Wednesday, November 14, 2018

#WickedWednesday ~ #StoryIn12 : "Meal"

#StoryIn12 is a meme that runs on Twitter (see @StoryIn12) where quite simply you're given a prompt word and have to write a 'story' in twelve words - including the prompt word. It's a lot of fun - sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's very hard (to convey a story in only 12 words). This one was difficult because I couldn't decide whether '69' should be counted as two words ('sixty nine') or one - and then the same problem again with 'you're'. Does it count as one word or two ('you are')?

It's not covered in the #StoryIn12 rulebook since there aren't any rules (other than you must use 12 words - no more, no less) because, as I said, it's just a fun thing. Give it a go if you're on Twitter...

The second bit of fun I had was trying to find a pic to illustrate my story. Normally I don't bother (no time) but sometimes I do, and this time I was keen to stress the 'eating out' nature of 69 so I figured the addition of a pic might underscore that. (My first draft included the phrase 'eating it out' but that had me at 16 words, which I shaved down to 14, before admitting defeat and starting afresh to get down to 12)  I punched '69' into the Tumblr search box and got surprisingly few hits.

I suspect 69 is a hashtag that gets you shadow banned?

You can see the first search result I got above, which was one of about six photo panels on Tumblr. Initially I didn't see in the first few panels what later became abundantly clear in the final panels, and it made me laugh when I did notice it. She was quite a hottie until that point! Still is, I suppose, but not my thing. I almost used the first pic to illustrate my #StoryIn12 but I chickened out, searched again and used the 'safe' (ie heterosexual) one below instead.

I don't consider myself transphobic, I just didn't want anyone on Twitter getting confused about what I'm into. 

The irony is that when this Blogger post cross-posts to Twitter (@NeroTweetsHere) it will likely show the first image anyway (sometimes the widget misfires and doesn't show any pics) and when it cross posts to Tumblr (NeroTumblesHere) it will definitely show the top pic. C'est la Vie!

Anyway, here's what I managed to do with the prompt word 'meal' :

69: a meal for two when you're both too lazy to cook.



This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ November 13, 2018 - Tough Decisions

Miranda Kerr ©

1. Name 3 things that most excite your imagination when you imagine doing them? (I know TMI Tuesday blog is number one, so name three other things).
~ i] Traveling overseas, especially if it's to a new place I haven't been to before
ii] Knowing I'm gonna have the whole house to myself for a while, meaning I can get some 'solo' time.
iii] Yesterday I actually wrote up a fantasy that excites me - I often imagine it, as in 'what if...?' You can read it here.

2. When sleeping with your significant other (yes, actually sleeping) do you like to cuddle up or do you prefer sleeping away from them nestled in your own blanket cocoon?
~ I've mentioned this before. We have a SuperKing-size bed ie larger than King Size. This means we both sleep on opposite sides of the bed, with room in between for a third. Not that there's ever a third. If ever I move closer to my wife she moves further away, which isn't easy given she's already on the edge of the bed. Lately I've been sleeping in the movie room (about 90% of the time) which is a whole other blog post.

Source: on Insta ©
3. Would you rather:
a. Drive 200 miles well over the legally drunk limit?
b. Drive 200 miles after being awake for 72 hours?
~ I chose B because A is illegal. B is probably also illegal but you have a greater chance of getting away with it if stopped by a cop. B probably leaves you just as impaired as A, but I have managed it when I was younger.  B has probably killed more fledgling rock bands than A.

4. Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time

b. Pantless all the time
~ A of course, because I'm a dude! Me topless is no great treat, but me pant-less is even worse. Ladies should always be pant-less - in a big man-size white shirt, slightly open with teasing cleavage. Like Miranda Kerr above, or this woman.

5. What is something you could talk about for hours?
~ You. You're so beautiful and gorgeous and just an all round stunning individual. I really want to get to know you better, ALL of you, so lets just lay here a while and talk. Really talk. About real things - the real things that really matter in this crazy mixed up world we live in. So crazy. I bet you're crazy. Crazy in bed, I mean. I bet you're really good in bed, right? Amiright?

Bonus: What is something you could talk about for hours and not bore people to death?
~ Myself. I'm so fascinating. Ladies love me, girls adore me, even the one's who never saw me. The reason why? Man, I don't know.

Double Bonus: Yesterday I actually wrote up a fantasy that excites me - I often imagine it, as in 'what if...?' You can read it here. And here is a song that explains my Bonus answer above (if you haven't already figured it out).


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 12, 2018

#MasturbationMonday - A Shocking Development

I got the shock of my life when I came home at lunchtime to get my mobile phone. I’d gone to work without it and by 9am it felt like a limb had been removed. So I told my wife I was coming home to get it. Unless she wanted to come in to the office and drop it off for me, pretty please?

‘No can do’ she said curtly, ‘I have something planned, and I’m not your slave...’

‘More’s the pity’ I muttered, before hanging up.

I dashed home and immediately bolted up the stairs to grab my phone from the bedside table, leaving the front door wide open. The gate had closed behind me and I was only going to be a minute - I had to get back on the train and back into the city by 1pm, which was totally doable.

Or maybe not.

When I got to the bedroom I found my wife buck naked, and bent over the bed.

“What the fuck?!” I blurted out, flabbergasted.  What the fuck was going on indeed?

“Surprise!” she laughed, “I figured you’d be in a hurry so I got ready for you”

“What? What’s going on?”  I stammered.

I wasn’t stupid, I could see what was going on, I just couldn’t fathom it. Never once in our entire marriage had she acted like this. What had brought this on?

“Don’t think, just fuck” she said, wiggling her bottom at me. “Hurry, there isn’t much time, just drop your pants and shove that big hard cock inside me. I’m wet as fuck already so do it...”

