Monday, December 31, 2018

Paying for Sex at Xmas! ~ Part 3

In Part One I explained how I came to decide I would pay for sex with a prostitute, and in Part Two I explained what it was like the day I went to the brothel and what happened once I got inside. This is the final part - where I explain what happened in 'the bedroom'. The previous parts lead into this part so read them first, or not.

This is a model not a sex worker, but a good approximation of the woman I met.
Except she wore off-white and smiled more. And her hair was little shorter.
The woman never asked for my name and nor did she offer me any name to call her by. As I said, her English was not good. She gave me a big welcoming hug, a friendly kiss, and called me Daddy - which took me aback a bit. Later I would learn she was saying Darling, not Daddy.

After I had showered she dried me off with a towel and motioned me towards the bed. I lay down on my side and looked at her. She smiled back at me as she removed her sheer off-white chemise baby doll dressing gown. She looked great with it on and great with it off, but I had little time to take in her body. She immediately climbed onto the foot of the bed and crawled up on all fours, catlike. She came up close and then plopped herself down next to me.

With her body pressed firmly against me she trailed a finger from below my belly button all the way up to my face, flicking my chin. I don't know if it was her, or just me being so nervous (which surprised me, since I consider myself both street and worldly wise) but all her movements thus far had seemed like she was working off a run sheet. But she did seem genuine and sincere in her efforts, which I appreciated.

With her head propped up on her crooked elbow she smiled and asked me in broken English "You want massage?" Her hand trailed all the way back down my body, past my belly button, but stopping short of going any further.

The inference was clear, and I'm sure many clients prefer to skip the massage and get straight to the sex, but I actually love getting massaged. I respond well to physical touch and crave sensuality. The two combined are wonderful. In my own marriage there isn't much of that anymore. My wife seems to prefer to get straight to the sexual foreplay, and doesn't like much of that either. One could perhaps argue she wants the sex over and done with quickly?

So I rolled over and lay on my front and the woman began running her hands all over my body. She knew what she was doing and her fingers felt great as she worked them into my shoulders. I groaned and melted. As she continued her way around my body I tried to clear my mind. Why was I so nervous, so apprehensive? Why did I care if she was 'into it' or not? When I see a dental hygienist I don't worry about whether she likes looking inside people's mouths all day, I just want her to clean and scale my teeth.

As I lay there with a naked woman rubbing and squeezing me intimately I realized what the real issue was... 

I had performance anxiety.

For the last few years as my sex life waned I had blamed it all on my wife. The problem was that she didn't want sex as much as I did. Her libido was gone. The problem was that when we did have sex it was fraught with anxiety. Did she really want to fuck me or was she just performing her 'wifely duties'?  I knew she read non-vanilla erotica but when I tried anything non-vanilla she never said 'that was great'. She never said 'No, I don't like that' either - she just never gave any response. 

She orgasmed but she would almost keep that to herself. I would bellow and roar and say "I'm cumming!" but all she would do is moan and groan quietly at the end. Maybe those climaxes weren't real, I'd often wondered, because if they were then surely she'd want more sex than less? And as our sex life dribbled to a halt I was left with the final awful thought...

What if the problem was me, not her?

I wasn't a young man anymore. My cock was hard but not as stiff as those young studs one sees in the porn clips online. Or reads about in Literotica. I have no trouble staying hard but it takes me much longer to climax. And when I do cum I no longer spurt hot jets of pulsing lava 'into her womb'. I can cum on her tits but I can no longer 'spray her décolletage'. It's 50/50 now that I can come from vaginal penetration any more, and lately it seems like I'm always finishing by jacking myself off over her tits or ass. 

Maybe the problem is me, not her?

I'd come to this brothel with some sort of fairyland idea that I could get an 'independent appraisal' from a sex professional. That we'd fuck and it would be awesome and that would prove I was indeed a fully functioning lover and therefore the problem was my wife, not me. But what if I had the same issues now as I did with my wife? 

That would be crushing, wouldn't it?

Mixed in with this was the realization that I was now at 'the Last Chance Saloon'. When I'd paid for sex previously it was when I was much younger and I had options. Sure, I was paying for sex but only because I'd chosen it as an experience. If I'd wanted to I could have easily picked up someone at a bar, or fucked my girlfriend, or fucked one of my girlfriend's girlfriends. Back then I had options - but that was no longer the case.

Now I was a fat fifty something white male who couldn't even get his wife of 25+ years to fuck him. No one else wanted to fuck me either. I was paying for sex because that was the only way I could get laid. If this didn't work then all that was left was a life of sexual solitary confinement. Masturbation. Suddenly I felt hopeless. Despair engulfed me. I was standing on the edge of the abyss and below me all I saw was blackness.

"Turn over" the 'masseuse' said, snapping me out of my inner monologue. "We fuck now. Time to fuck, yes?"

She was smiling encouragingly, and giggling.  

I rolled over, my limp cock dead to the world. 

"This is going to be interesting" I thought to myself, "what the fuck are we going to do now?"

I looked up at her and wondered if she could see the abject fear in my eyes. If she did she showed no sign of it. She smiled back at me brightly. It was a real smile but a fake smile. It was the same smile she'd given all the other men she'd seen that day. She didn't care that I was a fat fifty something white male who couldn't get a woman to fuck him. She didn't care that I wasn't hard.

