meeting involves an open discussion on self improvement. I hacked her emails and saw what she had written to bring to the meeting: one of the things she knew she had to address was "my husband and I seem to have gotten out of our groove and I need devote more time to him to get our groove back". Based on How Stella Got Her Groove Back I presume she's acknowledging our woeful sexlife. 
See also my answers to Q4 below. I can't seem to ask for those either (although once I did tell her I wanted to tie her up - she responded by asking why couldn't she tie me up? I said I was happy to try that if she wanted to, but she didn't really. She was just asserting herself as unwilling to be 'submissive' to me).

2. What question about sex do you find hard to ask anyone?
~ "Can we do Anal?"
Some women like it, some women don't mind it, some women hate it, and for some women it's an absolute deal breaker. To request it signifies that you are a deviant pervert of the worst order. 
(Full disclosure: I don't actually enjoy anything in my butt either - or has my wife just been doing it wrong?)

3. Sexually, what are your favorite things to do?
~ As is probably clear from this blog, I absolutely love love LOVE cunnilingus. I love going down on my wife and will gladly eat her out any time she likes - even if it means throat cancer one day for me! When we fuck I prefer doggy style (I really love pounding in deep and hard) but I also enjoy it when she rides me in the reverse cow girl position (I love watching her ass bounce up and down, and seeing her asshole pucker open when she's excited). On the rare occasions we have had anal sex I've enjoyed it and I'd really like to explore it properly (see the 'anal' and 'Anal Sex' tags below for those experiences).

Kind of like this but the other way around
4. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them?
~ Anal sex (the forbidden fruit, we've only 'got it right, perfectly' once)
~ Light bondage (tying her up, making her submit to me)
~ Forced orgasms (tying her up so she can't stop me as I keep eating her out; tying her up face down on the bed with a vibrator on her clit while I fuck her ass or pussy for as long as I want to)
~ Submission (this is a fantasy I've never [and can't] asked for: I want to sit at my desk in our office and watch porn on my computer while she sits under the desk and blows me. When I'm ready to cum I will jerk off and blast it all over her face, or in her mouth if she's squeamish)

5. In how many countries have you had sexual relations?
~ Too many to count, honestly. But that is a result of us travelling together over three decades. You've actually touched upon an idea for a post I've been mulling over - the life cycle of our sexual intimacy. I alluded to it here - my wife used to put off sex until we were on vacation. She'd refuse me for two weeks saying she was busy, tired, etc but promising we'd get plenty once we arrived at the hotel because then she could relax and enjoy lots of vacation sex. But now even vacation sex seems to have fallen by the wayside. Hence the question I proffered in Q1.

Bonus: Describe your ideal sex partner.
~ Someone who is sexually liberated ie knows what she wants, openly communicates what she wants, and knows how to get it. Someone who is willing to experiment, and willing to share herself sexually with me ie do things for my pleasure, not just hers - as I would do for her. I'm envious of many of the women blogging the TMI Tuesday meme since they seem to have many of the attributes of what I would consider an ideal sexual partner. Lately I've been binge reading A slave to Master by Ancilla_Kssst and getting quite jealous of their relationship. Whilst I don't want a slave or any of the extreme sex (no judgement!) they enjoy, I do love seeing how the two of them interact sexually so happily. I also have a TMI crush on Arj, Atiya, Heelsnstocking, and Jack & Jill.  (And a few other TMI'ers but I'll shut up now!!)

Double Bonus: you missed yesterday's post "I might have a surprise for you later" and you also missed Friday's post The Friday Night Surprise (No Surprise!)


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, March 27, 2017

"I might have a surprise for you later" ~ Part 2

In last Saturday's post "I might have a surprise for you later" I mentioned how my wife had teased me on Friday afternoon by saying "I might have a surprise for you later". I surmised (hoped? projected?) she might have got a brazilian wax that afternoon, since she had just come back from a local spa. I looked forward to finding out later that night, although I knew in my heart that there would be no surprise.

