Saturday, September 30, 2017

Kinky Sex in a Hotel Room

When I wrote yesterday’s post about not getting any sex (despite all the opportunities we had now that we were alone [ie no longer with our friends in the villa in Sicily] now with our own hotel rooms as we drive across Italy) I had a nagging doubt. What do I do if we have sex tonite, after I’ve written the post but before it posts as scheduled, in the morning?

I decided I would worry about that when and if we did have sex, and so I scheduled the post as planned. 

Well, as luck would have it (good luck!) the fates intervened and we did have sex last night. And not just any ol’ ‘regular’ sex, this had an added kinky twist. Well, not that kinky by your standards probably but given our vanilla sex life it was quite kinky for us. Yes, it finished with anal sex! 

It went down like this:

We went out for dinner at a local restaurant and then returned to our hotel room about 9.30pm. It had been a long day of touristing so we were kinda pooped. My wife turned on the TV but they were all international 24 hour news channels, only six of them in English, and mostly business news orientated.

I discovered they had a Netflix app on the TV so my wife suggested we watch something. Logging in with the TV remote wasn’t easy, and when I did it was even harder to navigate. The simplest option was to just resume watching the ‘last played’ item, which just so happened to be ‘All Ladies Do It’ (1992), a classic Italian sex comedy (so it says on IMDB) from Tinto Brass - who made the infamous ‘Caligula’ for Bob (Penthouse Magazine) Guccione in the early 80s.

I’d only watched the first five minutes before realising it was pretty much an old school 80s porno (honestly I was shocked when IMDB said it was made in 1992) dressed up as Arthouse cinema - and worse, it was completely in Italian with no English language option (not even subtitles). Which shouldn’t be a surprise really given I discovered the title while searching Netflix titles in Italy.

Anyway, I pressed ‘resume watching’ and so we did. My wife was immediately startled by the content - it was so obviously cheesy, it was all in Italian, and just when she’d got her head around that the lead actress started fucking a stranger in a bathroom at a party! 

I told her what I’m telling you, dear reader: just watch it and enjoy it for it’s awfulness. Seriously. It really is tack-tastic, and the fact you don’t understand it (assuming you don’t speak Italian) just adds to it. We had no idea what we were watching, it was just a myriad of sexual scenes, which only now make sense as I read the IMDB plot summary:

Diana is happily married to Paolo but due to her wild passion for sex, she regularly winds up in short lived erotic adventures, which she doesn't keep hidden from Paolo. On the contrary: by telling him, their sexual relationship is fueled with fresh impulses. When Diana experiences a stormy affair with the poet Alphonse, Paolo gets jealous after all and rejects Diana, who then goes head first in to a wild orgy of sexual excess with her sister and some friends.

What they fail to mention is that director Tinto Brass has a butt fetish. We see a hell of a lot of Diana’s butt, which is great, and often the men are licking or prodding her asshole with their fingers and tongues. Little did I realise what effect this was having on my wife’s subconscious but I was soon to find out...

What we didn’t know, because we don’t understand Italian, is that Diana is given some advice from a fellow cheating wife early in the film (again, quote via IMDB):

Diana: What if you get knocked up? Antonietta: Oh, come on, there's no danger! It's simple, I use the most natural of methods. I just take it here! [Points to her behind] 

So anyway, we watch about an hour of the movie and despite my wife grumbling about how awful it is (sorry ladies, some of the men are not great) she does continue watching it.  Sure, she’s sitting on the sofa in front of our bed checking her messages and Facebook updates the whole way thru but she never says ‘this is stupid, let’s watch something else’. 

I’m sitting in bed, watching her as much as the movie, and observing the nonchalant way in which she watches the movie. Diana has that annoying ‘sex comedy’ giggle that has her laughing all the way through the movie, as if to remind the audience “Oh, I’m having so much fun - life shouldn’t be taken so seriously”. These giggles usually come when some random man makes a pass at at her.

And by ‘making a pass at her’ I mean ‘say a few words and then jump straight to feeling her up’. Who knows, maybe she’s giggling because they said something funny but we missed the joke because we don’t speak Italian? 

Anyway, let’s get to the sex we had, my wife and I, since it was very interesting. Interesting because there have been scientific studies into the effects of porn on women that show women respond to the same visual stimuli as men in the same way as men do - they become aroused. The difference is that female subjects will report they are not aroused, even though the physiological evidence proves other wise. The vagina lubricates and the heart rate quickens.

So while some women may say they don’t like watching porn, they still respond to it viscerally. Which is what happened to my wife. Which is why we ended up having hot and heavy sex. Which was so hot and heavy we ended up having anal sex as well! Anal sex that my wife, inspired by Diana in the film, was proactive in.

Which I’ll have to tell you about tomorrow because this post is too long already - sorry!   But maybe in the meantime you can check if Netflix is showing the movie in your region and watch a little of it, to get a taste of what’s coming in tomrrow’s Post?

Friday, September 29, 2017

My wife wants me to what?

