Tuesday, June 20, 2017

TMI Tuesday: June 20, 2017 ~ Shame!

This is the trailer to the movie Shame, which I review on Thursday...

1. Tell us a sexual thing/fantasy would you never want your friends to know you like or have done?
~ Rimjobs. I love it when my wife tongues my balls, but when she goes down further it's positively electric. But it's not an anecdote you can share with the guys, is it? And it's definitely not something you'd share with friends at a dinner party is it? Honestly, I think after enough wine you could probably get away with admitting to your closest friends you've had anal sex; but there's no coming back from the mental image of her tongue up my ass. 

2. Has anyone ever found an item of sexy underwear, a sex toy or perhaps a picture on your phone that embarrassed you?
~ No-one can find anything on my phone because it's password protected. Does anyone ever leave there phone 'open' anymore? If anyone got into my phone they would just need to look at my Instagram account to see what gets me excited.
Now that our daughter is fifteen I do worry she will see the lube and vibrators in my wife's nightstand drawer, since they are not hidden. I don't think that's a mental image she needs to see and have mentioned it to my wife - who naively insists our daughter would not rummage through our drawers. (I know I did, well before 15)

3. Do you have any fantasies you could never go through with because you think you would feel ashamed?
~ No. But then my fantasies are fairly 'normal'. Anal, threesomes, and BDSM (but really just the dress up part, I'm not into pain). Sometimes I would like my wife to be sexually subservient, which is difficult because I consider myself an evolved human and believe in gender equality.

4. Have you ever felt shame after a sexual experience?
~ Not really, but ... well, how do I explain this? When I haven't had sex for a long time (i.e. two weeks) I start climbing the walls. After another week I am so desperate I get very direct in expressing my needs to my wife. This results in us having some form of sexual intimacy to give me 'relief'. Afterwards I feel bad, and sometimes (if she makes no pretense of doing anything other than giving me 'relief') I feel like a rapist. IMO this is not how a healthy sexual relationship should operate. 
On other occasions she responds well to me 'jumping her' and afterwards she's all "why don't we do this more?" and ... well, you've all read my blog posts about how she promises to commit to have more sexual intimacy with me on a more frequent basis. This lasts about two weeks and then it's back to the drought. 
The obvious coping mechanism (for the lack of sex) is to masturbate. This often leads to mixed feelings, one of which can be shame. Shame in the sense that I despair this is my lot in life: a sad old man destined to be jerking off for the rest of his days because his wife doesn't want to have sex with him.

Bonus: Share a recent non-sexual moment of shame.
~ I really can't think of one. Honest. (Because they're all sexual!!)

Double Bonus:
~ Yesterday I posted Sex in a Tent which oddly enough had no explicit sex scenes in it (because I'm saving those for Part 2 tomorrow). It explains the disappointing vacation we took earlier this month (and you didn't even notice I was gone, right?)


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!


  1. Before I was his slave, my Master used to masturbate twice a day. And that was in addition to regular (thought not frequent) sexual activity with me. I'd say we were at once a week having sex together when it was up to me or during low points once a month. It isn't necessary to be ashamed of having a different level of sexual drive than your wife. It's actually pretty common that one will be higher and one will be lower. I know for Master and I, this has changed throughout our marriage and currently I'm on the high end, but it wasn't always this way. I still want to super recommend this book to you: https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090?tag=thehuffingtop-20

  2. The link didn't go through, but the book is Come As You Are.

    1. looks interesting!

  3. oh my goodness your so prolific with your writing.Other posts here, I want to comment on too - Masturbation used to make me feel bad too. difficult. I'm writing my answers tomorrow - there's some shame - gonna be, isn't there?


We welcome comments but hate SPAM. If you are a spammer we will not only delete you but actively report you as well.
We encourage frank robust discussion on all subjects within our blog but NO hate speech will be allowed. Again, we will actively report this.