Friday, November 17, 2017

Remembering an Ex on Fetish Friday

(This is a model, not my ex GF)

I posted this to Instagram for Fetish Friday but it didn't cross-post here. I guess Blogger are blocking the app that does the cross posting for me. 

I wanted to share it because I think she's beautiful, and she reminds me of a girl I dated in High School. We never had sex (we were too young) but I was besotted with her for a while. Then I saw her kissing other guys at parties, which she denied. After I broke up with her she denied we'd ever been dating - apparently we were 'just friends'. 

Decades later we were at a school reunion and she again denied that we were ever dating. And while she seemed genuine and sincere in her statement it was so damned weird because I know we were boyfriend/girlfriend. I did not imagine it. We made dates, I picked her up, we went to the movies, we made out in the car afterwards. We talked on the phone a lot, saw each other every day at school and hung out together - that is dating in my book!


The whole relationship lasted probably six weeks (a long time at our High School, what with all that teen drama and hormones). I know we were boyfriend/girlfriend because when I told her I was breaking up with her because I was going to see another girl I liked she started crying and told me not to do it, and to stick with her. And like a fool, I did. 

Next weekend she was making out with some other guy at a party, and he became her new boyfriend. I can't say 'new' because that would imply I was the 'old' boyfriend - and who am I to dare tamper with history?

Thursday, November 16, 2017

21 Things I Hate About Me

21 Things I Hate About Me was almost the title to Monday's post What happens when I don't get enough sex? but at the last minute I changed it, and then once it was published I thought "Damn! I shoulda stuck with the original title!" So I thought I'd use it for today's post (originally titled Lots to Think About - yeah, I know!) since it is a companion piece to Mondays post. I didn't want to call it What happens when I don't get enough sex? - Part Two because it's not really a continuation (and it's as lame as Lots to Think About).

But you probably should read What happens when I don't get enough sex? at some stage, if only to see the video I refer to in today's post. (Assuming you're not interested in seeing which 21 Things I Hate About Me).  Anyway, we finished Part One (which is not really Part One, because remember: today's post is just a companion piece - definitely not Part Two!) at this next part....

Anyway, for some reason I decided to share the linked video with one of my Twitter followers (via DM) because I thought she might like it:
Here’s a vid you guys can watch. It's a series of vignettes and given you like your man in charge you should probably start at 18’45. Or not. I haven’t watched the whole thing myself so I don’t know how extreme it gets. I just like the dress up! I’ve always been a fan of Andrew Blake’s art direction, and this copies that perfectly. Have a great day.
It was only when I got her one word reply ("Ohhhh") that I realized I'd just sent the equivalent of an unsolicited dick pic. I genuinely thought she (and her partner) might like it (she's a sex blogger, unafraid of the odd spanking) but then I wondered if this was how Weinstein and CK started on their dark path. Louis CK said he thought it was okay to masturbate in front of women because he always asked first.

I hadn't even asked, I'd just assumed it was okay.

As one complainant explained, Louis CK is a comedian and when he asks if he can jerk off in your presence you assume he's joking so you say "yeah, sure".  That is not real consent. Apparently CK would jerk off in from of them, or behind the door in the apartment bathroom. If it was the first one the women would say "Ew!" and leave, and if it was the latter the women would say "What's he doing behind that door? Is he...? OMFG! - Ew!" and leave.

Where am I going with this? I dunno.

I do know I'm not really in any danger of following Weinstein, CK, et al down some rabbit hole into depravity. Women should know that the #MeToo campaign really has made men think twice about how they interact with women (well, at least the men on my circle). I'm not sure how that will affect singles out there, but I'm sure we'll muddle through - our species has managed to co-habitate for thousands of years.

My wife said she could have posted that hashtag but decided against it. She said every woman has probably had a few #MeToo incidents in their life because "that's just how men are - they all want their egos stroked - or to fuck you". She said her and some of her friends had decided long ago that all men want/need is a warn hole to stick their dicks into and they're happy. "And they're not that discerning" she added, "they'll literally fuck anything."

High praise indeed for the male gender.

Apparently the worst scorn is reserved for men who are not in their league and yet still try it on. "It's the guys who are a 'six' or a 'seven' who are most likely to try and use their power over you to get with you - when we are 'eights' or 'nines'!!" explained my wife. It did make me wonder how she would react if a 'ten' hit on her, but I kept those thoughts to myself. My wife said that when guys got too 'handsie' (at a bar/function) she would start talking about me, to let them know she was married. She said often it had no initial effect but she'd keep talking about me and eventually they figured it out.

Which is nice to hear, but in the four years she's been a member of BNG (Business Networking Group) I've seen plenty of guys put their hands around her, give her a little hug, maybe a little kiss, maybe even a squeeze on the butt - but all done so quickly it's over before you can think "what's this guy doing?"  Unless they're drunk, in which case their arm remains gripped around her waist as they pull her close and loudly tell the circle what a great and awesome businesswoman my wife is.

