Wednesday, July 12, 2017

How's your #humpday ?

via Instagram

I've been enjoying one hour #beachmassages every day since I arrived so I guess I should #stfu
And they only cost US$7.50 each too!

Mind you they don't look like the lady in this image (borrowed from Instagram). She looks like a resort professional whereas here in Vietnam they're all local women who have set up camp on the beach, adjacent the resort. As in just beyond the boundary. There's always a pretty lady at the front of the cabanas who offers you the best massage ever! and once you say "Okay" she leads you to a table and then her mother or grandmother appears from nowhere and tells you to "lie down!"

The grandmothers are the naughtiest, they run their fingers right up close to your testicles and sometimes pull your shorts down to right under your butt cheeks so you're completely exposed for all to see on the beach.

It's great theatre and all for only US$7.50  - for a full hour!

Depending on the lady the massages vary from good to great to okay.

I'm off to Thailand tomorrow because my wife said since we flew all this way we shouldn't just stay in one place the whole time. I know they have a lot of brothels there so maybe I'll finally get laid? Maybe my wife will outsource the marital sex? LOL

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