So what was 'her surprise' going to be? That she'd got a Brazilian?
That she'd got a Brazilian AND pierced her pussy?
My wife has a habit of hinting we might have sex, or some form of sexual intimacy, but it never eventuates. She might mean it when she says it but then later, when it's time to turn talk into action, she gets cold feet and can't follow through. On a bad day I wonder if she's like Lucy: always telling Charlie Brown to kick the football, promising she won't move it, and then pulling it away just as he tries to kick it.

It's like how she brought lube and her favorite vibe on vacation with us to Mexico but then we didn't use either, because we only had sex (kind of) twice. (I still haven't told that story, I really must get to it - it wasn't good).  It's like how she brought lube and her favorite vibe when she we whisked me away for a surprise weekend at a Bed & Breakfast to celebrate my birthday... and then we ended up not having any sex of any sort the entire weekend. This pattern has been repeated a lot in the past five years - possibly the last ten years if I was to think hard about it.

It's like all the times she's got a brazilian and then waited 3 or 4 days before 'sharing' that with me, by which time the regrowth has started and the joy (mine) of experiencing a smooth, bare, bald pussy is thwarted.

As you can imagine it is very damaging to the male my ego.

Anyway, on with the story: even though we came home early-ish on Friday night (10.30pm) and had the house to ourselves (daughter on a sleep over) my wife was in no rush to show/give me the surprise she'd promised (details here).  Ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Saturday morning but... no. My wife stayed in bed until mid-day, and then emerged fully dressed and headed out to... get her nails done.

Which confirmed that her Friday afternoon 'treatment' must have been a pussy wax. I mean, what else could it have been?

So ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Saturday night. We were going out to a show with her BNG buddies so I figured she should be in good spirits when we got home and maybe... but it was the same as Friday night.  This time we got home just before midnight and my wife pretty much went straight to bed. This time I went to bed with her but she was not in a playful mood and pretty much went straight to sleep.

Ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Sunday morning but... no. My wife stayed in bed until mid-day, and then emerged to make 'brunch' for my daughter and the four friends she had invited over for a slumber party in our movie room. I walked the dog. Even as one half of my brain wondered if maybe I'd finally get to see the 'surprise' on Sunday night (we sometimes have sex on Sunday night, when she knows she really really must tick that off her To Do list) the other half of my brain was laughing and asking how much of a schmuck I was.

Nothing happened on Sunday night.

But Monday...

Monday was different. I'll tell you that story on Wednesday, after TMI Tuesday. (Since I've only just had time to quickly tack on this 'Monday' paragraph to the post I had drafted and scheduled this morning). It involves my wife coming home for 'lunch', and a leather skirt slowly unzipped in our home office...

Read Part 3 on Wednesday! [Here]

Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Orgasm Gap

So I discovered this clip on YouTube and it coincided with my low self esteem vis vis my wife's orgasms. Basically, like most men, I've been wondering "is she faking it?"

The reason I wondered was because I can't fathom why we would not have sex for two weeks when the last time we had sex was so good. She seemed to enjoy it, she seemed to cum, she seemed to cum more than once, so... why weren't we doing it more often? If it feels good why would you deny yourself? Or is that just my male logic at play?

A recent study has revealed ‘orgasm gaps’ between both the sexes and those with different sexual orientations. US researchers analysed data collected through an online survey, hosted on the NBC News website, based on responses from more than 52,000 participants aged between 18 and 65 who were in a relationship with one person.

“We had the rare opportunity to look at responses from over 50,000 people, including over 2,000 gay, lesbian, and bisexual men and women,” said David Frederick, lead author of the research from Chapman University.

While 95% of heterosexual men reported that they usually or always orgasmed during sexually intimate moments, just 65% of heterosexual women did. By contrast, the figure was 89% for gay men, 86% for lesbian women, 88% for bisexual men and 66% for bisexual women.

The large disparities seen for women of different sexualities, the authors say, could at least in part be down to [lesbian] women being more likely to take turns at inducing orgasms, and having a better understanding than men that female orgasms are not primarily associated with vaginal sex.