The worst times have been when my wife was also drunk and would just stand there, letting these guys paw all over her. When she seemed to enjoy the attention and would join in with the 'locker room' talk. My wife has been less enamored with all that lately and has switched her focus to mentoring women-centric business groups. She says she's just not interested in being a part of the Boys Club anymore. "Those guys are dinosaurs, and they don't even know it. They'll be extinct soon"

If you're thinking "why did you let all those guys paw your wife Nero? why didn't you do something?" the answer is similar to that given by the people who knew what Harvey Weinstein was doing but said or did nothing. There was no way to confront these guys behavior without embarrassing my wife and/or damaging her 'career'. Firstly these are high powered high profile businessmen, and they'd be the first to throw up their hands and say "Whoa, steady on, I wasn't doing anything, we're all friends here, that's all".

Secondly it would diminish my wife's power if I 'created a scene'. Her status of high powered high profile businesswoman would be reduced to 'woman with hysterical husband'. For me to intervene would mean my wife was incapable of defending herself, and if you want to be a leader you need to be seen as being able to fight your own battles and handle your own shit. Besides, I would discuss it with my wife on the way home and she would insist the guys were harmless and she could handle them.

That was in the early years - now she's a little more scathing of their behaviors and less likely to put up with it. I think she's probably a bit more jaded now, after experiencing it for four years.

Anyway, let's wrap up this post with something that I said on Monday that might have come across wrong. In What happens when I don't get enough sex? I said:

#12: ....The reason I will be mad at her is because she would have fobbed me off with the promise of 'not now, later' and I fell for it.

I'm fully aware that my wife is not my sexbot and is not required to have sex with me just because I want to. But... well... let's say your wife knows how much you love waffles, and she loves making you waffles. So then it kinda becomes a thing where every Saturday morning she cooks up some waffles and for years you enjoy them together. And then the day comes when she decides she's not going to have any waffles, but she's made you some and tells you to enjoy them. So you do.

And then the day comes when one Saturday morning you ask "are you making waffles?" and she says "Nah, maybe later" so you skip breakfast thinking you'll both be enjoying waffles for a late brunch. By lunchtime you're really hungry but your wife then says "I'm not making waffles, maybe I'll make some tomorrow morning." But of course on Sunday morning she still doesn't feel like making waffles.

The same thing happens the following weekend, except on Sunday she sleeps in, gets up late and tells you she's going to make you some waffles. You tell her you don't want any because you woke up early and was really really hungry for waffles so you made them yourself. And then ate them all up and now you're full and couldn't possibly eat any more. So then your wife gets all pouty and says she would have made you waffles if only you'd asked, since she had no idea you wanted waffles so badly.

And then she goes back to her room and looks at pictures of other men eating waffles all day on her iPad, imagining what it would be like to make waffles for those guys. Pretty soon she spends so much time on that iPad imagining waffle brunches with all those men, creating lavish menus in her head (strawberries! whipped cream! chocolate syrup!) that she has no desire to make actual waffles because that just means the kitchen is messy afterwards and is it really worth the fuss?

Okay, maybe I'm over exaggerating a little. My wife does still make me waffles from time time. Just not like she used to. I can make my own waffles, if only she'd stop saying she's going make them later for me...

(Yes, waffles is a metaphor for sex)

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Who’s ready for #wickedwednesday?

via Instagram

Who’s ready for #wickedwednesday ? This gal is! Personally I'm not a fan of ball gags, but the rest of the outfit looks fun. She looks like she's dressed up to give someone a tease/surprise.

#humpday #fetish #BDSMlite

OOPS! A bit of SNAFU on the scheduled posts front. The post I promised on Monday would be here today will now be here... tomorrow! a.k.a Thursday. I know you're bitterly disappointed because you've been hanging on my every word. In the meantime, in preparation for tomorrows post check out Monday's post here (if you missed it) because they are related.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

TMI Tuesday: November 14, 2017: ~ Self Care

Outside of regular hygiene activities – bathing, brushing teeth, hair care - let’s talk about what you do for self-care. (Self-care being activities and practices that you do on a regular basis to reduce stress and maintain and enhance your short-term and longer-term health and well-being. Source:

1. Have you ever had a professional massage? If yes, what type? If no, why not?
~ Yes, plenty of times. And I'm having one on Thursday. They're usually with my wife (when she can't find a BFF spa buddy) or while we are on vacation. I always ask for the basic massage because I don't want anything too hard or painful. I just want to relax, which I do to the point of sometimes falling asleep. Because of the sensual nature of the massage (yes these are still 'straight' massages I'm talking about!) I always request a female masseuse. I can't relax properly when a man is rubbing his oily hands up my inner thigh. My wife thinks I'm crazy.

2. Do you engage in the following? Tell us all that apply and how often you do it.
a. yoga
b. tai chi
c. float therapy
d. run/jog
e. workout – any that isn’t actually training for something but is for physical fitness maintenance

f. other – what?
~ I did Pilates for almost a year, at my wife's insistence (she paid for it), but it did nothing for me so I stopped. All I do now is walking (for exercise).

3. How many hours of sleep do you average on a weeknight? Weekend?
Do you think you need more or less sleep?
~ I definitely need more sleep. I usually go to bed at about 1-2 am, which I know is not good. Especially if I'm waking up at 6-7am again (see yesterdays post for the reason why). I'm a light sleeper and I'm usually woken up by 8am at the latest, even if I'm trying to sleep in on the weekend. Once I'm awake I'm awake, so I get up.

