So I stretched out on the bed and read some submissions to the Masturbation Monday meme, and some of the stories were quite hot so ... nature took it's course.
I had literally just climaxed when I hear a key in the lock and my wife opening the front door. Then I hear my daughters voice! It turns out my wife had picked her up from school early and was dropping her home. She was 'sick' (sick of school more likely). For some reason my wife decided to park on the street and use the front door - not the garage like she does 99% of the time.
My brain goes into overdrive (don't call it panic)!
My main concern is that the front door opens up to a stairway. We have two, one that goes to our master bedroom and another that goes up to my daughters room and the guest bedroom. I need to dash out of the guest bedroom, cross the upstairs hallway, past my daughters bedroom and then on to our own bedroom. I have two choices:
1] hide in the guest bedroom and hope I'm not discovered.
2] make the mad dash and hope no-one sees my naked body.
I make the wrong choice - I make the mad dash.
As I do so my wife walks in the door, looks up, and sees me. And calls out to me. I know she can't see my lower body so she can't see I have a rapidly softening erection that I'm holding with one hand so I don't drip on the carpet. Yes, she literally put the key in the lock just as I was ejaculating - that's why I had to think quickly and act fast.
Like I said, I made the wrong call. I should have stayed in the guest bedroom and calmly put my clothes back on and then come out. They would have been in the kitchen by then.
So I have to talk to my wife from the landing, holding my jeans in one hand and my semen covered dick in the other. My wife asks me to drop her in the city for her meeting, saying she'll take an Uber home. (Oh, one of those meetings is it?) My wife does not ask why I'm not wearing a shirt. I tell my wife I'll take her and nonchalantly walk to our bedroom where I hurriedly put my clothes on.
I only have time to wash my hands before we go, so I'm driving my wife into the city with a crotch covered in wet sticky jism. I wonder if she can smell it, but she says nothing. Other than asking me why I was in the guest bedroom. I tell her I was using the toilet because mine is broken (it is) so she says 'okay' and nothing else. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't - quite frankly I didn't care anymore because I was kind of angry.
Not at her, but at the Universe.
Angry because the fates had once again conspired to kill my buzz. Deprive me of my sexual pleasure. Yes I had ejaculated, but the orgasm was over before it started. I can't speak for all men but I personally just want to lie there afterwards and relax - and hopefully fall asleep. Masturbation is a great catalyst for a twenty minute power nap, and I enjoy my power naps.
And yes, I do understand that this is a classic #FirstWorldProblems! I jerked off again later and everything was fine. All the stress drained away.
So... what's your worst masturbation story?
Click the link to see sexier stories than this one!