Sunday, January 21, 2018

The siren call...SINFUL SUNDAY


via Instagram

Given I haven’t had sex since Jan 4 and my wife leaves tomorrow for an 8 day ‘conference’ I hope I don’t succumb to the siren call of the ‘Gentleman’s Club’...
Repost from @hbexotic - “It's 2018, let's bring the freak outta you this year!”

 #lapdance #gentlemensclub #sexy #poledance #hotgirls #neroblogshere #stripper #strippers #dancers #ass #booty #heartbreakers 

Art by Milo Manara


via Instagram

Art by #milomanara
#strongandsexy #babe #thighhighboots #neroblogshere

We can all name Jessica Rabbit but...


via Instagram

We can all name #jessicarabbit but who can name the other #femmefatale πŸ€”
#sinfulsunday #bombshells #vixens #sexyart #neroblogshere

(Yes, I know who she is)

Saturday, January 20, 2018

OPP ~ #SoSS - Blogs I love

This is the image Mrs Fever used to illustrate her blog post (see that link below)
It's a self portrait by Molly Moore © and you can find more of her photos here

The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Mrs Fever - 'Temperatures Rising' ~ "Porn-NO: An Exploration of Erotic Imagery"

I recently asked Twitter what they thought about the images I used to illustrate my posts, since they are mostly NSFW - and some are more pornographic than erotic. Mrs Fever was one of many who answered (here) and that led me to her excellent post on the subject on her blog:
When I think of pornography, what comes to mind is explicit visual depictions of penetrative sex acts: disembodied genitals, objectification of the individual, baseness/crassness… Basically, graphic displays of sexual aggression. 
And while I know it can be argued that porn comes in multiple forms, the word is associative for me, and is specific to images. Pictures. Moving pictures, especially. Watching a pornographic film is, to me, about as uplifting an experience as watching a slug crawl through the freshly turned dirt in my rose garden.

Images of my lover, often sent without seductive intent, will sometimes spark a low flame that accelerates a heat in me. A picture of his smooth-shaven skin will call to mind one of our rituals. His lips, bowed into a kiss....
 
[continued]
M ~ "Cammies On The Floor' "Orgasm Hungry"

M probably needs no introduction since her blog is award winning and already well known. She writes great posts, and the title of this one reeled me in. This is just a small teaser excerpt of a more detailed exposition:
I am incredibly lucky that I orgasm easily, it lends itself to how greedy, how needy I can be. The first orgasm is the longest work and hardest to maintain – it is also often the weakest. All it does is feed my craving for another. My body is tenser, tighter, wanting and willing to work towards the second orgasm – which is always just on the horizon, easy to view and not hard to slide into.

The catch, of course, is that the second orgasm makes it easier to come harder and faster. And the third makes me far more greedy than the first. On and on my body goes, wanting the next – it’s not always that the subsequent ones are harder nor even better, fireworks do not suddenly explode in orgasm splendor; but the more that I orgasm, the easier it is for me to reach another one. When every nerve is sensitive and feels pleasurable, it’s a challenge to not pursue that pleasure
... [continued]

Ancilla_Ksst - Slave To Master ~ "Let's Do It"

I discovered Ancilla via the TMI Tuesday blog. She is an owned slave, married to her Master. Her lifestyle is completely foreign to me and some of the stuff they do is well beyond me but I always find her blog fascinating. Not my kink, but worth a read:
Pulling weeds in the heat of the sun, my cunt still sore from being used roughly earlier that warm Sunday morning, I crawled across the sandy soil, careful over the spiny pumpkin vines, plucking out the long grasses from among them. Master worked several feet away from me in his own patch of weedy vines.

"Pull up your shirt while you work so I can see your tits" he ordered. I lifted my shirt, freeing them, since I hadn't put on a bra that day. I attempted to tuck the shirt around in a knot so it would stay up even when I went back to crawling, but it would only stay for a short time and then I'd have to re-tuck it to give Master the view he wanted. 
 
He came up to me, stood in front of me, and asked if I wanted a taste. Of course I did.

He unzipped his shorts and took out his cock. I eagerly took him in my mouth. That didn't last long before he turned me around, told me to get on all fours and jerked at my shorts. I helped slide them down in front. His cock slid into my aching wet hole. Soon he pulled me to stand up and ordered me to grab the corner post of the garden fence. I gripped rough wood in both hands as he entered me again
... 
[continued]

Sunday Art Club


via Instagram

#scifisaturday with #sexyart by @milomanara_official
#skintightpants #babes #drawnthatway #neroblogshere

Friday, January 19, 2018

“Why did you make me buy that sh!t?”


via Instagram

“Why did you make me buy that sh!t?” said my wife.

“I dunno, maybe because it looks so damn sexy?” I thought to myself - but didn’t reply.

This was what my wife said last night at dinner, to our friends, about that time I took her to buy some lingerie in Paris. It was all her choice. She found the store and started browsing. All I did was offer to pay for whatever she liked... an offer she liked. She tried it on, she looked good in it, so I offered to buy it for her - as simple as that.

That was last year... and I’ve never seen her wear it. And now all she ‘remembers’ is that I ‘made her’ buy it - WTF?

"Why do you always buy me sexy lingerie and try to dress me like a hooker" she continued "you buy it for yourself, for your pleasure, not mine"

“I dunno, maybe because I want you to know I still consider you sexually attractive even though you don't seem to think so yourself?” I thought to myself - but didn’t reply. Instead I said "You've made it clear you don't like it by not wearing it. Which is why you didn't get any for Xmas, nor for your birthday last year.  Fear not, I won't buy you any underwear ever again"

You can lead a horse to water... but you cannot make it drink.



Thursday, January 18, 2018

'365 Reasons NOT To Have A Sex Calendar' ~ Part 2


There are two footnotes to the story I published yesterday (here). You should probably read it first before you read this part, if you haven't already. Although I've called this 'Part 2' I've also added NOT to the title, for obvious reasons....

i] The following year I gave my wife a 'Sex Checkbook', which I bought at a novelty store. It contained all these checks that she could 'cash' whenever she wanted. The checks/cheques were for things similar to the calendar mentioned in SweetenDirty's post. "One Makeout Session in the Car, just like High School", "One Candlelit Bubble Bath for Two", "One Fantasy Role-play Session of Your Choosing", "One 5 Minute Quickie", etc etc.  