“About 30% of men actually think that intercourse is the best way for women to have orgasm, and that is sort of a tragic figure because it couldn’t be more incorrect,” said co-author of the research Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of biology at Indiana University and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm.

According to the research, only 35% of heterosexual women always or usually orgasm during vaginal sex alone, with 44% saying they rarely or never did. By contrast, 80% of heterosexual women and 91% of lesbians always or usually orgasm with a combination of genital stimulation, deep kissing and oral sex – but without vaginal sex. “To say that there needs to be some education I think is an understatement,” said Lloyd.


Saturday, March 25, 2017

"I might have a surprise for you later" ~ Part 1

So my wife was out pretty much all day on Friday at various meetings and came home at 5pm exhausted. After our Mexico sojourn she has decided to have a 'dry month' so she's not drinking alcohol, which makes all these meetings quite grueling. She had a 'friday afternoon drinks' scheduled from 4pm til 7pm but skipped because she also had a spa appointment at 3.45pm.

Then she grumbled about how she really should be at this drinks thing since she was on the Board of the company hosting them.

But instead she sat at her computer, checking her Facebook, and grumbled and sighed some more.

Call me shallow, but I was hoping this was my surprise!

Finally I said if she really felt she should be at this social function (even if she wasn't drinking) then she should go. She agreed, but then said she was also waiting to hear back from some old friend who had arrived back in town and she had promised to catch up. I said 'why not tell her to meet you at this function (in a bar) and you could have dinner afterwards?'.

She agreed this was probably a good solution, and the deal was sealed when I offered to drive her into the city. So my wife stood up (she didn't need to change) and gave me a hug and said "let's go!"  Then she paused, squeezed my butt, and said "you're looking good" which was interesting because my accountant (a 60 year old woman) had said exactly the same thing to me that afternoon.

I guess I looked good.

"I might have a surprise for you later" she (my wife) said, with a wink.

"Ooh, what is it?" I replied, "can I have it now?"

"No" she replied, "otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise"

So I dropped her into the city at 6pm and at 8pm I got a text from my wife, inviting me to come in and join her and her friend who were about to have dinner. I said I'd just eaten dinner, but I'd come in later for dessert. Fifteen minutes later she texted "where are you?" so I replied "coming now" and added an aubergine emoji ie a dick emoji. The wit was lost on her completely.

So I joined them, had a drink, had dessert, said goodbye to the friend, and then we were home by 10.30pm. I was looking forward to my surprise, which I had deduced was her shaved pussy, which is what I figured that late Friday afternoon spa 'treatment' had been for. What else could it be? It didn't look like she had had her nails done.

I parked the car in our garage and my wife immediately went to her computer in our home office and started checking her emails and Facebook. We discussed a travel quote for our next vacation in September, and I suggested we take the cheaper flight even though it meant more layovers. My wife wanted to request a new quote but I said she could do that later since the travel broker wouldn't look at it until Monday anyway. My wife said if she sent something now they might look at it on Saturday morning so off she went.

I went upstairs and turned on the TV, and attempted to entice my wife upstairs with the promise of her favorite show. She said she would be there in a minute but she wasn't. Which didn't surprise me. I knew she had spent 2 minutes sending an email to her travel broker, and then another 58 minutes checking her Facebook to see what she was missing.

So it was now 11.30pm and I was keen to discover what my 'surprise' was, and licking my lips in eager anticipation of a smooth bare pussy sitting on my face. I could almost taste her juices already, because I knew I was going to make her cum hard - mmmmm!

Unfortunately my wife now wanted to watch her favorite show, since I had suggested it, and I guess in her mind it had only been a few minutes, not a whole hour, since she said she was coming upstairs to watch it. So we watched it. At midnight her iPad in the kitchen started pinging, which meant someone was sending her messages.  So she sat on the couch beside me, bending her body away from me and tried to surreptitiously read and reply to whoever was texting her via the iPhone in her hand (on silent).