She would take care of that. She would get me off. She was a professional, that was why she was here. That was what she was paid to do. She would make me erupt like a geyser, flooding her womb with my long thick sticky ropes of cum. I would make her climax so long and hard we'd go over the allotted hour at no extra charge.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself melting into the mattress. I imagined myself almost floating as she grabbed my cock in her hand and purred... 


I honestly thought I'd finish the story by the end of Part 3, and in a way I have. If you really want a Part 4 (The Sex) I'm happy to write it up (Update: I have). Or maybe you'd just prefer to imagine it in your head, maybe even imagining yourself as the skilled courtesan giving her lovers more than their moneys worth. It might be hotter as a fantasy than as the reality...

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Sunday, December 30, 2018

#SinfulSunday - Belated Xmas Sex

I'll spare you the blowjob pic, but let's just say my wife was {spoiler} orally fixated

You may have missed it in yesterday's post but hidden amongst the blogpost tags was 'we had sex'.

Yes, that's how I keep a record of how often my wife and I have sex. It may seem odd (or lame) but I was looking for a way to quantify how often (or not, as is the case) we had sex, and then Eureka! I figured this blog would be a great way to diarize it.

So I added the tag yesterday with the intention of writing it up in time for today but no such luck. That will come later when I have time. But it happened on Friday night (that's right, nothing at Xmas) and it was good to be sexually intimate again. My wife was drunk as (we'd been to a party), but horny, so I figured I would let her have her way with me.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

A Honey Birdette Xmas (belated)

All images © HoneyBirdette ~ find and follow them on Instagram and Twitter

This was going to be my Xmas post in case TMI Tuesday didn't happen (like the week before) but it did, so these are Christmas leftovers. 

The craziness of Tumblr's new stricter 'community guidelines' is exemplified by their blocking of the Honey Birdette images from Tuesday's post but allowing these ones above to be published (on Tumblr). It really makes no sense does it?

So... which of the above would you like to wear if you had the opportunity? Try to ignore the young thin and beautiful lingerie model and make your choice based on the lingerie itself. Or would you prefer something in red, as shown in Tuesday's post

(And if it isn't clear, Honey Birdette is the name of the lingerie brand, not the model, and you can buy their stuff online via the links above)

Thursday, December 27, 2018

ThrowbackThursday ~ True Blood - all that blood and sex!

Jo was a big fan of this TV show and wanted me to watch it with her, which wasn't possible since we lived in separate time zones. I watched a few episodes but I just couldn't get into it. She loved it - all that blood and sex!

Originally posted June 24, 2010 on my JJ&J blog

UPDATE: new video added to replace the one deleted. It approximates the original one

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Paying for Sex at Xmas! ~ Part 2

This is a model, not a sex worker. 
But this was the sort of Asian babe I was hoping for.

In Part 1 I recounted how two weeks ago I resolved that rather than suffer without sex I would pay for it. After 30 years together my wife and I have reached an impasse: I want to continue to be intimate but she doesn't want to have sex with me. Regular readers will know that we have talked through this issue many many times over the past decades and that although my wife always says the right thing there is no actual change.

One of my wife's strengths in business is that she knows how to manage people, and maneuver them to achieve the outcome she desires. This year I finally accepted that this is what she has been doing with me all along. I've long believed that actions speak louder than words, and in the last six months I've realized my wife is good with words but not with deeds.

This year we went to Europe for three weeks in July and did not have sex once, despite the many romantic locations. We didn't have sex before we went, and we didn't have sex when we got back.

But that's not the issue. Let's not debate whether I was 'justified' or not in making the decision to have sex with a prostitute, the fact is I decided I would so let's get to that part of the story...

Deciding to say "Yes!" to paying for sex was quite cathartic. I felt like I was finally being proactive - actually doing something about not getting enough sex, rather than being the morose complainer I've felt I've become on this blog this past year. All my posts have been about pretty much the same thing ('I'm not getting any - waaaahhh!') and even I've become bored with it.

So my morning was quite energized once I knew my wife was in a plane and on her way away for a few days. I decided I would strike while the iron was hot and have sex that day. Why wait?! Who knew what tomorrow would bring? Something to screw up my plans probably, so best I should have sex TODAY! Huzzah!! I was now A Man of Action!

So I texted the woman who had been rated so highly by others and asked if she was available for a massage. About 20 minutes later I got a reply. 'Jasmine' was unavailable due to 'her period' but there were plenty of other 'lovely ladies' available and I should come over anytime. Despite her web page seeming like it was hers, it became immediately clear it was really being run by the brothel and the number I'd contacted was not hers but theirs.

Which didn't matter. Since...

By now I was committed to having sex that day so I figured I would go and see what was on offer. If there was no-one there that I liked I would leave. I grabbed my wallet, jumped in the car, and ... sat there.

It was the middle of the afternoon. It was still daylight. I'm not driving across town to a known brothel (trust me, I'm not so naive as to think that the Police don't know what was going on), park on the street outside in broad daylight and saunter up to the front door. Well, the 'discrete entrance at rear' as their text told me. (Yes, I giggled when I saw that)

Actually the 'discrete entrance at rear' did make me contemplate requesting anal sex. If I was paying to 'dine out' I should have something not on the menu at home, shouldn't I? That would make sense!

I decided I would save that for the second visit. Best I get the lay of the land first, see what's what, and not bite off more than I could chew. The truth was I was now getting quite nervous. My stomach had serious butterflies, I was feeling nauseous, and I went the bathroom three times before setting off to the outer suburbs at 7pm. I drove with equal parts resolve and apprehension.

What if I couldn't perform? What if I shot my load in the first 5 minutes? What if the sex worker screwed up her face when she saw me, making it clear I was just another paying John? It all had the potential to be highly embarrassing. For me.

I circled the block twice before driving up the driveway and parking around the back. The house was indistinguishable from any other on the street. It was on a large lot, with many bedrooms and a thick hedge about 20 feet high surrounding the property - keeping out all the evil stares from the neighbors, I presumed. Well, thats what I told myself ("No-one can see me, no-one can see me!") as I walked up to the back door and pressed the buzzer.

There was big sign at the door, promising 'Chinese Healing Massage' in bold letters, and an almost life size anatomical chart of the human body - showing the nervous system and all the parts of the body that could be acupunctured to fix a variety of ailments. It looked so kosher I wondered what I was in for - was it a scam? Would I pay for a 'One hour full service massage' only to receive a massage and then be shown the door at minute 59?

The door opened and an old Chinese woman straight out of Central Casting beckoned me in immediately. As soon as I stepped across the threshold she grabbed my arm and yanked me inside, as if the Feds were watching. Not a good sign! She was probably in her late sixties (but looked older), spoke terrible English and I couldn't understand her at all. She ushered me down the hallway and I could tell it was indeed an old residential house. The bedrooms (doors closed) ran off the sides, and nothing had been done to the house to make it look like anything other than a five bedroom home. In need of repair.

She opened the door to one of the bedrooms and gestured for me to go inside. The room was spartan - a queen sized bed and a small single side table next to it. There was a wardrobe in the corner but that was it. I think she told me to sit down, so I did. She left the room and my immediate thought was "Holy fuck, what have you gotten yourself into Nero?"

I had anticipated that I would be shown a half dozen ladies in reception, like I had the last time I'd visited a brothel, and I'd get to choose the one I liked. But apparently not. Not here. Clearly they were going to bring me someone and that would be that. I reminded myself that I was the one paying for the service and resolved that if I wasn't happy with what I was given I should stand up and leave. Like I said, I was now A Man of Action!

Not quite. I immediately had a vision, fed by Hollywood stereotypes, of the old Chinese lady flying into a rage if I rejected her protege - and yelling and screaming at me in Chinese as she beat me around the head and kicked me out the door.

Which didn't happen. All that happened was that the old woman returned to the room and gave me a cup of Chinese tea.

"15 minutes!!" she said abruptly.

"I was wanting a whole hour actually" I replied.

"15 minutes! Lady ready in 15 minutes!" she said, just as abruptly.

She left the room and I sat there wondering what to do. Do I take my clothes off now or wait until the 'masseuse' arrived? It was all so different from the last time I'd paid for sex, and I was quite discombobulated. I decided the best course of action was to do nothing, so I drank my green tea.

Fifteen minutes later the woman entered the room again. "Come now" she said, gesturing for me to follow her. I got up and followed her down the hall, to another bedroom. She knocked on the door and an attractive young Asian woman opened it. She was Chinese, mid to late twenties, and had a big smile that didn't look too fake. She seemed pleased with what she saw, which only made me wonder what other guys she'd had to fuck that day.

I was equally pleased with what I saw. She had a good body, petite but perfectly proportioned.

She ushered me into the room and motioned for me to get on the bed. Her English was as bad as the old woman's and it turned out I was meant to stand by the bed, not sit on it. She gave me a big welcoming hug, a friendly kiss, and called me Daddy - which took me aback a bit. Later I would learn she was saying Darling, not Daddy.

She told me to take off my clothes and pointed at the shower in the corner of the room. It wasn't an ensuite, it was literally a shower cubicle plonked in the corner of the bedroom. It had just been installed there and I doubted it had planning approval! I didn't want to have a shower since I had naively had one at home before coming because, erm, thats what one does before a 'date'. So I had a very quick rinse, just to be polite, and when I emerged she was there with a towel and commenced patting me dry.

'Hmmmm' I thought to myself, 'this really is full service'


As you can see we have run out of time due to my long meandering story telling. I'm genuinely sorry, I was hoping to tell it in two parts but it looks like we will have to save the sex for Part 3 (Final). That will come on Friday Monday because its Christmastime and I don't have time to finish it before then. Sorry.


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ TMI for the Holidays 2018

All images © HoneyBirdette ~ find and follow them on Instagram and Twitter

It’s official – For the first time in 8 years they actually forgot to post TMI Tuesday. That was last week but don't worry, I posted my own and you can read it here. Which brings us to today, Christmas Day!
Life is very hectic right now. For many of you, this time of year may be “hectic holidays”. Well, if you have a little time you can play the following TMI Tuesday any time, any day. Happy Holiday Season!

1. Are you celebrating or have you celebrated any holidays this December 2018?
~ You mean Hanukkah or Kwanzaa? No. I was raised Catholic - but lapsed during puberty. Now I'm an atheist.

2. Describe your typical holiday celebration.
~ In the morning we exchange gifts between the family, which doesn't take long since its just me, my wife, and my daughter. At lunchtime we usually have my family over for Xmas lunch because my wife's family always claim the dinner slot almost very year. Which used to annoy my mother greatly, especially since my mother in law would insist we get over to her house by 4pm so we could help prepare their Christmas dinner for my wife's family. My wife's parents never liked me for the first 7 years (now they tolerate me) so that transferred to my parents ie we've never ever had a combined family Christmas dinner or lunch.

3. Now tell us how you really would like to spend your holiday season.
~ I have tried at various times to 'arrange' to be out of the country but each time we were thwarted. Once by the cruise company bouncing us to a January sailing and twice by my wife deciding we would be staying because half her family were flying in from great distances.

4. This time of year broadcast TV is filled with Christmas movies. What is your favorite Christmas movie?
~ Sorry, don't have one. Never had time to watch a Christmas movie anyway.

5. Does your place of work do a gift exchange or secret santa? Do you participate? What gift did you buy to giveaway this year? What gift did you get?
~ I am 'retired' so no office party hijinks for me. My wife however did buy every man and their dog a present this year because she loves sharing her largesse. This often causes embarrassment for the recipient who didn't know they were exchanging gifts*, had no gift for her, and aren't sure why she would be so generous anyway since they're not her close friends. (*Indeed, even if it was expressly agreed beforehand that we would not be exchanging gifts my wife would buy them gifts anyway)

Bonus: Have you been naughty or nice?
~ Well, yesterday's post Paying For Sex at Xmas! might be a bit of a spoiler but... I have been naughty. Part 2 posts tomorrow.

Double Bonus: If you want more Christmas then click on the Xmas label/tag on your right. Or below. Or go straight to Sexy Xmas for the naughty pics (male & female)



How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, December 24, 2018

Paying for Sex at Xmas!

Christmas is a stressful time for many people, me included, but this year it's been even worse. The latter part of this year has been an awakening for me - I've realized my wife just does not want to have sex with me - and will most likely not ever want to have sex with me. Not unless I lose a third of my body weight, work out, and achieve the toned look of a thirty year old surfer.

This is a model, not a sex worker.
Besides, I can't afford sex workers who look like models.
Our sex life has been very sporadic and we haven't had any sexual intimacy since last October. It reads well (see here) but I found the sex soulless rather than hot. The connection between my wife and I has become quite tenuous. We coexist in our house - she does her thing, I do mine - and we intersect as required. But not sexually.

With my sex life reduced to equally sad and soulless masturbation, I resolved that the only person who could fix things was me. I needed to take action! Two weeks ago I saw my opportunity to finally get laid - something I've been craving for the longest time. My wife was heading out of town for a few days, going to another city on a business trip, and I had decided to bite the bullet: I was going to pay for sex!

I've never been opposed to prostitution in principle (see here) and although I know there is a lot of exploitation in the industry, I also know that there's a lot of women who are happily making a living from it. It's been a long time since I visited a prostitute (see here link not found) and although the experience wasn't great (it was also rather soulless - the girl was nice but too young) I figured it was a better option than remaining down-in-the-dumps.

A quick internet search not only revealed a bunch of 'massage parlors' in my city but also a review site that listed various women at various parlors who performed various services. It was like Yelp for sex, with guys rating the women they had paid to have sex with. The reviews were respectful and it was nice to see that I wasn't the only horny guy in town who was sad enough willing to pay for it.

One Asian lady was well liked and I figured it would be good to choose someone who was an immigrant with English as a second language. I live in a big city but Murphy's law means its not so big I wouldn't run into her after we'd done the deed. That happened to me once when I was much much younger: I was visiting a small town on business and got myself a 'happy ending' massage. She was a super cute redheaded Uni student with a hot bod and it was fantastic. I got a great massage, hand relief, and felt thoroughly de-stressed afterwards.

The next day she popped up at the same work function I attended. We were forced to interact with each other for some time, and throughout it all neither of us mentioned what had happened the night before. It possible she may not have remembered me but I doubt it - I was young thin and good looking back then!

Now I'm an old fat fifty-something cliche: "my wife doesn't want to have sex with me anymore and has simply left me to wither and die on the vine!" The younger generation might perhaps say my wife has ghosted me, sexually.

And so it was I found myself going to an ATM machine to pull out $200, before heading out to the suburbs to a large residential house that was in fact an illicit secret brothel. Did I go in or did I chicken out?

I'll give you that story on #Wicked Wednesday (since tomorrow is #TMI Tuesday) but until then check out my blog posts tagged/labelled prostitutes. Feel free to share your views on prostitution in the comments section below.

And... Merry Xmas!


UPDATE: You can read the entire story here: Part 1Part 2, and Part 3.
This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Sunday, December 23, 2018

#SinfulSunday - Swinging

My wife has just told me we have to visit someone 'for drinks' the day after Xmas and that another couple will be there. A couple in which the man convinced his wife to make their relationship 'open' because they weren't having much sex (2 young kids) and he really craved more than she was able to provide. She finally agreed, found her niche, and now she's having more sex than he is!  Her life has been 'opened up' alright and he can't deal with it!

Which is exactly why I haven't gone that route with my wife either. I may not be getting much/any sex now, but I know if we tried swinging she'd be getting fucked left right and center and I'd still be getting none. (There's not much demand for overweight men over fifty with an average size cock, is there? That's what they're getting at home!)

I know absolutely that swinging would not be good for my mental health. It would do my head in to see my wife 'back in the saddle' so to speak, after telling me for so many years that she's just not into sex anymore. Sorry, but I'm just not that evolved to deal with it.

Anyway, this swinging couple is the same one I have previously mentioned here -  when my wife went to a conference solo and got up to the hijinks she usually gets into when I'm not there. Seriously, every three years she takes me to a BNG conference to prove there's nothing happening, and then after that she's off again on her own once or twice a year. What she doesn't grasp is that when I do go I invariably hear about all the hijinks of previous conferences, my wife included (not from her, of course).

So it might get interesting at these post Xmas drinks. I may or may not find an opportunity to ask them about their 'lifestyle'. Maybe it will come up, maybe it won't. Maybe I'll have too much to drink and bring it up anyway - bwahahahaha!

Image credits: Both of the images above are created by Tom Starling © He is amazing and you can follow him on Twitter @oh_tom_starling . He does commissions, so you can give him a picture of yourself and/or your partner and he will produce something fantastic!

Saturday, December 22, 2018

#SoSS - I’m not an Australian!

When I posted this on twitter some people thought it meant I was from Australia.

I know a lot of women have been damaged by prostitution, but others haven’t. I suspect the damage is caused by exploitation and its illegality. In countries where it is legal, like Australia, some women have found a niche for themselves in legal sex work and are ... well, it’s not for me to explain, it’s not my story.

You can see the video by looking Jenna up on Twitter @jennahasredhair - you can’t see it on YouTube because they closed her account as soon as she posted it. You can watch people get shot and killed on YouTube but not a woman performing in a non pornographic show reel - go figure!

I tagged this post #SoSS because I have found Jenna Love's twitter feed quite fascinating. She has her own web page which includes lots of helpful info for people wanting to use engage sex workers.

Tune in on Monday for my post about my recent visit to a back alley brothel...

Friday, December 21, 2018

#FetishFriday with Ave

A collection of harness lingerie from Ave (@ave_harness on Instagram) now in the new Tumblr friendly format! A bit late for Xmas (see their Insta bio for purchase details) but maybe with all that Xmas money you'll after you've returned all those lame gifts you got this year...?!

all images © @ave_harness

Thursday, December 20, 2018

#TBT #ThrowbackThursday ~ 2010

From a May 13, 2010 blog I recently re-discovered...

While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper softly in her ear. 
While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND and INSULT her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is. 
W hile you HURT your woman, there's a man wishing he could make love to her. 
While you make your woman CRY, there's... a man stealing smiles from her.

It was a blog I wrote that I'd forgotten about - lost in the mists of CyberSpace! 

Do you want to see more from this blog? It will take some re-editing/censoring since it contains a lot of secret stuff. Most of it is pretty embarrassing - like a photo with an old haircut, from High School.

NB:- the quote above was from something I shared on Facebook that my online girlfriend liked. I didn't write it (author unknown).

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

#SoSS - The Ax falls on #Tumblr ~ PART 4 (Final)

Monday saw the introduction of Tumblr's 'new guidelines' relating to 'Adult Content' on their social media platform.  The images below are undoubtedly more sexual than the ones I showed you in the previous parts, but I still struggle to see what harm they are likely to do. Again I have to wonder what religious wowser was in charge of setting the algorithm that decides what can and can't be seen.

Yes, she's a swimsuit model - and yet Tumblr have banned this image.
An image previously published on Instagram, a platform that used to be stricter that Tumblr!
Yes, she's wearing latex rubber (or is it PVC?) but FFS it's no worse than a
swimsuit or lingerie model. Oh, wait! - we ban those too now (see above)

There is a lot of talk online about moving to a new social media platform that lovers of 'adult content' can indulge their kinky little fetishes in but as of yet none have emerged as the definitive 'go-to' app. If you're gonna flash your nude selfies online you do it because you want to be seen by millions, not by a thousand or so on some fledgling app.

Like the images shown in Part 1 , Part 2 , and Part 3, these images above were also flagged blocked by Tumblr. You won't see them unless you go to my specific Tumblr account apparently, making it very much like being shadow banned by Twitter or Instagram. (Which is why people are still seeking a new platform)

As I also mentioned in Part 2 ... by the time you read this I will have likely changed my Tumblr user name to NeroTweetsHere so that people on Tumblr know where to find me... because I'll likely be a #TumblrRefugee


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ : October 31, 2017 ~ Let’s do this (Finally)

As of Tuesday morning there were no TMI questions posted this week.
Maybe it will turn up later in the day?
In the meantime here's one I found still sitting in my drafts folder...

1. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?
~ probably whatever has been discussed on the Talk radio station I'm listening to at the time. There are two I listen to in particular, that I flip between as soon as the ads come on. This is how I consider myself informed on what the general populace is thinking

2. What advice do you have for your previous lover?
~ Live your life for yourself and don't try to be something that you're not - especially if you're doing it to please your partner. It's unsustainable.

3. What inspires you?
~ I guess I am 'uninspired' since I don't do the 'inspirational thing'. I don't have motivational or aspirational art on the walls. I don't have any inspirational mantras that I repeat in to myself in the morning as I start each new day, and I certainly don't post quotes on Facebook or Instagram. 
But when I hear a story about someone (famous or not) who has done something good I think to myself "that's great, good on them, I hope I can do something similar one day"

4. If you were to get rid of one person in your life, who would it be and why?
~ I can't think of anyone at all that I dislike that much and want 'out of my life'. I did recently defriend someone on Facebook, which is a first for me. It was during my European vacation and as I posted photos of my travels they started commenting on each image about how much carbon I'd used to get there and asked if was I doing anything to mitigate my planet killing footprint. They weren't trolling, they were serious, but after the fourth comment I thought "f#çk it, I don't actually know you in real life, I don't need this shit" so I 'got rid of them.'

5. How do you cope when your level of sexual desire doesn’t match your partners?
~ Ha! I've blogged on this a few times. It took me a while but I finally realized there isn't anything I can really do to make my wife want more sex with me. All I can do is try and read her moods better and 'strike' when she is 'ready'. It also means I now have to masturbate more, which also poses problems because I have to try and forecast when she might be amenable to sex and then jerk off well before then. If I time it wrong I jerk off and then she wants sex that night or the next day, meaning I'm not at the top of my game (remember, we're both over fifty).

Bonus: Are you single, why? Are you married, why?
~ I am married. Because we had been together seven years so I decided to propose. She said yes. And we got married seven years after that. And then seven years after that we had a daughter. And seven years after that our daughter was seven. Seven years from now our daughter will be long gone from the house, and I have no idea if I will still be married by then. My wife could well be the type who deals with 'empty nest syndrome' by ditching her husband and starting a whole new life. She has the money for it.

Double Bonus: Tumblr have taken a tougher line on 'Adult content' as of yesterday, which has led to some spectacular fails. See them all: Part 1 , Part 2 , and Part 3


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, December 17, 2018

#SoSS - The Ax falls on #Tumblr ~ PART 3

As many of you will know, today saw the introduction of Tumblr's 'new guidelines' relating to 'Adult Content' on their social media platform. It was supposed to commence on December 17 (today) but people who were queueing posts in advance would have noticed that Tumblr were also flagging images in advance. I pointed this out on Saturday in Part 1 - and yesterday's post (Part 2) was actually published just before I drafted this post (and then back dated, oh! the magic of the internet).

Like the images shown in Part 2, these images were also flagged blocked by Tumblr. You won't see them unless you go to my specific Tumblr account apparently, making it very much like being shadow banned by Twitter or Instagram.  Looking at these images I fail to see what is dangerous about them, and I have to wonder what religious wowser was in charge of setting the algorithm that decides what can and can't be seen.

As I also mentioned in Part 2 ... by the time you read this I will have likely changed my Tumblr user name to NeroTweetsHere so that people on Tumblr know where to find me... because I'll likely be a #TumblrRefugee

This is 50s pinup art by Earl Moran - the model is a young pre-famous Marilyn Monroe

This image is a parody of an Oreo cookies ad - is it really injurious to society?

see also: Part 1 , Part 2 , and Part 3


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

#SoSS - The Ax falls on #Tumblr ~ PART 2

The following images have been 'hidden from view' on my Tumblr account, despite Tumblr expressly saying that classic art would not be included in their new stricter guidelines relating to 'adult content'. It's similar to being 'shadow banned' - you can post it but no one will see it.

Clearly they have no idea what they are doing... I suspect the platform will take a huge dive in their fortunes as users depart in droves, unable to deal with the madness of their 'Community Guidelines.'

By the time you read this I will have likely changed my Tumblr user name to NeroTweetsHere so that people on Tumblr know where to find me... #TumblrRefugee

Departure of the Witches, 1878 by Luis Ricardo Falero.

Two Nudes By Roy Lichtenstein

see also:  Part 1 , Part 2 , and Part 3

Saturday, December 15, 2018

#SoSS - The Ax falls on #Tumblr

At the beginning of December Tumblr announced a big change to their policies regarding 'Adult Content' - namely that it would be banned as of December 17th. Tumblr claimed it was no real change, just a 'tightening up' of their existing policy but anyone who's had a Tumblr account knows that that is BS ('bullshit'). There was a huge number of people posting topless or nude pics and those, we were told, would no longer be allowed after December 17.

Which lead to a small avalanche of people departing for Twitter, since that seems to be the last major social media platform that will let you post adult content (albeit with some caveats). The departure led to its own hashtag, #TumblrRefugee, as account holders let their followers know where they were going ie their new Twitter address.

The ax fell early it seems - #FreeTheNipple!!
For my part I started dumping all the x-rated posts I had in my Tumblr queue, which led to a slight problem in my Twitter account since I'd forgotten they crossposted there. So, lots of porn on my Twitter feed now! It was exasperated by me thinking I'd switched off the app that crossposts my stuff, when in fact I hadn't.

Anyway, for everyone interested in 'censorship' (hence the #SoSS hashtag for this post) you will be thrilled to know that Tumblr have jumped the gun on their own policy change and started early.

I've just looked at my Tumblr account and discovered that Tumblr are already hiding my posts on the grounds that they contravene their new policy. Interesting. I thought it was happening December 17 but apparently not. They started it this morning - maybe their porn police bot doesn't know its the weekend?

I guess I'll find out on Monday what has happened to my Tumblr account. Maybe it will still be there - with posts that no-one can see - or or maybe it won't. No-one is really sure if they're going to terminate our accounts or slap a permanent shadow ban on us.

Time will tell.

For anyone that cares, my Tumblr account is NeroTumblesHere and my Twitter account is NeroTweetsHere. You are currently reading my blog at NeroBlogsHere. If any of you are new to social media might I suggest something that no-one told me: try to choose a name that is available on ALL the major social media platforms. Having a different name for each is a really dumb idea, since people expect you to have the same 'address' everywhere.

My user name on Instagram is there's another one as well!

see also: Part 1 , Part 2 , and Part 3


via Instagram

Repost from @altarmag - Nadja Auermann by Luigi + Iango⠀ ⠀
Photography: @luigiandiango⠀
Styling: @patti_wilson⠀
Model: @nadjaauermann⠀
Makeup: @_virginiayoung_⠀
Hair: @luigimurenu⠀ ⠀
Outfit: Miu Miu, Cadolle, Just Cavalli⠀
Corset: @mayahansen ⠀
Worship at the Altar:⠀⠀ ⠀

#altarmag #postfetish #fetishfashion #avantgarde #alternative #fashion #fashionphotography #fashionshoot #fashioneditorial #fetishphotography #corset #futuristic #futuristicfashion #trenchcoat #raincoat #nylon #stockings #moda #фетиш #мода #ファッション #フェチ 

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

#TMITuesday ~ December 11, 2018 : Random Stuff

Hello there again. Welcome to TMI Tuesday blog and questions about... Random Stuff

1. Which do you make more of phone calls or text messages?
~ about 50/50. But I make very few of either.

2. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
~ No, because I am not 13 years old and about to talk to a girl.

3. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

  • Travel
  • Our daughter

4. Name three things about which you and your partner completely disagree and often causes arguments.

  • Sex (but we don't discuss that anymore)
  • Money (save it or spend it?)
  • Who's in charge (not much discussion on that anymore either - its her way or the highway)

5. 74 percent of couples bought a brand new mattress when they began their relationship. As you embark on a serious relationship would you request your significant other buy a new mattress or would you buy a new mattress if the s.o. asked you to do so?
~ I've only had one and yes we bought a new mattress. If I had a new partner and she asked me to get a new bed I would say "why, what's wrong with this one?" If she said "because you and your wife used to sleep/fuck in this one" I would think she was crazy. I would suggest we 'exorcize' the demon of my previous relationship by holding a sex marathon in it to purge the spirits out.

Bonus: If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about your future, what would you want to know?
~ Very spooky since today someone did an Astrology reading for me. I had to give my date of birth, where I was born, and time of birth. The results struck a few nerves but about half way through I realized I was born at 7 in the morning, not the evening, so maybe that meant what he told me wasn't right?
I asked him about my wife but he was very circumspect since he was BFF with my wife's friend! (That's how I got the free reading). He did say that my wife had (and would continue to) cause me most of the suffering in my life. There's more to it than that but it was fascinating. I might get another one (with someone who speaks better English) using the right time of birth. And with someone who doesn't know my wife!!

Double Bonus: Did you read The Online Affair?


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sunday, December 9, 2018

#MasturbationMonday ~ The Online Affair

In the Real World you don't get to construct your Dream Lover - people come as they are and they may not be perfect.

Last week a ghost from the past came back to revisit me. A skeleton that I'd forgotten was hidden in the closet suddenly leapt out - and scared the bejesus out of me!

It was an old blog, one I thought had been deleted long ago. Actually I just forgot about it entirely, I hadn't deleted it, so the fault is mine. And to make matters worse it wasn't just a blog, it had various social media accounts attached - namely Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and a Photobucket account.

It was a blog from 2009 and it was about an online affair I was having. An intense sordid affair that didn't last long but burnt brightly before exploding like a Roman Candle (a firework) - leaving only a flickering flame, before that too slowly fizzled and died out.

So how did I rediscover that old blog?

I saw the URL for the facebook profile in the browser history on my wife's phone last week.

Yeah, let's pause a moment to reflect on that.

My wife was looking at a facebook profile I'd set up way back in 2009 - in the name of the person I'd set the blog up with (not my real name of course, duh). And if one went to that profile one would see blog posts from 2009-2010 crossposted to Facebook. A blog called The Online Affair no less!

A blog that shared the entire online relationship between two people who were married to other people.

FFS how stupid was I to put up that shit up online? Honestly, what.THE.FUCK.was.I.thinking????

Naturally as soon as my wife went to bed I rushed to my computer and spent a few hours recovering my old Gmail account, and then the passwords for the various social media accounts, and then I promptly shut them all down and deleted the blog. It's gone now. If my wife searches for it, or the name it was under, there's nothing. So there's that.

But other questions remain, the most obvious one being 'how long has she been aware of this?'

Which leads to the next one: 'and why has she never ever said anything?'

Regular readers of this blog are possibly now saying "Aha Nero! This explains why you haven't been having sex (or only having sporadic sex) with your wife for so long!" but there's more to it than that. Much more. I allowed myself to be seduced by this woman online (and to be very clear: I was a willing participant) because even back in 2009 I wasn't having much enough sexual intimacy with my wife.

You may not have noticed it, but for the past three months my heart has not been in this blog. I have had difficulty writing anything because I always come back to "what's the point? nothing has changed - you keep reliving the same problems that have always existed." And while many of you have been sympathetic, I totally understand how easy it is to lose interest with someone who complains all the time about the same damn problem(s).

For me it's like I've been living in some sort of goldfish bowl, only able to remember the most recent past. I keep thinking/hoping things will change when in fact this problem with my wife has been reoccurring throughout our entire marriage, continuously. Coming in waves, yes, but those waves are constant now.

I had already started to realize this blog was now really just the same ol' same ol' a few months ago. If I look back to November 11, 2015 (when I wrote Yes, this is my first post... WHY?) I realize I'm still in the same boat, still furiously trying to bail out the water so the ship doesn't sink. And even this blog (that you're reading now) is merely a continuation of one I had previously set up on Wordpress years earlier. [It got terminated due to 'pornographic content' (aka the same XXXX images you see on Twitter and Tumblr all the time) (albeit that Tumblr are nixing those too as of December 17, if you hadn't heard)].

And so now I've rediscovered yet another even earlier blog from 2009, also based on the same underlying problem: what do I do when my wife physically doesn't want have sex (as much) with me anymore? We've tried talking it out, we saw two different 'marriage counsellors', and yet nothing really changed. Honestly, the online affair was merely a symptom of the real problem. I foolishly thought I was being clever by only allowing myself to get involved with someone in cyberspace ('it's not RealWorld so its not cheating') and convinced myself that it was really just masturbation with modern technology.

But of course it was more than that because human emotions are involved. It's not at all the same as jerking off to some cam girl at $1.99 a minute. Or whatever they charge these days.

Anyway, today I sit in limbo. I've decided not to second guess myself. I'm not going to get stressed/sick  wondering what my wife knows, when she knew it, and when is she going to mention it? In the back of my mind I think I've seen that URL in her browser a long time ago. Just like when I saw it last week, I only got a fleeting glimpse of it then because she walked back into the room quickly (and when I looked again much later there was no history of it).

If she wanted to raise the subject she would have, just like if she wanted to tell me why she stopped wanting me physically/intimately she could have done that a long time ago too. She's had every opportunity, but she simply prefers/chooses not to discuss things.

Looking back on our 25+ years together I know we had good sex when we had sex. Like most people we had a lot of sex when we were younger, and less when we were older. I would have liked to have addressed that as partners, but we never did, despite the therapy sessions. But we continued on and we endured, like many other long marriages.

And as I look back at the past, and speculate on the future, I wonder what will happen when our daughter goes to University next year. If I'm to be honest I've always imagined that it would be when my wife ditched me and did the Eat, Pray, Love cliche: 'I'm going to travel the world, solo, I need to find myself.' It hasn't actually happened yet so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but if I'm to be totally honest then...

...I could have started a fourth blog on this recurring issue (the one that has sparked all the blogs) back in 1998.  Which is what is so depressing* - my life is going in circles and nothing really has changed. I've just gotten older and fatter. That's the wealth privilege I guess: my life is just as mundane as yours, I just get to eat out 4 nights a week if I want to, and travel more. I am generally very comfortable, and it's hard to give that up to find something else.  Besides, I am generally happy (*not depressed) with my life, my only discontent is with the lack of sexual intimacy with my wife.

So what to do? I can't demand/force her to have sex with me - and neither do I seek to. She is not my slave. So the mental adjustment must come from me. I have to make that mental adjustment just as I would if she'd become disabled in a car accident and physically wasn't able to have sex anymore.

I hope I'm not being overly melodramatic (or offensive) in saying that but take a moment to consider your own situation: if your life partner (yes, I'm assuming you have one in this scenario) said they still love you deeply but made it clear they no longer had any interest in you sexually (but would not say so expressly) then what would you do?

You might say "I will force the issue, I will demand we talk it out like adults, I will let him/her know how I feel because communication is the key to a lasting partnership" to which I reply "Bravo!" Good for you, you've started a dialogue. But your partner's most likely response is to apologize, agree there's an issue, and promise to try harder to meet your needs, because they love you, and yes the sex is great when we do it so really we should try to have more of it. And then he/she will try harder but sooner or later you will be back in the same rut. And you might have another discussion, and the promises will be remade, and the cycle continues until finally you stop bringing it up because its pointless because nothing is really changing.

I'll stop talking now because I myself am in a loop again - I could keep talking all day about this. Maybe I'll continue with a Part 2 on Wednesday, if I feel like it, or if I feel I have anything more to say. Or maybe not. Either way you may contribute your own views in the comments section below...


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!