I gave it to her because I thought it was a better 'prompt' than the diary she had given me the previous year. There were no specific dates to make you feel like a failure if you'd missed them, and it put the control in her hands. If she was feeling sexy/frisky/horny then she could 'cash' a check of her choosing, and if she wasn't then she could just leave it for another time.

Unfortunately I gave it to her on Valentine's Day (along with other gifts) and I guess it pissed her off. She never collected on any of the 'offers' and a month later I found it in the trash basket in her home office. What made it more bittersweet was that I found the discarded checkbook just ahead of my birthday - another reminder of the ill-fated diary she'd given me the year before.

ii] A few years after that, after we'd been to couple counseling about our waning sex life (where we were taught to openly communicate our feelings to each other) I told my wife on the ride home about that diary she'd given me and how sad it had made me since we never had any of the sex promised in the forward entries she had made. 

My wife made the sad face but then in typical fashion told me it was my fault for not initiating the sex promised in the diary. I explained that I had tried to do exactly that, many times, but that she would so often rebuff me with one excuse or another that I eventually stopped bothering. Her response to this was to laugh and say "I don't know what I was thinking!" (when she wrote and gave me that diary).

I then mentioned the checkbook I had given her the following year, which she'd thrown away. Unused. Her response to that was even more blunt. "Oh that checkbook was just stupid!" she scoffed.  

I considered both responses completely inappropriate given we'd just left the therapists office, but I bit my tongue. I knew then that couples counseling was a waste of time and we stopped soon after.


Wednesday, January 17, 2018

OPP: '365 Reasons To Have A Sex Calendar'


SweetenDirty caught my eye recently when she tweeted a link to her 2009 post Review: 365 Reasons to Have A Sex Calendar. I thought she was going to talk about 'scheduled sex' but it was about something else entirely, something more literal. It's a great post and you can read it in full here.

When I read her post it made me sad and a little misty eyed because it reminded me of a very sad year in my life (circa 2004). And I'm not overstating it - when someone gives you a Diary (or calendar) full of sex prompts you get reminded of it for a very long time. A whole year!

As SweetenDirty explains, the calendar works like this:

"...The calender is filled with more than just reasons to have sex.  
On each page of this daily calendar, there is a pickup line, a bit of “wisdom” (just some random fact or piece of advice that, of course, has to do with sex), a tear off “solicitation note” telling your potential partner your reason to have sex with them, checkboxes for (a) please (b) pretty please (c) I’ll pay you (d) or else, where, when, and “please bring,” and also checkboxes at the bottom of the tear off page saying (a) I’ll respect you in the morning (b) I’ll call you (c) The kids won’t hear us. 
Lastly, at the bottom of each page it will say how many days left in the year there are to “copulate.” 
Flipping through the calendar, I noticed that some days of the year will go along with the “reason to have sex.” For example, on January 18, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the reason is “Three day weekends make me hot.” 
Speaking of weekends, instead of having two separate reasons for having sex on each day of the weekend, the calendar has a “reason to have sex this weekend” instead, putting Saturdays and Sundays on the same page..."
I posted the following reply on her post (which you can read in full here):
This calendar sound like a lot of fun. My wife once gave me a pocket diary for my birthday. She'd gone through it and inside it she'd hand written entries similar to this. It was fun for the first month or so, but then it became a testament to our waning sex life. It used to make me sad to leaf through it and be reminded of all the sex we'd 'missed'.  
Sad, because she was so excited when she gave it to me on my birthday, like she really did want to do all those things she'd effectively 'promised'. Sad because reality kicked in and the gift of 'reasons to have sex' were replaced with reasons not to have sex.
So, a word of advice from your old pal Nero. Don't give someone a gift like this unless you're prepared to follow through with it. Because if you don't it just becomes a depressing daily/weekly/monthly reminder of what is wrong with your partnership.  Sure, it starts out as fun thing but it sours when suggestions are left ignored.

And it's a two way street - you can give someone this in order to spark up your sex life but if they don't pick up on the prompts it becomes an albatross around your neck. It'll just make you more sad/depressed/or angry.

I should point out that I didn't get completely morose.  After about the third month I stopped looking at it. there was no point flipping through it because by then I knew whatever she had written in there wasn't happening. I'd look at it occasionally, when I wanted to feel sorry for myself, but then I'd bury it back in my bedside drawer - until next time.

I guess the smart thing to do would have been to throw it away but I didn't. Where it is now I have no idea - it would probably make me chuckle now, to be reminded of all her sexy promises. Promises she would have been so sincere about as she wrote them...

There are two footnotes to this story... which I'll save for another day. (Part 2)

This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday


click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

TMI Tuesday: January 16, 2018 ~ Tell the Truth


1. A friend gave you a pie touting it as a favorite family recipe, and you ate this pie and got sick – or had an allergic reaction. The friend calls a few days later to ask, “How did you like the pie?” What would you say?
~ "It tasted fine when I ate it, but I got sick later and I'm wondering if it's the pie? Did anyone else experience any problems?"

2. Your significant other really wants to try the “swingers’ lifestyle” but you really do not want to do this. Do you:
a. Tell him/her no, you are not interested
b. Do it, and go along to make her/him happy
c. Say yes, because you’ll try anything once
d. Say no, with no explanation and forbid your significant other from venturing into swinging.
~ If you 'really do not want to do this' then of course [a] you must tell them you're not interested. But do make and take the time to discuss it.

3. Have you texted nude photos to someone and had it come back to bite you in the ass – as in someone taking revenge for your misjudgement?
~ No, I haven't sent anyone any dick pics so I have nothing to worry about. My wife once texted me a photo of one of her boobs but she got so paranoid she texted back 5 minutes later and insisted I delete it. I was unimpressed with her lack of trust.