Given the hour I knew it could only be This Guy, texting from Europe, and I was right. During the next ad break I boldly went to the kitchen (but pretended to go to the bathroom), opened up her iPad, and read their messages. Thank you Apple IOS, for linking her laptop, phone and iPad! The pair were making their plans for when she was visiting him in Europe in April (see screenshots - his words are in gray, hers in blue) but the messages stopped as I read them. Maybe my wife was suspicious, since I wasn't in the room and she would have known her iPad was in the kitchen pinging. I made sure to flush the toilet before coming back to the TV room.

So we got to bed at 1am and I was angry about the texts but still looking forward to my 'surprise'. A bald pussy trumps all, at this stage in my barren sex life. But it was not to be. My wife turned out the lights and went to sleep. She gave me a sort of hug, which I attempted to reciprocate, but she rolled away and mumbled something - as if to say 'what? I'm already asleep'.

Whatever libidinous feelings she had for me at 5pm were gone, possibly washed away by whatever fantasies she had running through her head about This Guy.

I tried to sleep myself, but of course that's impossible when your mind is churning through various scenarios between your wife and This Guy. They may not be having a physical affair. but as their text's show they're certainly sharing a level of intimacy that goes beyond 'professional'. I haven't mentioned this previously but three days ago they were on the phone together (ostensibly to talk about some international BNG project) and I overheard him say (because my wife had gone upstairs to take the call but put him on speakerphone - and I had eavesdropped) "don't worry, I have to look after my honey-bunny".

I don't know WTF the context that was said in, but it reminded me of when I first realised something was going on between them two years ago (in NY) when she admitted they had given each other 'joke' pet names during their drunken night in Tijuana (for which I wasn't present) 6 months prior.

So here I am, at 2.30am, pounding away at the keyboard trying to get this (whatever 'this' is) out of my system. It's not helped now that I've just discovered an email (also received at midnight) from BNG International confirming both a payment received from my wife and also that This Guy is now her registered guest at the next BNG conference in April in [European city]. As you might recall from this post This Guy asked her if he could be her 'partner' at the conference, and she agreed. As he said at the time: "the rumors will spread LOL"

So... do you think they've cheated already, or are they about to consummate their online affair in [European city]?

Or maybe nothing is going on and I'm just being paranoid?

Read Part 2 [Here]

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Hooker Hacks: have sex with your husband!!

Just put on something sexy and imagine you're with George Clooney if you have to...
I do a lot of whining on this blog about not having enough sexual intimacy with my wife, and it's a common complaint from many men. It's so ubiquitous that many women just roll their eyes and scoff when a man says it - if you're not getting enough sex it's probably because you just expect it too much, and don't understand foreplay. Not just sexual foreplay, but being loving and attentive before any sexual intimacy begins.

Sure, I get that - it's 2017 after all - but I believe there is still a bunch of us men who are loving and attentive, understand foreplay (ie we don't just rush in), and yet still can't get our wives interested in sex. Whilst some might argue that if you're not interested you're not interested and no one should be forced into having sex if they don't want to (something I and most evolved men would agree with) sex therapists and marriage counsellors have for decades been advising women to 'use it, or lose it'.

Even if you don't really feel in the mood for sex, the advice goes, don't reject your man. Give it a go and you may find once you start your mood changes and you get into it and find it quite enjoyable. The caveat of course is that if it's painful or completely unenjoyable then stop, since you may have deeper issues (physical or mental) affecting your libido (so seek professional help).

My wife is definitely the type to get into it once she starts, but the problem is getting her started. As I've complained previously, I don't understand why she is so reluctant to have sex given that when we do she seems to get off just fine (click the tag 'we had sex' at the bottom of this post for some examples). We are currently at the stage where I have given up trying to initiate because it's just so damn soul destroying to be rebuffed so consistently.

It's like buying a lottery ticket every week... if you don't get a few wins every so often (large or small) then you eventually realise you're just wasting your money and stop buying a ticket.

So when someone shared this story on Facebook recently my interest was piqued immediately. A bunch of hookers in Australia were telling Aussie women how to keep their man: give them some sexual intimacy!! I couldn't agree more!!! To be fair, the hookers escorts sex workers said it's often not even about the sex - some of their clients just want to be listened to, to feel valued and appreciated, and don't always want sex. They just want 'the girlfriend experience'.