4. Which of the following are you most likely to add to your self-care routine and stick with it?
a. Schedule in a planner daily “me time”
b. Acupuncture
c. Take a moment at the end of each day and consciously list a few good things in your life.
d. Turn off phone and step away from computer/tablet for 4 hours a day
~ After yesterdays post I resolved to definitely take a little 'me time' more often. And I did exactly that before starting today's post. I was going to leave it until after I'd completed this post (as a 'reward') but then I thought "F#$% it!!" and decided I was more important!

5. What do you do for self-care either physically, spiritually or emotionally?
~ I try not to get stressed, which may seem odd coming from me after yesterdays post but I really do. I'm no scientist, but I think stress gives you cancer (or allows the cells to grow and not be killed).

Bonus: Today, make sure you give yourself some love–self-care.
~ see #4 above - already done and dusted!

Double Bonus: Apparently no-one could see me in this! It’s #fetishfriday ☠️ can you see me in something ... 

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 13, 2017

TPGMO: What happens when I don't get enough sex?

This porno got me off - check out the tag TPGMO for more

The key to improving oneself is to recognize patterns of behavior and correct when necessary. I'm not sure if I need any correcting but I am recognizing a pattern. It's taken a while but I'm finally recognizing what's been going on (incrementally) for the last 20 years:

  1. When my wife's period is due she secretes pheromones that make me especially horny
  2. When my wife's period is due she starts reading a lot of dirty stories on her kindle
  3. When my wife's period is due she is horny and receptive to sex but (as we've she's got older) it is a very small window and if I wish to open that window I must time it carefully
  4. When my wife's period is due I am especially horny and desperately want to have sex with her. Failing that I want to masturbate.
  5. If I think I might be having sex with her within the next 2-3 days I don't masturbate, which just makes me even hornier.
  6. During those 2-3 days I will flirt with particular women on my (real world) social media accounts i.e. women who are receptive to my flirting. I don't let it go too far (nor do they) but I presume I get the same frisson as my wife does when reading her dirty stories?
  7. During those 2-3 days I will start looking at a lot of sexually explicit images on Tumblr (which I don't normally do) and start downloading them to my iPad. I can't do anything with these images because Instagram (and other social) don't allow nipple shots, bare butts, or nudes. 
  8. So collecting these images from Instagram (which I can't utilize) has clearly become a ritual/fetish as a prelude to masturbation for me.
  9. If I manage to have sex with my wife it will likely be quite good, and possibly a little dirty. (As in dirty sex, not period sex)
  10. If we haven't had sex for some time the sex will be rougher, ruder, and more animalistic. Not romantic.
  11. If I don't get to have sex with my wife it will be because my timing was off and her period has already started. Which makes me angry at myself (for not picking up the signals) and at her (because she never initiates).
  12. I will also be angry at myself (and her) because I could have @#$%ing jerked off earlier that day/yesterday but didn't because I thought we might be having sex (yes, I am a petulant child at this point). The reason I will be mad at her is because she would have fobbed me off with the promise of 'not now, later' and I fell for it. 
  13. I am now 'free' to masturbate without guilt, but now I'm angry: I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. If I'd done it sooner I wouldn't be in this position i.e. feeling like a desperate old horndog because I had the temerity to want to make love to my wife.
  14. I am now 'free' to masturbate without guilt, but now I'm angry so I gravitate to hardcore fetish/BDSM porn on sites like PornHub and YouPorn. Not the extreme stuff (woman crying in pain, in tears because she can't take it anymore) but the 'genuine' stuff i.e. women in true fetishwear using proper toys and implements i.e. not Playmates dressed in something from the 'fetish' section of Fredericks of Hollywood* tickling each other with feather dusters.
  15. If I'm less angry I'll watch anal porn i.e. something where the man is in the dominant position and the woman is submissive. Pop psychologists can make of that what they will!
  16. Lest you're now creating a mental image of me as Louis CK here, I will say that in whatever porn clips I watch (anal or fetish/BDSM) the woman is always a willing (and happy) participant. I actually recoil from videos where the woman is clearly not into it. [Which is why I can't fathom why/how Weinstein and CK could get off doing what they did, but I digress]
  17. So when I do finally get some 'alone time' to masturbate (not easy when you have a wife and daughter in the same house) it is either good or bad. 
  18. If it's good I have a great orgasm and my blue balls are emptied. The stress washes away. 
  19. If it's bad my blue balls are emptied but the orgasm itself was minimal, because I was angry and not in a good headspace. I'm just as stressed after as I was before. 
  20. There have been many times (in my long marriage) when I've had a massive ejaculation but a fleeting orgasm.
  21. So I guess it's true: your brain really is your biggest sex organ.

