Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Brain Chemistry

Ideas roll around in my head, circling backwards
and forwards - but they're all bad twisted thoughts
NB: This post was originally published on Monday, March 7, 2016 with the title 'This is your brain on... Abstinence?' - a reference to the image above, and it detailed how my mind works when I go without sex for too long. I've come a long way since I wrote this a year ago IMO. Even though I haven't had sex since Jan 4th (2018) I think I've behaved pretty well. Of course, jerking off like a schoolboy while my wife was away for eight days (see here) probably helped! She arrives home tonight, and to be honest I'm too tired and exhausted to fuck her (I've been cleaning up a lot of my junk around the office/house). Which won't be an issue because she'll be jet lagged too and will most likely want to wait 'til the weekend'. Anyway, the prompt for Wicked Wednesday is 'chemistry' so read on. (This is the abridged version, for the original see here)

This is your brain on... Abstinence?

Okay, Abstinence isn't the right word since abstinence is voluntary. Celibacy? Well, I'm not choosing to be celibate either. If you know the word I'm looking for, leave it in the comments section below. Torture is getting closer, but also not it.

The point is: the prolonged lack of sex is affecting my brain chemistry. I'm doing crazy things, I'm become obsessed with even crazier thoughts. I can't sleep at night and I spend a lot of time tossing and turning. On Saturday night I was up until 7.30am - when my body finally passed out. I slept until noon (more about that on Wednesday).

But this is what's been happening, and I don't like it:

One night I resolved that if my wife didn't fuck me on my birthday this year it was 'a sign' that I should sleep with prostitutes. (Because I'm so old and fat, who else would sleep with me?)  For those that missed my first blog... my wife has in recent years failed to have sex with me on my birthday, believing (in her mind) that because we had sex at the weekend that was my 'birthday sex'. I don't think marriage obliges you to have sex if you don't want to, but I also have to wonder where the relationship is headed if you can't be fucked fucking on your partner's birthday. (See yesterday's post for more on this subject)

Last week I found myself on Facebook flirting via FB Messenger with an old flame. She was into it and it escalated quickly into sexual banter, before we both went 'whoa' and backed off. Luckily we're both married* and live on opposite coasts. I had no intention of acting on it, but I was surprised at myself and how 'desperate' I obviously was to connect with someone on a more intimate level. (*She only got married a year ago, jus' saying)

Another time (various times, actually) I found myself making plans in my head as to how I could ask a woman I know on Facebook out for coffee or a lunch. I tell myself it's okay because we both know I'm married (she's just split with her husband three months ago) so nothing will happen, right? We can just hang out and be friends, because I'm sure she needs dating advice from the male perspective, right? Oh yeah, we've only met once IRL - at a party about 2 years ago!! We hit it off (my wife was present) and have continued our connection via Facebook. 'Connection' as in: we occasionally like each others stuff and occasionally comment on each others stuff. SO IT'S TOTALLY FUCKED UP, I KNOW!!! And yet at about 5am on Sunday morning it made perfect sense and I was totally going to do it.

Luckily I didn't.

It's not good and I don't like it, but now I have a greater understanding of why some people have affairs. I'm not talking about the horn dogs, but the 'normal' people. The ones you always thought would never cheat on their spouses, and surprise the hell out of you when they do.

UPDATE: This old post explains what happened about a decade ago, and Part 2 [within the link] explains why I just don’t go there any more.

This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

TMI Tuesday – January 30, 2018 ~ ABC

Another day, another week, another TMI Tuesday.
ABC's of TMI

1. I will never again _____ .
~ have an online affair. Unless your pics are really hot (Yes, I'm weak foolish man). But seriously, if you want to know why not, start here.

2. I stash _____ in my closet.
~ EVERYTHING! Seriously, I'm just trying to clean it out now and even I'm amazed at all the crap I store in there. Basically everything I empty out of my pockets ends up in the drawers. Clothes I don't wear, but might wear. Keepsakes from various vacations...

3. Are you embarrassed when strangers start talking about their sex life to you?
~ It depends on how much they're sharing. Sometimes it can be interesting, other times it can be uncomfortable. I allude to it in Sexting Selfies - Part 2 which is all fiction - but the bit about my wife oversharing to people we've just met is real. 

4. Would you date someone who is celibate?
~ I might date them once, to discuss it, because it would be interesting. But if they said they've chosen to take a year of celibacy I might tell them it's not something I could share and probably wouldn't date them again - unless it was just 'as friends'. 
Actually it might be interesting to ask someone who's chosen celibacy how they'd feel if I got my sexual needs met by others while I dated them? Nothing serious of course, just fuckbuddies and prostitutes, so it shouldn't affect our relationship.

5. What percentage does each of these activities have in your life? (Must equal 100%) – work, play, household, sex, rest/sleep: 
~ work - 10%, play - 50%, household - 9%, sex - 1%, rest/sleep - 30%
Those are guesstimates. I'm not really sure what percentage sex once or twice a month comes to.