She shook her ass again, more urgently this time, as if to confirm she was serious. Deadly serious.

“You’re wet? Why? What have you been doing? And what about me? No foreplay? You can’t just expect to me to flop it out on demand and fuck you...” I was so taken aback I was babbling.

"You look ready to me..." she sniggered, looking down at my crotch.

As my eyes involuntarily followed her gaze I realised I was already hard. Rock hard. My body was moving faster than my brain, which was still in handbrake mode. My wife was naked in front of me, begging to be fucked, and I was asking why? Why?

I dropped my trousers and pulled down my briefs, making my turgid prick spring out like the eager beaver it was. As I stepped forward towards the bed my wife rose up higher, on all fours, and assumed the doggy position on the edge of the mattress. I grabbed her hips and slid my dick inside her wet slit effortlessly. She was wet alright, absolutely sodden in fact, and yet her velvet sheath felt tight around my throbbing cock.

I started with long slow steady strokes, a gentle but continuous thrusting. I looked down and savored the sight of my cock slicing in and out of her wet hole, becoming mesmerized and conflating the image with a porno we'd never made. How those guys can hold a camera and stay hard while fucking their wives I'll never know - not until my wife lets me film us, at least. Maybe I should ask her now, I wondered, seeing as she was behaving in such a thoroughly wanton slutty manner?

As my mind wandered so did my gaze, and I spied my nemesis on her nightstand. Her iPad mini and a vibrator! Now I knew why she was so wet - she was up to her old tricks again - Kindleporn and Mr Rabbit! If her cunt didn't feel so good wrapped around my cock I might have got angry and stopped - but I couldn't stop myself now if I tried. So I smacked her ass instead, loud and hard.

She barely flinched.

"Mmmmmm, yesss" she purred, "I've been reading my dirty stories this morning, ALL morning, and edging myself with Mr Rabbit" she explained, almost as if she'd read my mind. I felt her fingertips brush my shaft briefly as she urgently sought out her clit.

"If you hadn't come in when you did I might not have been able to hold back any longer, I might have come myself..." she continued.

She was diddling herself furiously now, her fingers moving fast beneath me. I was moving fast now too, my balls bouncing and beginning to smash against her. I gripped her hips tighter and started banging her harder and faster.

"Oh yeah, thats g-ood!" she grunted, through gritted teeth. Dropping down onto her forearms her ass tilted up higher and she began to push back against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. "You came at just the right time, I'd been edging for 20 minutes before you walked in, I knew you were coming, but, if you'd come any later, you might, have, heard me, having, a screaming orgasm..."

Her sentences were broken now, coming in breathless snippets, as she spat out the words in time with the royal pounding I was giving her. She threw her head up and arched her back as she thrust her ass back and forth in short sharp strokes along my dick. I thought she was about to come but instead she dropped her head down again and started slapping her pussy with her cupped hand.

Propped up on one crooked arm she continued with her story...

"I do this every Monday" she confessed. "Masturbation Monday has become a ritual for me. After you go to work, I go back to bed, r-reading stories, dirty stories, dirty stories about, dirty girls. For an hour. Then. Mr Rabbit. For an hour. Just teasing. No more. then more. thenIgo. goforit. fuckmyself. fuckmydirtyhole. fuckmydirtyholewithMrRabbitandallmyfingerzzzz... AHHHHHH!!!"

She came without warning. Well, no warning for me. She certainly knew what was coming. She was slapping her clit like it had run away from home - she punished it mercilessly. Her climax was long and intense and as she spasmed around me I came too. I thrust forward and held still, arching my back and making my neck and spine crack as the wave of pleasure flooded both through and all over me.

I flooded her too, with my jizz, as she pumped my balls with her fingers, milking me with her one free hand.

Finally done we collapsed onto the bed, groaning.

"You do this every Monday?" I said, finally.

"Yup!" she replied, grinning unabashed.

"Hmmmm," I said, pausing. "I might have to leave my phone at home every Monday then...."


This work of fiction has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Thursday, November 8, 2018

#ICYMI - #TYT Replay: Weekend Sex Part 2

Today's post forThrowback Thursday is an excerpt from one originally posted on May 4, 2016. You can read the full story here.

Maybe she read my mind because she stopped talking and reached into her nightstand to grab the lube. She lathered it over both my cock and her pussy and we were good to go. I mounted her missionary style and ground my pubic bone into her clit on the upstroke, since she had seemed to enjoy the pressure when we had done something similar (but completely different) the night before. She started moaning and writhing below me, squeezing her own breasts as she did so. 
It was hot. I concentrated hard on making her cum and stopping myself from doing the same. 
I lifted her legs and started pounding into her hard, as she grabbed her vulva and pressed firmly against her clit. Her other hand was squeezing one of her tits for all it was worth and I could tell she was very close. I continued pumping her and she grunted that she was cumming and begged me to cum too. 
"Cum with me, fill me up, shoot it all inside me, I want it all inside me" she grunted. 
Yup, she was reading dirty stories with dirty talk alright - and saying all the right words now! 
I loved it but I wasn't ready to cum so I flipped her around onto all fours and did her doggy style. There was almost no break so she was almost immediately ramped back to a second orgasm as I grabbed her hips and thrust deeply. Again she moaned like she was about to cum, dropping her head and mewing into the mattress. With her free hand she started slapping her cunt and began grunting again. My balls were slapping her pussy too now, fighting with her fingers for access to her clit. 
She found a rhythm, stroking my balls and her clit at the same as I rode her hard. 
"Uh-nghhhh" she grunted, "I'm cummmm-innng!" 
And she did, hissing through gritted teeth as she squeezed out a second orgasm. I held still as she pulsed around my dick, before releasing her and letting her fall forward onto the mattress. Looking at her ass as she slumped on the bed I started jacking my cock again, in long slow strokes. I decided I wanted to jerk off and spray my hot jism down her ass crack, as we'd done many times before. I pulled her up again into the doggy position, and placed my cock at the entrance to her back door...

the story continues here...