And so it was I found myself wide awake very early on Saturday morning - something I've also realized is a side effect of having 'blue balls'. Despite a thoroughly enjoyable Friday night (she met her BFF for drinks at 5pm, her BFF gushed about me being the perfect guy and why couldn't she find a man like me, I joined them for diner, we all had ice-cream afterwards**) when we got home and I kissed and cuddled my wife (no, there was no pawing or groping) I was shot down immediately with "my period has started, you're not getting any so don't work yourself up, sorry"

So I checked my social media accounts, imagined some of my favorite sex bloggers naked (some I didn't have to, since some do like to tweet their naughty nudes), and then decided I better 'get the job done' before my wife and child woke up. So I went to and there at the top of the page was a video they recommended for me. It's the same one as I've embedded at the top of this page. I skipped through the first few 'scenes' before hitting the 25'30 mark, which showed a women in a swing, playing with herself. That caught my attention so I stopped and watched that bit and then two guys turned up (in the video!) and the heat turned up even further.

I don't know what the next scene is (in fact there's a whole hour left to go) because I {ahem} didn't need to watch anymore. My orgasm was 'average' because just as I got close I could hear my wife coming downstairs from the bedroom. Luckily I was in the office in the basement and she stopped briefly in the kitchen, but you wouldn't believe how many times this happens. It's like she has a sixth sense when I'm masturbating, and knows when to cock block me.

Me masturbating creates a quandary for her.

She knows that she herself doesn't want to have sex with me, and she knows I need some relief or I go nutso - but then she also begrudges me masturbating because it's a version of cheating because I'm looking at images of other women i.e. not her. I swear, it's some sort of warped jealousy. And yet it's not like I have a particular liking for a particular pornstar. I'm not the type of dude who fans pornstars on social and visits them at Sexpo/Eroticon etc.

Anyway, for some reason I decided to share the above video with one of my Twitter followers (via DM) because I thought she might like it. But that's a whole other story, which I'll save for Wednesday Thursday (since tomorrow is TMI Tuesday)!


* It's been a very long time since I've been into Fredericks of Hollywood so maybe they have the 'proper' fetishwear there now?

** My wife eating ice cream is a dead giveaway that's she having her period ("I'm bloated already so what does it matter now if I eat this?!") so I should have realized then.


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday. Click the link for stories hotter than this one!

Sunday, November 12, 2017


 via Instagram

And check out May’s contribution to the Sinful Sunday meme too [here] she looks spectacular!

[NB: this post was rescheduled from last Sunday due to the Texas church shooting]

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Teacher Sex: Jaclyn McLaren

I have a prurient interest in criminal cases involving female teachers and young students. I know these are sex crimes but a double standard does exist IMO. Societally we all know it's wrong for a male teacher to have sex with a younger female student (she was groomed/coerced) but when the genders are reversed there's a part of us that thinks "did the experience really damage him?" or "did she force him to do anything he didn't want to?"

Those are not questions we'd countenance with a female victim. As a male, sure, I would have loved to have been 'seduced' by an older women when I was a horny adolescent - in theory. The reality is that it would most likely have messed with my head ultimately, and probably fucked up my future sex life. 

What I found most fascinating about these cases is that very often the women are quite attractive and presumably quite capable of getting laid if they wanted sex. Underscoring that point is that often times these women are married. So it's not just sex they're after, they want power over these young boys. They want to be the one in control, 'teaching' these young teens, they want to 'deflower' them and 'be their first'. The motive is similar to most adult male predators too.

In this post we profile...

Jaclyn McLaren, an Ontario middle school teacher who has been convicted of having sex with several boys, all between the ages of 13 and 18. She was sentenced May 21, 2017 to two years jail, after she admitted to sending nude photos and engaging in sexual acts with several students.

She told the court that everything took a turn for the worst once a male student discovered nude photos of her while using her phone during class. After he discovered these nude photos, McLaren claims that he began blackmailing and concocted a scheme, which resulted in the teacher sleeping with several more students.

McLaren alleges that when she asked the student to return the phone back to her, the student told her to send him nude pictures and then he’ll won’t tell anyone what he saw. She admitted to sending nude photos to the 13-year-old student in 2014. Another boy also said he received nude photos of the teacher in 2014, via Snapchat. At the time, the boy was 14 years old. 

The teacher claims that she sent those photos the following year instead. McLaren admitted to meeting both boys at a local trail, where she would drink beer with them. She would then take the boys to her car, where she would “fondle and kiss them.” She also admitted to performing oral sex on both boys.

The third boy says that McLaren started sending him nude photos when he was only 15-years-old. She then waited until he turned 18 for them to engage in sexual intercourse. The fourth student showed police officers a screenshot of McLaren’s breasts. The teacher’s face is visible in the photo.

The fifth boy was not a student of McLaren, unlike the other four boys previously mentioned. He recalls that McLaren sent him nude pictures when he was 16-years-old. He says that she didn’t know his age, but she didn’t seem to be too concerned. The sixth boy received a video of the teacher fondling her breasts. He was a student of McLaren. He was 15-years-old when she sent him that video.

The seventh victim of McLaren is a 17-year-old boy. He also received nude photographs from the teacher, as well as video of her performing a sexual act. McLaren claims to not have known his age. However, she also says that she didn’t take “the necessary steps to find out.”

