Thursday, July 20, 2017

About that sex last weekend...

Wonder Woman as Biker Chick by Dan Mora ©
So I told you about the sex we had last weekend but didn't get into too much detail because blogging via iPad is difficult. I have a keyboard that conveniently inconveniently deletes whole sentences/paragraphs randomly, depending on how I pressed the keyboard. Not like a laptop at all, Apple! Anyway, I promised you details so here they are:

On Friday night we watched '50 Shades of Grey' on the hotel TV - because we'd watched almost every other movie on offer during our two week vacation. It was not the sexy movie I was hoping for, and my wife agreed that it was kinda lame because of all the stuff they were leaving out. Not that either of us has read the book of course, but for a movie based on a book about a d/s relationship it was 98% vanilla.

Despite being on a two week vacation in a hot climate (South east Asia) my wife and I had not had any sexual contact since June 23 (Sex last Thursday AND Friday) ie it had been three @#$ing weeks!! In finding that link now I see that our last encounter was also a 'double header' ie sex two nights in a row. I suspect that's because I can only tough it out for three or four weeks but as soon as I'm reminded of what sex feels like I want more, straight away.

Anyway after the movie we had a brief discussion about how lame it was and a very tentative discussion about 'doing that sort of stuff'. She couldn't even say it out loud, and yet I know the majority of her erotic reading titles are in the BDSM or Forced Submission genres. I also know that during our vacation she had returned to reading some Kindleporn, namely this story (sorry, link not up until Sunday). I happened on that by accident so whatever else she got I don't know. but she did spend a lot of time on our vacation reading her iPad.

So we danced around the subject and she pretty much confirmed that I wouldn't be tying her up and spanking her anytime soon. She did mention that I had put a blindfold on her once, and she'd liked that - and I remembered that episode well. I'd put a sleeper mask on her and when she asked why I said so she couldn't see anything, and gave her permission (jokingly, but not really joking) to imagine she was in bed with whomever she wanted to imagine.

She became very aroused and we had really good sex, so I suspect she did indeed imagine she was with someone else - but I did not ask her about it afterwards. And she certainly wasn't 'fessing up to it now, a year or two later!

So we had a discussion without addressing the elephant in the room (ie specifically what her 'dark desires' were, the ones she refers to so often, but obliquely) and the issue became clear in my mind. My wife wants a Bad Boy/Alpha Male to take her roughly, spank her, and then fuck her good and hard. Just like in her Kindleporn erotica. She wants a man to take control and dominate her sexually.

Because those are all the ingredients in her dirty stories that always result in the woman having multiple and intense orgasms - which is what she wants. Sure, her left brain knows those stories are fantasy sex, but her right brain wants it anyway. My/our problem is that we know I am not that guy. Sure, I was when I met her, but in the subsequent decades she has become A Powerful Corporate Woman, used to calling the shots and holding dominion over 100 employees.

Now in those same stories the woman is usually sexualy voracious, enjoying a string of lovers who titillate but never quite fully satisfy her, until she meets The One Guy Who Can Tame Her. Which he does. He is the Alpha Male and when he finally snares her she struggles (at first) before submitting to his desires totally. And in return her desires are also met, totally, and they live happily ever after in their high-powered sexually explosive relationship. Unless it's a book series, in which case other people come into their lives and tear them apart, sexual confusion reigns, torment ensues, but by the final book they're back together again.

But I digress.

To cut this story short (and I see I haven't even got to the sex yet, as usual) my wife is like the illustration above. She's not actually Wonder Woman, and definitely not a Biker Chick, but in her own mind she is. Both. Her problem is that she's looking for a leather clad Bad Ass to sweep her up onto his bike and carry her away; yet she also wants to be the Bad Ass and ride the bike herself. It's quite the conundrum.

I could buy a Harley and a leather jacket no problem, but even if I did she'd never ride with me. Because my wife never rides pillion. She's the driver, not the passenger. She don't play Bass, she plays Lead Guitar. And sings lead vocals. And plays all the instruments in the studio. And could go solo if she wanted it to, and then the band would be fucked so watch yourself and just do what you're told or you're out!

I see I've switched from motorcycle metaphors to band metaphors now so I'll STFU. I'll give you all the sex tomorrow, promise!! 

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