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

#WickedWednesday ~ Anyone know where the line in Social Media is drawn?

On Monday I posted 'Say No to Twitterporn?' in response to a comment from someone I follow on Twitter. She suggested Twitter was not the place to post pornographic images, which surprised me given how much porn I see on my Twitter feed. You can see my full response here.

Strangely enough I then found today's post buried deep in my 'drafts' folder, titled 'Anyone know where the line in Social Media is drawn?' It was just the title and the images above, with no text.

Clearly a similar thought had occurred to me, as had the woman from Monday. There is indeed a lot of porn posted on our social media and yet the rules on how or if it is displayed are inconsistent. Both of the images above were posted on my Tumblr account but only the one on the left was flagged as 'sensitive' by Tumblr. Which image do you think would be more harmful to minors seeing it on their feed?

I have chosen to mark my Tumblr account as 'adult content' (as I have on this Blogger account) and I use the NSFW tags to stop people who don't want to see that content from seeing my posts. But the reality is that young teens have their own secret social media accounts that their parents don't know about and I'm pretty sure they don't self select the option not to see adult/NSFW content. Which means any screening or 'Parental Controls' you may have applied to your kids accounts are moot.

Which leads to the obvious question: should we moderate our sex blogs because kids might access it? I say 'No' so I shall carry on regardless, albeit tut tutting about some of the stuff I see online. You know, the really hardcore images, the ones kids definitely shouldn't be seeing online. Those are the things that something needs to be done about, not my stuff, says Nero possibly a little hypocritically.

I'm not alone in thinking that there should be a social media platform online that is specifically 'Adult orientated'. One where we can post our own porn and erotic thoughts online without fear of having our accounts frozen for a week, or banned outright, because we've offended some wowser who has drawn a morality line higher that the one we draw for ourselves.

A few have tried but inevitably they fail to meet the reach of the most popular platforms, who themselves are keen to have the most users (all that data!) and therefore do their best to remove content that may offend someone. And since there is a high level of latent exhibitionism in sharing all those 'Look at me, I'm a Wanton Sex God/Goddess' posts, tweets, and tumbles we tend to stick with the platforms that have the most people supporting them.

Let's face it, we might all want an R18 version of Facebook* where we could post explicit content and chat naughtily amongst ourselves - but we know in reality it would be overrun within a month by bots with fake profiles posting images of underage girls and trying to lure us to their pornsites on the dark web.

Because that's what an uncensored unregulated internet would look like.


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ November 6, 2018 - "I told you so!"

A new month, a new week, a new TMI Tuesday!

Image Source ©
1. Do you go out of your way to be nice?
~ Only to the elderly and the disabled. And kids. The rest of you are grown ups and need to earn it. Which shouldn't be mistaken as suggesting I'm rude or mean. First impressions count so I'll always make an effort.

2. Some time ago people were buried with items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?
~ I can't imagine a single thing I'd want in the or need in the afterlife that I won't already have waiting for me when I get there. I presume I'll get 72 Virgins and have a slightly larger dick, right? By which I mean a magic penis - one that is the perfect, most sexually fulfilling size for whichever woman receives it.

3. What social stigma does society need to get over?
~ Wow, this is such a broad question it's hard to answer. We need to get over them all, and whilst progress is being made in some countries and cultures it is failing in others. Homosexuality is the obvious one but I suspect poverty is going to be the worst in the near future. With the increasing gap between rich and poor in Western society the poor will be stigmatized so that their position in society is marginalized. The aim of course is to validate the belief that they 'brought it on themselves' and therefor they do not deserve help. 

Conversely we're also seeing a rise in the stigmatization of 'baby boomers' ie people over 50. We're told 'they had it easy/good' and that they have been advantaged financially at the expense of todays young people and the struggling middle class. If you can't buy a house, or get a job to pay of your massive student loan, it's because the Boomers scooped up all the wealth and pulled the ladder out behind them. 

Image Source ©
4. When was the last time you told someone “I told you so”?
~ Me. Usually when I make a lapse in judgement and allow myself to think my wife wants to have sex with me.  The last time it happened was on Saturday night. We watched to two RomCom's on Netflix and then afterwards my wife leaned over on top of me and started kissing me. When I hugged and kissed her back she jumped up and said she had yoga in the morning and had to go to sleep. And off she went.

5. When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? What did you find?
~ Ha! Regular readers will know I do this a lot. I've never (yet) found anything I wish I hadn't, my snooping merely confirms what my gut already knew to be true. The things I find are what she's been searching (and buying) for her Kindleporn addiction, and what plans she's making with her friends. These are made well in advance but my wife only tells me a few days ahead - as if it was a last minute thing. Last Thursday night she invited me to something on Friday, which of course I couldn't do because someone had to take care of our dog and our daughter - both of whom are running a bit feral lately. My wife also has a few 'business' trips planned for the next three months (some out of state, some out of the country) that she hasn't mentioned yet. She normally gives me advance warning a week or so ahead, together with 'I thought I told you?'.

Bonus: What small seemingly insignificant thing did your parents or someone else say when you were a child that has stuck with you all this time?
~ Um... er... nothing sticks out? I kinda developed my own moral compass when I was 13 and moved forward from there. My guiding mantra (applied to sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll) was always "Who's in control?" - by which I mean from an early age I made sure I was the one spinning my own wheels ie I was not being led by others. (And no, I don't have a god complex)

Double Bonus: If you want to know more about 'Social Stigma' I found this an interesting read.  If you want to know more about 'The Last Time Nero Had Sex' read this, and if you want to know more about 'Shadow Banning (on Social Media)' read this.