So we’re in Florence [Italy] today and my wife says something that leaves me puzzled. She asks me if I’d like her to be more like Janet (not her real name of course, but one of the wives we shared a villa in Sicily with). I answered ‘Hell no!’, further explaining that I like Janet a lot but she was too prim and proper for me. Back in the 80s Janet had been lots of crazy fun but 25 years in Japan has changed her. She’s still fun to hang out with but... well, in Japan the wives don’t work so they occupy their time with tea ceremonies and keeping a well ordered household and ... I don’t know what.

She has some Japanese friends but being Gaijin (white foreigner) its not the same so she leads a relatively solitary existence by western standards. Her Gaijin husband works long hours (everyone does in Japan) but since he’s the boss, and because of his business, he gets to to take her on foreign trips 4 or 5 times a year. So she has a good life I suppose. But none of this is why my wife asked the original question.

“No, I meant would you like me to be like Janet and do what she does with Colin? [her husband]”

“What’s that?” I asked, thinking of the time back in the 80s that my friends Colin and John (also in Sicily with us) had a 3way with Colin’s then girlfriend Janet.

“She has him do things for her” explained my wife, “to prove his affection for her”

Again, I couldn’t get my head out of the gutter - I’d always suspected Janet was a dark horse, she couldn’t be that prim and proper - maybe there was something kinky going on with Colin. What had Janet confessed during that spa day the three wives took in Sicily?

“Really? I always thought Janet was the submissive one...” I said out loud.

“No silly, she gives him little jobs to do for her, sends him on errands, to prove how important she is to him” continued my wife. “Would you like me to do that for you?”

“I really don’t get it - do you want me to pick up your dry cleaning when we get home?” I responded.

The conversation stopped because my wife’s attention was diverted by shiney objects - namely the gold and silver jewellery in the shop windows on Florence’s Ponte Vecchio bridge. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about what she had said. WTF does she mean by suggesting maybe I should be assigned task to prove my love to her? I already do a million little things for her that she is completely oblivious to. Even her friends (the single and divorced ones, during a six hour lunch three weeks ago) had to tell her I was really great and point out all the nice things I do and say - for her.

Seriously, my wife has no tact and told me (when I picked her up after this 6 hour lunch with her gal pals) that the girls had pointed out how I was always complimenting her and always saying nice things about her - and then my wife said she laughed and was embarrassed because she had no idea. “So...” she said, as if bestowing a prize “thank you for being a good husband!”

And now, only three weeks later, she’s apparently forgotten it again and wants to assign me little jobs to do. Which she’s already done actually, and obviously forgotten. While she was away on conference (just before we left for this vacation) she had me pick up her drycleaning AND made me take a 5 hour round trip to hwr vacation home (the one we haven’t visited in over 4 months but was bought by her with the intention of visiting very other weekend) so I could fetch a little black dress she swore she needed for this trip.

Hand on my heart, I haven’t seen her wear it once yet.

Honestly, I’ve been stewing over this all day. I do plenty of shit for her already, and she has no fucking idea because to her it’s just normal. Because of her corporate background she is so used to having people do all the little things for her anyway that when I do something she’s not even aware of it. I could say more but I’m just moaning now so I’ll STFU. Thanks for letting me vent.

[PS - if she wants me to do my husbandly duties she’ll have to do her wifely duties too, right? Because despite all the fancy luxe 6 star hotels we’ve been staying in since leaving the other couples in Sicily we sure ain’t been getting it on. And Italy is so romantic!]   

Thursday, September 28, 2017

RIP Hugh Hefner 🦊

via Instagram

RIP Hugh Hefner 🦊

I guess if I’m to be truly honest I was never a huge Playboy fan. As an adult I fully appreciated the marketing and the brand, but as an adolescent I was more into Penthouse magazine. That was because the Playboy bunnies were too much ‘girl next door’ and I wanted something more sexually explicit. For a long time the difference between bth mags was that Playboy girls were naked but kept their legs together, whereas the Penthouse models spread their legs.

When you’re a pubescent teen that makes a big difference! Besides, I was too young to appreciate the articles in Playboy (and I much preferred the letters in Penthouse)! I do appreciate what Hugh Hefner did tho’ and so my teenage self mourns him today...


I once had the chance to attend a private event at the Playboy Mansion in 2015, but didn’t go. It was really just a corporate drinking event, with Playboy bunnies in attendance, and cost $1,000. There was no benefit or charity involved, it just cost that much to have a party at the Playboy Mansion!

@playboy #icon #sexualrevolution #naked #babes #playboy #playboybunny #hughhefner

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

My mini #shrine for #danidivine 😜

via Instagram
 Find and follow the original artwork @dani_divine πŸ‘€
#fetishmodel #babe #booty #boobs #rubber #latex #leather #fetish #corset #humpday

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

TMI Tuesday – catching up for Friday Sept. 8, 2017

We'll just boogie on out of here like nothing happened and no-one will notice... riiight?

