|True story: I'd actually planned to seduce my wife in the car on the way home from the airport (it was a nightflight)|
because I suspected she needed 'novelty' to kickstart her flagging libido. That plan was dashed when.... [read on]
She also did not feel the need to share any sexual intimacy with me upon her return home either, despite giving me a big hug and a kiss and telling me how much she missed me. So all that showering and manscaping I did prior to collecting her at the airport was for nothing, and the mood was further killed when she turned up with a man in tow to whom she'd offered a ride home from the airport. The pair of them babbled about their BNG conference for the entire trip, which sounded like one long boozefest. So much for 'learnings', right?
Anyway, no sex when we got home and no sex that weekend and... cut to last weekend. Actually, the Thursday before last weekend.
I noticed in her diary an appointment on Thursday afternoon for a Spa treatment with the place I know she get's her waxing done. Could I be in for a 'special treat'? Given our previous conversations on this subject (the subject being please let me know straight away so I can enjoy your smooth bare pussy before the regrowth starts) I was certain she'd let me know if she had. She didn't. I knew we had a party to go to on Friday night so maybe she was waiting until then for the big reveal?
Despite drinking lots of champagne and wine (and chatting to a handsome single man for an hour, who she'd promised to fix up with one of her single friends - "but first you must tell me all about yourself") when we got home she went straight to bed and went to sleep. Saturday night was exactly the same, except this time we went to a Japanese restaurant with another couple and my wife consumed a lot of sake. And we got home she went straight to bed, and sleep.
Nothing happened Sunday either.
So on Tuesday night we had another function, but were home by 10pm. My wife had enjoyed the wine and this time she was very direct. "Are you coming to bed?" she asked, leaning forward to give me a peck on the cheek. "Why?" I asked, "what do you want?" It might have seemed obvious what she wanted but she's done this before, and then when I get to bed she says she's tired, needs to be up early for a meeting, and goes to sleep. So this time I was taking no chances. Neither was she. "Nothing," she answered, "I just thought you should get to bed early."
Well, that was helpful.
She slunk off to bed and I weighed my options. If she wanted sex and I failed to come upstairs and initiate then she would be blame me, and get all sulky. If she didn't want sex and I came upstairs and initiated but she rejected me then I would get all sulky. We hadn't sex for over a month so it was a no brainer: I went upstairs. But I decided we would have a little chat first - assuming she wanted sex of course.
When I came up she was already in bed with the lights out - but when I entered the bedroom she threw back the covers and switched on the light. Which had been pre dimmed. She was clearly trying to set the mood as she tapped the empty mattress beside her. Ordinarily I'd dive right in there, but first I had a few questions. Luckily she had a few answers.
I asked her if she really wanted sex or just thought we should do it because we hadn't done it for a while and she felt bad about 'not performing her wifely duties' (that's a joke older married couples make). She said she did want to have sex, because she wanted to have sex. I countered with 'why now?' - why now and not before, what made now so different. I pointed out that we didn't have sex before I left for School Camp, and knowing that she wasn't going to see me for a few weeks she clearly had no desire to fuck me back then.
I pointed out that when she got back from Europe she again had no desire to fuck me, so what made today so special? She said she had her period as she flew home, and then she had a lot of presentations to do later in the week, and ... yadda yadda yadda. I told her that we didn't have to have penetrative sex, and that going without any sex really does my head in, and this wasn't the first time I'd told her that, and we could do 'other things' instead, and .... she said yadda yadda yadda.
I asked her why she didn't want to have sex on the weekend, given we'd gone out on both Friday and Saturday night, and had good time each night and she hummed and hahed and... went into a long discourse about how she wanted to have sex but when she thinks about sex she thinks about what happens after we have sex, penetrative sex, namely cystitis, and how afterwards she always needs to go on antibiotics, and how knowing that really puts a dent in her libido, and she needed to find a good lube because the last tube was so awful (it was) but now she had bought two new tubes, different brands, and so now we could have sex...
I knew she'd bought two new lubes because she'd bought them on her first day home and left them on the kitchen bench, and then asked me to move them upstairs in a panic when she thought our daughter was coming downstairs and would see them. Clearly she'd forgotten that she'd asked me to do that, and that that was over a week ago, because she was making out that she had just bought them and that's why we could have sex now.
I decided not to call her on it but continued the discussion. I told her again that we didn't have to have penetrative sex if that always caused her issues, and said that we could do other things. She said that wasn't the same, because oral and handjobs were really just foreplay and every time we did it we ended up wanting to fuck. I could tell she was really telling me how she felt. I said that was fine, I didn't always need penetrative sex I just needed some sexual intimacy, and besides if she really wanted to be fucked we could use the lube for anal. She laughed - and then realised I was serious.
She said it (anal) wasn't the same, and I said that's what sex toys were for - so she would be super aroused, if not cumming already - and then she said sex toys 'weren't the same' either. At which point I was wondering WTF she was wanting - until I remembered a question in this week's TMI Tuesday. I think she wants 'romantic sex' as opposed to 'kinky sex'. And then out of the blue she starts talking about This Guy - the guy she met at the European conference and then returned to his hometown for 3 days of R&R ie long walks in the park, museum and art gallery visits, and dinners.
Apparently he just happens to be working on an organic herbal 'medicine' for women like my wife who are getting older and having problems 'down there' - just like my wife is!! He has all the knowledge apparently, but my wife assured me that she never once 'talked about us and our issues'. In fact she reiterated that point so many times as she told me about him and their conversations that I am of course convinced she told him all about 'our issues'. I know my wife too well not to think she didn't dish everything after two glasses of wine.
I can't say much more without possibly giving away his identity or the product he's developing (the internet is such a small random place, really) which could in turn reveal my wife's identity. Suffice to say my wife is assisting him with his product and no doubt she'll be testing it too at some stage. So the two of them will be bonding even more closely in the next year - ain't that cool? I decided I didn't really want to talk about him anymore (she kept going on and on about how much he knew about vaginas, like he was some sort of global expert) (he's not) so I suggested we have sex instead.
My wife grinned, leapt up, and straddled my face... she was wet, primed, and ready to ride!