Bonus: How do you decompress at the end of each day? How would you like to decompress at the end of each day?
~ I watch television, mainly 'quality programing' not reality or game shows. I'd prefer to have sex, maybe even 'just' mutual masturbation, but my wife prefers to read a book and go to sleep. Lately I've been thinking "God, I'd love a drink" which is weird because I'm not a big drinker. So I don't pour myself a drink at the end of the day because I'm worried if I do I won't stop.

Double Bonus: Yesterday I posted TPGMO: Actual Masturbation on Masturbation Monday.
TPGMO stands for 'This Porno Got Me Off'. If you're into TMI then this post is definitely TMI !!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, January 29, 2018

TPGMO: Actual Masturbation on Masturbation Monday

No, I didn't masturbate on Monday. Today is Monday so... well, I suppose I could have gotten up early... but no. I thought I would blog about Masturbation for Masturbation Monday since no-one else seems to. Honestly when I first started with the meme I thought you had to write about a time that you jerked off, and then post it on Monday.

I'm wrong on both counts,  so clearly your ol' pal Nero takes things too literally sometimes. But I digress...

As I've mentioned in previous posts, and many times on Twitter, my wife left last week for an 8 day conference in China. Well, a four day conference and two days in Hong Kong on either side of it.  It's one of those BNG conferences so I know its BS. The good news is that this left me to my own devices ie I was now free to masturbate.

You're probably thinking "Nero, it's 2018 - if you want jerk off you can do it, you're a free man" and you'd be right, kind of. It's more complicated than that so read TPGMO: When the wife’s away.... if you want know why I went 21 days without sex (not even solo). Suffice to say with my wife gone I was no longer required to wait so I jerked off to this story on Literotica.

I couldn't watch porn because my daughter was in the house, and as I've mentioned previously no daughter should have to hear her father in the den, jerking off to some squealing pornstar.

Luckily for me my daughter left on Friday afternoon for a two night sleep over with her friend, which was unexpected but most welcome. It meant I could watch porn and jerk off - like normal guys do!

Better yet, unlike normal guys, I could watch it on the big screen in our Movie Room!!

Yup, we have a 'home cinema' at our house (but to be honest our daughter is the only one who really uses it) and I was determined to make the most of it. On Friday night, after dinner, I took a seat in the couch in the movie room, pulled up PornHub on my iPad, and streamed it the big screen via Apple TV. Since I was quite horny I didn't bother searching for anything in particular, I just choose from the suggestion on their home page.

A pretty unappetizing selection wouldn't you agree? The problem with free porn is that really have to dig around for the good stuff.
Probably because we all have different tastes I suppose, and everything is on offer.

Luckily the algorithm was working better than just now, when I took that screenshot. On Friday I was fed an array of attractive couples and I clicked on the thumbnail that screamed "Switch Me On - GIRLS RIMMING' since I enjoy the odd rim job and yet I've never watched a rimming porno. I watched all 13 minutes of it but didn't get off.

It was two girls and a guy, and whilst all three were attractive enough only one girl really knew what she was doing. The other one didn't at all, so if you want to educate yourself on rim jobs click the link. The other reason I didn't get off was that I hadn't anticipated seeing so much cock, balls, and asshole up close. Which was silly, since I did select a 'rim job' video!

I now perhaps understand why some women find porn so confronting - they're not necessarily excited by seeing extreme closeups of female genitalia either? I enjoy receiving a rim job but seeing it on the big screen? God - is that what I look like? Is that what my wife sees? Ugh!

Anyway, I didn't get off but I was highly aroused and keen to get off. So when PornHub suggested another title, 'Girl Giving Great Rimjob', I thought I'd try my luck again.

This video was amazing! The girl doing it was really into it, and was a complete master. Well, she looked like she was into it, so maybe she's just a better actor? Anyway, if you want to give your man a good rimjob just watch the movie and learn, she was great. And if you harbor any fantasies of pegging your man (fucking him with a strap-on dildo) then the way to overcome any of his reservations is to give him a few amazing rim jobs first. And finger his ass too, probably, but I digress...

The woman in the video was so good I came in about four and a half minutes.

Which meant 8 minutes of the video were left for Saturday night!  Yes, call me boring but Saturday was a repeat of Friday night. With my daughter back on Sunday I wanted to make the most of big screen porn while I could. The videos were all HD so the quality was excellent and it was like it was all happening live in front of me. So I watched the remaining 8 minutes.

The actresses name is 'Kerry' and the video is actually called 'Punish Me', but whoever uploaded it to PornHub thought 'Girl Giving Great Rimjob' was a better title. Fair call, I'd have to admit. Anyway, Kerry was great foreplay but when the video finished I was ready for one more. Luckily PornHub had another suggestion, and the girl looked cute so...

'Welcome Home by Lyndsey Love' is more of a blow job video, but she does switch it up by rimming him as well. It's one long static shot (emulating homemade porn?) which I'd ordinarily get bored with but once again the look on her face had me hooked. She looked like she was really enjoying what she was doing, and really into the guy she was doing. Maybe he was her boyfriend, maybe she was on ecstasy, -- I dunno -- but it looked hot!

But it didn't get me off.