Men don't talk about deep issues with each other, [yet] they need someone to talk to. They don't talk to their wives about it, so they talk to the escort.

"They've had some kind of disconnect, for someone to open up to an escort you must think, what happened to your marriage? What kind of marriage do you have? Women have so many different issues they have to deal with, and children can be a big reason for a disconnect."
Yet she assured, "it doesn't mean they've lost interest in their partner, they still want their loving relationship at home".
She said women need to "communicate with their partners and don't let things ride, get deep with your issues. Don't go to sleep on the argument."
And last, but not least: "Don't hold off on the sex. Always have sex. Learn to enjoy it." [more]

I know there are plenty of women out there who might also say 'Hey, I just want to be listened to as well, and valued, and appreciated - and if I was then I might be more sexually intimate too' and I accept that. It's funny isn't it, how a couple might want the same things, but after so many years together they somehow have lost the ability to communicate their needs?

My wife and I have been to marriage counselling twice (two separate courses) and both times (in various sessions) the key message from the therapist has been "You must be open and honest and communicate clearly what you want and how you feel". Things were fine for a month or so and then we fell back into old habits. By which I mean my wife fell back into her old habits: she likes things the way she likes things, and she doesn't like to be told what to do by others.

I'm pretty sure she blames me for her lack of sexual desire - if I was 'sexier' then she'd feel more libidinous ergo "It's not me, it's you"

There was even the time she went on that BNG retreat a year ago (read this and this) and got all pepped up on the personal growth sessions she did as part of that. It was great for about a month and we had a lot of sex (she said she'd learnt how important sex was to men and promised she would be a lot more giving in that regard) but then it all just fizzed out. Old patterns returned. She was busy with 'work' again, 'forced' to go to functions, dinners, and networking events; always too tired or needing to get up early for a meeting so sex was out of the question.

And what do the Aussie sex workers say?

"Men are looking to be understood and be heard. They're looking for that bit of love that they're obviously missing. I could open up a school to teach women how to be intimate because there are so many out there that are not giving intimacy to their husbands."

In some cases, the escorts engage in reciprocal sexual pleasure (girlfriend experiences), but in other cases, they won't have sex at all (companionship experiences).
"There's definitely more demand for it. I can't tell you the number of times a client and I haven't had sex. We may just sit there and talk, we may have dinner. There's so many times that you will not have sex. Sometimes there will be a run of it when I think ... 'wow'. It's not this wild, crazy, hang-from-the-chandeliers porn star experience they want. They just want to be with a girlfriend for an hour. Cuddling, being together, talking, having that intimacy with somebody."  [more]

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Digging for Gold

I used to have a blog on Wordpress that got terminated due to pornographic content. Here's one of those posts...

Nero posted: " Well, that's not something you see every day - not even on the internet! It doesn't do anything for me, but I figured if you're going to fist your own ass you deserve some recognition for it. Or am I just encouraging more of this risky sexual be"

recovered post from Her Secret Library

She's digging for gold – you go girl!

by Nero
(not the original image, sorry - lost in transfer)
Well, that's not something you see every day - not even on the internet!
It doesn't do anything for me, but I figured if you're going to fist your own ass you deserve some recognition for it.
Or am I just encouraging more of this risky sexual behaviour? I mean, seriously, this gives new meaning to the word rectum….
Nero | February 21, 2014 at 12:30 pm | Tags: anal play, fisting, pic of the day, picoftheday | 

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

TMI Tuesday – March 21, 2017 ~ Work Life Balance

I am convinced this would improve my Work Life Balance

1. What did you do with your very first paycheck?
~ I don't recall. I started working when I was old enough to to do a paper route (delivering newspapers). I also started doing odd jobs around the neighborhood from an early age. I started buying my own clothes when I was about 15 (so I looked fly) and I bought my first car when I was 17 (and it wasn't a clunker), all with my own money.

