Sunday, April 2, 2017

Possibly the most WTF moment in my marriage...

This post was sitting in my 'drafts' folder for a long time. I've finally finished it! It relates to our Mexican visit at the beginning of last month...

Tuesday night was the first official night of the BNG conference in Mexico. We're all here. Big dinner for 500 delegates, and then the official after party at a bar next to our hotel. My wife is in fine form, catching up with various BNG people she has met from all over the world, and they all know her because together with her BNG BFF they are 'the BNG Party Girls!".

No-one would believe they're 50 because they don't look it and they party hard. Drinking and dancing and yahooing all night long!

Regular readers might remember that two years ago my wife went to a BNG conference in LA (without me) and one night a bunch of them jumped in a limo and crossed the border into Tijuana. It was a wild night that people still talk about (usually the people in that limo, keen to remind others of what party animals they are). So for my wife and her BNG BFF this was a return to the scene of the crime, albeit in Mexico proper, not Tijuana (which is the Las Vegas of Mexico).

Maybe the kid thought he was Justin Bieber?
Another person in that Tijuana group was This Guy, who led 'the festivities' that night. He has chosen not to attend the BNG conference in Mexico this year, despite being such supposedly good buddies with my wife and her BNG BFF. According to her Facebook email they forged a bond that night that can never be broken (I'll spare you the excerpts). One of the last things he said to my wife as we left for Mexico was that she had to uphold the 'legacy' they'd established in Tijuana, and that it was up to my wife to party hardest and wildest.

So... here I am in Mexico with all that B.S. hanging over my head.

There's over two hundred of us in the bar next to the hotel for the first night 'after party' but by about 11pm it started to wane. Most people have gone back to their rooms at the hotel, in preparation for the first big day next morning. So our group of BNG'ers (including some other BNG'ers from other countries who had been present at the supposedly infamous Tijuana escapade) were asking "where to next?". I suggested we all go to a roof top bar I'd spotted the night before, about 3 blocks away.

There was some trepidation, since Mexico City can be a dangerous place after dark, especially late at night. I said the 20 of us travelling as a group should be safe, so off we went, into the night. We got there safely but once at the door had to deal with someone who wanted a ridiculous amount of pesos as a 'door charge'. Luckily we had some Spanish speakers present (not me!) and we were able to negotiate the dubious cover charge down to all of us getting in for the price of one.

He opened the door and ushered us into a dimly lit closed ground floor shopping mall. Not a fancy one, either. He called up a lift and told us to get in and go to the top floor, which we did. It was all getting quite sketchy but we were committed so onwards and upwards! (Robbery and kidnap are common in Mexico - later during the 4 day conference one attendee would be chloroformed and robbed, and another badly beaten up and robbed, Both within a few blocks from our hotel and both late around midnight).

We emerged on the 6th floor and the music was pumping. It was a genuine club for locals - the plastic tables and chairs confirming it was not for corporate types! There were about a dozen people in the club already, all dressed very casually, looking like possibly they'd come straight from finishing work at 10pm. There was a big screen video projecting images of MMA or UFC fights - but all of them were female fighters! That was interesting, I thought. The music was Mexican dance music, not US Top 40 Club hits so I was loving that, and it wasn't long before we were all on the dancefloor with the locals.

In Mexico the liquor is cheap, meaning you can just buy the bottle without paying hundred more for a bunch of promo girls to carry it out to you with a flaming firework attached. We bought a bottle and all did shots, and then some more shots, and then we switched to Margaritas from the slushy machine on the bar. We all got drunker and drunker and then I noticed half our number had slipped away. My Spidey sense said we would need to be careful we didn't stay out too late.

My wife was on the dancefloor with what looked like an 18 year old boy, having the time of her life doing 'the forbidden dance'. He was very athletic and had all the moves but when the Lambada finished and the next song was something even more raunchy he flipped her around and started humping her from behind. He'd taken all that bumping and grinding on the dancefloor as assent so now he stepped it up a notch. His hands were on her hips and he was thrusting into her butt, even giving her a gentle push on her back to make her bend over.

I could tell he was still 'just' dancing (those Latins have such great rhythm!), but only just. There was no telling what he might do during the next song, so I stepped forward and pointed my camera phone at them - gesturing that I wanted to take a picture. It was my way of letting them both know I was there, and watching. I wish I could publish the picture, it's priceless:

As I took the photo the young man stepped forward and bent down on one knee (but not completely to the floor) as another local girl (his girlfriend?) photobombed them both by coming in behind my wife, grabbing her around the waist, and pushing her head over my wife's shoulder. I thought for a moment she was going to grab my wife's boobs. As this is happening the young man is pulling up his t-shirt with one hand, showing off his tattoos and the 12" scar running up his exposed chest, and throwing a gang sign with his free hand. My wife's eyes are wide open and she's clearly having a WTF?! moment.

It really was hilariously funny (for me) but also our cue to call it a night. We'd somehow lost even more of our crew and now there were only six of us BNG'ers left. Time to finish our drinks and go, which we did. We all laughed as we walked back to the hotel, all very proud of ourselves for being such badasses for going to a 'real' Mexican bar and walking the mean streets of Mexico City after midnight. As I mentioned earlier, two days later we would learn the real danger of doing such a thing.

But I digress. This is not the incident that explains the title of today's post. It is not Possibly the most WTF moment in my marriage...

The title refers to the sex my wife and I had back in the hotel after we got back from this rooftop bar, after having drunk so much liquor. We weren't falling down drunk or anything but we did kind of flop into bed as soon as we opened the hotel room door.  I'll tell you why it was Possibly the most WTF moment in my marriage in my next post, because clearly we have run out of time with this post. I promise you it's a doozey - I can't believe what she did (and it's not good).

Possibly the most WTF moment in my marriage... Part Two (next Sunday)


  1. I wish I could see the picture. It really does sound priceless!

    1. It was. Maybe this is why we she went on her 4 week 'no alcohol' binge after Mexico>


We welcome comments but hate SPAM. If you are a spammer we will not only delete you but actively report you as well.
We encourage frank robust discussion on all subjects within our blog but NO hate speech will be allowed. Again, we will actively report this.