I got off watching another of her clips, 'Lindsey Love: Rimming & Fucking' which was also sexy AF.  It's all shot from the guy's P.O.V. meaning it's like she's doing it to you (especially when you see it on a big screen). I only got half way through before I popped - so I guess I know what I'll be doing on Monday, after my daughter has gone to school!


TPGMO stands for 'This Porno Got Me Off' if you didn't know. All of the above links will take you to the named title on PornHub, which is an X-rated NSFW site. If you don't want their URL on your browser history (ie you're at work) you can watch the following with my weblink, not PornHub's. She's not a screamer so you don't have to mute it. And if you didn't know what a rim job is... well, I think the screenshot below tells you all you need to know!


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday
Click the link for more stories about masturbation - on Mondays!


Sunday, January 28, 2018

Karina Akopyan looking amazing again on #sinfulsunday 😈

via Instagram 

@karinaakopyan_ looking amazing on #sinfulsunday 😈

She creates fantastic performance pieces so find and follow her @karinaakopyan_ πŸ‘€ © 

Saturday, January 27, 2018

OPP ~ #SoSS - Blogs I love

The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Posy Churchgate - 'Pillow Talk' ~ "Another Superstar Blogger Is Interviewed"

May More at Twenty One
Posy has a great blog and I almost featured her in last week's SoSS, but since she'd just interviewed me for her blog I thought that might seem a bit like I was sucking up. But this week she interviewed May More, who had such great answers I just had to share. I LOL'ed for real when I read the following because May has actually done something I mentioned was fantasy of mine the week before:
I used to watch porn, before I started reading and writing smut every day! I don’t feel the need for it so much now. My man does now and then. Once I sucked his cock kneeling in front of him whilst he watched some porn.

When I was young I used to watch it with a group of friends in a recreational setting. That was cool. It was movies in those days. I think now that porn is on tap, because of the internet, it has lost its allure.
One of my main fantasies is being fucked by a couple of guys while my man has to watch. But I think we will leave that one safely in my head! [continued]

Kayla Lords ~ 'A Sexual Being' "I Rub One Out For Old Times Sake"

Kayla is already well known as curator of the Masturbation Monday meme and her Loving BDSM podcast. She writes great posts, on a variety of sex related subjects and I chose this one because my wife is away for 8 days and I find myself indulging in a little old school 'self love'. And I've always been fascinated by how women do it!
After so many years with a partner who touches my clit more than I do, and a box full of vibrators to do the job, it felt almost quaint to put my hand between my legs and play with my body. As I explored myself again, an old game came to mind. Stroke your clit and let the orgasm build. And don’t stop. No matter what.

It was like old times, in the early days of figuring out how my body worked and masturbating for the first few times. A few times I rubbed one out until I gushed a little, partly because I could, partly because I needed the release. But I always went back to the game.

Swirl. Circle. Rub. Stroke.

My clit grew fat and heavy, pushing against my fingers. The tingles of pleasure I used to love began at the bottom of my feet and crept up my legs, like electrified molasses. Every muscle tightened. I reached out blindly and
... [continued]

Sexilicious Ash - 'Live Vicariously Through A Nympho' ~ "Finally, the threesome I've been waiting for!"

Ash has pretty much stopped blogging now, with the exception of TMI Tuesday posts (for the last 12 months) so this might seem a strange choice for SoSS.  But SoSS is about supporting other sex bloggers so hopefully if a few of you have a wander through her blog and drop a few comments... well, maybe she'll start again?

I climbed on the bed and crawled up to Husband. I kissed him seductively, swirling my tongue around his. Then, I moved over to Jacob and kissed him. I could tell he was very turned on. His breathing was already somewhat heavy. I went back to Husband and started licking his stomach. I moved down further and further until I reached his cock. I licked it and then began to suck it slowly. As I sucked Husband's cock, Jacob started to caress my ass. I knew he would love my ass in those jeans. I wore them just for him. 
After he was done playing with my ass, Jacob laid back down and I started to suck his cock. He moaned out as I deep throated his large meat. I went back and forth doing this for some time, sucking cock and making out with them. Then I decided that I wanted some attention for myself. So, I laid down on the bed and they started to caress my body all over. The feeling of both of their hands on my body at the same time was spectacular. I took off my pants and they both started to rub my pussy on top of my panties. Then, they removed my panties. I had fantasized about Jacob's fingers touching my clit for so long. I couldn't believe it was about to actually happen. 
I held my breath as I waited for his fingers to make their way to my sweet spot. Then, it happened. I moaned out and bit my lip. Husband was rubbing my thigh at the same time. It felt so good that I didn't want it to stop. They took turns rubbing my clit and then Jacob crawled down to the end of the bed and started to lick my pussy. Husband continued to run his hands all over my body. Then, I pulled him close to me so that I could kiss him. I made out with Husband as Jacob continued to dine on my wet pussy. It felt so good and I was very close to cumming, but then... 

Friday, January 26, 2018

Pardon my OCD but...

via Instagram

Pardon my OCD but the real torture here is the horizon line in this photo!
A very nice outfit for #fetishfriday though, from @libidex πŸ—πŸ”’

#latex #rubber #fetishmodel #leatherboots #thighhighboots #neroblogshere

UPDATE: I see (now that this image has crossposted to Blogger) that the image wasn't cropped properly. That is driving me even crazier than the sloping horizon! But I shall leave it as it is so that I may become more Zen.