Jalyn McLaren originally faced 42 separate charges, but the court reduced those charges following a plea deal. In the end, she was convicted on two counts of sexual exploitation, two counts of luring, one of possession of child pornography, one of making explicit material available to people under 18 and one of making it available to people under 16.

Friday, November 10, 2017

It’s #fetishfriday ☠️ can you see me in something like this?

 via Instagram

It’s #fetishfriday ☠️ can you see me in something like this?

#fetishmodel #latexfetish #rubberfetish #latexmodel #fetishwear #rubber #latex #pvc #fetishfriday #friskyfriday #straitjacket #neroblogshere

Thursday, November 9, 2017

“What is it about guys and their fixation with Anal?”

via Instagram

On Instagram I posted this pic and asked the question: "Is it the starfish tease that makes this pic so hot?"

To repeat a question many women ask themselves: “What is it about guys and their fixation with Anal?”

I really don’t know the answer to that. To hazard a guess I’d ... um ... guess it has something to do with it being ‘the last taboo’ for most couples. We no longer expect our partners to be virgins when we couple up but we kinda hope there’s something ‘special’ we can bond over. Intimately.

Something we can fool ourselves into thinking they haven't done with everyone else.

I’m not sure what the next generation are going to bond over though, since it seems plenty of young women are taking it up the butt these days anyway. Apparently it’s expected, given the porn young men (and women) are watching. Maybe the ‘last taboo’ for the next generation will be ‘can I choke you, spit on your face, and then have my six buddies run a train on you before we all finish with our own little bukkake party?’

Yes, todays free porn is pretty extreme.

Anyway, here’s the caption below (in bold) to the image above that I reposted on Instagram. It caught my eye because I’ve noticed a lot more Instagrammers are moving a lot closer to the line on what is and isn’t allowed to be published (as per the rules). Model Riley Anne is maintaining a girl-next-door-pose with this pic, but I've seen much more explicit pics on Instagram and Twitter than this. I chose this one because I didn't wanna risk getting my IG account shut down just to make my point.

It’s the starfish tease that makes this pic so hot! πŸ”₯😈Repost from @rileyannemodel always classy ✨complying with Community Guidelines 😊See uncensored pics of @rileyannemodel at our Patreon, link in bioπŸ“Έ @sigmodels

#beautiful #girl #beauty #love #cute #nice #hot #pretty #lovely #amazing #body #squats #fitgirl  #booty #bestoftheday #followme #follow #butt #ass #thong #thongbikini #thongbooty 

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

A work of Dark Fiction

This is a much different version of the fun story I published yesterday, as part of TMI Tuesday: November 7, 2017 ~ Use Your Words!. I warn you that todays story is dark - very dark - and not erotic at all. It was inspired both by the killings at Sutherland Springs last Sunday and the dinner conversation I had on Saturday night with a former FBI Profiler who told me some horrific stories... the kind that don't make it to television.

The story below is actually the first draft of the story I eventually published yesterday but this one is so awful I couldn't use it. I changed it completely and made it something a lot lighter and possibly a little humorous [see here]. If you choose to scroll down and read the dark version please don't mistake me for a misogynist or a psychopath - it's just a work of fiction!!  #TriggerWarning


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday 

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories


Instruction: Create a short story using the words below. It can be funny, sexy, sad, quirky, kinky and/or intriguing. Get those creative juices flowing!
Dragging; Kitchen; Bedroom; Sofa; Albert Einstein; Closet; Eggbeater; Olive Oil; Rain; Eight

I'm no Albert Einstein but I figured recreating my wife's favorite scene from 9½ Weeks couldn't be that hard. I went to the kitchen and checked the refrigerator - we had strawberries, a can of Dairy Whip, some leftovers, and... and... eight eggs? Maybe I should make her an omelet?

Fuck it, the strawberries and cream would do. As I went back up to the bedroom I could hear the sound of a police siren in the distance. Looking out the window all I saw was rain. What a fucking shit day this was going to be. Again.

My wife was still in the closet where I'd left her. Dragging her out I saw her cellphone on the floor  - who had she called? And how? I'd given her such a beating last night I thought I'd killed her. But that didn't matter anymore - I was going to make it up to her now with strawberries and a can of Dairy Whip. 

Fuck that. 

I threw her onto the kitchen bench, face down. She fell with a lifeless thud. I picked up the Olive Oil and poured it over her naked ass. Fuck 9½ Weeks, let's try a little Last Tango In Paris instead! I slathered the oil all over her crinkled crease and then fucked her asshole. She was tight, making it the best fuck we'd had in a long time. Better than the one last night.

Last night she'd told me she wanted me to go all Christian Gray on her: spank her, slap her a little, take her roughly - like a man. "Like a real man!" she said. It was the last thing she ever said. I slapped her so hard she screamed and when I slapped her again she tried to run, squealing. That was when I punched her...

But there was no need to dwell, we both knew what happened next. 

Do the dead remember anything? 

The sounds of Police sirens snapped me back to reality. She'd called them somehow, this morning. And while I was trying to make a sexy brunch for her too! BITCH!!! 

The sirens were close now, right outside my house. Someone was banging on the door. I was fucked. I slumped down on the sofa and laughed. Even in death my wife had managed to fuck me over one last time. I laughed out loud. She thought she could have the final word? Not fucking likely, bitch.