If you're seeing this then it means I could not get to a computer to complete TMI Tuesday this week (I am on a European vacation - lucky me!). This post has been rescheduled three times so if you're a completist [like me] and interested in knowing WTF happened then scroll down to the bottom for the last explanation (that I haven't bothered updating)

1. You are going to make a sexy weekend with your lover. Which one are you most likely to enjoy? Which of the activities is most likely to happen?
a. Cook dinner together
b. Play a sexy game
c. Take a bath together
~ I'm most likely to enjoy 'Play a Sexy Game' but that won't happen. Most likely is my wife will get me to help her cook dinner. We have a bath in our bedroom but we never use it. (Yes, in the corner of our bedroom - one of my wife's follies when she bought her dream Mansion-ette)

2. Will you watch porn this weekend? Alone or with someone?
~ It will be alone, it's always alone.

3. Sexy games – pick one you’d like to play? Why?

a. Naked Twister or
b. Strip Trivial Pursuit
~ I'm presuming with Naked Twister everyone strips off first and starts spinning? Whilst I wouldn't mind my wife bending and writhing naked all over me, I would be naked too which might kill her buzz. It might be more fun if everybody strips in increments, so I'll choose Trivial Pursuit. Besides, I'm awesome so I'd likely have my wife half naked before I even lose a sock.

4. Friday night you hit happy hour, you meet a super sexy woman/man and the two of you chat and laugh the night away. She/he leans into you and says, “You’re irresistible, can I touch your pussy/cock?’ What is your answer?
~ "This is a set up, right? My wife sent you, right?" Followed by "okay, if that's how she wants to play sure, go ahead, touch my cock!"

5. Does this 'TMI on a Friday' have you changing your weekend plans?
~ My wife is away and doesn't get back until Saturday. I have blue balls. Maybe I will go out for a drink on Friday night? One of my female Facebook friends (on my Nero profile) suggested it. I passed a brothel yesterday, after driving my wife to the airport. It made me think.

6. What do you really have planned for the weekend?
~ As I mentioned previously my wife left on Wednesday for a 3 day conference and returns on Saturday. Then on Sunday we fly out to Europe for another vacation. My weekend plans are to pack on Saturday morning, pick my wife up from the airport on Saturday afternoon, and bone my wife on Saturday night. 

Bonus: What you like to do on the weekend but never seem to get the chance?

~ Bone my wife on Saturday night. Or Friday night if she prefers, or Saturday morning. Or Sunday morning. About midnight Sunday is when I give up all hope that she might be sexuallyinterested in me...

Double Bonus: My wife did send me a shot of her pussy last night. I haven't decided if I should share it with you or not. You can't see her face but... this

For the completists: [now well and truly out of date] The original intro...
This post was originally scheduled for last Thursday but I bumped it because I had this happen. Which then led to this, so I couldn't publish it on Friday either. And then I realized since I was flying to Rome on Sunday I'd probably miss this weeks TMI Tuesday questions on Monday [turns out I didn't!] so... I've scheduled it for today. So this week's TMI Tuesday will come on Thursday... does that make sense? 
It’s the weekend…yay! No week is complete without TMI Tuesday. So here it is on Friday~ Okay, here's what happened. H compiles the TMI Tuesday meme and posts it on Monday. We answer the questions and publish our responses on Tuesday. But last week H was tied to a bed and left there by a Dom who thought that would be hilarious. H did not escape til Tuesday, tracked him down on Wednesday, kicked his ass on Thursday, and on Friday gave us the questions for TMI Tuesday. But I didn't see them until Monday when I saw this week's TMI Tuesday questions (which I answered here).
Since I know you hang on my every word, and want to know everything there is to know about Nero I am answering these questions now. Besides, I don't want H kicking my ass. (Although she is hotAF so I might enjoy it!!)

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 25, 2017

Further to my post last Friday... πŸ”₯

via Instagram

Further to my post last Friday... @carrielachance as a #naughtyschoolteacher rewarding me after school for giving her an apple! πŸ˜‚

#dreaming #fantasy #babe #seduce #babesofinstagram #carrielachance #legs #heels #stockings #lingerie

Sunday, September 24, 2017

So much Booty in one little video!

If you like Booty (male or female) then there's plenty of all types to enjoy in this video!

....and if you look long enough you might just spot Rihanna's butt in the bath in this one:

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Hotel Vacation Sex - Part 2

On Wednesday I detailed what happened on Tuesday morning, after a long drought (here). Of course once I get some I want some more - usually. After London we flew to Rome, and my wife asked me at 5am if I wanted sex. She wasn't trying to initiate, she was just asking. I was still jet lagged (I'm also sick, with a hacking persistent cough BTW) so I said no, let's wait until we were in Sicily.

Later that night we were in Sicily and at 4am (have I mentioned the jet lag?) I initiated. My wife demurred, saying her period had started, Aha! That explains why she had asked in the previous morning if I wanted sex - she was trying to get me sated while she had the chance. I wasn't too worried so we tried 'other things' ie lots of hands, fingers, squeezing, and my wife gave me oral and a hand job. It felt good but I couldn't climax, as much as I wanted too. I was hard enough, but I just couldn't 'complete'. After about 40 minutes we stopped and slept.