Relax Nero, relax! 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

TPGMO (OPP) - When the wife’s away.... Part 2 (Final) 😈

My apologies for splitting this post into two parts. I started this post to let y'all know I've been spanking the monkey like a teenager since my wife's been gone (see Part 1) but it's been therapeutic and all is good. 

And since TPGMO stands for 'This Porno Got Me Off' (OPP = Other People's Posts) I'll leave you with a small excerpt from a five page story on Literotica that seemed to work for me (feel free to analyze why). Click this link to read the full story.

'Unusual Dinner Party' by tomlitilia© 
It was certainly somewhat odd to watch my wife on her knees, sucking cock. For the past ten years, her mouth had only worked its magic on me. But I felt no hostility. Instead, I was overcome by a sense of erotic rapture. Watching her sexual display had always turned me on, and this courtside seat gave me the perfect view. It was like watching an erotic movie, only the star was my devoted wife. 
Others were equally hypnotized by the display. Erica, Linh and Mark stared with gaping mouths at my wife's performance. Everyone was too aroused to talk, and the sloppy sound of her increasingly eager mouth filled the room. 
Linh's hand wandered absentmindedly over her boyfriend's body. As it found his erection, she gave it a soft squeeze. Realizing what she was doing, she looked down on it, then back at my wife. With shaky fingers, she lowered his zipper, and fished out his erection. She panted as she wrapped her fingers around it. It looked big in her petite hand. She gave him a few strokes, but then let him go. 
"Go on," she whispered. "Let her do it." 
Mark didn't hesitate. He quickly got up and stepped over before my wife. She looked up at him, and then at his cock. It was begging for attention, and she reached out and guided him to her mouth. The R-rated show had just gotten steamier. 
Ann moved her mouth between them. From her moans I could tell she enjoyed being a good hostess. Adding to the decadence, I reached for my glass and raised it to the women in the couch. Erica beamed back, and grabbed her glass to return my salutation. Linh however couldn't divert her eyes from the explicit scene before her, enchanted by the sight of her former mentor sucking her boyfriend's cock. 
"Fuck her tits," Linh instructed, too intoxicated by her lust to be restrained. 
Erica grinned, amused by the extroverted vulgarity coming from the previously so timid girl. 
"Go on boys," she said. "You heard her." 
Ann let the generous amount of saliva in her mouth drool down between her tits. Ready to serve, she pressed her tits together. Mark accepted the invitation, bending his knees slightly as he squeezed his cock in between her breasts. 
Linh was glued to the sight as her boyfriend began pumping his cock back and forth. As he backed away, Fred quickly replaced him. The two took their turns a few times, until Ann found a way to lean back and accept Fred's cock in her mouth as Mark kept sliding his cock between her tits. They found their rhythm, and it wasn't long before the inevitable was getting close. 
"I want you to cum on her tits," Linh continued her instructions. Her mouth twitched nervously for a second, as if she just realized how inappropriate she was. But she was too far gone to care. 
Mark moved back slightly. He pumped his cock, aiming for my wife's tits. She held them together as an inviting target. Linh's command was probably meant for her boyfriend, but my wife's chest was appealing to Fred as well. He too began stroking himself before Ann. Moments later, both men erupted, shooting long white strands across her tits. They grunted, and my wife moaned as the cum splashed against her tits. 
As the frenzy settled, Ann remained kneeling. She held up her cum covered tits, as if displaying them for the audience. She looked at me for directions, and when I didn't immediately give her any, she turned to Erica.
The redhead grinned cunningly and stood up. My jaw dropped as she reached under her dress and yanked down her panties.  
She threw them aside as she sat down again. Reaching for the hem of her dress, she pulled it up to her waist. Her pussy was absolutely gorgeous, completely shaved except for a narrow strip of red hair that pointed down to her sweet spot. Emphasized by her high heels, her slender legs looked even longer than usual, and she shamelessly spread them wide as an invite. My wife stared, but...

TPGMO: When the wife’s away.... 😈

via Instagram

I don't know if you've noticed but I've been making a whole bunch of sexualized posts here and on my Twitter and Tumblr accounts lately (some I’ve now deleted). These stem from my having abstained from sex since January 4th. Well, I didn't so much as abstain as not get any. As I mentioned on TMI Tuesday earlier this week:

5. Your most unexpected achievement? 
~ I haven't had any sex of any sort since January 4th (not even solo) and yet I've managed to keep it together. Usually I start climbing the walls, but this time I've been able to contain myself. The trick is to watch lots of Netflix and not join your wife in bed - otherwise you just upset yourself festering over the sex you're not having with that woman lying next to you.

I decided I would not initiate and see how long it would take for her to initiate sex. The experiment has been terminated at 20 days because my wife left today for 8 days in China. She's at a BNG 'conference' but that's only 4 days so the rest is shopping in Hong Kong. Or fucking her lover - what do I know? She has quite literally told me nothing about where she's going, where she's staying, or how I can contact her. I only know the conference is 4 days (3.5 really) because I googled it.