The eggbeater I'd shoved up her dead cunt would see to that. 

Everyone would know my name now. I'm fucking infamous now, bitch!

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

​TMI Tuesday: November 7, 2017 ~ Use Your Words!

Instruction: Let’s have some fun with TMI Tuesday this week. Create a story using the 10 words below. Your story should be 250 words or less. It can be funny, sexy, sad, quirky, kinky and/or intriguing. Get those creative juices flowing - the words you must use are:
Dragging; Kitchen; Bedroom; Sofa; Albert Einstein; Closet; Eggbeater; Olive Oil; Rain; Eight

I'm no Albert Einstein but I figured recreating my wife's favorite scene from 9½ Weeks couldn't be that hard. I went to the kitchen and checked the refrigerator - we had strawberries, a can of Dairy Whip, some leftovers, and... eight eggs? I'm sure they only used two in the movie - maybe I should make her an omelet? 
Fuck it, the strawberries and cream would do.  
As I went back up to the bedroom I could hear the sound of the rain falling on the porch outside. The sofa would be soaked now, and I knew I was in trouble. My wife had told me several times to drop it at her brother's house but I'd been dragging my heels. If he wanted the sofa why couldn't he come and get it? 
Walking into our boudoir I saw my wife butt-naked on all fours with her head stuck in the closet. She was searching for shoes.  
Looking at her exposed ass I had a sudden desire to ditch the Mickey Rourke fantasy in favor of Marlon Brando in Last Tango in Paris. I contemplated dashing back to the kitchen for the olive oil but then I remembered Brando had used butter when he fucked his lover anally. Ick. 
"What's that stuff for?" asked my wife, snapping me back to reality. 
"I thought we'd try that scene in 9½ Weeks" I replied, holding up the tray full of stuff I'd brought from the kitchen. 
"Then WTF is the eggbeater for?"

~ 250 words, verified here

Bonus: You might have missed yesterday's post Fucking Friday (I had sex - squeee!) and on Sunday I had to reschedule the published Sinful Sunday post in favor of one of my rare non-sexual blog posts Apparently now is not the time to talk about gun control... that I put together in response to the mass shootings at Sutherland Springs.

Double Bonus: I have a much different version of today's story, which I'll publish tomorrow. I warn you that it is dark - very dark - and not erotic at all. It was inspired both by the killings at Sutherland Springs and the dinner I had with a former FBI Profiler on Saturday night who told me some horrific stories... the kind that don't make it to television. #TriggerWarning

Triple Bonus: to lighten the mood now (if the Double Bonus just bummed you out) here's the kitchen scene from 9½ Weeks...


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 6, 2017

Fucking Friday

So last Saturday we had sex and my wife had some intense orgasms (details here) so I naturally assumed she would want more on Sunday, since I'd caught her at various times reading her dirty stories on her iPad. She politely demurred and said "maybe later." I tried to seduce her on Monday night (as she read her dirty stories on her iPad) but she again demurred: "wait until Wednesday."

On Wednesday we watched TV until about 10pm and then my wife said she was going up to bed. I presumed this was her cue for our Wednesday night scheduled sex arrangement (since she often says that the reason we don't have sex is because we go too bed too late and she's tired). My wife can take 20+ minutes in the bathroom ensuite getting ready for bed (lotions, potions, and what not) so I waited 15 minutes and then followed her up.

The lights were out, the bedroom was pitch black, and my wife was asleep.

I considered poking her with a stick (figuratively) to see if she really was asleep, but I decided that was too juvenile. Besides, if she was going to pretend to be asleep then I didn't feel like pretending to wake her up so I could have sex with her. Because that would be pretty lame. So I went back downstairs and watched Netflix.

On Friday we watched TV until about 10pm and then I told my wife I was going up to bed. She barely responded since she was 'multitasking' i.e. surreptitiously reading her dirty stories on her iPad while 'we' watched TV (one of 'her' shows BTW) so I spelled it out explicitly: "I'll have a shower first, and then we can have sex after!"  She heard that because she said "Really?" to which I replied "well, you prefer me clean don't you?"  Then I went upstairs and had a shower.

After the shower I climbed into bed and checked the time. During the shower I had decided that if my wife didn't come upstairs after I'd finished my shower I would start sexting her from the bedroom. "How long does a guy have to wait get his dick sucked?" I planned to say, followed a few minutes later with "Shall I start without you?" if she still hadn't come upstairs. Just thinking about it had given me great big throbbing hard-on in the shower, so I was already primed for action. (Soaping your dick while you're comprising dirty texts in your head is a recipe for disaster BTW - it was all I could do not to finish myself off in there)

I was just about to send the first text when I heard my wife coming up the stairs.

"Oh" said my wife, as if finding me naked in bed was a complete surprise. "Hurry up" I replied, "I was just about to start without you."

My wife didn't take too long in the ensuite and soon enough she was beside me in the bed, wearing a chemise. We kissed and cuddled and my hands fondled her breasts, her hardened nipples revealing I was not the only one who was horny. I left one hand on one breast and sent the other further south, seeking out her pussy. My wife spread her legs a little but as soon as my hand was on her vulva she clamped them shut again.