2. Besides paying recurring bills, What did you do with your last paycheck?
~ I don't get paychecks anymore. I haven't worked in a long time. I live off my investments. I live very frugally since technically I'm 'poor'. Luckily my wife is rich so she pays for most of my living expenses and vacations.

3. There is only one bricks ‘n’ mortar store allowed to remain within 200 miles of your home. What type of store would you want this to be? You can name a type of store or the specific name of a store.
~ Walmart. The people who shop there are amazing. As are the staff. And they have everything.

4. You are only allowed and able to access one website for an entire year. What website do you choose to be your one and only?
~ It would probably have to be Facebook then, since they would have the most embedded content within their site. Coincidentally... I disconnected my Facebook page when I got back from Mexico so I've been off 'crackbook' for a week now. My wife is surprised.

5. What makes you cringe – in life, at work, in the bedroom?
~ In life: people who try too hard to be liked/loved by others. They wear their hearts on their sleeves and you can see the desperation in their eyes.
~ At work: been a while since I had co-workers but I'd say it was a version of trying too hard to please (as above). Or putting up with shit they don't deserve from a boss or co-workers.
~ In the bedroom: the only thing that makes me cringe is my own behavior, sometimes. My wife has rebuffed me for so long for so many times that I keep telling myself I need to just stop trying. So I refuse to initiate, hoping that she finally will - but she never does. The most I can last without sex is 6 weeks at which point I do something rash that I regret. (see next question)

6. What can you do better – in life, at work, in the bedroom?
~ I have started to make changes in my life ie trying to find/create my own happiness. My wife does whatever the hell she wants without any regard to what I might want, she is focussed on 'enjoying life'. It's a one sided relationship, which was confirmed during our 2 weeks in Mexico. Her fellow female BNG members all told her (during the BNG conference in Mexico) what a kind attentive thoughtful husband I was, and she revelled in that. She told me how they all complimented me and told her what a great husband I was. Which was nice to hear but this time it did not translate into any libidinous feelings on her part - which is what used to happen in years previous. She would get horny (possessive?) for me whenever her female friends complimented me and/or told her how lucky she was to have me.
In the bedroom? We are back to me refusing to initiate sex, since it is clear my wife is not interested and I am sick of degrading myself by 'forcing' myself upon her. No, nothing rapey, I just reach a point where I'm virtually begging for sex - to the point where it is embarrassing and she feels obligated to oblige me in some way. Lately (this past 12 months, at least) it has meant handjobs to give me some release. She starts me off and then gets me to finish, since "you know what you like". I feel like shit afterwards. So... now I am masturbating solo so that I don't have blue balls and start getting desperate.
Suffice to say it is not the life I imagined when we got married 20+ years ago.

Bonus: If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
~ I have no freaking idea.

Double Bonus: "I have managed to have sex with my wife while we are in Mexico, but it has been kind of odd. I will explain more when I get home and have the chance to write."  I wrote that two weeks ago but still haven't had the opportunity to write it up. I promise I'm trying to get to it, but [spoiler!] it's not a great or happy story.

This was my original image choice, which I captioned
"I googled 'work sex' and got this! ha ha"
then I had a brainwave: google 'office sex' instead!


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Japanese fascination with Schoolgirls

I've been to Japan twice, visiting big cities like Tokyo and Kyoto, but I never saw anything like what is shown in the video above. Sure, I saw a hint of it in some of the back streets in Tokyo but since I didn't speak the language I was oblivious to most of it. Being a gaijin (foreigner) no-one handed me a flyer, which I presumed were just for local eating houses.

This short doco is really good and yet very sad. I'm not smart enough to articulate myself properly but when I was there I became intensely aware of what a male dominated society it was and how narrow it was for women. Once married they are not expected to work, which is why they put it off if they can - and yet they can't risk putting it off for too long because god forbid they should end up unmarried. Life for both genders in Japan is very regimented and both are expected to perform specific roles and behave in a specific manner.  The culture/society dictates it, and the majority will not deviate from the norm.