4. Have you or would you ever stop having a relationship with someone who had a weight problem, and their physique drastically changed?
~ No, that's never happened. Not an issue - I like 'real women' and in my experience they are better in bed. If they became morbidly obese that might raise/create some issues.

5. Would you rather find true love or win the lottery with winnings of $10,000 (usd)?
~ $10,000 will not last long at all. I'd rather find true love.

Bonus: Which topic of conversation do you avoid at all costs – politics or religion?
~ I can't say I avoid them at all costs, but yes, I do tread carefully on those subjects. I don't discuss my views on Palestine with my Jewish friend, and I'm trying to ease up the Trump tirades too. Most people already have a particular P.O.V. on politics and religion and you're unlikely to change their view.

Double Bonus: you should read yesterday's Sexting Selfies because Part 2 is coming tomorrow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, January 15, 2018

Sexting Selfies


Masturbation Monday Prompt for Week 17 - original image source
NB: this is a work of complete fiction, based on the image prompt, and should not be construed as anything real or pertaining to the image creator...

"What do you think?" she asked, out of the blue. Out of left field was probably more accurate. The picture she'd sent me was waaaay out of left field. Completely unexpected.

It was a selfie. A selfie of her boobs.

A selfie of her boobs and she was completely naked, except for the bed covers that were pulled up to her hips. I would have been able to see her pussy too, if it wasn't for her free hand splayed out to cover that bit. Her boobs looked great but I especially liked her nipples. They were big and hard and firm and just how I like them.

I licked my lips and swallowed, as I imagined putting my mouth around them and suckling at her breasts.

"Well?" she enquired again.

"OMG you look fabulous!!!" I replied, after debating with myself how many exclamations marks I should use. I wanted to acknowledge how grateful I was to receive the pic, but I didn't want to come off as too desperate. I wanted her to think all my online female friends sent me those types of pics, even if they didn't. Even if this was the very first one I'd received, ever.

"You like?" she continued.

"Yeah, I like!" I replied, adding the 'smiley face with sunglasses' emoji to let her know I was cool with it. I was down. "You have great boobs. And I really love your nipples. They look fantastic"

"Yeah, they're big and hard right now" she replied, "I got myself so excited deciding what type of selfie to send you that they just kinda popped out like that"

"I'm big and hard too!!" I typed. My finger hovered over the 'Send' button. Should I say that? Was it too much? Too lame? 'Jesus - a woman sends you a pic of her boobs and asks you what you think of them and you don't know what to say?' I admonished myself. 'Send the fucking message and start flirting - maybe she'll send you more!!' 

I listened to my inner voice and pressed 'send'. My phone made the ubiquitous 'whoosh' sound as the message was delivered. I stared at the screen, awaiting a reply.  There was no reply. My heart sank.

'What were you expecting, you idiot? You've known the woman for ages, you know what she's like. She's shown no interest in you sexually but last night she gets drunk in a bar and tells you she feels sorry for you after you whined all night about not getting any - so she say's gonna sext you today and... you fell for it! You've been punk'd!!'

I was just about to tell myself to STFU when...

The phone pinged. She had replied!

"You're hard and I'm wet - whatever shall we do?"

'Ask her how wet she is, tell her to send you a pussy pic!'

"Wet? Are you teasing me?" I typed. "Prove it - send me a pic of your wet pussy!" I added the 'big grinning smiley face' emoji and pressed 'send'. Whoosh!

"Oh I'm wet alright, I'm sooooo wet!" she replied. "If you want a pussy pic you'll have to send me a dick pic first. I need to see if you're worthy of receiving a rare but precious picture of my cooch......... so make it BIG!!!!"

'Shit! Jesus!' I cursed inwardly - I hadn't anticipated that. I've never taken a dick pic before. No-one's ever asked for one. Now what do I do? 'Take the fucking dick pic! Drop your pants, flop it out, and take the fucking photo!' 

I did as I was told.

I stood up, dropped my pants, shucked my boxers down my thighs, and grabbed my dick. With my left hand I switched my phone to camera mode and aimed it my stiff cock. 'That's not hard enough, she'd gonna think you're a pussy. Jerk it a bit, jack your cock, make it really hard for her...'

Again I did what I was told.

I started wanking my cock, using a soft delicate grip. My balls bounced as I pumped my prick faster and faster. I was quite excited and it felt really good. My cock throbbed as the head turned a rich purple. If I kept this up I'd be cumming soon. Was that allowed? Would she think I was a premature ejaculator?

Then my phone pinged again.

"What's happening - do we have a deal? You show me yours and I'll show you mine, right?"

'Don't lose her buddy - take the fucking pic now and send it. Hurry!'

I lined my dick up in the phone's screen and clicked a pic. It looked terrible. It was slightly out of focus and my cock was sloping away, making it look smaller.

"Just taking it now. My cock is so big and hard I can't fit it in the frame!" I replied, adding a 'laughing so hard I'm crying' emoji so she'd know I was being self deprecating. And then I returned to the job at hand, namely trying to take a good photo of the knob in my hand.

"Mmmmmmmm! I can't wait. My pussy is so wet now. I'm touching it, in anticipation. And squeezing my nipples. They're so stiff...!!" she replied.

'That'll do, that's good enough, just send the bloody thing. Christ, why didn't you take some of these before? It's 20fucking18, everyone's sending them now, you should have had some stored on your phone and ready to send------'

I cut myself off and sent the damn pic. And waited for the reaction.

And waited.

And waited some more. It probably wasn't more than a few seconds but time stood still in that moment and it seemed like an eternity. Until the phone pinged again. My heart leapt as the adrenalin surged through my body - I looked at the phone, expecting to see her pussy...

'Yeah, nah. You're too small bro' and who the fuck uses emojis at your age? No pussy pic for you OLD MAN!!!!"

'Jesus.Fucking.Christ!' My blood boiled as the adrenalin coursing through my body turned to incandescent rage. It was like a switch had been flipped and I was suddenly so angry - so very very angry.

'Jesus matey, your wife is the fucking bitch from hell. I bet she's laughing her ass off. Are you going to take that shit? You should go upstairs right now and fucking give her what for.'