Triple Bonus: and just to remind you this is still a sex blog AND that today is the last day to vote in the US midterm elections (oh so important if you're a US citizen unhappy with Trump) here's a bonus pic:

Street art in Melbourne, Australia 


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, November 5, 2018

#MasturbationMonday - Say No to TwitterPorn?

So someone I follow on Twitter posted this today and of course I couldn't respond because that would only draw attention to my Twitter account which ~ahem~ might occasionally include 'artistic nudes'. 

Full disclosure: most of the images I post on my Tumblr are more pornographic than artistic so when they cross post to Twitter (I use an app that does it automatically) then the person above is likely to be offended. The strange thing is, some images coming via Tumblr don't transfer (so you just get the text and a link) but others do. Thus far I haven't been able to figure out why some do and some don't but it's never really mattered much - until now. 

image by May More ©
On Saturday I did my #SoSS post (Share Our Shit Saturday) and it included this image (left) by May More ....

As luck would have it (bad luck) the image did cross post to Twitter, via my Tumblr account and {surprise surprise!} the image was enough to get both myself and May More (who retweeted my tweet) shadow banned by Twitter.

If you don't know what Shadow Banning is then check out May's explanation of it here. Bizzarely Twitter continue to insist they don't shadow ban anyone -- but their explanation is pure Trumpspeak: 
"We do not shadow ban," Twitter said in a blog post. "You are always able to see the tweets from accounts you follow (although you may have to do more work to find them, like go directly to their profile)." ~ Source
Sure, so they don't 'shadow ban' -- they just make it so your tweets aren't seen by anyone unless they specifically go to your Twitter page and look for it. Because that's how everyone uses Twitter, right? Oh, but wait a minute - when you go to my Twitter page you see this:

 And that's what I see too - on my own Twitter page on my own computer. Crazy!

What I find weirdest of all is that my Twitter feed is CHOCK FULL of images a million times 'worse' than the photo of May's breasts.  Some people I follow on Twitter will post photos of themselves with exposed vagina's and others will post videos of themselves having sex. With penises. Or sundry substitutes. They're all explicit images and they all cascade down my Twitter feed constantly, like a waterfall. I certainly am not going to their profile to see it, it's offered up to me by Twitter.

So why are they not shadow banned?

I can't answer that, but I can answer the original poster above who feels that Twitter is not the place for porn: yes, it is. Why? because Twitter is just another form of technology, and besides the horse has bolted, the cat is out of the bag, that ship has sailed. Which isn't to say that I don't agree that she shouldn't be assailed by porn on Twitter. If she doesn't want to see it she shouldn't have to, and maybe Twitter could do more to ensure she doesn't. 

On both Blogger and Tumblr you can mark your own account as 'Adult content' so that people who don't want to see that stuff don't. On Tumblr if you use hashtags like #NSFW (not safe for work) then people who don't want to see that content won't see your post (and #pussy will usually guarantee your post is marked as 'sensitive content'). Which is how it should be. 

I use Twitter to keep in contact with fellow sex bloggers and also for it's pornographic content. Every time I see a porn clip on my feed that interests me I send it to myself via DM. Then whenever I feel the need for a little 'self love' (see? this is why I'm posting this on Masturbation Monday - there is a link!) I just go to my Twitter mailbox to see what dirty nasty little porn clips my good friend Nero has sent me.

I say 'little' because the maximum clip length seems to be 2'20 (although occasionally someone posts a compressed 6 minute clip) but usually I only need to watch a few before I'm ready to pop. Which is the whole point (for anyone judging me)! Actually, truth be told those Twitter clips are more like foreplay because after a couple of them I usually switch to YouPorn and watch a longer clip. Watching 2 minute clips (and then having to close and open each new clip) is really only good for edging.

But I'm rambling now, so I'll leave you with one final observation/warning which I would have said on the original poster's tweet above, were I not scared she would block me:

If you do look at the photos and videos of the people who post Twitterporn then the Twitter algorithm recognizes that and very quickly you will find the only stuff appearing on your feed is Twitterporn. Which you can't help clicking on because you're a red blooded male - and the cycle continues. Suddenly that's all you see on Twitter.

Which makes the issue of 'shadow banning' so much more confusing. 'Real' people like May get shadow banned for flashing their boobs, and yet pornstars continue to get a free pass on posting teaser excerpts from their latest clip on Brazzers or PornHub...  


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Saturday, November 3, 2018

#SoSS ~ OPP - Erotic Reading vs Erotic Videos

Image from May More © but it's only half the picture. If you want to see more than her beautiful boobs go here
The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

May More ~ If Sex Matters - "There is a Window from One Heart to Another"

May has in recent months taken to writing many of her stories from the male POV.  She's quite good at it, better than I in fact! here's one from a month ago: 

Don’t ask why, but I was peeping. I was doing my job, gardening, when something drew me to the back window.

I swear I saw a light flash from the room and took it as a sign. That’s the truth, and there she was laid out on the bed, a bright lamp illuminating the scene before me.

Unable to take my eyes away I reached inside my fly. My cock was alert, waiting. The familiar touch drew it out as it spasmed into my hand. At this moment she threw the book aside – prising her cunt lips open, simultaneously massaging her button.

I willed her to look my way, tapping the head of my dick.

Glistening with lust it’s single eye glared up at me.

Then I saw her glance over – a flicker of acknowledgement as she inserted two fingers into her sodden slit.

Our eyes now locked I could not hold back. Urgently, my hand went to work – thumb stroking my knob as the digits squeezed the shaft.