 When one of the school girls in the short doco above says she has no friends it almost broke my heart. Another one, now older and wiser, talks about how the people who she thought were her friends weren't. They were the ones who introduced her to "JK" ("joshi-kosei osanpo dates" - that’s Japanese for “high school walking”).  JK is the business of selling schoolgirls. It starts off with paying schoolgirls to walk around the block with you, or telling you your fortune, or drinking tea with you - but of course that is just the soft end of the stick. The 'pimps' (because what else would you call these so called businessmen who run these supposedly 'harmless' services for supposedly 'lonely' Japanese men?) are grooming the girls to see which girls are susceptible to offering 'more' on the menu of services.

It's an unpleasant subject but well worth a watch. Be informed, it might be your grandchildrens future.

As I read more and more articles about how AI (artificial intelligence) and robots will take over most of the traditional jobs in the next 30 years I have to wonder what will be left for people to do. It's a subject I bore my real world friends with: if the robots and 'automation' are doing everything then what is left for humans to do to earn a living? My answer is sex work, which doesn't sit very well with them, even though they can't give any examples of what we'll do in the future.

And given the technological advances in sex dolls (as I mentioned last Sunday) even that work may not be an option either!

Saturday, March 18, 2017


We went to Coco Bongo while on vacation in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico.

Apparently there are a few Coco Bongos across South America and if you get to go I certainly recommend it. It's hard to explain what it is (a nightclub with various shows included) but it is definitely a wild fun night - or was that just because we were plied with so much free tequila by our Mexican hosts?

Here's the official clip (albeit 2014) from Coco Bongo - I liked this bit (7m29s)

Despite my wife getting hammered and dancing her ass off on the bar (which usually means she's in high spirits and horny) by the time we got back to the hotel room she was tired and insisted we go to sleep. No vacation sex for Nero, again.

Is it #stpatricksday or #fetishfriday ???

via Instagram

I couldn't decide so I thought I'd commemorate both with a bit of Irish green #latex #rubber. (And those beautiful green #tassels belong to @roxi_dlite )

Friday, March 17, 2017

St Patrick's Day - Again?

It seems like only a year ago I was trawling for clicks by pandering to the St Patrick's Day meme, despite personally thinking St Patrick's Day is a load of bunkum ie just an excuse to drink during a work day and get blitzed after work. So this year I shall attempt to be a man of principle and ignore St Patrick's Day.

Besides, if you want to see attractive Irish men and women naked you only need click on my posts from last year (spoiler: they're such lame pictures!):

if you look closely you'll see this is a stunning display of bad photoshop!

Thursday, March 16, 2017

How old is she?!

via Instagram

This stunning post from the always gorgeous Sommer Ray is why it always pays to ask someone you meet in a club or bar how old they are. The babe on the left is only 15!!! The babe on the right is the same babe as on the left, but 10 years later! For the purposes of my post I'm merely pointing out that (for me at least) it can be very hard to tell how old or young someone is anymore. Today's fashion and makeup trends mean any 15 year old (my daughter included) can easily look 20+ if they want to.

(PS - I don't know if Sommer Ray went clubbing at 15 - I'm just using this image as an example, so don't think I'm casting aspersions on #sommerray)

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

TMI Tuesday: March 14, 2017 ~ Very interesting questions

I got to swim once in our resort pool, because my wife wanted us to hang out with her BFF in Cancun town every day. 

1. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
~ Reach for the bottle of Jack and grab a pack of cigarettes off the nightstand. Oh wait, I'm not one of those Alpha 'Bad Boy' Males in my wife's erotica - I'm a real human being! I grab my phone and see what time it is. Then figure out how long I've got before I have to get up. Usually i get up straight away because once I'm awake I'm awake.

2. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
~ Look at my phone and figure out how many hours sleep I might get before I have to get up again. It's usually six or seven. I probably need nine.

3. Are you a giver or taker?
~ I'm a giver. I realised this during the past two weeks, while in Mexico with my wife (just got back today). I give, she takes (sexually speaking).

4. If you had to give yourself a new name, what would it be?
~ Nero. (Because it's not my real name, if you didn't know)

5. A world-famous chef asks you to make dinner, what would you make?
~ Chilli con carne, over wild rice (with chopped nuts). #$%@ him/her if s/he expected something more! (Hey, I added nuts and wild rice - what more do you want?)