It's hard to explain but my wife sometimes likes it this way: I have to struggle to force my fingers between her legs, and the most I can get is a finger pressed against her clit. At this point she grinds against me, hard, and does her best to break my hand. Friday night was just like that. I squeezed her breast roughly with my free hand and struggled with the other to find her wet hole. Her whole body writhed against me as she fought me, squeezing her legs together, trying to stop my fingers from finding their prize.

I looked for some softcore images of a BJ but there aren't any
- unless you wanted a woman eating a banana lasciviously?
(But at least I hid it halfway down the page - I hope you weren't too offended)
I had one finger on her clit the whole time, as the others tried to burrow down so I could finger her wet slit. She moaned softly as she stretched, each time somehow pushing her hole just out of reach. I know she has a fear of cystitis but this was getting ridiculous - I'd just had a shower ferchrissakes, I was as clean as a whistle!

I still managed to keep one finger pressed hard against (and rubbing) her clit and she must have cum because she relaxed suddenly and my other fingers were able to travel down further between her pussy lips.

Wet doesn't even describe how she felt down there. I stuck one finger inside her delicious sopping hole for one fleeting moment before my wife pulled back and away from me. She rotated her body and grabbed my cock, stroking it vigorously as soon as she had it in her hand. There was no slow soft sensual buildup whatsoever, just BAM!  She was going for it at a 100 miles an hour. It was like she was determined to get me off with a hand job - as if she'd read me commenting somewhere about how I don't cum from a hand job or a blowjob?

The paranoia was fleeting because I could see my cock was big, thick, long, and throbbing - so hard the head was purple. She could probably tell I was ready to pop so wanted me to get off quickly.

I told her I was getting close and asked her if she wanted to ride me first before I came. She said 'No' and told me that she wanted me to cum 'like this' - and started jacking my cock even harder and faster. It felt good but it also kinda hurt. I looked down and saw that she had an odd technique, which explained why I was both bursting to cum and yet also not cumming. She had cupped her hand into a little sheath, so that her fingers could stimulate my cock vertically as she pumped up and down, but this meant the palm of her hand was bashing the head of my cock on every downstroke.

Maybe that works for some people but it wasn't working for me. Maybe she'd seen it in a porno (which I highly doubt - she prefers reading 'erotica' to watching 'porn') or maybe she'd misunderstood the description of something that sounded hot in one of her dirty stories? Either way I was gonna have to get her to stop what she was doing because it was making my head dry and sore.

"The head of my cock is really dry" I explained, "you're gonna need some lube or something... something wet"

The latter was a hint that she should blow me but it went over her head. She spat on her fingers and licked the palm of her hand. Again, I had no idea what was going through her mind at that moment but it still wasn't working for me so I made my instructions more explicit: "Can you suck my cock please?" That hint she understood so she grabbed my prick and started licking the tip with her tongue.

I was quite vexed as to why she was so tentative. She was licking the head like it was her first time. I cooed 'mmmmmm" to give her some encouragement, and then groaned as she swallowed me whole. Soon she was licking and sucking on my dick like it was candy, combining her mouth action with her fingers on my cock and balls. It felt good.

She placed her hands on the mattress astride my hips and with elbows out she started bobbing up and down on my cock with her wet mouth, sucking hard. It felt very good and I was ready to cum. I warned her I was ready to cum and asked her 'how she wanted it?' - a gentleman should always ask, right? I'd hate for her to get a full load down her throat if she wasn't expecting it.

"Cum all over my tits" she purred, as she released her mouth from the head of my dick and started jacking me hard. "I wanna feel you splash all over these" she continued, as she rubbed my throbbing cock all over her breasts, smearing the tip across both of her rock hard nipples. I knew what she wanted - it was a fantasy of hers. She wanted me to spray a bucket of jism all over her pretty titties, just like they do in the porno movies (or in her dirty stories, possibly?) but I knew from experience that when we do it this way (me on my back, her jacking my cock between her boobs) all that happens is the cum rockets out and arcs across my chest.

So if she wanted the 'pornstar experience' we'd have to do it differently. I told her to get up and kneel on the floor beside the bed; tossing a pillow down as I spoke. She did as instructed and I sat up and started jacking my cock between her breasts. She held them up, cupping them below my balls. Her boobs jiggled as I pumped my cock and it wasn't long before she was bending down to take my cock in her mouth. She took over hand duties as well, and commenced jacking me off whilst sucking me off at the same time. It felt very good.

I groaned and sank back onto the bed.

I lay there with my feet hanging over the side of the bed as she jerked me off for a bit, before once again placing her hands beside my hips and deep throating me - hard and fast. She bounced up and down on my cock like a pro and I knew it wouldn't be long before I was about to cum. In fact it was quicker than I thought.

"I'm gonna cum!" I gasped, by way of warning. This only spurred her on and she deep throated me even deeper, shaking her head sideways as she did so. She was sucking harder too, and I couldn't hold back. "I'm cum-nnnng!" I grunted, as my body spasmed and flung forward suddenly. I was upright now, and I grabbed the sides of her head and started thrusting into her warm wet mouth, ejaculating a gallon of cum down her throat.

Seriously, there was a lot there. I released her head and put my arms behind my back, on the mattress for support, propping myself up as I continued my orgasm. My wife continued to swallow it all, until she couldn't take it any more. She pulled her mouth away but continued jacking my cock and squeezing my balls as I continued to moan and groan loudly until my ejaculation subsided. I was lying on my back on the bed now, eyes closed and spent.

I motioned to the box of tissues, still with my eyes closed, and told her to help herself.

"That's okay" she said, "I swallowed most of it. Jesus there was a lot. You just kept on cumming!" She seemed genuinely incredulous.

"Don't act surprised" I replied. "We haven't had sex since last Saturday and you know I was horny on Sunday and Monday - at which point you told me to wait until Wednesday. What were you expecting?"

"Jesus, you saved that all up for me?" she continued, as she pulled a few tissues and started cleaning up all the mess. Her hands and my cock were still splattered. "I thought you might have... you know... during the week?"

And so there you have it. My wife was thinking if she fobbed me off long enough I'd eventually give up and jerk myself off during the week. Still, it was hard to be mad at her since I'd just had a mind-blowing (so long and intense) orgasm. I think even she was impressed by it, and in her own mind probably took all the credit for it. If she kept a diary (she doesn't) she'd say...

Dear Diary, 
Omigod! I am such an awesome cocksucker. Like totally the best. I gave my BF the sickest hand job eva and then I sucked him off like a pornstar and I totally blew his brains out. There was so much cum it was like literally exploding out my mouth I just couldn't swallow it all... 
I am THE BEST girlfriend eva!!!

(No, I don't know why in my mind my wife would make diary entries like a sixteen year old who has just lost her virginity and thinks she knows everything there is to know about sex. For a genuine diary [by someone older than 16] check out this blog)


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Apparently now is not the time to talk about gun control 😑

 via Instagram

Apparently now is not the time to talk about gun control. 
Because it’s never the right time to talk about #guncontrol 😑 So say the NRA !!
The full version of this post (four pages to detail the worst mass shootings in US history πŸ™) is available here.  When will US legislators do something to stop the continuing madness? I'm sorry but prayer is not the answer!

  1. We grieve with all the families in Sutherland Springs harmed by this act of hatred, and we’ll stand with the survivors as they recover...
  2. May God also grant all of us the wisdom to ask what concrete steps we can take to reduce the violence and weaponry in our midst.

#guncontrolnow #sinfulsunday

Saturday, November 4, 2017

OPP: "His idea…"

This is an excerpt from a short story by Nina B. She writes great erotic stories on Tumblr so check out her NSFW site here and follow her. You won't be disappointed.

She claws her breasts as he fucks her. Fingernails painted candy pink furrow her huge tits.

My eyes move from them to his Cock. So familiar but now odd to see it sinking deep up inside her. The sight of his balls pressed against her bottom mesmerises me.

I’m not sure if I’m aroused or upset. It’s weird watching them fuck but she beckons me over with a backwards nod as she gasps at his thrusts.

An ordinary warm May evening, we’d barbecued earlier but rain sent us inside. I decide then I don’t want to watch, so I straddle her face with its glowing sheen of sweat.

Press my pussy on her glossed lips that earlier teased my husband’s prick awake. She’s good. Her tongue touches me as I hover, still unsure over her.

It’s gentle. The tiniest whisper against me. But I know I want more. Need to enjoy her the way he is as he frantically grunts behind me.

And I lower. Pressing my pussy against her lips. Lipgloss smears across my slit. She instinctively knows me.

Our eyes lock and somehow he’s not in the room then. Despite the masculine smell. His discarded clothes. The sound of the slap of his balls. It’s just us.

So I don’t notice when he stops fucking her. When she kisses me. The taste of myself on her lips, in her mouth.

Our tits squash together as our pussies touch. Kissing deep, clit against clit. And it’s perfect, meant to be.

His cock, he tells me later, was “fit to fucking burst!” I don’t care if I’m honest. But he carries on...

This is just an excerpt ... the full story is continued here

Friday, November 3, 2017

Baby blue rubber boobies for Fetish Friday πŸ’‹

via Instagram

Baby blue rubber boobies for Fetish Friday πŸ’‹

#latex #rubber #fetishfriday #friskyfriday #altsex #altfetish #fetishmodel #rubberfetish #latexfetish #bΓΆΓΆbs #boobs

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

via Instagram

The Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) festival starts today. πŸ’€ 
Find and follow @octoberdivine © for more great photos like this. 
πŸ“Έ credit: @dollhousephotographyuk  
#repost #pinupmodel #diadelosmuertos #dayofthedead #costumemakeup

Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday celebrated throughout Mexico, in particular the Central and South regions, and by people of Mexican ancestry living in other places, especially the United States. The multi-day holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died, and help support their spiritual journey. 

It is acknowledged internationally in many other cultures, but like the Ireland’s St. Patrick's Day the celebration is being appropriated and is often treated as an excuse to dress up and drink lots of alcohol.

Remembering an Ex on Fetish Friday