Hungrily, her cunt sucked in her fingers....
 [much more]

Posy Churchgate ~ Pillow Talk - Raising Edward Thackeray

Posy has written a three part story about a ghost who haunts a graveyard, gaining life from the sexual energy of the young lovers who frolic amongst the tombstones. This is an excerpt from Part One :
Edward’s heart leaped at the moans and grunts of these standing fucks, which boosted his spirit with energy to be free. Each time a girthy cock was grasped by a delicate female hand to be squeezed and pumped till it spat hot white seed into the ivy trailing over his tombstone, Edward gained a better grasp on materialising. Every beauty who allowed her pert breasts to be displayed for fondling and licking, or her skirts to be pulled up to allow a lad to lap at her labia or finger her until she spent, gave a surge of energy to his ectoplasm which allowed him to levitate back from the valley of death into our world.

As Edward’s strength grew, over passing years, he found he could participate in pleasuring the girls. At first he could only ‘present’ himself as a chilling draught which gave them shivers down their spine or goosebumps on their already-pebbling nipples, but he...
 [much more]

The Verge ~  "What if porn, but for women"

I'm not sure if I've shared this previously but it's a subject I've found interesting. There's a whole new generation of women who aren't content with simply reading erotic novels, and they enjoy visual porn that 30 years ago would have been considered 'Men Only'. Which of course now makes them a new consumer unit the porn industry can exploit. Get your cameraphones out ladies! :
Porn has long been seen as the exclusive domain of men — at least when it comes to who’s making it and consuming it. Whether it’s because women are assumed to be less horny and visual-oriented, or just too monogamy-oriented to be interested in watching other people have sex, pundits have long proclaimed ladies to be generally uninterested in erotic films. But it’s increasingly clear that that idea isn’t true: On the porn site Pornhub, “porn for women” was the top trending search term of 2017, and globally, women are estimated to make up about a quarter of porn viewers, a number that continues to increase as internet access becomes more widespread.

For the team at xHamster, one of Pornhub’s competitors, this explosion of female interest signals an obvious opportunity for investment — and they’re eager to get in on the ground floor. This month, the company launched the Porn for Women Development Fund, a grantmaking program that’ll award stipends ranging from $500 to $10,000 to female pornographers of all different backgrounds and experience levels. Through this program, xHamster hopes to inspire amateur filmmakers to consider porn as a profession, give more established filmmakers a little financial boost, and, of course, position itself as a destination for women looking for porn that caters to their interests...
[much more]

Friday, November 2, 2018

#FetishFriday ~ Something different! πŸ€”

via Instagram

Repost from @torturegardenofficial on Instagram:
Love love love these outfits worn to last weekend's TG Halloween Ball 1, the first galleries from the event are already up in the TG FB page, we'll add more as we get them! This weekend's Halloween 2 is about to sell out so it's the last chance get tickets if you want to come out and party with us! These stylish partygoers are @evekann and @minabusinessdrag

photo by @bobette_bobettexx

#torturegarden #halloween #costume #fashionart #extremefashion #clubkid #inspo #dresscode 

Thursday, November 1, 2018

That moment you realised the #POTUS was a #DOOFUS πŸ’©

via Instagram


Seriously, his solution to school massacres is ‘arm the teachers’?
#WTF ??? 🀬
They’re there to #teach !!
#neveragain #guncontrol #guncontrolnow #notmypresident #dumptrump


With the US mid term elections about to start it's time for all US voters to send a signal that #TimesUp. So vote Democrat and vote out the Republicans - so that Trump has no support left within Congress and the Senate to do his bidding and enact his foolish ideas!

The 2018 United States elections will mostly be held on Tuesday, November 6, 2018. These midterm elections will take place in the middle of Republican President Donald Trump's term. All 435 seats in the United States House of Representatives and 34 of the 100 seats in the United States Senate will be contested. 39 state and territorial governorships and numerous other state and local elections will also be contested. ~ Wikipedia

And because this is a sex blog, not a political blog, we won't let you go away empty handed. Here's a few photos of the First Lady on the Trump jet, as seen in GQ Magazine © :

Wednesday, October 31, 2018


via Instagram 
Why couldn’t I get @lorettavampz as MY babysitter? πŸ’€
#cosplay #notcosplay #hellraiser #pinhead #leatherfetish and... sorry Loretta but I have to say it: #boobs πŸ’―


Tuesday, October 30, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ October 30, 2018 -On The Road Again!

1. Tell us about the last road trip you made: When? Where did you go? How long was the overall trip? Did you go alone? Did you have fun?

~ Road trips? Phew, that was a long time ago. We tend to fly everywhere now. The last road trip was four weeks ago for a funeral. Three hours in a car with the in-laws for a trip that was supposed to be two hours. No fun at all. 
About 10 years ago we drove from Rome to Paris, taking six weeks to do so and stopping at various points in between. That was fun. Especially since my wife hired a station wagon and most old European cities have notoriously narrow streets!

2. Do you love to travel?

~ Oh yes! We do one big vacation a year and a few short trips where we can. Off to an island at the end of the month...

3. What’s the best place you’ve been? Do you want to go back?

~ I've been to over 175 places according to Tripadvisor so I really couldn't pick a fave. There's nowhere that I can think of that I wouldn't want to go back to.

4. Would you travel for sex? Have you traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex?

~ Ha - I did when I was younger. My High School girlfriend moved to a new town. I used to visit her on my motorbike at weekends, which was a 90 minute journey. It ended when I turned up one weekend unannounced and discovered how she was filling the absences...

5. What sexual act or sex position do you struggle with doing?

~ I've never been pegged (and my wife has never suggested it) but I find a finger up my butt painful and unpleasant. Maybe I need to pay a professional for a proper prostrate massage? I've both eaten out and banged my wife while she was leaning prostrate over a bathroom vanity, but I've never done while she was sitting upright on it (or on a kitchen counter) like they do in the movies. Nor have I lifted her up off the ground and pounded her while thrusting against the wall, like they do in the movies (and porn).