I felt pretty crappy about my performance problem, but excused myself on the basis that I was both tired and ill and, even though I'm no doctor, it was probably the meds.

We had a great day in Sicily. We're sharing a villa with two other couples (friends) and it comes with a fully stocked wine cellar. Which we availed ourselves of that night. I went to bed at midnight but my wife continued drinking and didn't come up for another hour. When she got into bed we spooned, and soon the hands were moving everywhere. It got quite wild too. She was lifting her top and putting my hands on her tits and making me squeeze her, which I did. It got a bit rough. As well as twisting her nipples, boobs, and ass I was grinding my hand into her vulva and she was pushing back just as hard.

There was a lot of this, and for her part she was grabbing my dick and trying to jack me off.

It actually was fantastic, and she was really responding to my touch - as I was to hers. Her panties were soaked and I was as rough with her this time as I had been the morning before. This time I even slapped her cunt a few times, which she seemed to enjoy. We were just a nasty twisted writhing mess of limbs I suppose and I finally finished by straddling her stomach and blasting her tits with my cum. It was good and redeemed my failure the previous night. My wife lay there for a bit before getting up to clean herself up (and me).

This is not the best post, but what with the jet lag and a houseful of people it's not easy to write properly, but I figure I should get something down since I'm always going on about not getting any - it's only fair I acknowledge it when we do.

Friday, September 22, 2017

What is @missvage doing here?

via Instagram
For some reason I see her as a #naughtyschoolteacher keeping me after school for #detention πŸ€”

Clearly I'm projecting because there's nothing schoolish about the room! Maybe she's a secretary? Maybe she's the #boss trying to seduce me? Maybe this is the longest Instagram post ever? πŸ˜‚

You can find and follow @missvage by clicking the Instagram link above.

#corset #vintagestyle #stockings #garterbelt #suspenders #fantasy #babe #fetishfriday #friskyfriday

Thursday, September 21, 2017

OPP: You’re Bored?!

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous (scroll to bottom for more info)
(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "A friend of mine just wrote on his Facebook wall: "Seriously bored..." It took me aback. Bored? What do you mean bored? How can you bored? How does one have time to be bored?! In NYC of all places!! Boredom is an emotional state when you feel you have "

recovered post on Pervertically Virtuous

You're Bored?!

by Pervertically Virtuous
Bored?A friend of mine just wrote on his Facebook wall:
"Seriously bored..."
It took me aback. Bored? What do you mean bored? How can you bored? How does one have time to be bored?! In NYC of all places!!
Boredom is an emotional state when you feel you have nothing to do. But how can you run out of things to do in this world? There is so much to do out there!
I don't remember the last time I was bored. It's probably been years - long enough that I don't remember what that feels like. I suffer from the opposite problem - every single day I run out of time to do everything I want to do, never of things I want to do. There is working, writing, reading, socializing, networking, watching movies, going to the theater, visiting museums/galleries, partying, fucking, doing sports, traveling, sleeping, thinking, running errands...
If there were 48 hrs in the day, it would still not be enough to do everything I want to do.
How can one be bored?!
Pervertically Virtuous | September 21, 2013 at 11:58 pm | 
In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of P.V.'s. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.
To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Hotel Vacation Sex

Forgive me for not posting sooner but I'm on vacation and it's hard to blog when you're in Sicily with 3 other couples. Especially when you're trying to do it on an iPad and whole sentences disappear as you type. And you're jet lagged and don't really know what day it is...

As you learned  yesterday I didn't get any last week, before my wife went away on conference, and I didn't get any on the weekend when she came back either (despite her texts). We left Sunday afternoon, landed in London, flew on to Rome, and now we are in Sicily. I typed up TMI Tuesday on the hotel computer in London in the wee small hours, scheduled it, and then climbed back into bed about 7am local time.

My wife was up and dressed and also on her way to the business centre to get all her important business stuff out of the way. She returned at about 8am and I was in bed watching CNN. She saw my hand under the blanket and assumed I was doing something. I wasn't but she was making such a fuss, teasing me and asking me if she'd interrupted me jerking off (and seemingly excited by the thought) I ran with it. She asked me if I needed a little help and offered me a handjob.

I told her I wanted more than that, and that she'd promised me more than that last week. I asked her what happened to Saturday night, and she responded by telling me how tired she was after that conference.


My wife snaked her hand under the covers and found my cock. She fondled with it for a while before giving me a full on, proper hand job. I was as hard as concrete given I hadn't had any for so long.

Eventually I got up, removed my boxers, and told her to get undressed.

She did, quickly, and lay down on the bed with her legs open. I went down on her and ate her out. She came quickly. I told her to blow me and she got up and mounted me. I told her I'd wanted her to blow me, not mount me, so she crawled off and bent down and swallowed me whole - and commenced sucking my fat cock.

