Monday, October 9, 2017
One night in ... Amsterdam
It turns out my wife had also made plans. She’s a member of BNG (‘Business Networking Group’)which is global and has a branch in Amsterdam. So one of their guys (it’s always a guy) had kindly invited us to meet for drinks at 5.30, followed by dinner at a fancy restaurant at 7pm, and then more drinks at a rooftop bar.
Which meant I had to adjust my plans.
Which means after a late lunch we were wandering down a lane that I knew had some sex shops in it. Because 5 years earlier I’d been in Amsterdam, solo, and bought my wife a Fun Factory vibrator from there. A vibe that’s brought her a great deal of pleasure since, I might add.
street lane had changed. It had gone more upmarket and now hosted major brands like H&M and Zara. I did manage to find one Sex shop, at the very end of the lane, and they too had moved upmarket. It was a very classy fit out, which was good because my wife doesn’t like sleazy Sex shops.
So I said “let’s go in here, I want to buy you something” and she said “whaaaat?” but walked inside with me anyway. It was a big store but tastefully laid out. My wife walked in, moved around the table at the front of the store displaying sexy designer t-shirts, and then circled back towards the door.
“C’mon!” I said, “we haven’t seen anything yet”
“We’ve already got enough toys” she said, “I don’t need any more, I’m fine”.
“How do you know unless you look?” I said, leading her down the back of the store, away from the open front entrance since I guess (despite the odds) she was worried someone she might know might see her. In Amsterdam.
My wife’s curiosity took over and soon she was perusing the shelves and marvelling at the wide array of pleasure devices on display. I showed her the dildos but she baulked at the thought. They ranged in size from 6” to 12” and I assured her she could choose whatever size she wanted. “Wouldn’t you like something a little different from me?” I suggested, “just for variety?”
Again my wife assured me she was fine the way things were, and repeated that she felt the three vibes we had were enough. I pointed out we never used the We-vibe anymore (because it doesn’t function that well) and besides, maybe she’d like to try a wand or a g-spot massager? Like the ones on the shelf in front of us?
My wife said “No - but what about something for you?” and pointed at some strange object on the shelf to the left. It was the ‘Verge’ by We-vibe and was a vibrating cock ring. “Wouldn’t you like one of these, you could use it when you jerk off while I’m away?” she teased. I wasn’t sure if she meant ‘away on one of her business trips’ or ‘out for the day’ but either way the device looked intriguing.
It vibrated and I could see how it would work for both of us.
I was sold, almost. The price was 99€ ($120) but we were in the fancy part of town. I figured it would be cheaper if we crossed the canal to the Red Light district, where most of the Sex shops were. Besides, maybe more shops over that side would have more variety ie something to interest my wife? They didn’t.
The area was packed with tourists like ourselves, mostly couples looking furtively at illicit items, together with single men (in small groups) who had arrived way too early for the prostitutes to come out. Those windows don’t open until after dark.
Unfortunately the Sex shops on this side of town were mostly tacky joints aimed at the tourist crowd. They sold cheap knock offs of the famous brands, and any good brand were actually 20% more expensive than the other shop we’d just come from. I guess they made more profit on the cheap stuff so overpriced the good stuff on purpose.
I think we looked in three or four shops full of cheap poorly made slutwear before deciding to head back to the other side. Besides, we had 30 minutes until we were meant to meet the Dutch guy for drinks and it was on our way. So we bought the item, and continued on to the old pub he’d given us directions to.
Along the way my wife, on a whim, stopped in an expensive department store and bought a handbag for 1800€ ($2120). I’ll leave it to the pop psychologists out there to explain what that meant. Honestly, the whole trip she’d had plenty of opportunities to buy a hand bag (Rome, Florence, Milan) but always said she didn’t need any more (she bought expensive shoes instead, because a woman can never have enough of those) but now she buys one in Amsterdam. It’s hardly the fashion capital of Europe.
Anyway this made us late to meet the guy (my wife had to claim her sales tax back, since we were tourists, which took ages) and we didn’t get there until 5.45pm. Which didn’t matter because dinner wasn’t at 7pm now, it was 8pm. Which meant I had a long night ahead of me.
We drank lots of Heineken in really small glasses (why not just order a big glass?) and then made our way to dinner. It was a really cool restaurant, 20 floor’s up, and it revolved. We got a 360 degree view of Amsterdam, which was great because there’s really more to it than the old buildings and canals most tourists only see as they’re dropped off in the city center.
Our Dutch host had paid for the drinks at the bar so when he took a bathroom break after dessert my wife told me to go and pay for dinner. I did, but I was a little shocked at the price. 600€ ($700) for the three of us, which included one bottle of wine and a Jack & Coke for me. It was a set meal with a set price so the dude must have known when he booked it. Maybe that’s why he took off to the bathroom?
When he came back he suggested we go upstairs to the roof top bar for more (expensive) drinks, so we did. Given the price of the meal, which he knew I’d paid for, I was surprised when he suggested I get the first round. Maybe he thought he’d done his part by paying for all those beers at the beginning of the night? Maybe he was miffed because I hadn’t fought hard enough when I offered to pay half (he’d brought a friend for that part of the night) and he insisted on paying for it all?
Anyway, there was no second round because it was now 12.30am, it was our last night in Amsterdam, and I was keen to see the Red Light District. I was also keen to get back to the hotel room and try out that sex toy we’d bought. But by the time we got to ground level it was starting to rain lightly, which put paid to wandering the lanes of the Red Light District. So we said our goodbyes to our host and jumped in a cab and headed back to our hotel.
What happened in the Hotel, with the Sex toy, I’ll leave for Wednesday (since tomorrow is TMI Tuesday)...
[Spoiler alert: in searching for an image for this post I discovered we were using it wrong! Not that it mattered!! 😁]
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