Yesterday Kayla Lords retweeted my Twitter link to Monday's Sexting Selfies - Part 2 post, along with a comment, that I replied to, that she then replied to:

Kayla is absolutely correct - I've been tying myself up in knots lately, getting more sexually frustrated as 'the drought' continued. That's been reflected in my posts, and more obviously in my attempts at erotic 'fiction' for various memes like Masturbation Monday, Wicked Wednesday, and Kink Of The Week.

Well, good news people! I've been masturbating daily since my wife left!! And I feel so much better now!!!

It's been so liberating. If I'm horny I just jerk off. No abstaining because I might be having sex with my wife sometime in the next three days. No waiting three days and then waiting some more because even though we didn't have sex we might be having sex sometime in the next three days.

So you're probably wondering what this 'three days' business is about...?

Every three days we have something on that a reasonable person in a loving relationship might reasonably assume could be a something that might lead to sex later on, given that 'Date Nights' were dispensed with a long time ago (my wife is just too busy to commit) so 'something' will have to suffice.

'Something' is usually dinner out, drinks with friends, or a party with friends. Or a big event where my wife can frock up and alcohol is consumed. The latter is key to all the 'somethings' I suppose, which is a sad state of affairs. Basically my wife has to be relaxed to be horny, which she achieves through liberal use of wine or Literotica. She'll binge on both and then get amorous. 

The problem is that lately she's ben doing the bingeing but not the amorous. 

I did think maybe we'd get some alone time before she left but that never happened. She'd invited a girlfriend over for the weekend (on her way to Europe) which put paid to that, and her last night before leaving was spent packing for the 8 day trip.  It's almost like she was trying to put obstacles in our way so that there was no time for intimacy.

Which was why I chuckled when she started texting me from Hong Kong telling me how much she missed me already. Dammit lady, you had your chance!! No, I didn't say that. I just sent her hugs 'n kisses emojis and dismissed her empty words. She always gets like that when she's lonely, the minute she got to Guangzhou the messages stopped. She's in conference mode now, meeting and networking with lots of new people. She loves that stuff (and the 'after parties'!) so won't be lonely anymore.

Anyway, I didn't mean to moan. I started this post to let y'all know I've been spanking the monkey like a teenager since she's been gone. All is good. And since TPGMO stands for 'This Porno Got Me Off' I'll leave you with a small excerpt from a five page story on Literotica that seemed to work for me (fee free to analyze why). Click this link to read the full story.

UPDATE: the excerpt is too long! So you'll have to wait for Part 2 which will be posted in 2 hours, I promise!! (here's the link to Part 2)

Anyone doing the Adult Coloring Book thing?

via Instagram

Anyone doing the #adultcoloringbook thing? This is #zatanna - print the image and colour it in! 

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Kink of the Week (KOTW) ~ 'Blindfolds'

From my post: This reminds me...   Image source: via Instagram
The Kink of the Week (KOTW) prompt this week is 'Blindfolds'

Here is a collection of excerpts from my blog posts* that involve blindfolds. Links are provided so follow them if you're intrigued. I've never actually written up the story of the time I blindfolded my wife, believe it or not! Not yet, at least. In fact I think I did it twice. I definitely did it to my last girlfriend (before my wife) - that story also involved tying her to an old antique chair...**

1. During sex, would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold your lover? 
I'd rather blindfold my lover, and I have. If she wanted to blindfold me that would be fine (she's never asked or suggested it) but it's not something I would ask for. I'm a guy ie very visual! I like to see what's going on - which is why I often turn up the lights (albeit dimmed). 
~ TMI Tuesday: Would you rather... ~ December 10, 2013

I have done things to him that I wish he would do to me: bite him, pinch his nipples, tighten my grip around his neck, pull his hair, blindfold him (he would not let me tie him up) and used toys on him, touch his ass and apply pressure on his asshole (he would probably kill me if I inserted anything in his ass). He would pretty much just tell me he doesn’t like those things and he would like me not to do them - with the exception of the hair pulling.

~ When Couples Don't Talk - Part 2 ~ Wednesday, January 8, 2014

6. If I weren’t so afraid, I would _____. 
____ blindfold my wife, tie her to the bed, drive her crazy with soft wet kisses before forcing her to orgasm via a vibrator she can't escape, and the I'd fuck her. Probably in the ass too, but I'm not sure how I can if she's tied to all four corners of the bed. Maybe if she's cum so hard for so long she'll be delirious and I can release her ankles and lift her legs...? 
~ TMI Tuesday: Fill In the Blanks ~ September 13, 2016

...Anyway after watching '50 Shades of Gray' we had a brief discussion about how lame it was and a very tentative discussion about 'doing that sort of stuff'. She couldn't even say it out loud, and yet I know the majority of her erotic reading titles are in the BDSM or Forced Submission genres. 

So we danced around the subject and she pretty much confirmed that I wouldn't be tying her up and spanking her anytime soon. She did mention that I had put a blindfold on her once, and she'd liked that - and I remembered that episode well. I'd put an airline sleeper mask on her and when she asked why I said so she couldn't see anything - and gave her permission (jokingly, but not really joking) to imagine she was in bed with whomever she wanted to imagine.