Okay, that was new. She was literally sucking her own juices off my dick and swallowing with gusto. That my cock is straining at my fly as I type this now should tell you how hot I think that is. I wondered what she had been doing at that all woman conference she'd been to the week before. I imagined what she'd been doing and involved my wife eating a lot of wet juicy pussy. I almost came right then but I had another idea.

I pushed her off me and mounted her from behind. I thrust a few times, a slow and steady fucking, but I was careful not to cum. When I thought I'd made my dick good and wet I pulled out and moved to the front of the bed. In front of her, still on all fours. "Suck my cock" I said, and she did. Without discussion. My wife seemed to have no problem with pussy juice this morning...?

The angle was wrong so I kind of pushed her down onto the hotel bed, flat, and started fucking her face. I had one hand under her throat, to support her head, and the other on the side, as I pushed in and out. This was new for both of us and it felt good* as I could feel my cock sliding in and out of her throat. I started thrusting faster but not roughly, and I could feel it boiling in my balls. I did not want to cum this way.

I withdrew, slapped her ass, and climbed up again behind her. She was flat on the bed facedown with her legs together so I poked my cock inside her wet cunt and started thrusting. Hard and fast. I slapped her ass a few more times and she seemed to like it. I pullled her on all fours and began pounding her in earnest. She was grunting now and telling me to smack her butt. "Yeah, yeah, fuck me" she begged.

I planted my hand on her ass one more time and got the perfect "thwack!". That was it, I was done, I came hard. Bucket loads.

We were both very happy people and snoozed for 20 minutes before heading down for breakfast.

[*she later told me it made her neck hurt, when I asked her what it felt like]

Part 2

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday. Click for more stories...

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

TMI Tuesday: September 19, 2017 ~ Relationships

1. Why would you go to a therapist?

a. You need support
b. You want to take responsibility for your life’s outcomes?

c. You need guidance and to be told what to do
~ All of the above to be honest. Well that's how I'm feeling right now. My wife sent me a text last Wednesday that indicated something was going to happen (here) and her following texts confirmed it (here). 'Wait until Saturday!' she said. Well Saturday came and she returned home from her conference and started packing for our 3 week vacation. After packing it was late and she was tired from the conference so nothing happened. I knew that when she said before we went out for dinner that she wouldn't bother having a shower, she'd just have one in the morning.. On Sunday morning nothing happened her so I never got to see her freshly shaven pussy. With a 5 day old growth now, since I did get to see it briefly as she changed. As I've said before on this blog: why does she even bother?

2. Thinking of the main male lover in your life, what is sex for him:
a. stress relief, tension reliever
b. a way to show love
c. something exciting he likes to do
~ Again, it's all of the above for me. For my wife it seems to be 'meh' on all fronts. We are currently in a fancy hotel enroute to Sicily tomorrow. My wife used to say things like 'wait till we get to our nice hotel, wouldn't you rather have sex when we're in a fancy luxury hotel?'  Well here we are, and after two hours catching up on Facebook she said she wanted to go to sleep. And she did. Now I'm awake with jetlag and blue balls.

3. Do you feel a partner is being invasive for wanting to know your plans and inner thoughts?
~ My wife is not invasive because she never asks. She has her schedule and I fit it in with it. If she wants me to come with her to something she send me an iCal invite. If I'm not going then she doesn't. We have a calendar we share so that we can both see what the other person is up to. But she doesn't always enter her plans into it so some days/nights I think she's free for something spontaneous - at which point I'm told "oh no, I have a thing on then" and "isn't it in the diary?"

4. In your opinion, what is intimate sharing?
~ Telling you partner what is truly happening in your life or going through your head. Maybe it's the blue balls talking but my wife needs to come clean about our sex life. If she doesn't want to have sex with me then she needs to admit it and not keep stringing me along. If she does want to have sex with me then she needs to admit what the issues are, so that we can work on it together. My wife does not open up where it counts, she always keeps her true feelings hidden. She often says (to me) that I'm the only one who knows what she's truly like, that I am her confessor. Yes, but just as she keeps a side hidden from others I know she's keeping a side hidden from me.
5. Would you enjoy a weekend by yourself, without the company of your partner? Where would you go? What would you do?
~ We'll find out in 3 weeks because our 3 week vacation was actually a 4 week vacation but a month ago my wife changed her plans. She's coming home a week early and I'm staying on because we have a 4 week lease deal on a car we can't break and changing the business class air tickets had a big penalty and I have family in Europe we were visiting for that last 10 days so I guess I'm staying on? This is a first for us (travelling apart) (albeit only for the final week) although she has been off on many 'business conferences' on her own. Like the one last week.

Bonus: Would you buy an outfit that you love, knowing that your partner will hate it? Then would you wear it as well?
~ I have in the past but as I get older I have accepted that I can't dress like the streetwise cool dude from my youth. Maybe if I was slimmer I could pull it off but now I just look like a tragic 50+ white male clinging to the old days. :)

Double Bonus: plenty of links above to check out... but here's a pic of what I had hoped to be doing by now:


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 18, 2017

I love the oiled look. And a great ass.

