Monday, March 27, 2017

"I might have a surprise for you later" ~ Part 2

In last Saturday's post "I might have a surprise for you later" I mentioned how my wife had teased me on Friday afternoon by saying "I might have a surprise for you later". I surmised (hoped? projected?) she might have got a brazilian wax that afternoon, since she had just come back from a local spa. I looked forward to finding out later that night, although I knew in my heart that there would be no surprise.

So what was 'her surprise' going to be? That she'd got a Brazilian?
That she'd got a Brazilian AND pierced her pussy?
My wife has a habit of hinting we might have sex, or some form of sexual intimacy, but it never eventuates. She might mean it when she says it but then later, when it's time to turn talk into action, she gets cold feet and can't follow through. On a bad day I wonder if she's like Lucy: always telling Charlie Brown to kick the football, promising she won't move it, and then pulling it away just as he tries to kick it.

It's like how she brought lube and her favorite vibe on vacation with us to Mexico but then we didn't use either, because we only had sex (kind of) twice. (I still haven't told that story, I really must get to it - it wasn't good).  It's like how she brought lube and her favorite vibe when she we whisked me away for a surprise weekend at a Bed & Breakfast to celebrate my birthday... and then we ended up not having any sex of any sort the entire weekend. This pattern has been repeated a lot in the past five years - possibly the last ten years if I was to think hard about it.

It's like all the times she's got a brazilian and then waited 3 or 4 days before 'sharing' that with me, by which time the regrowth has started and the joy (mine) of experiencing a smooth, bare, bald pussy is thwarted.

As you can imagine it is very damaging to the male my ego.

Anyway, on with the story: even though we came home early-ish on Friday night (10.30pm) and had the house to ourselves (daughter on a sleep over) my wife was in no rush to show/give me the surprise she'd promised (details here).  Ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Saturday morning but... no. My wife stayed in bed until mid-day, and then emerged fully dressed and headed out to... get her nails done.

Which confirmed that her Friday afternoon 'treatment' must have been a pussy wax. I mean, what else could it have been?

So ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Saturday night. We were going out to a show with her BNG buddies so I figured she should be in good spirits when we got home and maybe... but it was the same as Friday night.  This time we got home just before midnight and my wife pretty much went straight to bed. This time I went to bed with her but she was not in a playful mood and pretty much went straight to sleep.

Ever the desperate optimist I thought maybe something might happen on Sunday morning but... no. My wife stayed in bed until mid-day, and then emerged to make 'brunch' for my daughter and the four friends she had invited over for a slumber party in our movie room. I walked the dog. Even as one half of my brain wondered if maybe I'd finally get to see the 'surprise' on Sunday night (we sometimes have sex on Sunday night, when she knows she really really must tick that off her To Do list) the other half of my brain was laughing and asking how much of a schmuck I was.

Nothing happened on Sunday night.

But Monday...

Monday was different. I'll tell you that story on Wednesday, after TMI Tuesday. (Since I've only just had time to quickly tack on this 'Monday' paragraph to the post I had drafted and scheduled this morning). It involves my wife coming home for 'lunch', and a leather skirt slowly unzipped in our home office...

Read Part 3 on Wednesday! [Here]

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