Bonus: What are you into but have not told anyone?

~ That's a sneaky question! If I tell you then the secret is out...!

Double Bonus: ~ If you like Shaggy Dog Stories that end with real life sex then see #WickedWednesday - A Sinful Sunday. If you like Shaggy Dog Stories that end with fictional sex then see Tell us another riddle!


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

"I stopped for a hitch hiker, she flashed her tits, and then she stole my car!"
Full photoplay via Tumblr (here)

Monday, October 29, 2018

#MasturbationMonday ~ About those dick pics...

I don’t send them. Never have, never will (unless you ask nicely) because I’m ‘average’ and it always somehow looks smaller on camera. Maybe I’m holding the camera wrong... maybe I need a selfie stick so I can get a better angle... one that casts me in a better light? I certainly can't ask my wife to take one, since she'd surely ask "What for?"

Image © Alex @aBigDickBoy [Twitter]
Anyway, this is one that Alex posted on Twitter - where you can find him @aBigDickBoy. He’s got a few of them, as well as photos of his girlfriend sucking it (just so you know he’s not gay). The caption to this particular photo was
“What would you do to me then 
#bigdick #horny”.
I presume it was a question (even though he proffered no question mark) directed at his girlfriend - otherwise he’s got sum ‘splaining to do!

I have zero interest in the male appendage (other than my own) and don’t spend much time looking at them. I suppose the length and girth is impressive, but really I’m no aficionado so I have no idea. Which is where you come in. What do you think?

Is it aesthetically pleasing? I love the naked female form, and I love female genitalia but this is... well... as I said, it does nothing for me. I find them ugly. Those veins make me a little squeamish to be honest. I worry the poor boy is going to hurt himself... he looks ready to explode!

But maybe I’m wrong and that's exactly what you like about it? If you do then send me a nude selfie and we can trade - I’ll send you back a sexy dick pic in return, I promise. 

Of Alex.


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday. Click this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

#SinfulSunday ~ Why is facefucking so brutal?

On Wednesday I posted about the sex I had last Sunday night, which was pretty much just a face fuck. You can read that here (but if you want just the sexy part then scroll down two thirds of the post to the bit that starts in bold. The first part is just me kvetching about my wife (but it explains, IMO, why I was in the mood I was in when I face fucked her).

This is just a mild example, because this image cross posts on my Tumblr account
Anyway, I had to look for an image to illustrate the story but when I googled 'Face Fucking' all I got was a screen full of brutal images. I had to search again for 'Face Fucking Happy' to find the one I eventually used. I captioned that image with 'There's a side story about this image I'll tell at the end...' but then forgot to tell that story - which is what I'm doing here.

The image I used on Wednesday was arguably 'just' a blowjob but I really didn't want to use one of the ones I found in my first search. Sure, face fucking is rougher sex but the images in the first search were bordering on abuse. And I get that for many people that is exactly what they get off on, so the pornographers were only delivering on what 'the audience' wanted but...

Same model again, not looking sexyShe looks distressed.
Well, lets just say that facefucking doesn't always have to be about jamming your massive cock so far down her throat that she gags - and when she does you leave it there until she's crying and the mascara runs down her cheeks. And maybe slap her face a little and tell her to take it, like a good bitch, because that's all she's good for - a receptacle for your cum.

Hmmmm, maybe I could use that paragraph as the basis for some erotic fiction? I know my wife would read it...

Anyway, I do know that most porn is not 'real' and that most of the hardcore stuff is 'theatre' and loosely choreographed by paid adult actors, but I was frankly surprised that the first two pages of my initial search were all 'facial abuse' images. As has been noted previously by columnists and sex bloggers better than I, if this is what teenage boys are seeing when they search for free porn then I feel sorry for the teenage girls they're trying to fuck.

And with teen girls also looking at online porn to see what's what I have to wonder what they're learning. That this is what sex is like? That sex is abusive? Gawd help us if they do. I imagine it would be quite off putting. And again, I get that there are plenty of women who get off on rough sex/submission fantasies/sexplay but surely it's something you graduate to?

A different model, also not looking sexyShe looks distressed.
Sex is about pleasure and yes there are times when it lacks romance or intimacy, but it should always be good for both parties. My daughter is at an age now where I know sex is rearing it's evil head so I hope she's not going to find her way with a guy(s) who learnt online that bitches like it rough and this is how you do it. And that she also thinks this is how it is because she's seen those video too, so I'll just let him slap me and spit on my face.

And don't say 'Teach her about consent Nero' because we did that.  We also taught her that 'Smoking is bad' but it didn't stop her doing that anyway. Because she wants to fit in - and be a bad ass (she smokes Marlboro FFS!)

Hopefully she'll save the kinky stuff for when she's older and knows her way around the race track a bit more. With both her parents genes running through her DNA I have no doubt she'll be capable of sexing at an F1 or NASCAR level, but right now she hasn't even got her Learners License. Fingers crossed that when she decides to get in a fast car she's behind the wheel, and not sitting in the passengers seat...

Friday, October 26, 2018

It’s goodnight from me.

via Instagram

This is @so_cal_barbie © in a little fantasy number for #fetishfriday πŸ—
#fetishwear #fantasywear #dressup #stockingsfetish #sweetdreams 

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Tell us another riddle!

On Tuesday I had to come up with a riddle for TMI Tuesday. Naturally it was so long winded I had to delete it and start again, with something shorter. Which I did, but here now is a different but longer riddle:

Double Bonus: Tell us another riddle.