Once again I did as I was told...

-~o0o~-

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday
Click the link for more stories like this one!

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Teacher Sex: Rayna Culver

I have a prurient interest in criminal cases involving female teachers and young students. I know these are sex crimes but a double standard does exist IMO. Societally we all know it's wrong for a male teacher to have sex with a younger female student (she was groomed/coerced) but when the genders are reversed there's a part of us that thinks "did the experience really damage him?" or "did she force him to do anything he didn't want to?"

Those are not questions we'd countenance with a female victim. As a male, sure, I would have loved to have been 'seduced' by an older women when I was a horny adolescent - in theory. The reality is that it would most likely have messed with my head ultimately, and probably fucked up my future sex life.

What I found most fascinating about these cases is that very often the women are quite attractive and presumably quite capable of getting laid if they wanted sex. Underscoring that point is that often times these women are married. So it's not just sex they're after, they want power over these young boys. They want to be the one in control, 'teaching' these young teens, they want to 'deflower' them and 'be their first'. The motive is similar to most adult male predators too.

In this post we profile...

Rayna Culver, a 43-year-old married middle school teacher from New Jersey, is accused of carrying on a long-term sexual relationship with her 15-year-old student, whom prosecutors say she adopted. When the young boy was kicked out of a relative’s home in December 2015, Culver invited him to stay with her. In early 2016, she became his legal guardian.

He would later tell investigators that he believed Culver invited him into her home to eventually “make sex a part of their relationship,” according to court documents, cited by South Jersey Times, stated.

The student reportedly told authorities that his relationship with Culver turned sexual in June 2016, when she began to fondle him one night before bed, stripped off his clothes, then proceeded to perform oral sex on him and have intercourse with him. The alleged victim gave the authorities his cellphone containing text message exchanges with Culver, whose phone number was listed under the entry “Mom.”

“After that first incident, they would engage in sex often, and it was to the point where he felt that if he told her to stop she would get mad and kick him out of the house,” according to the complaint.

The 15-year-old eventually sent Culver a text message allegedly saying he no longer wanted to have sex, but she expressed a desire to continue with the affair, according to the complaint. He told authorities that the two of them had sex almost every day over the course of several months.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

OPP ~ #SoSS - blogs I love

This photo from May More © was submitted to #SinfulSunday but didn't win!
I'm stunned, it was the hottest pic I've seen all week! Find the original here

The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Brigit Delaney - 'Brigit Writes' ~ "What are you doing to keep me?"

I've only recently discovered Brigit but she's great. This is a post that struck a chord with me - because I'm a guy that sometimes wonders if my wife really 'gets' me at all sometimes. I'll be writing my own post on the issue Brigit has raised shortly:

My slowness to "get" things when it comes to our relationship is maddening for my husband, I know. I process the conversations we have at less than a snail's pace, but I like to believe that when I do finally "get" something...I really get it.

For example, all those years and years of late night conversations that ended simply and sadly with him saying, "I just want you to want me." And my infuriating response of, "But what does that look like?" It exasperated him. Because it's like I just forgot, somewhere along the way, how to love him in his language.  
It took me too long to realize that desire and sex were related but not the same. It also took me too long to realize just how simple my husband's needs really were. It brings me to the question in the title post.... [continued]

Lascivious Lucy ~ "Alice Rolls the Dice"

I love Lucy's erotic fiction and she digs out some amazing vintage pornography to illustrate them. This is an excerpt from just one of her many stories:
Alice could feel how wet the command made her as she sauntered to the bar. She stood before it, and paused to pull the straps of the filmy dress down. The dress pooled around her feet. The emperor nodded in approval. Alice felt her nipples harden as she bent over the bar. 
She looked back to watch the Emperor move behind her and pull his toga aside. His hard cock seemed to point at her. “You’re going to love this,” he said, and plunged his cock into her pussy. Alice gave a cry, loving his hands clutching at her hips. He continued to fuck her, pounding into her. Alice writhed beneath him and reached forward to knead her own breasts.

She heard him cry out and felt his cock twitch in orgasm. Her lips twisted in a pout as he pulled out before she had a chance to reach her own orgasm... [continued]

Morag - Morag's Moist Musings ~ "Thoughts on Foreplay"

This is another topic dear to my heart. I've been angsting about it a lot in recent months. Does she want more? Do I want more? Unfortunately every woman (and man) is different so Morag's is just one more opinion on the subject.
Women, we are constantly being told, want/expect/demand* (*delete as appropriate depending on your chosen woman’s magazine) more foreplay. There exists, so it would seem, a direct relationship between our enjoyment of sex and the quality/amount of foreplay we receive. Apparently we cannot have a fulfilling or satisfying sexual experience with out it.

Now all this seems a bit one-sided. “What about him?” I hear you cry, “Men enjoy foreplay too, you know.”

It’s true, men do enjoy foreplay. If I’m being honest, foreplay isn’t all about the “stuff” that’s being done to me. I love to turn my partners on; touching them, teasing them, sucking their cocks... [continued]

Friday, January 12, 2018

It’s goodnight from me...


via Instagram

This is @so_cal_barbie © in another little fantasy number for #fetishfriday πŸ—

#fetishwear #fantasywear #mask #masque #chained #dressup #stockingsfetish #sweetdreams #neroblogshere

I know someone who would look good in this!


via Instagram

#NotTelling #FriskyFriday #FetishFriday #sexylingerie #lingerie #garterbelt #butt #babe #neroblogshere

Thursday, January 11, 2018

My Instagram Top 9 pics for 2017

Apparently these are the nine most popular pics I posted on Instagram in 2017. I'm not sure how they pick them, but I'll trust their algorithm since I can't be bothered doing it (and wouldn't know how)!


The second image is one I created using various pics of LexyLu, but the rest are mostly reposts of someone else's image, usually with a filter or frame added to 'make it better' (IMO). The Lisa Lipps image had proven surprisingly popular. It kept getting likes throughout the year - presumably from people checking the hashtag. Funny, because that's not my usual taste in women. I just post pics that catch my attention at the time, and/or 'move me' ie they're fantasy pics of women light years out of my league.

As I say on my Instagram page:
99% of images are sourced from the Internet so © them not me. If you know of someone I haven't credited let me know in the comments so I can fix it.
I've never had anyone ask me to remove a pic (and I do manage to tag 98% of the original artists when I post) and a few of them have even 'liked' my post and/or made a positive comment. I suspect this is because I can add the hashtags they can't (due to modesty - one mustn't 'humblebrag' on IG apparently) ie #smokinghot #datass #boobs etc. The one exception came from #fetishmodel Starfuckedmodel who asked me (in the comments) "why did you use such a shitty filter?" regarding one of her pics that I posted.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

KOTW ~ Anal

This is a piece of erotic fiction, submitted to the KOTW (Kink of the Week) meme, following their prompt 'Anal'...

My wife and I took a week's vacation after Xmas. I'd anticipated an action packed week but there really wasn't much to do since it rained the whole time. Most of our time was spent in our hotel room drinking local wine from the local liquor store… with me watching cable movies while she read dirty stories on Literotica. And that was it.

You read that right. We were up late every night but nothing sexual was happening. My wife was having her period and had made it clear nothing was going to happen. No hand jobs, no blowjobs, and definitely no sex! I was pissed off, not just because of my blue balls but because I knew she was reading her Kindleporn. I didn't think that was fair, not at all.

By midnight I thought "Fuck this!" and climbed into bed - I was tired. It had been a long day of doing nothing while my wife binged out for six hours on dirty stories on her iPad.

The problem was that as I climbed into bed I saw a half drunk bottle of red wine on the bedside table. As I drifted off I started imagining my wife so horny from her dirty stories that she was using the wine bottle as a dildo while she fingered her clit. It was quite a depraved mental image and of course all it achieved was to make me wide awake and fully erect. I then became fixated on making this fantasy happen, but deep down I knew it wouldn't, so I in desperation I thew off the covers and asked my wife "how long are you going to read for?"

"Are you horny?" she asked rhetorically, since my hard-on was self evident.

"Yes" I replied, but she was already putting down her iPad and fishing my cock out of my boxers. She started jacking me off but I stopped her and shucked off my underwear since I was keen for a decent hand job. She took off her slip and then straddled my legs, facing my feet. She positioned her naked self just behind my cock, giving me a great view of her luscious butt.

She resumed jacking me off, and lightly fingering my balls for good measure. I couldn't see anything, but it felt damn good. She had a good rhythm going and I presumed it was exciting for her too, imagining that it was her cock between her legs and wanking it like a guy would. And on she went, pausing only to switch hands when her wrists got tired (one hand on my cock, the other on my balls).

And on she went, pausing only to switch hands when her wrists got tired. And on and on she went...

"Are you going to cum?" I asked finally "because I'm not going to, not this way"

"Oh, okay" she said lightly, hopping up gingerly, before squatting back down and feeding my still hard cock into her sopping pussy. 

"What about your period?" I asked, surprised.

"That finished this morning" she said.

WTF? It was midnight! I was angry at what I considered a wasted day - a day we could have spent fucking - but then I remembered this was just how my wife rolled. She clamped her legs around my hips in the reverse cow girl position and continued fingering her clit as she rocked herself back and forth slowly. I grabbed her hips and supported her in what I presumed was her imminent orgasm.

And on she went, alternating between gentle rocking and bouncing on my dick, fingering herself all the while, and clearly enjoying herself. She showed no sign of stopping so I started thrusting upwards in the hope of getting one or both of us off. She was very excited and started leaning forward quite steeply, her asshole staring back at me, as I gripped her hips firmly. I knew what I wanted but I resisted the temptation since I knew assplay was always very hit or miss with her.

But then I becaome fixated on that ass bouncing in front of me - it soon became crystal clear to my male brain that my wife was presenting her puckered rosebud to me on purpose. Her movements were quite blatant and the penny dropped - I now realised what she wanted from me (but was too shy to say). So I placed my thumb delicately on her starfish, but did not push it forward. She responded by pushing back, creating a suction seal on her back door which had already started to pucker invitingly.

I pulled my thumb off, wet it, and then plunged it deep into her butt. Her back arched, and she ground herself hard against me - my cock filling her wet cunt and my thumb filling her slippery arse. She was moaning now and I felt her ass pulsing around my digit as she picked up the pace. I began ramming that thumb in and out of her butthole, creating the sensation of a double penetration fuck. Suddenly she sat bolt upright, clutching her clit and pussy, and groaned loudly. She was cumming, deep and hard. Finally.

She pulled herself off me and slumped back on the bed, still groaning. She was spent. It was then I spied her iPad between my feet. WTF?! She had been reading her dirty stories the whole time?! No wonder that frikken hand job had gone on forever. I was just her little fucktoy while she read… what was she reading? All I could briefly see on her iPad were a few words about a gang bang and a slut wife who had to 'take it, whore!'

"Uh uh" I chided, grabbing two pillows and stacking them on the bed. "My turn now".

Still groggy she assumed the position without argument, climbing on top of the pillows in the doggy position, as I got off the bed and positioned myself behind her. I spread her cheeks and placed my stiff dick at her rose bud. "What are you doing?" she asked, confused.

"I'm going to fuck you in the ass" I replied, as I grabbed the lube and lathered it over my cock, and then her asshole. My tone indicated she had no choice in the matter. Very slowly I pushed the head of my cock in a little, before pushing forward and slowly inserting myself in all the way. She said nothing, until I grabbed her hip and pulled out just as slowly as I'd gone in.

"You want to fuck me in the ass do you?" she said, accepting her fate. "You dirty boy!"

I pushed myself back in as she continued talking dirty: "oh yeah, fuck my ass, make me take it, use my holes, mmmm." I began to thrust harder. I continued banging away and she continued talking dirty, telling me what a nasty boy I was for fucking her tiny little asshole. I held her hips and relished the feeling of her tight ass wrapped around my fat cock. 

"Omigod" gasped my wife "your cock... in my ass" 

She said it like it was whole new feeling for her, even though my cock had been in her ass once before. Maybe it was a whole new feeling? The way she said "in my ass" made it sound like she liked how dirty it all was. I started pumping in and out of her butt really fast. I was definitely ready to cum now and I told her as much before rising up higher and plunging my cock in and out, spearing her with my stiff prick. 

Suddenly I was ejaculating, pumping out a river of hot sticky cum into her tight asshole. God it felt good! My whole body shook as my climax spasmed through me from tip to toe.

Now it was me that was spent, and I rolled over and collapsed on my side of the bed. It was late, I was tired, so I wanted to sleep. My wife curled herself up and nestled down in front of me. Pushing her ass back against my softened cock we spooned as I drifted off to sleep. My last thought was "we've got some catching up to do in the morning..."

-~o0o~-

This is a piece of erotic fiction, submitted to the KOTW (Kink of the Week) meme, following their prompt 'Anal'. You can read more stories like this one by others by clicking this link.



This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday


click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

TMI Tuesday: January 9, 2018 ~ Nosey


We’re getting nosey. After all, this is TMI Tuesday!

1. How old is your longest living relative?
~ 85. I saw her last October and will see her again in July.

2. Do you hope to live to this age? Why?
~ Yes - or older. 100 is the goal, and with modern medicine it will probably be possible.

3. What is your family’s native language? Your native language?
~ English. Because we were born here. But our roots are in Europe where a different tongue is spoken.

4. How old were you when you started dating?
~ I think my first formal date was 14 and it was awkward and awful. Probably because I had been at an all boys school for two years prior.

5. How old were you when you first had sex – any kind of sex?
~ I can't recall when I first learned to masturbate. Probably 13 or 14? By 16 I was getting naked with my girlfriend and doing everything but fuck.

Bonus: How would you describe your sense of humor?
~ Dry. Dark. Acerbic. Sarcastic at times.


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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, January 8, 2018

Well, this happened last Thursday...

We have a bed similar to this at the vacation house
We got home at about 1am, after visiting another couple for dinner at their vacation home near ours. The three of them polished off three or four bottles of wine between them, while I remained the sober driver. I think my wife and the other guy drank the most, since his wife was doing the cooking. He used to work for my wife, but quit when she sold the company five years ago. 

My wife always used to joke (to me, not him) that he’d been hired because he made great eye candy at the office, which was primarily female. He was young, slim, attractive and looked great in a suit. He was also from London and master of the infamous British charm - yes, I could see why my wife had him working for her. Reporting to her. Doing what she told him to do.

She used to say he wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer but he was the shiniest.

Anyway, when we got home I worked on my blog (on my iPad, not easy) finishing off I got laid on New Year’s Day. My wife went to bed. I thought she’d gone to sleep but thirty minutes later I noticed the light was on and she was reading. On her iPad. Her dirty stories, no doubt. 

I went upstairs and sure enough, there she was - propped up in bed reading her Kindleporn.

Honestly I wasn’t horny (my wife had pissed me off during that five hour dinner and drinks marathon - I’ll spare you the inane details) but I was bored and wide awake because he had an espresso machine so we all had to have one. And since I knew I wouldn’t fall asleep quickly... I figured I had to do something to occupy my time.

I dropped to my knees beside the bed (her side) and lifted the covers, exposing her naked lower half. I pushed up her nightie and climbed up onto the bed, between her legs. “What are you doing?” she asked, knowing full well what was coming next.

“Don’t worry” I said, “you just keep reading your book - I’m going to eat your pussy”

And I did.

Do you want the details? It was very similar to last time, except this time my wife was trying to read her Kindleporn while I did it. She writhed and squirmed, and tried to hold my head down hard on her clit with one hand while she held the iPad in the other. Which made getting to the next page difficult for her. 

We both persevered, until I upped the ante by wetting one finger and sliding it inside her pussy. I was licking her clit while fingering her and it was driving her wild. I then doubled down by wetting a second finger and pushing that one in after the first one. I now had two fingers inside her, both curling up as I slid them in and out, and I could feel her cunt getting tighter and tighter. 

Next thing I know she was tossing the iPad to my side of the bed and telling me to get up. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“I want your cock - now!” she said, as if I’d just asked the dumbest question in the world. “C’mon, get up and stick it inside me!”

So I did as I was told. 

Well, ‘as requested’ would be more accurate. She wasn’t being dominant, she was just highly aroused and needed my stiff prick inside her. Whether it was the fingering, my tongue, the dirty stories, or seeing her Man Candy again I didn’t know - and neither did I care. 

I pushed myself up inside her and started thrusting. She hugged my shoulders as I bit her neck, and concentrated on putting all my movement into my hips. I pumped in and out in long steady thrusts and told her how tight she felt (because she did) . She was moaning and groaning and writhing beneath me and I’m pretty sure she was about to cum (if she hadn’t already) when...

We could hear our daughter at the bottom of the stairs. Which made us both stop dead in our tracks. 

It’s hard to explain, but there is no door to the Master Bedroom in my wife’s vacation home. Whoever had it before us added a mezzanine and didn’t think a door was needed. Our daughter and her five friends had taken over the Master Bedroom during their stay, but they had all left that day and we had reclaimed it. 

My daughter passed the stairs on her way to the bathroom, and then returned back to her bedroom. And shut the door.

Which was the signal to resume fucking.

By this time I was flat on my back on my side of the bed, so my wife leaned over and started jacking my cock. She jerked it pretty hard and to be honest it hurt like hell. “Not so hard” I whispered, “maybe you should just suck it...” My wife was on that dick like a $2 crack whore. By which I mean she was quick. Not a whore.

My wife has a great mouth for sucking cock and although I never cum that way I do really enjoy her blowjobs. I told her how much I enjoyed her lips on my dick and said she was great little cocksucker. This seemed to please her so I continued in that fashion, telling her how great my cock felt in her warm wet mouth, and how much I liked fucking her mouth. 

As my dirty talk escalated so did her technique. She was now a blur of hands, lips, and mouth as she jacked my cock, fingered my balls, and sucked my dick. I was telling her what a dirty little girl she was and she responded by proving me right. She deep throated my cock and fingered my asshole while I called her a nasty girl. And a few other things.

Suddenly she got up and swung her legs over me, mounting me reverse cowgirl style. As she did it I saw for the first time that she was really in the zone. Maybe it was the alcohol but her eyes were glazed, half lidded, and she looked totally overcome by lust. She grabbed my dick, aimed at her wet slit, and then just dropped herself down on top of me.

I screamed. Literally.

“Ow! That hurts!” I yelped, grabbing her hips and pushing her back up and off me. Honestly her pussy was so tight it was like she was a frigid virgin. It hurt like hell. “Take it easy” I admonished “take it slowly.”

My wife did exactly that, holding me gently, angling me correctly, and then slowly easing back and sitting herself back down on my swollen shaft. “Mmmmmmm” I groaned, “that feels better!” And it did. My wife started a slow canter on my dick, before quickening her pace and moving into a full gallop. 

I told her how great she felt but by now she was completely gone. She was bouncing up and down on my cock with her eyes closed and her head thrown back. She was off in deep space as best I could tell. She rode me hard and fast for quite some time, until finally slumping forward onto the mattress. She continued to fuck me, bucking backwards onto my dick, thrusting herself backwards and forwards but I could see she was tiring.

“Do you want me to fuck you now?” I asked.

That woke her up.

“Oh god yes!” she cried, as she jumped forward and got into position. She was on her elbows, head down and ass up. “Fuck me please,” she begged “stick your cock in and fuck me hard”. Truly, she was pleading with me like a wanton whore. I hadn’t heard her talk like this in a long time. 

“Yeaah, that feels good, do it!” she said, like the cat who got the cream, as I grabbed her hips and thrust my rock hard cock into her tight wet cunt in one fell swoop. I wasted no time in pummelling her hard and fast, and she was ready for me. I gripped her hips firmly and pounded her hard - and she loved it.

She felt really wet but really tight so I told her that (again). I told her it felt like I was fucking a twenty year old (I meant it) and that just set her off. She was pushing back on me again, meeting my thrusts with her own. I asked if her if this was what it would have been like if I’d been able to fuck her at University - because it felt like I was fucking a young hottie. 

I’m not sure what was going through her head but it must have been good because she was moaning “yes yes yes yes yes” as I continued with the dirty talk. When I slapped her ass she cried out “Oh god, yesss!” and just as I was about to spank her again she panted “I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum.”

This was new, because my wife never signals this. Ever.

I grabbed her hips even tighter and thrust my dick in even deeper and harder and banged her for all I was worth. My balls were bouncing against her pussy lips, slapping her clit, and I could feel her tighten around me. My wife was moaning incoherently now, and that pushed me over the line.

My balls exploded and I erupted, blasting her sugar walls with a torrent of cum. I kept thrusting, banging once, twice, and then a third time before holding myself deep inside her as she grabbed my balls from underneath herself and squeezed the last drops of cum from me. 

When I was done I pulled back and she hopped forward, flopping down on the bed - on her back with her arms outstretched.  “Oh god, oh god” she repeated “oh god...” Her words really did trail off like that, she was completely gone. And done. And well and truly fucked. 

I was pretty done too. It had been good for me but even better for her. Which was good because I had something special planned for later in the week, after our daughter had returned home ahead of us (she had a thing on at the weekend) and we could have the house to ourselves. It was all looking most promising...

-~o0o~-

This happened last Wednesday but I’ve only been able to post it now. I hate to be a buzzkill but due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control ‘what I had planned’ never happened. I’m going to try to write it up as erotic fiction for KOTW so stay tuned for that...

-~o0o~-

This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday
Click the link for more stories like this one!



Sunday, January 7, 2018

Karina Akopyan ~ getting a little wacky for #SinfulSunday!


via Instagram

@karinaakopyan_ getting a little wacky for #SinfulSunday πŸ‘€©
Check her out, she constructs amazing #fetish pieces.
#artistsoninstagram 

Saturday, January 6, 2018

OPP ~ #SoSS - blogs I love


I thought I’d give the #SoSS meme another try since I’ve got it wrong on previous attempts. It’s a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

So, here we go, in particular order:

May More (If Sex Matters) ~ My First Boyfriend’s Bucket List of Sexual Activities
I had very tight jeans on and as we were in company we couldn’t undress, so he began to fondle my breasts underneath my blouse. He had done this before and I greatly enjoyed it and this time was no different. In fact, as he tweaked my nipples and gently stroked the aureola I began to feel extremely horny. He was thrusting his captive erection up against me and kissing my neck, but didn’t touch me between the legs at all. He didn’t need to because all of a sudden I was overwhelmed, my eyes rolled back in my head and I had an extremely intense, but very quiet orgasm. So quiet Jim didn’t even realise...
Cara Theron ~ Age Play
“I’d rather be an old man’s sweetheart than a young man’s fool.” 
That’s a saying I learned from my mother. She’d mention it from time to time when the topic of dating came up. She’d been with a young man early in life and it took an older man to teach her a little about love. 
I’ve thought about whether I have secret daddy issues. I lost my father when I was very young and haven’t had a true father figure in my life. That’s a lot of formative years without a man to guide you. I don’t think I’ve done too terribly growing into a woman without a father, but it can make a difference when it comes to confidence. 
I don’t believe that means I look at him and consider him a substitute for my father. I mean, I call him Daddy because in many ways he brings out that little girl inside me. But… I don’t feel about him the way I felt about my father. If I felt for my dad or did the things with my dad that I’ve done with Daddy, we’d be discussing something else entirely.
He’s still a man, one who is very good at arousing me when I’m around him. I spent a lot of my visit naked or nearly so and just the thought of being touched by him made me wet...
Cimmerian Sentiment (Quick and Dirty Stories) ~ Something To Look At
We were alone in the small train car and it would be a while to the next stop. I was wearing a rather tight low-cut top and had made numerous glances at the mans crotch - I think I may have spurred him on a little. 
His hand ventured across his growing bulge and this time he rubbed it a few times before resting it back on his lap. I gave him the slightest of smiles, approval of what he was doing. He ruffled the section of the newspaper he was holding and I glanced over, caught his eye and flicked my gaze to the distinct outline of his hard on. 
The long sexy shape of the shaft pressing against the fabric and showing the gentle bulbous curve of the head... I shifted in my seat feeling that sweet surge of hormones that had plagued me all day. Without a word I watched him unzip his trousers, I licked my lips and swallowed hard. I gave up all pretense of looking at my phone as he reached his hand into the hole and coaxed his hard shaft from hiding.
I tensed in the way I do when I’m overly aroused suddenly and the unmistakable feeling of wet slipped out of me into my underwear. He was so brazen and bold. To do this and in public. I couldn’t tear my eyes from his strong hand as he began a steady stroke, only interrupting the rhythm to massage the fat tip...
Since my iPad is misbehaving I’ll stop it here. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.



Friday, January 5, 2018

Thursday, January 4, 2018

I got laid on New Years Day!


via Instagram 


I woke up early on New Years Day, for no reason. My post Rough Oral was scheduled to post that day so I reread it, just to make sure there were no mistakes. Then I decided to tweak it just a little, and next thing I knew I had got myself sexually excited. Probably because I was remembering what happened, and wishing I could do it some more.

Then I heard my wife get up.

We are currently in my wife’s vacation house, holed up with my daughter and five of her friends. My wife loves to be hostess-with-the-mostess so I knew she was about to get up and ask the girls who wanted pancakes and who wanted waffles. I knew also that the girls just wanted to be left alone - it was 8am and they were in holiday mode ie they weren’t getting up until 11am at the earliest. 

I had ideas of my own about what was for breakfast and none of them included waffles or pancakes! 

I met my wife in the hallway as she was coming out of the bedroom, and pushed her back inside.

“W-w-what are you doing?” she asked, surprised.

“I’m going to eat your pussy” I said, as I pushed her back on the bed.

“No, you can’t” she said, trying to get up again “the kids will be up soon and they’ll want breakfast”

“It’s early, let them sleep in” I countered, pushing her back down on the bed and pulling her legs apart.

“No, I haven’t had a shower” she pleaded, “wait til later, after I’ve showered.”

I wasn’t worried about whether she’d showered, and told her as much as I dropped to my knees. “Good, all the better...” I said, as I dropped my head down and inhaled her scent. “You smell great!” I reassured her. My tongue was on her pussy now, lapping at her soft folds.

She gave up all resistance at that point and lay back and... enjoyed it.

I ran my tongue all over her labia before settling in on her clit. I circled it a few times before pressing down hard with my flattened tongue. My wife grabbed my head and pulled me in deeper. I responded by bobbing up and down - smashing my flattened tongue into her clit hard. She loved it.

She was writhing and moaning and clutching my head to her wet cunt like she feared it might snap off and roll away. I pulled my head back and grabbed a lungful of air (I’m asthmatic - not very sexy, I know) before returning my tongue to her pussy. This time I twirled it up and down her wet slit, teasing her before once again homing in on her clit.

Again she grabbed my head, pulling me in tight, and grinding her sex against my face. Her moans became louder and then suddenly she released me - her back arched and her arms were flung back against the mattress, outstretched. I presume she came, it sure looked and sounded like it.

I licked my fingers and gently ran two of them into her cunt. I worked them in and out, while tapping on her clit with my thumb. Well, not so much tapping as circling it hard around her clit. I don’t normally do that, and definitely without so much pressure, but with a different bed height in the vacation house I was able to manage the move quite successfully.

I know I was doing it right because she once again started moaning and writhing. I was curling my two fingers up in the ‘come hither’ motion, my fingertips pressed against the soft fleshy part of the upper wall (ceiling?) of her vagina. Possibly where her G-spot may or may not be (I’m a guy, I only recently discovered the clitoris).

I started tapping at her clit with my other hand now - more of a light smack really. It wasn’t hard, but hard enough to emulate the sensation of me banging her silly. It must have given her ideas because she looked up at me and said lustily “Stick it in - I want your cock in me”

I was happy to oblige.

I stood up and stepped forward to the side of the bed, angling my stiff prick down at her open pussy. Her legs were spread wide and her pussy was wet, ripe, and flushed. I slid in slowly, pushing forward until I was in to the hilt. My cock was hard and she felt very tight as her cunt devoured me completely.

My wife grabbed my hips and pulled me in deeper (if that were possible) and I started pumping her with long steady strokes. She bent her head and leaned down to watch as my dick sliced in and out of her wet slit. Her teeth were gritted and she was clearly getting off on the image.

I kept hammering away at her, grinding the root of my cock against her clit from time to time, and then alternating with holding my body back so it was just my prick sawing in and out of her. She continued to stare down at it, her face flushed and panting, when we heard the sound of kids coming down the stairs. 

We had put all the kids upstairs in our master bedroom, since there were six of them, and put ourselves in the guest bedroom downstairs. As soon as the kids hit the bottom of the stairs they were going to be right outside our door - meaning they were more than likely to hear me pounding into my wife’s slippery cunt. 

On a squeaky bed.

I know I should have stopped, but I couldn’t.

I was soooo close to cumming. It was there, I knew it. I just needed a few more moments...

I pushed my cock up inside my wife as hard and deep as I could go and let forth a very intense ejaculation. Made even more intense by the fact I had to stifle all noise and movement. I silently pressed myself balls-deep into my wife’s sopping pussy and unloaded a torrent of cum. The orgasm was amazing. 

My wife grabbed my butt and held me there, releasing me only when she felt I was finished. Whether she came or not I don’t know, but she seemed happy. There was nothing to clean up with so I grabbed my tee shirt and used that. 

My wife got up and crossed the hallway into the bathroom four feet away, doing that ‘everything-is-normal-nothing-to-see-here’ walk as she tried to hold my jizz in. 

“What would you like for breakfast girls?” she called out nonchalantly “pancakes or waffles?”

I stayed in bed and went back to sleep. 

Until the waffles were ready...




The siren call...SINFUL SUNDAY