Bonus: What’s the worst advice you ever received?
~ Nothing I haven't recovered from, but there have been a few doozies.

Double Bonus: An update on  an update on Monday Morning Blues: remember how I said my wife has swapped our 4 night booking (an $800 deal) for her friends 6 night booking (but we're only using 5 nights) for a cost of $2,000. [See the link, her BNG friend will be there but his brother cancelled on a non refundable special deal so her friend offered us his brothers' room]. Turns out the resort was All Inclusive, meaning we didn't have to pay for any meals or drinks (including alcohol). Sounds like a sweet deal after all, right? Well, it would have been, if we'd actually eaten and drunk there. But no, every day after breakfast we drove into town to join her BFF staying in another hotel. The only meal we had at our all inclusive resort was the first night we arrived!  We literally just slept there, the rest of the time we were out of the resort, spending all our money in town. What a waste of a 6 star resort!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Male Sex Dolls for Women

About 10 years ago I became familiar with a company called Real Dolls who were making life size replica women that people could have sex with. They looked very realistic (albeit very mannequin like) and you could play with their boobs and shove your dick in their vagina and fuck 'em. Not something I was personally interested in (although I found them fascinating) but you could buy them for about $5,000 back then.

Now there is another company in the market and their point of difference is that they also make male dolls (in addition to female dolls), which they say are designed for the female market. I'll take them at their word, although I suspect a few of their customers may be closeted males posing as women. The company is called Sinthetics and VICE Reporter Karley Sciortino explored the doll's sexual capabilities in a 20-minute session at their factory. The doll, Gabriel, was 5ft 9 inches with real pubic hair and his penis even had 'flaccid' and 'erect' options.

In the above short documentary for VICE, she is shown having sex with the doll while describing how it feels. She says: "It feels absolutely indistinguishable from a real person except that I am completely in control. You can't have this experience having sex with a real person. It feels weird because it is so lifelike but it enters this space which feels uncomfortable. It feels like a real person who can't respond to you."

The video is fascinating,  and we can only wonder what the technology for sex dolls (male or female) will be like in another 20 years. Which will probably be just in time for when I need one. I can imagine my wife wives who don't want to have sex with their husbands ordering a sex doll for him with her face on it. And maybe one for themselves too, with his face on it. Think on that for a moment:

We'll all be in our marital beds, side by side, fucking our surrogate sex dolls...

Saturday, March 11, 2017

OPP: "Am I The Only One Who...?"

Atiya has a great blog that I really enjoy, although for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it is that I like about it. I just do. I just really like her spirit I guess - she has a unique and honest charisma. I imagine she would be a fun person to know. Here's a sample of her work (I told her it was the hottest thing I'd seen online all month). You can see the original here or check out her Sincerely Yours blog here.

Am I The Only One Who.....

becomes dripping wet by reposting and reblogging pictures on Tumblr?

and ends up playing with herself almost every single time I finish with Tumblr?

Masturbates while laying in the tub and water splashing down to my clit, loving the fact my hands are free to fondle my nipples

enjoys getting naked at work and playing with herself in the bathroom?

Posts naughty pics while at work?

Is constantly daydreaming of getting fucked, spanked, tied up, getting used, squirming under him as he masturbates me?

will see a picture or GIF and then try to imitate what is being done 
(just checked to see how it felt - I have the same toy)

will cum just thinking that he is coming in my mouth?

and will go days at a time horny 24 hrs around the clock?

tied up their breasts because of curiosity and to see how they look?

(could not find the pics I made of me tying up my breasts)

is afraid to try certain things but is willing to go the distance for love, devotion, and her Owner...
(I have never seen a ball/ring gag up close and personal but I can tell you that I already dislike the thing!)

and I do feel like....

I have a virgin ass and I'm a bit afraid of the mixed reviews about anal - still afraid for now.

Time to be productive at work!!

Is break time!

Happy Friday!

Sincerely Yours,