~ Q: My wife said she wanted to celebrate my 50th Birthday with 'something special.' She asked me what sexual fantasy was still on my Bucket List, and with a wink she promised to make it happen. Excited, I told her I'd always wanted to have a 'Happy Ending Massage' but had never been bold enough to get one. She clapped her hands with glee, said 'Done!' but then added "but only if I can watch!' which of course I agreed to. I was excited by the thought of some young babe rubbing her oily hands and body over me and if my wife wanted to watch then that was even better. Maybe she could learn something, or ... well, who knew how this could end up?!

So a week later on my birthday my wife duly presented me at breakfast with a gift voucher for 'The Bangkok Special' at the local massage parlor. It was just something she'd mocked up on the computer because, as she explained, the parlor couldn't really acknowledge they did 'sextras.' But she assured me she'd been in personally and arranged {wink wink} 'everything'. 

The massage was booked for lunchtime and couldn't come soon enough. I'd taken the day off work, as I always do on my birthday, and we decided to have lunch after the 'Bangkok Special' because my wife said massages were more relaxing if you didn't have a full stomach. I bowed to her experience and off we went. I had a big grin on my face and couldn't believe my wife was going to do this for me (although we did use to joke that when we got older she would just outsource the sex to 'the hired help'). 

We parked the car and she held my hand and walked with me to the front door of the Massage Parlor. We paused momentarily and looked at each other, both thinking the same unspoken question: 'are we really doing this?' I laughed, took a deep breath, and then boldly stepped inside. The manager/madam greeted us warmly and with a twinkle in her eye said "So this is the Birthday Boy? We've been expecting you..."

With an arm outstretched she ushered me towards the masseuse, who was waiting topless with a big smile outside the door to a small room adjacent the foyer. Inside the room I could see a shower and an oversize massage table that looked more like a bed. But already I knew I couldn't go through with it, and when I looked back at my wife her face confirmed I'd made the right decision.  

So... why couldn't I go through with it?
[Answer after the image]

Okay, firstly I'm well aware that this is not a Riddle but a Shaggy Dog Story. On Tuesday it was only a paragraph long, which is probably as long as you can go with a riddle, but since I had a whole column today I embellished it a little. Okay, more than a little - which makes it a Shaggy Dog Story. But like a Riddle it has a groan inducing lame punchline, which is this: I couldn't go through with it because the masseuse was a male - and I'm straight. When I looked back at my wife's face she was laughing her ass off because she'd planned the whole thing.

In keeping with the Shaggy Dog element I suppose I should go on... she then said that since she'd paid good money for a 'Happy Ending' massage it would be a shame to waste it - so she would take the booking for herself! And in she went, with the hot young masseuse leading the way. I told her this was the worst birthday present ever but she just laughed. 

"It's going to get a whole lot worse my pet," she said "you have to come in and watch him do me - that was the deal, remember?"

I told her that was not the deal but she just laughed scornfully and told me to sit down, shut up, and watch how a real man does it. When I didn't move quick enough she slapped me across the face, which jolted me back to earth - I quickly sat down on a plastic stool in the corner of the small massage room. "Good boy" she said, her eyes smiling now as she disrobed.

I sat there and watched, silently fuming, but did nothing. I was impotent - in spirit at least, since I had a massive hard on watching a man half my age rub his oily hands all over my wife's fulsome breasts. My wife noticed immediately and taunted me mercilessly - until his fingers worked their way down to her vulva for the Main Event. She wasn't quiet for long and now it was he that was merciless. Unrelenting he pried at least three orgasms from her cruel cunt before the hour was up.

Clearly this was something from her Bucket List, not mine, and her cuckold fantasies had been well and truly ignited. On the drive home she told me that she would be bringing two of her male co-workers home on Friday for some very special after work 'cocktails' - and that I would have to serve the drinks! She said if I did a good job she would invite my Boss over the following weekend so she could 'convince' him I deserved a promotion.

"He's had his eyes on me for ages" she giggled, "so I think it's time we showed him why you're due a little pay rise. Let him see what he can get for a few dollars more in your pay packet each week..." her voice trailed off as her hand snaked over the stick shift to feel the erection throbbing between my legs "...but you'll have to give the money to me, of course - since I'm the one who will have earned it. In a way it will kind of be like you're the one who's paying me to fuck your Boss, won't it?"

As we pulled into the driveway my wife turned to face me. "You know what?" she said, rhetorically, "that masseuse had great hands - wonderful hands! - and he got me off beautifully ... in a way you never could" (she added, for good measure) "but he didn't fuck me - and I really need to be fucked. So I'll tell you what..." she paused again, for effect, "we're going to go inside and I'm going to lie down naked on the bed so I don't have to see you. You're gonna take off all your clothes and then rub baby oil all over your tiny cock, which you're then gonna slide all up and down and over my ass. Then I'm gonna let you fuck me... After all, it is your birthday!"

Yes it was. Worst birthday ever.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

#WickedWednesday - A Sinful Sunday

We had sex on Sunday night. It went down like this....

There's a side story about this image I'll tell at the end...
So on Sunday we had lunch downtown at 12.30pm with a couple my wife knows. The woman is like my wife - very rich and with a partner who earns nothing but keeps her happy. The food was good and I had two beers while they polished of two bottles of French champagne. Or three. At 3.30pm I was looking at my watch and wondering when the fuck we were gonna get out of here because I had other things to do.

Like watching paint dry.

We didn't get out of there until 4.30pm, with a bill so expensive there was no argument about who would pay. The ladies agreed to split it. So off we went, back to our cars. Or so I thought.

About two minutes after leaving the first restaurant/bar we then passed another one - one that my wife's friend had not been to. Given that it had recently been anointed 'hot right now' status my wife took the opportunity for a power play: "Oh darling you have to see it, I know the owner, he's done a fabulous job setting it up, lets go in for a quick drink"

This surprised me because my wife hardly knows the owner at all, other than that she goes there occasionally (my wife knows all the hotspots and rotates through them) and also because we were supposed to be having dinner with another couple at their home - and we'd been told to come sometime between 5.30-6pm. When someone invites you that early it's because they want you out early.

By the time we got a table and the drinks menu it was 4.45pm. Although I already knew her promise of a 'quick drink' was BS, my wife confirmed it by ordering another bottle of French champagne.

That was it, I was done. I did not want to sit through another minute more of my wife and her friend trying to one up each other as to who was more fabulous. Besides, my wife was drunk (boisterous, not messy) and I knew this was going to get messy. So I told them I was going home to check on our daughter (since we hadn't seen her all day) and I would come back at 5.30pm to pick my wife up and take her to her other friends for dinner.

By the time I got home there was a text from my wife telling me that I didn't have to come back because the other couple would drop her home. That was great because it meant I could just sit at home and wait, rather than drive to pick her up and wait there - because she hadn't finished her drink and wasn't ready to go yet. Which is what usually happens.

So at 6.15pm my wife calls me, with drunken instructions to fetch a bottle of her favorite red wine and meet her at her friends house for dinner because the other couple were going drive her straight there, since she was already late. Oh, and could I bring a bottle of chilled champagne too please because the other couple are going to come for dinner too and they need to turn up with something. "Have they been invited?" I asked.

No, they hadn't but my wife was sure it would be fine, and besides that was what the French champagne was for.

So I did what I was told, and met them outside the friends house and passed over the champagne so they could hand it over as a peace offering for crashing the dinner party. We walked up to the front door, which opened before we could ring the bell, because we were very very late and... let's just say the hostess did little to hide her annoyance. Which was made worse when my wife gleefully announced she'd bought two extras for dinner.

My wife had said the two women knew each other so it wouldn't be a problem but the hostess was throwing so many daggers I wondered if there had been some bad blood my wife didn't know about. Whatever the case it was a quick dinner because the meal had to be cut six ways not four, and there  was no dessert.  At 9pm my wife opened another bottle of wine, which I took as my cue to GTFO. I said I was going home, thanked the hostess, and asked if the other couple would drop my wife home later.

She arrived home at 10.15 (we didn't live far) and then proceeded to ask me WTF was the problem with her friend? I told her it was very rude to turn up so late and bring another couple to the dinner. Being drunk my wife got all defensive and we kept going back and forth about it, until our daughter screamed "you're drunk Mom, can you please go somewhere else if you want to keep talking." (This was said as she tried to shrug off her mother who was attempting to cuddle her daughter and tell her what a great kid she was and how much she loved her. Ordinarily this is a good thing but my wife was doing it in the same way you tell someone you just met in a bar three hours earlier what a fucking awesome person they are because they like the same sports team as you).

So I dragged my wife up to bed (I told you there was sex) and lay there for an hour while she continued to tell me in excruitiating detail all about her friends and the interpersonal dynamics they shared and why she thought... long story short she bitched about both of them and gave me dirt on all three of them. Yes, somehow another women who wasn't even there for any of it today got dragged into the mix. As you can imagine, after an hour I was completely over it so when she paused to go to the bathroom I snuck out and went to the basement movie room.

By 1am I had graduated to watching porn and jerking off. I was just about ready to pop but decided that my fucking wife needed to be a little less self centered and a little more empathetic about the needs of others, including her friends but especially me. I was riled up and not thinking straight - by which I mean I thought it would be a good idea to march back up to the bedroom and wake her up and tell her to suck my dick.

That might learn her something!

I was so riled up I actually did it.

I marched upstairs, only to discover she was in bed, still awake, and reading her Kindleporn. All the lights were out, except for the dull blue glow of her iPad. "Oh, you're up?" I said gruffly as I stomped past her and went to the bathroom. Afterwards I washed my hands and my dick (I'm not an animal!) and returned to bed sans pants. She barely had time to say "oh" before I was stepping up onto the bed and straddling her face.

She was already propped upright with pillows behind her for support so when I stood in front of her her mouth was in the perfect position. "Is this dessert?" was all she could say before I slid my dick into her mouth. She barely had time to lick her lips before I started fucking her face. With one hand on the wall for support and the other on the back of her head, I slid my hard cock back and forth in and out of her warm wet mouth.

She was cradling my balls with her fingers and slurping wetly all over my dick, making appreciative 'mmmmm nghnngnn mmmm' noises as she sucked my cock deeply. I could feel I was getting ready to come so I picked up the pace and really started fucking her face hard.  She seemed quite happy with the way she was being treated, but it wouldn't be until Monday that I learned why (see the list of dirty stories she bought on Saturday here). In hindsight I can only conclude she'd been reading about rough savage sex.

Which was precisely what I was delivering.

I continued to pound her face with my thick cock but when I heard her gagging I pulled out and started jacking off instead. She wasn't having it and almost instantly tried to start sucking it again. She made an O with her mouth and locked her lips tightly around the head of my cock as I pumped in and out of her wet hole. It felt good and I was ready to cum, which is precisely what I did next - pausing only to realize that we'd never done it like this before. The stars were well and truly aligned that night - she was sitting at the right height and I was standing at the right angle, so that when I fucked her mouth it was like fucking a tight wet pussy. One I could grip with both hands...

I flooded her mouth with my cum, ejaculating in several spurts. Normally I tend to pull out politely but on Sunday night I gave her no quarter. I cradled her head in my hands and continued to pump until I was spent. When I was finally done I just stood there, with my dick still in her mouth. Resting. "Do you want a tissue?" was all I said, as I slowly withdrew. She didn't reply, but pointedly made a loud gulping sound as she swallowed my load - something she doesn't often do.

We snuggled down into the horizontal position after that and she told me what a beautiful cock I had and how much she loved it in her mouth. Which is good because I'm fine with fucking her like that again, anytime the mood takes her...


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday