Friday, September 21, 2018

#FetishFriday - Batman’s Dick

No, I'm not talking about Bruce Wayne's 'youthful ward' Dick Grayson a.k.a. Robin, the Boy Wonder.

A new Batman comic book reveals a new, darker side of the Dark Knight: the inside of his batsuit. Bruce Wayne's semi-flaccid member is revealed, lurking in the shadows of his exposed crotch, in a panel midway through the debut of a three-issue miniseries called Damned.

Much like the World's Greatest Detective stalking a criminal, it's a dick so sneaky you might miss it. To see it rush out and buy a copy of the comic since the online version has already been censored by DC. Future reprints of the comic will also be censored. Let me know in the comments how you rate his Batcock...

All images ©️ DC Comics





Thursday, September 20, 2018

I can picture a few online friends in this jacket 🤔🔥


via Instagram

I can picture a few of my online friends in this jacket 🤔🔥

Photo: @mistresstt.s © [Insta]

Go to her profile and worship her!

#boobs #booty #ass #beautiful #booty #butt #leatherjacket #sexybra #

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

#WickedWednesday ~ Rimjobs


I enjoy a rimjob but my wife never does it like this - she thinks it’s too ‘unnatural’! 

She prefers me flat on my back with my legs spread... maybe she’s imagining she's eating out a woman? I really don't know and I'm not going to jinx it by asking. Sometimes she shoves a pillow under my ass so she can really go to town. She says she loves the way I squirm and wriggle while she does it.

If I ejaculate while she's doing that there's usually a fountain of cum spurting up like a geyser - but generally when I can tell I'm about erupt I grab her head and pull her onto my cock. And explode. That way she gets a full load filling her mouth really fast, which I know she loves. She usually doesn't swallow, but sometimes she has no choice - there's just too much jism blasting down her throat.

Have I said too much? Is that TMI? Okay, I'll conclude with a safety message: a shower should always precede a rim job. Because, y'know, hygiene. And oral health.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 18, 2018 ~ Sexy Fun and Playfulness





1. Which animal listed below {best} represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
d. Tell them I'm tired - maybe tomorrow? - (can you tell I've been married for more than 25 years?)

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch - (as in: anything you want baby, lets do it! Except pegging, sorry)
f. Kinkster

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?
~ Which ever is quicker and presumably less painful.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?
~ Look normal but not be allowed to talk. I suspect I'd get laid more that way!

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?
~ It's on the tip of my tongue!

Double Bonus: did you miss My idea of a dream date! or Guest Post ~ 10 Things You Should Not Ask An Escort?
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 17, 2018

Mistress TT for #MasturbationMonday

via Instagram

Normally I’d rather give than receive but for @mistresstt.s I might make an exception! 🗝
Repost from @mistresstt.s - “Maybe all you need is a little pain...” 😈🇧🇷🔥

Sunday, September 16, 2018

#SinfulSunday ~ My idea of a dream date!

I love big nipples and I love eating pussy so this is my idea of a dream date!

Apparently there are women who hate hearing men say "I love eating pussy" because apparently it triggers ... um ... er ... hostile feelings of male privilege? They argue that it's basic human decency to provide/reciprocate sexual pleasure so it should be no big deal that a man goes down on a woman so STFU you blowhard.

Of course if a woman doesn't like giving blowjobs that's okay too, because a woman should never feel she has to do something she doesn't want to do. Just woebetide any man who says he doesn't want to perform cunnilingus because he thinks it's dirty/unnatural. That man is a sexist controlling pig! 

He is an idiot, and he's missing out, I'd agree with that. (And yes, a woman should never feel she has to do something she doesn't want to do)

Gender politics are a minefield. Add sexual politics into the mix and someone is guaranteed to lose a limb!

Yes, I know I've published this pic before, but it popped up on Tumblr again

Saturday, September 15, 2018

#SoSS ~ OPP - Ten Things You Should Not Ask An Escort

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT ASK AN ESCORT

by Karly Jacobs ~ who works for Scarlett Blue (an Australian brothel)

image source: Scarlett Blue ©

1. Do you have a boyfriend?

Many escorts do have a partner, other escorts do not. This is a personal subject that some escorts may choose to share with you, but a large number will want to keep it very private. Do not ask your escort their relationship status unless they first choose to bring up the subject with you.

2. Does your family know what you do?

Another question that is not appropriate. What an escort does and does not do is their business. They are not there to discuss their family with you.

Just like your escort will not ask you very personal questions. They are there for your entertainment and share a good time with you - not to pry into your personal life.

3. How many clients do you see in a day

You are privileged that your escort is seeing you - just leave it to that. This is certainly not a question that should be asked.

4. What is your real name

It is surprising how often this question is asked of escorts. It is asked for one of two reasons: either because the client is very inexperienced, or because a client has crossed the line and does not care about the escorts boundaries.

As most people familiar with the escort scene would know, most escorts do not go by their real name. Escorts mostly go by pseudonyms, and will operate under a different work name to their real name.

5. Will you go on a date with me (a.k.a. will you see me for free)

It can be difficult for some clients to understand how an escort can enjoy their time together so much, and for this not to translate into wanting to go out on a private date. Some clients can enjoy the fantasy a little too much, and begin to blur the lines between business and pleasure.

An escort's job is to make you enjoy yourself - to enjoy themselves with you too - but always remember, sex work is work. It is important that you understand that, appreciate and respect it.

6. Can I be your first client of the day?

There are some clients who will request that they be their escorts first client of the day. This can sound like a rather innocent request, however the mindset behind the question can put escorts off, as it often comes from a person who cannot handle the thought of an escort being intimate with another person before them.

7. Can you send me a selfie?

In our modern era there are so many different ways for clients to see candid selfie images of their private escorts. There are various social media platforms, such as Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, as well as Scarlet Blue's very own dedicated Selfie Gallery.

Many escorts make a huge effort in placing dozens of selfie photos across their profiles and social media platforms. When a client asks for a selfie when so many already exist on the internet, that client may come across as either incredibly lazy, or self entitled - particularly clients who have already seen the escorts selfies, but want a new one just for themselves.

To make a good first impression, take the time to explore your escorts Selfie Gallery, social media platforms and website before asking them to send you a selfie.

8. What are your rates?

If you have visited an escorts Scarlet Blue profile, you will find that they have clearly listed their prices for you to read. Escorts make a lot of effort to details their rates in their advertisement, so that you know in advance if they are within your price range. Take the time to read your escorts profile before contacting them. Your efforts will be appreciated, and failing to do so may start off on the wrong foot.

9. Can I have a discount?

One of the most offensive things that a client can ask an escort is for a discount. Not only will it start the conversation off on a bad note, but it also has the potential to have you blacklisted.

The prices listed in an escort advertisement are not negotiable. This is the price, and if the price is not what you were expecting, then it is best to contact another escort within your price range.

Some clients believe that if they are not having the full list of services, then they should be charged less. There are many escorts who do charge less for non-sexual services, but if they do, this will be clearly listed in their profile.

If an escort lists a minimum of one hour in their profile, never try to barter the price for a lesser time period (e.g. 45 minutes). There is no problem with asking an escort if they provide a 45 minute service, but if they say no, then do not persist further or try to bargain. 

Asking an escort for a discount because you are good looking, well endowed or a fantastic lover will not impress them either.

10. Do I have to have a shower

An escort asking you to have a shower is a simple request. Although you may have already had one prior, your escort may have a policy that all clients shower before the service begins, and you must respect their wishes.

Make your escort happy, and they will return the favour in spades.

Remember: Your first contact with an escort is important – first impressions count!

Source: Escort Etiquette 

Thursday, September 13, 2018

#ThirstyThursday ~ #NickiMinaj - Barbie Dreams

Nicki Minaj just released the music video for her latest song "Barbie Dreams" (from her new album, Queen). The video dropped the same day that the rapper/singer spoke at length during a radio show about an altercation that occurred with Cardi B at the Harper's Bazaar Icons party during 2018 New York Fashion Week.

At the event, Cardi lunged at Minaj after she allegedly made a comment about Cardi's daughter, Kulture Kiari Cephus. Minaj said on the radio, "The other night, I was a part of something so mortifying and so humiliating to go through in front of a bunch of upper echelon people. I will never forget it. I was mortified." Minaj denied ever making a statement about Kulture. "I would never discuss anyone's child," she said.

The song "Barbie Dreams" (rhymes with 'Cardi B') names a long list of rappers, including but not limited to Drake, DJ Khaled, Lil Uzi Vert, 50 Cent and ex-boyfriend Meek Mill as well as New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. - but doesn't make it clear if she slept with all of them or if they just wanted to sleep with her.

I haven't slept with her but I sure as hell would like to - she looks hot AF in this clip. Not that she'd have me of course, since I'm too old and haven't been to a gym since she was born. I do eat pussy tho', unlike DJ Khaled, who gets called out by Minaj for his bad eating habits. I also have to wonder if the 'feud' with Cardi B is a publicity stunt since the two have worked together on plenty of tracks for other people previously.

The video contains very explicit language and Minaj pulls no punches. I'm personally fascinated by it since YouTube usually don't publish this type of music video without bleeping. Have they changed their policy?  I've included her lyrics after the clip below. You may find them either obscene or sexually empowering. Hopefully you can understand what she's saying!




"Barbie Dreams" 
Songwriters: Rashad Smith, Melvin Hough Li, Rivelino Raoul Wouter, Tanya Onika Maraj (Nicki Minaj).
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
[Intro] 
Uh
R.I.P. to B.I.G
Classic shit
 
[Verse 1] 
I'm looking for a nigga to give some babies
A hand full of Weezy, sprinkle of Dave East
Man, I ain't got no type, like Jxmmi and Swae Lees
But if he can't fuck three times a night, peace
I tried to fuck 50 for a powerful hour
But all the nigga wanna do is talk Power for hours
Beat the pussy up, make sure it's a K-O
Step your banks up like you're moving that ya-yo
Somebody go and make sure Karrueche okay though
I heard she think I'm tryna give the coochie to Quavo
They always wanna beat it up, goon up the pussy
Man, maybe I should let him autotune up the pussy
All these Bow Wow challenge niggas lying and shit
Man, these Fetty Wap niggas stay eyeing my shit
Drake worth a hundred milli, always buying me shit
But I don't know if the pussy wet or if he crying and shit
Meek still be in my DMs, I be having to duck him
"I used to pray for times like this"
Face ass when I fuck him
Man, Uzi is my baby, he ain't takin' an L
But he took it literally when I said, "Go to hell"
Used to fuck with Young Thug, I ain't addressing this shit
C-c-caught him in my dressing room, stealing dresses and shit
I used to give this nigga with a lisp testers and shit
How you want the pu-thy? Can't say your S's and shit

Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie, B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (Barbie Dreams, B-B-B-Barbie)
I remember when I used to have a crush on Special Ed
Shoutout Designer, 'cause he made it out of special ed
You wanna fuck me, you gotta give some special head
'Cause this pussy had these niggas on some special meds
Like Mike Tyson, he was biting my shit
Talking 'bout, "Yo, why you got these niggas fighting and shit?"
On the real, I should make these niggas scrap for the pussy
Young M.A. and Lady Luck, get the strap for this pussy, uh
And I would've had Odell Beckham banging the cake
'Til I saw him hopping out of cars dancing to Drake
I been a five-star bitch, man, word to Gotti
I'mma do that nigga Future dirty, word to Scottie
Had to cancel DJ Khaled, boy, we ain't speaking
Ain't no fat nigga telling me what he ain't eating
YG and The Game with the hammer yelling, "Gang, gang"
This ain’t what I meant when I said a gang bang
Tekashi want a ménage, I said tre-way
Curved him and went the Kim and Kanye way
Em, cop the Barbie Dreamhouse then you can play the part
I ain't tryna bust it open in the trailer park

Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (B-B-B-Barbie, B-B-B-Barbie)
Dreams of fucking one of these little rappers
I'm just playing, but I'm saying (Barbie Dreams, B-B-B-Barbie)

[Beat Change] 
You know I'm all about them dollars
I be supporting them scholars
I let him give me some brain
But he wanted me to ride it
So I said, "Fuck it, I'm in"
He want a cut like a trim
And if he act like he know
I let him fuck it again
I got them bars, I'm indicted
I'm popping, I'm uninvited
I said just lick on the clitoris, nigga, don't fucking bite it
I ride his, in the circle
I turn Stefan into Urkel
I go around and around and I'ma go down in slow motion
Then I pick it up, look at it
I said, "Daddy, come get at it," uh
Yellow brick road, he said that I am a wiz at it
Yeah, they want it, want it
You know I flaunt it, flaunt it
I'm a trendsetter
Everything I do, they do
Yeah, put 'em up on it, on it
Dimelo papi, papi
Yo quiero sloppy, sloppy
I'll give it to you if you beat it up like Baki, Baki
I'mma kill 'em with the shoe, no ceiling is in the roof
And I'm big, give me the loot, twelve cylinders in the Coupe
I get down with the chrome, I tell 'em when I'mma shoot
I just bang, bang, bang, real killers is in my group
Gorillas is in my unit, vacationin' where it's humid
And I shine, shine, shine, got diamonds all in my cubans
I'm in LA Times more than when niggas lootin'
And my flow spit crack, I think that nigga usin'
He done bodied everybody, in closing these bitches losin'
Using, using up a bitch movin'
No I ain't Studdard and no I ain't Ruben
Damn, a bitch snoozin'
Shoutout to my Jews, l'chaim, Rick Rubin
Big fat titties, yes, they be protrudin'
I be like, fuck 'em, fuck 'em, bring the lube in
I be like fuck 'em, fuck 'em, bring the lube in

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

#WickedWednesday - What’s My Wife Reading Now

So my wife left for another week long conference in Asia, just as she did earlier this year. Part of her BNG thing, to make her a better more dynamic individual, a better businesswoman, a better entrepreneur. IMO it’s a cult (why spend all that money, and fly 14 hours, just to meet more people like yourself?) (BNG describe them as ‘Global Players’!) but she thinks it will help her with her next business start up. The one she’s been working on since she sold her business 5 years ago for enough money to retire on.

It's at a beachside resort with five pools and since no-one really goes to the seminars (just the evening drinking networking sessions, and the 'after parties') she loaded up her Kindle with 10 new titles before departure.

One such title was Island Captive - a 'Dark Romance' with 'dubious consent' (aka someone gets raped but they love it). Other titles include Bossy Nights, Big Shot Boss, and The Knight so make of that what you will. I’m guessing she's looking for an Alpha Male that can take charge and dominate her. Tame her, even. (The Knight is a revenge tale, but I’m betting they end up together by the end anyway. Or she gives the brute his comeuppance and finds true love with the other guy who was there all along),

Anyway, better she slakes her lusty thirst poolside with Kindleporn than some other conference attendee also far from home...



Tuesday, September 11, 2018

#TMITuesday: September 11, 2018 ~ Night Time




Fill in the blanks:

1. When I can’t sleep I _____ .
~ When I can’t sleep I watch Netflix or trawl Social Media.
(Hence my tweets at odd hours, just like the Tweeter-In-Chief!)

2. My dream bedroom would be full of _____ .
~ My dream bedroom would be full of naked women DTF and begging for it!

3. If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be _____
~ If I could wake up anywhere tomorrow it would be New York, or Barcelona
(Preferably on a six month alternating cycle.)

4. I need to _____ at night.
~ I need to SLEEP at night. 
(Currently I'm up all hours and only get 4-5 hours because I'm a very light sleeper)

5. _____ would truly be a nightmare.
Four more years with Trump would truly be a nightmare.

6. Night time is the right time to _____ .
~ Night time is the right time to have sex (when you're older) because you have greater control/more options regarding lighting!

Bonus: Briefly tell us about your last dream – erotic or not.
~ I'm one of those people that don't dream. Yes, I know we all dream so let's just say that I'm one of those people that can't remember dreaming anything. The last one I remember was a decade ago and in it my wife was cheating on me.


  
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 10, 2018

#MasturbationMonday - 3 Sisters

I once went out with three sisters. Not all at the same time (imagine that!) but separately - and one by one. It was the weirdest thing, even I knew it, but at the time I just bounced happily from one to the other. Even weirder was that it was the sisters themselves who would 'pass me on' to their next sibling.

The first sister I went out with was actually a friend of my ex-girlfriend. I was visiting the ex at her College out of state, and she invited me to a party. She introduced me to her friend (a year younger than me) and we all had a great time. The night finished with me and her friend together in bed as the sun came up.

We continued seeing each other for a short while but my Ex (her friend) became an issue. Apparently when someone says 'I don't care if you go out with my old Boyfriend' they will change their mind when you actually date them. So we broke up, but not before she suggested I meet her older sister when I got back home.

Which I did because duh!

The older sister was cool, but still living with her parents. That's when I realised they were all part of a good Catholic family, and that the younger sister had possibly been embracing a rebellious phase with me.  We had a wild time but I suspect it was too much for her Christian upbringing and I was just a summer fling.

So I took the older sister out a few times and we'd make out in the car and it always got hot 'n heavy but I could never convince her to go much further. I would stick my hand down her jeans and finger her pussy and she would get as wet AF but all she'd do in return would be to grab my dick over my jeans and rub my erection.

I guess in hindsight she probably didn't know what to do, since she was 'the quiet one' amongst a trio of sisters who were all 'good Catholic girls'. Maybe the younger sister had 'referred me' in the hope I could 'enlighten' the middle sister, but it wasn't happening. Things took a surreal turn when I was invited over for 'Sunday dinner'.

It was a family dinner and everyone was there - with the exception of the youngest sister who was still back in her college town. So the parents are talking to me about how I went out with their youngest daughter, but now I was dating their middle daughter. So far so awkward. The father then asks me point blank if I'm going to date their oldest daughter next!

I blush, because the oldest daughter is right there at the table - seated on my right, with the middle daughter on my left - but I seem to be the only one embarrassed. I look sideways at the oldest daughter and give her a nervous smile, and the middle daughter pipes up with "I was thinking you should go with [Nero] to that movie you wanted to see - he loves Art House Cinema"

I was gobsmacked to say the least, and I looked at both sisters like WTF? which wasn't a thing back then (this all happened last century). The oldest sister looks at me and says "Sure - is that cool with you Nero?" and straight away I understand what is going on.  The middle sister is passing me off to the older sister, just as the younger sister had done previously.

I don't know if the parents were in on it (they were so nice and friendly!) but the two sisters had definitely planned it. So I said "Yes, that sounds like fun" because back then I embraced the weird 'cosmic universe' shit and would often follow my nose just to see where things went. I'd 'experienced' two sisters, so it would be crazy to pass up the third.

The oldest sister was a year older than me (like any good Catholic family her parents had banged out three in a row in quick succession) and definitely more worldly. We went to the movie, which for the life of me I can't remember (so it was probably crap) and then afterwards we had two drinks in a bar and chatted. There was some frisson between us but it wasn't real. 

She wasn't so much interested in me as she was interested in finding out what it was about me that had interested her sisters. Which was fair because I was doing pretty much the same. Having been with both her sisters I wondered what it would be like with the oldest one. Which I soon found out, when she asked me to drive her home.

We parked up right outside her house and made out, since it was very dark. Her parents were presumably asleep since the house was blacked out. So we made out and it got hot 'n heavy, and I slipped my hand up her skirt and fingered her as I had with her sisters. And like her sisters she responded by getting very wet and writhing around on my hand.

Unlike her middle sister she knew how to reciprocate. Her hand snaked out and pulled my zipper down. She fished out my erect cock and started tugging on it. Clearly it was not her first time handling a dick because she quickly found her grip and started jacking me with a steady rhythm. It felt good and I wanted more.

My brain started calculating how best I could get her mouth on my penis without being a doucebag. We were still in the middle of a major clinch - our lips were locked and our hands were everywhere. Should I break free and just ask for a blowjob? I decided not to jinx it. 

I knew she was enjoying what we were doing but I wasn't sure how far to push it. Even though the sisters were all very similar, this was still a first date with the oldest one. And we were still in a car outside her parents house - they were a decent Christian family after all!

So instead I just tugged her panties down a bit so I could get better access to her pussy. Honestly I just wanted to finish fingerbanging her, but even though her panties were still above her knees she started to freak out. She stopped kissing me and pulled her skirt down, since it had become bunched up around her waist in the melee.

"I should probably go in now, it's late" she said, letting go of my cock.

"Okay, sure" I said, not wanting to overstay my welcome "call me during the week and lets talk - I had a great time"

I don't know if those were my exact words but I do remember I wanted to be polite but noncommittal. The date had been fun but already I had a feeling that these good Catholic girls were using me for their version of sexual experimentation. I think they knew I was a horny guy but not a rapist so they could pull back if/when things got too hot. Which I didn't mind - consent was always top of mind with me and I had a reputation as being a fairly decent guy.

Yes, I know thats sounds vain (even a little douchey perhaps?) but its the truth. 

Anyway, we did call eachother later in the week and she made a suggestion for another date the following weekend but it was a very Ned Flanders type of outing so I passed. We spoke again the week after that but agreed it was too weird (me having been with all three sisters) so it was probably best if we dropped it. Which we did.

And that was that.

Nah, I'm kidding. Of course we fucked - not just the oldest sister but all three. All four of us together, just like in the picture. And then the mother too - she also wanted a piece of Nero so who was I to argue? Once you've gone Nero J. Black you can never go back...

Okay, I'm being silly now. Nothing happened. But imagine if it had? I'm excited just thinking about it. Feel free to write some erotic fiction along those lines and I'll happily share it here on this blog. We'll call it a guest post and you can put it on yours also.


-~o0o~-

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

TMI Tuesday: September 4, 2018 ~ Deep Thoughts

Hello fine people. Yesterday was Labor Day holiday in the U.S.A. - I chose not to labor over TMI Tuesday. Here it is now....

Dominique Jane - Playboy ©
1. What promises have you never carried through for yourself?
~ I've never killed anyone. Oh, wait - did I read that question wrong?

2. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be?
~ I'd reduce the drinking age to 18 in bars, clubs or pubs (ID required) but make it so you could only buy at a liquor store when you are 21 (ID required). Hopefully that will teach young people to drink in moderation (since its more expensive in bars, clubs or pubs) instead of bingeing out on a dozen cheep beers they bought at the liquor store.

3. Are you a starter or a finisher?
~ More of a starter than a finisher - my foray into the Smut Marathon is a testament to that! Generally I finish something I started but I'm not above rearranging my priorities! Other projects me leapfrog in importance.

4. How do Mondays feel for you? What about Tuesdays?
~ They feel the same. I'm semi-retired - everyday is almost like a weekend to me. I guess it's #HappyMonday for me since I get to jerk off (#MasturbationMonday!) if my wife has rebuffed me on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday! Sometimes I jerk off on Tuesdays too, if I don't feel I purged my system on Monday.

5. What scares you about your future?
~ I have no health insurance. My wife doesn't believe in it. She says we have plenty of money and we'll just pay when we need to. But since all the money is in her bank accounts I'm reliant on her still feeling good about me when/if something happens. What if we've had a fight or she's kicked me out?

Bonus: What do you wish you cared less about?
~ How my wife feels about sex. If I wasn't so mindful of her moods I might just press on and be more assertive. Some women respond to that. My problem is I feel a bit rapey when I try that.

Double Bonus: check out #MasturbationMonday : A Question About Butt Plugs and #SinfulSunday - John Willie (Sunday Art Club)
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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, September 3, 2018

#MasturbationMonday : A Question About Butt Plugs




Earlier this month May More wrote a blog post titled SEX TOY PLAY OR TIME TO PUT AWAY? It was terrifically hot, and best of all it included actual photos of May's 'date night' with her man. As if her description wasn't enough:

His cock finds its place and jabs me several times as I sway slightly from the force, my hands still tied above my head. Looking ahead I can see the action in the mirror and the show is a hot one! 
Untieing my hands he leads me around to the small outdoor lounge area. He pushes me roughly face down on the seat and I can hear the familiar sound of his belt sliding through the band of his trousers. Forming a loop he brings it down in a few extremely hard cracks on the top of my left arse cheek.

Pushing a spit-lubed butt-plug in my bum hole he then fills my cunt with his swollen dick and his hand pushes me into the cushions. He thrusts all the way in and pulls out so his knob is almost fully exposed again. Then repeats. This is a favourite activity of his – he likes to watch the progress of his cock. It feels as if I am being fucked with meaning. With the butt plug in play, the illusion of fullness is hot as hell. 
Our date nights always incorporate lots of input and this evening is no different as he turns me over and sinking to his knees his tongue greets my slit...

That's just an excerpt, you can read it in full here.  May's blog set me thinking (once I'd stopped imagining myself in the room watching May and her man go at it) so I made the following comment on her post: 
Hot story, hot pics, and I’m left wanting to give you a few jabs myself! But since that is out of the question here’s a question maybe you can answer: 
How does a butt plug compare to a dildo or vibe up the arse? I’m guessing it’s the thin bit (on a butt plug) that makes all the difference vis a vis pain/discomfort around the anal opening? I’ve become less inclined to try sticking anything up my wife’s arse since she ran her finger up mine and left it there way too long (“argh, it burns!”) but maybe a butt plug feels different? [For her ass, not mine – I’m Wussy Boy]

May didn't reply to my comment but later on Twitter suggested I should put the question to you. Maybe she meant Twitter but whatever, I'm asking it here. Now.

So, if you enjoy a little anal or ass play maybe you can answer the question; how do butt plugs up the ass/arse compare to a dildo or vibrator? If you have any experience in the matter, good or bad, feel free to share the knowledge with the rest of us in the comments below...


-~o0o~-

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation MondayClick this link for stories more erotic than mine!

Sunday, September 2, 2018

#SinfulSunday - John Willie (Sunday Art Club)

John Willie was a groundbreaking fetish illustrator and photographer. He is best known for his artwork for Bizarre magazine during the late 1940’s-50s. Pictured below is a kinky Bizarre #6 magazine cover by John Willie (who in his turn got his inspiration from René Gruau’s Rouge Baiser lipstick ad, pictured at bottom).


Wednesday, August 29, 2018

#WickedWednesday - Tuesday Night Tease

Whoa Nelly! Jeez Nero, you can't just throw pics like that up without warning - you'll frighten the horses!!

So last night I went up to bed just after midnight. I was a little bit horny since we hadn't had sex since last Friday night... oops, oh yeah, I didn't write that story up - once again I just wasn't in the mood to blog about it. Long story short we had sex but I'm not feeling the connection with my wife lately so although I got off and I got her off (twice?) I didn't think it was anything to write home about.

It was though, so I've probably cheated you a bit. 

Like, I know I'm pretty good with my hands and mouth so I know I can get her off that way - to the point that she's asking me to fuck her ie stick my cock in and pound her - but, well... the magic seems to have faded. I know I've been bleating for months/years about how my wife's libido is much lower than mine - and how we only have sex once a month, if that - so I know I should be more grateful... but...

The thing is... this year I resolved to masturbate more, rather than get all depressed about the lack of sex with my wife. So in recent months I guess I've retrained my libido. If I get horny I just watch/read some porn and then jack off. Simple as that. It stops the stress from building and the household is all just a little bit happier now. 

But once you learn how to pleasure yourself you eventually realize you don't need someone else to give you that pleasure. Yes, the power really is in your hands!

Anyway, long story short we had sex last Friday night and I performed really well, and so did she, but by Saturday afternoon I was horny so I jerked off because I knew we had a dinner on Saturday night and by the time we got home she wouldn't want to because we'd just had sex the night before, and it wasn't on the schedule and... so it just seemed easier to jerk off and be done with it.

So I did, and that was that, and I know some of you are going to say I should have waited and tried it on with my wife on Saturday night instead, because she might well have wanted some too, you never know.  Yes, that's true but you don't know my wife as well as I do, so trust me - I made the right call.

Or did I?

On Sunday afternoon we went to a Day Club at a Hotel beach bar and my wife got all tipsy because she started drinking before she started eating. And all her single BFF's were there, and they love me, and all wish they had a guy like me, and this always gets my wife revved up. She did all her sexy dancing with me, which I found weird because it was the middle of the afternoon and despite my efforts I was sober. She on the other hand was quite pissed and handsy.

Showing off to her BFF's you could say - or rubbing their noses in it ("I gotta man!"). I thought she was going to fuck me when we got home, but we didn't get home until 5.30pm and she went to the bedroom and crashed out completely. Which was a shame because I was horny again.

I didn't act on it though, until midnight last night. I went up to the bedroom and she was still reading her dirty kindle stories (and still denying they were erotic/smut stories). I told her it was time for our scheduled Wednesday sex and she said 'It's only Tuesday'. I pointed at the clock and told her it was 12.05am and therefore it was officially Wednesday. She giggled and said 'Okay' and put down her iPad.

I said 'Hold your horses you horndog, I need a shower first' so off I went. It was a quick shower. I didn't wash my hair because I planned to eat her out and that's no fun when you've got a wet dog wriggling between your legs, amiright ladies? 

So I got into bed and we kissed and cuddled and then I fingered her until she was wet as, and then I moved down between her legs and ate her out. And then she swapped positions - holding on to the bedhead as she straddled my face and rode me. My tongue danced around her clit and she held my head and bounced up and down for quite some time, until she came hard and quick. Maybe quick isn't the right word since I almost suffocated at the end, when she ground herself into my mouth and face, in a final moment of fervor. 

When she was done she moved quickly down between my legs and started jacking my cock, and then swallowing it. I was flat on my back and held her head like a dismembered skull - a skull I was fucking. We actually found the perfect rhythm ie her head didn't move and I fucked her mouth like a pussy. My wife seemed determined to do me orally until I came but I had other ideas. 

Which didn't happen because she had other ideas too. 

Just as I was about to roll her off me and put her in the doggy position so I could fuck her hard and deep from behind - as we'd done last Friday night - she pushed my legs wide and started tonguing my balls. Quite firmly. She then grabbed my hand and moved it to my dick as she dropped her head lower. As I started jacking my cock she pushed the back of my thighs wider (and higher) and started tonguing my ass.  He mouth was everywhere, her wet lips and tongue assailing my nether regions with reckless disregard.

It felt really good and suddenly I was cumming, loud and hard. It happened so quickly she barely had time to move her mouth back onto my cock, slurping down and sucking hard as I pumped my seed into her throat. It felt so good I actually cried out loud. So loud that my daughter next door in her bedroom could surely hear me if she was awake, which she surely was.    

The orgasm was so intense that I cried out a second and third time, unable to stop or control myself. 

That was new.

My wife removed her mouth but I kept jacking, and enjoyed a very long and intense orgasm.  When I was finally done she ran to the bathroom to spit because she's not a swallowing type of gal. When she returned we both laughed (quietly) because that was an unusually loud climax from me. And then we both rolled over and went into a deep sleep.

Except I woke up at 6.30am, which is why I'm typing this now. No doubt I'll crash out later, in a few hours....

-~o0o~-

This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday




click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

TMI Tuesday: August 28, 2018 ~ Sexiness



I find kick-ass take-no-BS type women sexy.
1. What type of clothes make you feel sexy?
a. a specially selected casual outfit
b. lingerie or silky pajamas
c. elegant, dressy evening clothes
d. anything that leaves me almost naked

2. Which do you prefer?
a. pillow talk
b. sexy texting
c. love notes
~ FWIW my wife does not sext, so I don't sext her. I tried but it never clicked with us.

3. Which do you do best?
a. pillow talk
b. sexting
c. writing love notes
~ I used to sext/flirt online via Facebook Chat (pre-Messenger) or IM's, but I don't do that any more. (Send nudes and we can start!)

4. You been granted just ONE of the following in your favorite city/place in the world. Which would you choose and why?
a. 24 hours of romance
b. 24 hours of lust (intense, overwhelming sexual desire but not acted upon mixed with enthusiasm for life)
c. 24 hours of sex
~ You know that would kill me, right? But it would be fun trying! I think we may have to involve others if we're going to stretch it our to 24 hours. I'd probably only manage 3 or 4 ejaculations at my age (but hey, who knows what more I can achieve with all that additional stimuli?)

5. How do you tap into your sexiness?
~ I really don't know anymore. It was certainly oozing out last Sunday. My wife's friends were gushing over me, which sent my wife happily over the deep end. She got very horny - she always desires me when others desire me. Unfortunately a lot of alcohol was involved in the festivities, so by the time we got home she went to bed and crashed.

Bonus: Which is better – your digital sex life or your in-the-flesh sex life?
~ My sex life is mostly digital now (porn) which means I can have it when I want it, but my wife is making more of an effort. By which I mean she reads a lot of dirty books on her Kindle a lot. That's her version of foreplay I think, but she doesn't always follow through. I think she overshoots the mark and gets herself off/sated from the reading and then it's really late, to late for sex... you know the drill.

Double Bonus - Two posts from last week you can check out: #ThirstyThursday - Mouth Watering? and #WickedWednesday - Cheating!

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Thursday, August 23, 2018

#ThirstyThursday - Mouth Watering?



Pardon the explicit imagery but... well, I just find it totes adorable!

Yes, I know no-one talks like that anymore but seriously, look at her. Isn't she cute AF?  Her smile and facial expressions are priceless. I'd love to see the video clip this gif was pulled from because I bet it would be a great porno to watch. 

Well, I'd love to watch her, that's for sure. The dude is way bigger than me so I'd probably feel intimated, but she looks like she'd be a bundle of fun in bed. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

#WickedWednesday - Cheating!

This is a bit of a cheat because I still don't feel like writing up the text version of last week's Wednesday Afternoon Sex.  I'm just not in the mood. But last week's post is pictorially accurate (pretty much) for what we did so check it out.

So since I'm feeling lazy I'll 'cheat' and publish this post, which has been sitting in drafts since March. It's the browser history of my wife's dirty reading for one afternoon. There were 21 screenshots in all across the weekend but this gives the gist of it.

I suppose to be fair I should publish my own browser history for when I've been on PornHub. I'm sure the titles to some of the clips I watch are just as tawdry as these Literotica story titles...

(As always, start in the bottom right hand corner and read backwards up the list to see the stories in the same order she read them)

{{TRIGGER WARNING! - These stories involve 'Age Play'}}




Tuesday, August 21, 2018

TMI Tuesday: Aug. 21, 2018 ~ What Time Is It!

Guess what time it is? Time to get TMI Tuesday sexy - that’s what time!

1. What is sexy time to you?
~ Having sex. Not necessarily intercourse, but being sexually intimate.

2. Who’s sexier – women or men?
~ As a heterosexual male I'd have to say women. I can recognize a good looking guy, but that's about it. I think more women than men know how to 'be sexy', which I'm sure disappoints many straight women. I think both genders would agree the female form naked is aesthetically more pleasing (with the exception of some gay men perhaps).

3. How did you learn to masturbate, and how old were you when you first succeeded?
~ I'm not sure how old I was but I remember how I 'succeeded'. For a long time I was rutting my erection in bed, first against the mattress and then in the tight crevice between the sheet and the side of the mattress (yes, back in my day we had blankets, not duvets/comforters). Felt good but no success. You don't know what you don't know, and there was no local priest to show me. I finally figured it out when a guy at school made the 'wanking' motion with his hand at another boy and called him 'a gripper'. That's when the penny dropped and my brain clicked.

4. Do you like taking naked photos of yourself?
~ Not recently. I have gained weight and it's always hard to get the angle right for a good dick pic. Conversely I have no problem looking at nude selfies taken by overweight women. I find them sexy and get I excited by their boldness. I tend to whack off to 'real porn' (ie real people, not pros) more and more these days.

5. What is your biggest sexual fear?
~ As I get older my dick seems to be getting smaller. But then so do Big Macs. Maybe its a depth perception thing? My biggest fear is that my wife's libido will return after menopause (I've heard it does), but by then I'll have erectile dysfunction issues. I guess that's when we'll finally be having threesome's - except all I can do is serve the drinks and maybe jerk off in the corner if I'm lucky. (I could write a whole post in this subject - maybe I will.)

Bonus: To you, what does the ideal penis look like? (feel free to include artwork or photos).
~ I'm the wrong guy to ask a.k.a. as a straight male I haven't spent a lot of time looking at other men's dicks. I always thought mine was pretty good (there were no complaints) until the past few years when my wife's sexual interest in me waned. Did she want something bigger? thicker? curved? Having returned to porn in recent years I have become much more aware of cocks than when I was in my youth. Maybe it's the porn thats changed but now there seems to be more emphasis on bigger thicker dicks - leaving me feeling inadequate. Much like women did during the porn boom of the 80s/90s. Who knew 'Sexuality Equality' meant everyone feeling shit about their bodies?

Double Bonus: If you want pictures of real cocks then check out Wednesday Afternoon Sex (all pictures, no reading!)
I also thought my #SoSS post was good but no one read it.
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sunday, August 19, 2018

OPP: Slut: A Documentary

This is not one of my old posts, but one by Pervertically Virtuous (scroll to bottom for more info)
(FYI: some links in this post are dead)

Pervertically Virtuous posted: "*Sticky post* PV is going on a 3-week long trip! Ace and I are headed to Burning Man, with a pre-BM camping trip and a post-BM decompression trip. For those of you who don't know what Burning Man is, please Google it, read some stories about it, look at"

recovered post by Pervertically Virtuous

Slut: A Documentary

by Pervertically Virtuous
tumblr_static_unslutproject
PV is going on a 3-week long trip! Ace and I are headed to Burning Man, with a pre-BM camping trip and a post-BM decompression trip. For those of you who don't know what Burning Man is, please Google it, read some stories about it, look at some pictures. Here's a nice long article about it from a couple of years ago. It is, without a doubt, one of the most amazing events on the Planet. One of the world's wonders, for real.
Which means, I'll be away from my computer - and my blog - for quite some time. I tried to schedule some stories ahead of time, but this has been a very busy time for me, so there probably won't be many of those.
What I am going to leave you with is an appeal to all my loyal and new readers: Pledge to support the kickstarter campaign for Slut: A Documentary.
This movie is the brainchild of Emily Lindlin, the young woman behind The Unslut Project, a blog that started as a personal platform for her to publish her diaries from the time she was slut-shamed in school. Over time it morphed into something much bigger: A community "working to undo the dangerous sexual bullying and slut shaming in our schools, communities, media, and culture." And now, she wants to make a movie about it.
I've mentioned The Unslut Project several times on this blog before (see How to Turn Your Walk of Shame Into a Stride of Pride and 9 Reasons You SHOULD Have Sex on the First Date) because it's something I firmly believe in. Being the slut that I am, a lifelong slut par excellence really, I know very intimately what slut-shaming looks like - people have continually attempted to slut-shame me for 25 years now. Luckily, I've been strong and confident enough to never let that get to me and have instead built a proud and unapologetic identity around my sluthood. But many girls are not so lucky. Every day, all over the U.S., girls' lives are ruined, sometimes irreparably so, by their 'reputations', which are often completely unwarranted.
The double standard, that odious, harmful disease that plagues the minds of most men and women growing up in America, needs to get eradicated. It is on each and every one of the enlightened us to make that happen, one partner, friend, child at a time. And Slut: A Documentary can be one powerful ally in that multi-pronged process.
So please support the project. Any amount counts, but donate as much as you can afford. They only have until Sept 4 to raise the necessary $18,000.
Donate if you realize that slut-shaming is a serious form of bullying.
Donate if you like sex and think all girls and women should be allowed to as well.
Donate if you enjoy reading PV and you think there should more women like me in the world.
And then spread the word. Post it on your Facebook and Twitter. Remind your friends and readers to support it. If you have a blog, embed a widget on your blog.
Let's open our wallets, so that girls and women can open their pussies, freely and without shame, whenever they want it with whomever they want it.
I really really really wanna see this project funded by the time I come back from Burning Man. And I promise to bring you some really good stories and pictures.
Now CLICK on the Slut: A Documentary. NOW.
definition of a slut, slut a woman with morals of a man
Pervertically Virtuous | August 19, 2013 at 11:43 am | 

In the process of recovering my own old posts via email I discovered some of P.V.'s. Like me, her old accounts have been terminated, and she seems to have disappeared from the internet. This is a damn shame since I consider her one of the best sex bloggers I've ever had the chance to read and follow. I'm reposting her old posts as a historical archive, and if she ever returns to blogging I'm happy to hand them back to her.

To be clear: the copyright on this work is hers, and remains with her - I didn't write it and I make no claim to it.

~ NERO

#FetishFriday - Batman’s Dick