I am in transit to Rome for the start of my European Vacation (#blessed!) so you may see a lot of posts like this over the next three weeks - my Instagram posts. 'Filler' is what they call them in the content publishing business! At least you will get an insight into my pervy tastes - as cliche as they may be. Feel free to pass scathing judgements or comments as you see fit, I won't mind. 

We'll start with this one... I've never actually had oily sex (my wife thinks it will be too messy) but it's been a fantasy of mine for a very long time. The thought of two oiled naked bodies... writhing together... all slippery and slidey ... mmmmm! 

I guess our first exposure to porn really does imprint on us for the rest of our lives, right? Does that explain why so many Playboy bunnies cite finding their father's illicit stash of magazine's when they were young as their motivation for wanting to be in Playboy? (Which might just be a myth Hugh Hefner created, since who really knows if what they say is really what they said?)

~ Nero

via Instagram

I love the oiled look. And a great ass. This babe has got it all, she's on fire! Happy hump day!! 😜

Let me say that again with hashtags:

I ❤️ the #oiled look. And a great #ass. This #babe has got it all, she's on πŸ”₯ #happyhumpday #humpday #datass #butt #bΓΆΓΆty #bootyfordays #red #lingerie #sexylingerie #lingeriemodel #babes #babesofinstagram #toomanyhashtags

Find and follow @missashleydenisee on Instagram.


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday. Click for more stories...

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Sunday Service or Sinful Sunday?

via Instagram

Gotta love a #nun in #rubber or #latex #fetish #babe

(And if you haven't already realized... my Instagram posts automatically cross-post to this blog)

Saturday, September 16, 2017

What Kindleporn did my wife buy?

This post was left in drafts and is a month old. But since my wife has me running around today doing errands for her (in preparation for our Sunday departure to Europe) while she is at an overseas conference it makes a good post to 'fill the gap'. Because... 

I've been reading a few other sex bloggers lately (female) and they've been commenting about how they got bored with their vanilla sex lives and went for something with a little more kink involved. Often with a new partner, and sometimes ditching their husbands to do so. 

I've told my wife I'm open to trying new kinky things, since I know she reads those stories, but she says its just fantasy stuff and she doesn't want to do it in real life. I wonder if it's really because she doesn't see me as the type of man that could match the Alpha men in those stories she reads. 

We will have many hours stuck in a rental car together as we drive across Europe over the next three weeks (our daughter is staying home) so I plan to ask her some hard questions about what she wants our sex life to be like. Sending me those pussy selfie shots on Wednesday night was a new thing so I'd like to see what else she's willing to try.

If anyone has read any of these books by all means give us a mini-review in the comments below. If any of you feel like being an amatuer pop psychologist for the day then tell us what the title choices might mean. She wants it rough, with a big black cock?

You saw what she searched for. Here's what she actually purchased:

Friday, September 15, 2017

What does my wife mean by this? ~ Part Three

Okay, this will be a short post - just a follow up to the previous ones. On Wednesday morning my wife flew out for a conference but sent me a text that hinted that a naughty pic was coming my way later that night [Part 1].  She did send me the pic but I didn't see it until two hours after she'd sent it - by which time she was tired and going to sleep. I tried to get something going [see Part 2] but ultimately failed (although I did get a second pussy pic out of her).

So I was hopeful that we would be able to get together last night and 'do it right'. I was looking forward to some dirty text talking with my wife and maybe another picture or two. The problem was, I could see on Facebook that she was at some fancy dinner so who knew how long that could go on for?!

Luckily it was all over by 11pm and my wife was headed back to her room. She texted me when she got there and I replied:

[1]                                                                          [2]

[3]                                                                          [4]


And that was was that! The whole conversation took 20-30 minutes because there were long breaks before she replied to me. And I knew why too - she was on Facebook! I had my laptop open while I was texting her and everytime she seemed to have 'disappeared' I would look at my laptop and see she was liking and commenting on people's Facebook posts!

Clearly she was not in a sexy mood!

I tried my best (even using emojis, like she does in her texts to other people - including men) (but she didn't use any for me!) but it wasn't happening so I said goodnight.

And then I saw her liking and commenting on people's Facebook posts for another hour!

She was probably sexting This Guy....!

Thursday, September 14, 2017

What does my wife mean by this? ~ Part Two

In yesterday's post I shared a text my wife sent me that had me wondering if my wife was going to sext me a naughty pic. I was also wondering if she had sent me the text in error since it came out of nowhere and didn't fit the flow of the conversation. Which of course only raises the question "if it wasn't for me, who was it for?"

Well, color me surprised but she did send pics!

Unfortunately fate intervened to prevent any naughty sexting. I waited until 11.30pm before giving up... and... she sent them at 11.35pm.

I never saw them so never replied. I finally saw them at 1am but bythen she had given up and was going to bed. She was tired from her early morning flight and a long first day at the conference.

[1]                                                                             [2]

[3]                                                                             [4]

So, it didn't really go anywhere but it was a start! Baby steps Nero, baby steps!! We'll see if I can rustle up some 'romance' tonight...!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Wicked Wednesday ~ What does my wife mean by this?

In yesterday's post TMI Tuesday: September 12, 2017 ~ It's a good week... I was asked a question, to which I answered:

Q2. Will you have sex today? This week?
~ Who knows? It is in the lap of the gods a.k.a. my wife. Tomorrow she flies off for a 3 day conference, returning Saturday. Then on Sunday we fly to Europe for 3 weeks. She hinted at something last Saturday but nothing happened. Maybe we'll have sex tonight so she doesn't have to worry about me sleeping with prostitutes because I haven't had any for so long (that's her self professed fear) or maybe she'll figure I can wait until Saturday night. Past history indicates she'll wait until Saturday and then on Saturday decide it can wait until we're in a hotel room in Italy.

Well, this morning I had to get up early to fly her to the airport. When I got home she was boarding her flight (to foreign soil*) and sent me the following text. She asked me (not shown) if the traffic going home was as bad as it was driving out to the airport, and thanked me for the ride. I answered:

WTF? What does this mean? Is she for the first time in her life going to send me a naughty photo? What would have brought this on? I'm so confused!

I can't believe she would... but if she does... come back tomorrow and I'll update this post!!

UPDATE (Thursday Morning) ~ Well, color me surprized but she did send pics! Unfortunately fate intervened to prevent any naughty sexting. I waited until 11.30pm before giving up - she sent them at 11.35pm but I never saw them so never replied. I finally saw them at 1am but she had given up and was going to bed. She was tired from her early morning flight and a long first day at the conference.


*This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday 

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

TMI Tuesday: September 12, 2017 ~ It's a good week to...

Okay, this is a little more depressing than I intended. My life aint that bad - I'm off to Europe this weekend!

1. What is your reality?
~ I am a bird in a gilded cage.

2. Will you have sex today? This week?
~ Who knows? It is in the lap of the gods a.k.a. my wife. Tomorrow she flies off for a 3 day conference, returning Saturday. Then on Sunday we fly to Europe for 3 weeks. She hinted at something last Saturday but nothing happened. Maybe we'll have sex tonight so she doesn't have to worry about me sleeping with prostitutes because I haven't had any for so long (that's her self professed fear) or maybe she'll figure I can wait until Saturday night. Past history indicates she'll wait until Saturday and then on Saturday decide it can wait until we're in a hotel room in Italy.

3. What did you hate doing this past weekend?
~ Arguing with my wife over why she tipped an Uber driver. "Because it was a $9 fare!" she said, "he can't live on $9 fares!" Well, if he gets 10 of those short fares in an hour he's doing okay IMO. What is the point of Uber if we go back to paying taxicab prices?

4. What did you love doing this past weekend?
Getting flirty in the changing room... was a fun diversion. It felt like the old days.

5. Which new technology have you found most helpful in your life? Which do you find to be the most annoying?
~ Not really new but what would do without the internet? You can look/search/read/buy anything online now. Most annoying is that all of these sites pretty much force you to 'register' with them now (usually via Facebook) which also entitles them to all your data (read the fine print). And then there are those annoying 'notifications' and e-mails they keep firing at you.

Bonus: Go do last week’s TMI questions that were posted on Friday. Great questions!
~ Yes H, but I only found this list today. I did look last Wednesday and last Thursday (hence my lazy Instagram posts that day just in case TMI was posted) but by last Friday I had given up. But the questions are good so I shall post them on Thursday. TMI Thursday if you will.

Bonus Bonus:~ Since I didn't get any action at the weekend see this old post: Replay: Friday Night Mutual Masturbation


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 11, 2017

Replay: Friday Night Mutual Masturbation

Today's post is an excerpt from one originally posted on May 16, 2016. You can read the full story here.

"Cum on my butt" she said, as she flopped down beside me, face down and ass up. Her movement was urgent and the hand under her body (and on her clit) betrayed her intentions. She was still driven by lust and was chasing her second orgasm. Only too willing to oblige I pushed her legs apart and kneeled behind her, pointing my fat cock in her direction. I was rock hard and ready to cum myself. 
She was moaning into the mattress for a minute or two before she removed the hand from her pussy and, together with her other hand, reached back and pulled both butt cheeks apart. "Cum in my ass crack" she implored, "fill it with your hot sticky mess" 
I grabbed her by the hips and pulled her up and into the doggy position. I placed the tip of my dripping cock against her starfish and continued jacking - hard and fast. "I'm gonna cum" I warned her. 
"Yeah, do it" she grunted, freeing one hand so she could resume slapping her cunt while the other gripped her butt to keep her asshole exposed. "Do it, shoot that hot spunk right up my nasty hole" 
I loved it when she talked dirty and I couldn't hold back. Hot jets of cum sprayed forth, firing directly into her butt crack. "Oh my god' she gasped, as I kept pumping and the juice kept flying "oh god... so much". She collapsed forward onto the bed and clamped her legs shut, clenching her butt cheeks and holding the warm cum tight in her crack as I too fell to my own side of the bed. 
"Mmmmm" she purred, as she did a little shimmy on the sheets "that was goooood!"

[much more here


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday. Click for more stories...

Friday, September 8, 2017

@alysky for #fetishfriday πŸ”₯

via Instagram

The mood I'm in this is what I need this weekend - a woman like this to... well... let's just say I'm in a funny mood. 😬

And yes, I'm aware she's 'just' a model so I don't mean her specifically - but look at that attitude she's projecting!

#friskyfriday #fetishmodel #leather #rubber #stockings #suspenders #mesh #fetish #latexfetish #sexylingerie #fantasy #outofmyleague

Thursday, September 7, 2017

The one and only Dita Von Teese πŸ”₯

via Instagram

The one and only @ditavonteese x3!!! πŸ”₯
#Blonde, #brunette, or #redhead - which look do you think is best? πŸ€”
Find and follow the original @ditavonteeselingerie πŸ‘€©

#burlesque #showgirl #vintage #corset #ditavonteese #ditavonteeselingerie #legs #heels #butt #fetishmodel #thirstythursday

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Sex in Public

My wife and I had sex on a picnic blanket once, in a public park. It happened after dark on Valentines Day, back when we were in our twenties. I have no idea what spurred my wife to do it, but it was probably all the wine and that it was dark and that other couples in the vicinity were possibly doing it as well.

Seriously, the park was packed with couples at twilight, all enjoying their champagne picnic dinner, and then two hours later my wife was straddling my dick and riding me slowly and slyly - as if no-one could figure out what she was doing. We weren't more than twenty feet away from other couples on their picnic blankets and whether they were also fucking or just canoodling I couldn't tell, it was that dark.

Anyway, this couple in Hackney, a suburb in London, England couldn't keep their horny selves off each other. They just had to have one more fuck before they boarded the train to go to work. At 7.15am! Watch and be amazed by their brazen lust....!!


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday even though it does not meet this week's prompt. 
Unless you count the Hackney couple as not making eye contact with the people watching them..

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

TMI Tuesday: September 5th 2017 ~ Replay

I'm currently waiting for today's TMI Tuesday to arrive. In case it doesn't... enjoy this instead, from September 6th, 2016.

from the Red Carpet at the Venice Film Festival - a little too TMI?

1. What was one of the best parties you’ve attended?
~ Wow, I've been to plenty! Honestly, I have - but at my age that's not unusual, right? The best parties are always with a great bunch of diverse people but what pushes them over the edge is having a great/unique location. A roof top party in Manhattan is always a blast. The best party I can recall would have to be the 'private party' I went to at the McKittrick Hotel a year ago. It featured the cast of 'Sleep No More' but it was more of an all out rave dance party than the theatrical 'immersive' MacBeth show I think everyone else gets

2. What is your first memory of being really excited?
~ Nothing beats losing your virginity as far as I'm concerned. It was awful, but fantastic at the same time. Or should I say, I was awful but it was fantastic?

3. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?
~ Clothes. Fancy fashionable clothes that told the girls in High School I was no longer dressed by my mother. Followed by a car, which told the girls in High School I was no longer driving my family's car.

4. What story does your family always tell about you?
~ None stick out. But my mother used to always latch on to whatever girl I took home as if she was going to be a future daughter-in-law and dig out the Family Album and then go through the photos and tell the story behind each one. This made me disinclined to bring girls home because [a] it was embarrassing (they'd only just met), and [b] I already knew I had no long term plans with the girl.

5. At what age did you become an adult?
~ Hard to say. I didn't officially leave home until I was 21, although I was fairly self sufficient well before then. I started buying my own clothes at 15 and bought my first car at 17. It wasn't a cheap clunker either. I started going on adult sleepovers from about 19 - "you treat this place like a hotel" cried my mother, who didn't want me to leave home until I was 30.

Bonus: Do you often subscribe to new comments/replies on blogs? Or do you manually go back to see if someone has responded to what you wrote?
~ I never subscribe but I do comment on other people's blogs. Unless there is a complicated 'log-in-to-comment' process, in which case I don't bother (ie if I have to 'register'). If I comment I might usually go back and see if it's been responded to. Often it hasn't - but I've been guilty of missing a comment made on my own blog too (so sorry about that!)
What I have noticed in the last few years is that almost no-one bothers to comment any more and even established mainstream sites don't bother with a comments section now. For them it's too hard to moderate, and it's much easier to let readers comment via social media by cross-posting/linking to Facebook et al. This makes it very hard for small fry bloggers like ourselves to get any traction with what we're doing, since when you discover a new blog but see no comments you presume it's a dead blog.

DOUBLE BONUS: You missed this! Who else's wife has taken them to a strip club? How did it turn out?

TRIPLE BONUS [2017]: You also missed Saturday Night Sex Surprise yesterday because it was posted late. 

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!: