|I'm pretty sure this is the romantic image my wife had in her head when she pictured us at our 'Eco Lodge'!|
Men of course are simpler creatures and have one thing on their mind - is a little vacation sex too much to hope for?
In last week's TMI Tuesday: June 13, 2017 ~ Hey folks! I shared the following anecdote in answer to a question:
While my wife has never said “No, it was not good” we coincidentally had something similar happen last week. She was sitting on my face and I was eating her out and then she suddenly sat up and scolded me for not doing it right. I was quite taken aback by her tone. She asked why would I find the spot and then move from the spot, telling me that once she tells me I've found the spot I need to stay on the fucking spot! She then proceeded to ask me if I actually knew where the spot was.
This was very upsetting (to me) because:
- she was talking to me like I was an idiot child
- after 20+ years together I know where the spot is, and I do know that once you hit the spot you stay on it and don't move from it
- but I also have to breathe so I have to pull back sometimes or I'll suffocate (she clamps down hard, and smothers me when the pleasure takes over)
The situation was resolved by changing positions. She lay on her back and I continued.
- I also don't want to drown in her juices so I have to pull back sometimes to swallow
- The Eco Lodge turned out to be six large safari tents, each with their own composting toilet (ie not a flush toilet).
- Due to flies and bugs the mesh flaps had to be zipped closed at all times so it was hot.
- There was no TV and the promised wifi was almost non-existent - I gave up trying after two days.
- The swimmable beach was supposedly a 15 minute bike ride away but it was further. On Day 2 we hired a scooter and made the trip in 9 minutes.
- There wasn't much to do in the area and what there was my wife didn't want to do in case 'the boys' had booked it as part of the retreat activity program when they arrived later in the week.
- Apparently my wife didn't know what the guys had pre-booked, but she was confident I would be able to join in.
- As it turned out, I wasn't. The retreat was a bonding exercise and since I was not a member of the pod I was unable to participate. No scuba diving or sailing for me!
- The retreat started at 7am with yoga followed by breakfast and then they drove to a nearby resort (what?!) for the day for their 'workshops'.
- Basically once the official retreat started I only saw my wife again at about 10.30pm, when they all returned from dinner at a local restaurant and drinks in a bar. (But I would see her for about 20 minutes at 5ish when they all came back to the Lodge to change for the evening - that's when I saw that my wife had actually packed some fancy outfits after all)
- Luckily the area was not a happening place, because I know from experience these high flying achievers normally wouldn't even think about heading home until well after midnight.
- The exception was the last night of the retreat when I was allowed to join them for dinner and drinks afterwards. After the drinks we went to a local 'club' where the night previously my wife had been seriously hit on by a hot lesbian and the boys all wanted to see if it would happen again. (Or they wanted me to see it?)
- I could tell from the way my wife told her version of the story enroute that she also wanted to see if it would happen again.
- The lesbian was not there, but if you want to know why my wife was hit on it's because she looks like this.
- The Eco Lodge was in a remote area and there was not much to do or see. Honest. I spent a lot of time just scootering around and taking photos. In the evenings I would watch Netflix shows I'd downloaded.
- It was not the greatest vacation we've had and I often wondered why she had brought me.