She became very aroused and we had really good sex, so I suspect she did indeed imagine she was with someone else - but I did not ask her about it afterwards. And she certainly wasn't 'fessing up to it now, a year or two later!

~ About that sex last weekend... ~ Thursday, July 20, 2017

2. Ever blindfolded your partner for sex? - or have you been blindfolded during sex? 
~ I used one of those airline blindfolds once, with good results. Not a regular thing though. When I pulled it out she asked "what's that for?" and I told her it was because I just wanted her to lie back and relax. And so she did, plumped up on her pillows. I ate her out slowly and she came hard. 
TMI Tuesday ~ Sexy Time! – August 29, 2017

Is there a kink or fantasy you’re yearning to try?

I have a few fantasies I haven’t tried but want to - I’ve been with my wife 25+ years and time is running out! Unfortunately my wife seems to think sex should happen spontaneously and therefore if I was ever to say ‘how about we try anal this weekend?’ the answer would be “Hell No”. 

One fantasy I have is to tie her to the bed and go to town on her with her vibrators (forced orgasms) and then when she is a quivering mess lube her up and fuck her arse - while she has a vibe trapped on her clit beneath her. 

Unfortunately you can’t just spring all of that on someone IRL so I guess it will never happen...

* The last link is not one of my blog posts, but one by Posy Churchgate. She interviewed me and that was one of my answers!

** all antiques are old, right? that's what makes them antique!!


This is post has been submitted to the KOTW (Kink of the Week) meme, following their prompt 'Blindfolds'. You can read more stories like this one by other bloggers by clicking this link.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

TMI Tuesday: January 23, 2018 ~ The most perfect favorite things!

Let’s talk faves, the most, and perfection at TMI Tuesday blog.

1. Favorite childhood memory?

~ I'm over 50 - you expect me to remember? 

Actually, I do have one. 

When I was 10 a girl invited me to her house after school on a Friday, to swim in her pool. She was absolutely gorgeous and had long hair and wore the prettiest clothes. Her parents were rich and lived on the ridge that over looked the town. Their house was huge and so was their swimming pool. Everything was built out of expensive stone and beautifully landscaped. They must have been millionaires, they were 'living large' two decades before that was a thing. 

The sun was perfect as it shone down on us and we swam and talked and hung out for hours. As it turned dark a party (for grownups) started and her parents were oblivious to the fact I was still there. My parents rolled up at 9pm and pulled me out of the pool, having wondered where I was and why I hadn't come home at 6pm. I didn't care, I had spent the day with the prettiest girl in school and we had gotten on so well it was clear we were meant to be together.

On Monday she said 'Hi' to me and then went back to her friends. Love is fleeting.

2. Favorite moment in the last 3 months?

~ Last October, when my wife flew home from Amsterdam five days early (due to a work thing) leaving me to sneak off on an unplanned side trip of my own to Barcelona. (I contemplated visiting the UK but looking up fellow sex bloggers IRL is not a smart idea).

3. Favorite drink on a hot summer day?

~ Jack Daniels & Coke in a tall glass with big ice blocks, mixed strong. I will happily accept Jim Beam.

4. Perfect day out: what, where, with whom?

~ My wife and I are in the fortunate position of being able to (within reason) do pretty much what we like, where ever we like, and with whomever we like. Unfortunately lately this has meant us each 'doing our own thing' ie not doing things together. I think 2018 is the year I become ambivalent about our waning sex life.

5. Your most unexpected achievement?

~ I haven't had any sex of any sort since January 4th (not even solo) and yet I've managed to keep it together. Usually I start climbing the walls, but this time I've been able to contain myself. The trick is to watch lots of Netflix and not join your wife in bed - otherwise you just upset yourself festering over the sex you're not having with that woman lying next to you. 

I decided I would not initiate and see how long it would take for her to initiate sex. The experiment has been terminated at 20 days because my wife left today for 8 days in China. She's at a BNG 'conference' but that's only 4 days so the rest is shopping in Hong Kong. Or fucking her lover - what do I know? She has quite literally told me nothing about where she's going, where she's staying, or how I can contact her. I only know the conference is 4 days (3.5 really) because I googled it.

Bonus: The kindest thing you ever did for a stranger?

~ I am comfortable knowing I've done some kind things for strangers, without needing to mention it here. Because that might identify me IRL. 

But yes, I'm a believer in random acts of kindness (for their own sake).

Double Bonus: I assure you these are both erotic fictionSexting Selfies and it's sequel, Part 2.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Monday, January 22, 2018

Sexting Selfies - Part 2

This is a complete work of fiction. It stands alone but it really would be better if you read Part 1 first. This sequel was intended for Wicked Wednesday but I was late, so here we are on Masturbation Monday...!

I was so angry I ran up the stairs two at a time. I was angry because last night she said she was going to sext me today, but when she did it was humiliating.

Last night she had proudly (and drunkenly) told the other couples at the bar that we had been together 21 years, all because she knew the secret to a long term relationship. "It's the routine!" she said triumphantly "you can't fall into a routine - whatever you do, don't let the sex get routine. Otherwise someone gets bored and goes elsewhere - so don't let the sex get routine. You gotta spice it up!"

I was angry because she always gets like this when she's had a few wines. She tries to win everyone over with her wit and charm but always ends up telling inappropriate stories of a sexual nature. It's like our meet-cute story wasn't cute enough so she has to add in the story of our first fuck. Sure, she flatters me when she tells that story - but why does she have to tell it to people we've only just met that night?

It's the hypocrisy that infuriates me. Like most couples who have been together as long as we have the zing has definitely left our marriage. We have sex maybe once a month and it's timid at best. And yet here is my wife bragging to casual acquaintances about how our marriage has survived so long because she *wink wink* doesn't let the sex get routine.

On the ride home I made it clear to her that her stories were embarrassing. It annoyed me that she was trying to project an image of her being a sexually adventurous woman when she was no such thing. When she protested I challenged her to name the last time she'd initiated sex, and to name a time when she'd done something remotely kinky.

"You can't even sext me!" I told her "you've never even sent me a topless selfie - not once in our 21 years!"

"Fine - if you want to see my tits on your cellphone I'll sext you tomorrow!" she shouted back "but you sure as well won't be seeing them tonight!!"

So we went to bed angry and avoided each other the following morning. It's a big house and not hard to do. The Cold War continued into the afternoon, which was why I was so surprised when out of the blue I got a sexy pic from my wife A very sexy pic! 'What do you think?' was the message, together with a photo of her bare breasts in all their glory. Beneath her boobs I could see her hand snaking down to her pussy, hidden beneath the covers. It was a provocative shot alright, and I had to give her an A+ for effort and execution.

This is not me, but is the closest match I could find on 4chan
And then she ruined it all by promising a pussy pic in return for a dick pic from me - only to mock it when it arrived: "Yeah, no. You're too small - and who the fuck uses emojis at your age? No pussy pic for you OLD MAN!!!!"

As soon as I read that something exploded in my head. I raced upstairs to the bedroom and found her on the bed, looking at her phone. She was still topless, pretty much as she'd been when she'd sent me the photo, with the covers still pulled up. As I entered the room she looked up at me, grinning - she obviously thought it was all a big joke. That I was a big joke. Because my dick was so old and small.

Her face fell when she saw the look on my face. She could see I was angry - livid in fact.

"I was just kidding" she squealed, as I strode over to the bed. "I was just joking - it was a joke!" she repeated, as she tried to crawl away from me and escape out the other side of the bed. I grabbed her ankle and pulled her back. "I didn't find it funny" I said, as she collapsed onto the bed "in fact I'm fucking sick of your bullshit. All those lies you tell people about our sex life when in fact it's nonexistent"

My wife was lying prone in front of me, completely naked. Her head remained fixed on the bedroom wall in front of me; she said nothing, and did nothing. She remained still. She was on her stomach, her arms stretched ahead of her, her long legs trailing behind her, down to my hand which still gripped her ankle. Her silence frustrated me and her big round arse taunted me. Just like her it said nothing and did nothing, it just sat there.

I realized my cock was hard. This was confusing.

My dick was erect and I couldn't understand why. I was was angry, not horny. I was really angry and not in the least bit interested in my wife at this moment. She had belittled me sexually so I had no intention in giving in to her sexual power by fucking her. And yet I was hard. My cock was throbbing in fact, straining at my zipper.

I gazed at her butt, observing the soft skin that enveloped her perfect apple bottom. My eyes followed the line of the crease that divided the two rounded halves, all the way up to the dimples at the bottom of her spine. I twitched. My cock betrayed me.

I knew what the problem was - it was her ass. I sprang forward onto the bed, kneeling beside her plump little tushie. My hand came down in the same instance, smacking her square on one cheek. It made a loud thwacking sound and stung my hand. I guess it felt the same for her because she squealed. Loudly.

"OW!! What the fuck are you doing?" she cried out.

"I'm.sick.of.all.your.shit!!" I shouted back, striking her butt at every word "You need to be PUNISHED!"

The first smacks had been uncoordinated, I was flailing wildly, but when I said 'punished' I delivered the piece de resistance - a blow that struck cleanly on the bottom of both cheeks at the same time. This caused her arse to jiggle as it wobbled up and down. It actually looked quite sexy, so I delivered another slap, just the same, for good measure.

My wife had gone quiet again, which was unusual for her. Which annoyed me. I had expected her to struggle and resist but instead she lay there, taking her punishment. What pleasure is there in punishing someone if they accept it? That negates the punitive aspect of it, surely? I lifted my hand high and brought it down hard and fast on her butt. Once again the room echoed with a resounding "thwack!!"

This time my wife reared up, and screamed.

"Ow! Fuck no!" she begged "that one really hurt".

A small smile curled across my mouth as I placed one hand in the middle of her back and pushed her back into the mattress. Holding her down firmly with one hand I delivered some short sharp smacks to her blushing derriere. They weren't as rough or as hard as the earlier ones, but only because I was struggling to hold her down with one hand while punishing her with the other. I hadn't intended to go lightly on her, but the result was fascinating.

If you're reading captions you should probably know that
my dick probably isn't as big as in that other pic. It's hard to tell.
Every time I slapped her ass my wife made a little grunt.

It was a grunt I recognized. It was the same noise she made when I was fucking her. The same noise she made when I was pounding her hard from behind, slamming into her rough and wild... and deep.

So my wife enjoyed being spanked - why was I not surprised?

My emotions were mixed. I was still so angry at her but it was also funny. My strait-laced wife who talked a big game in front of others but remained strictly vanilla behind closed doors actually liked a good spanking. I couldn't help but chuckle inside - sure, I'd delivered the odd slap on the butt or two over the years but she'd never responded in a way that indicated anything like this.

I pressed my hand down harder onto the small of her back, pinning her, and with the other hand I pulled her legs apart. I could see she was wet. Her pussy was glistening and there seemed to be a very small wet spot on the sheet beneath her. I brought my hand down again, slapping the entire space between her legs. My hand smacked both her ass and her cunt, and I raked a finger up between her wet slit as I pulled my hand away.

My wife moaned. She was lying face down on the mattress with arms raised in the 'hands up' position, and her fists were balled up and clenched, pulling at the sheets. She was clearly waiting for what ever happened next, and determined to take it.

I grabbed her suddenly and flipped her over in one swift movement. Her eyes flung wide open and she looked at me in shock. I spread her legs again, wider this time, and delivered another slap straight down on her pussy. It wasn't as hard as a smack but her back arched and she gasped. I slapped her cunt again, cupping my hand slightly, and making a delicious smacking sound. I delivered a third slap and then a fourth - with every blow she moaned, gasped and arched her back.

As she slumped back into the mattress she looked up at me in desperation.

"Omigod! My pussy is so wet, my clit feels like it's about to explode" she said lustily. "I need your cock!" she said pleadingly "just fuck me, now! Pleeeease?!"

"You want my cock?" I teased, as I placed my hand over her vulva and cupped her pussy again. "Are you sure this won't do?" I asked, as I pressed one wet finger down between her slick folds. She was so wet my fingers were lubed immediately so I slipped one slippery digit inside her, followed by another. I began slowly curling both fingers in and out, as my open palm bounced against her clit.

Her clit really was hard, like a little button, and I could feel the nub against my hand every time I pushed against it. It wasn't something I could feel when I slapped her pussy, so I relished the feeling of this more intimate movement. Every time I made contact with her clit she moaned or writhed so I had to ask tease her again "Are you sure you want me to fuck you? Aren't you happy with a good fingering?"

"Oh god yes" she said, staring me directly in the eye "I want your cock inside me, now, please honey, stick it inside me!"

"This little thing?" I said, as I stood up and dropped my pants "you really want this old cock?"

My prick sprang out, standing tall and proud. The head was purple and it was already dripping slightly. Like Pavlov's Dog my wife actually licked her lips involuntarily, as she rearranged herself on the bed to face me. Her legs were splayed out wide and ready to receive me. My cock throbbed and I had to admit to myself it looked pretty impressive. I was going to make my wife eat her words - literally!

But first...

I grabbed my phone ... and took ... the best.dick.pic.ever.


This post has also been submitted to Masturbation Monday
Click the link for more stories like this one!


This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)

Sunday, January 21, 2018

The siren call...SINFUL SUNDAY

via Instagram

Given I haven’t had sex since Jan 4 and my wife leaves tomorrow for an 8 day ‘conference’ I hope I don’t succumb to the siren call of the ‘Gentleman’s Club’...
Repost from @hbexotic - “It's 2018, let's bring the freak outta you this year!”

 #lapdance #gentlemensclub #sexy #poledance #hotgirls #neroblogshere #stripper #strippers #dancers #ass #booty #heartbreakers 

Saturday, January 20, 2018

OPP ~ #SoSS - Blogs I love

This is the image Mrs Fever used to illustrate her blog post (see that link below)
It's a self portrait by Molly Moore © and you can find more of her photos here

The #SoSS meme is a roundup of favourite blogs I’ve visited this week. In order not to duplicate what others have done for #SoSS (Share Our Shit Saturday) (or Sunday if you forget/run out of time) I’m going to give you links to some of their older stuff - because I think their complete blogs are worth reading. Click the links for the full stories, because these are just excerpts.

So here we go, in no particular order:

Mrs Fever - 'Temperatures Rising' ~ "Porn-NO: An Exploration of Erotic Imagery"

I recently asked Twitter what they thought about the images I used to illustrate my posts, since they are mostly NSFW - and some are more pornographic than erotic. Mrs Fever was one of many who answered (here) and that led me to her excellent post on the subject on her blog:
When I think of pornography, what comes to mind is explicit visual depictions of penetrative sex acts: disembodied genitals, objectification of the individual, baseness/crassness… Basically, graphic displays of sexual aggression. 
And while I know it can be argued that porn comes in multiple forms, the word is associative for me, and is specific to images. Pictures. Moving pictures, especially. Watching a pornographic film is, to me, about as uplifting an experience as watching a slug crawl through the freshly turned dirt in my rose garden.

Images of my lover, often sent without seductive intent, will sometimes spark a low flame that accelerates a heat in me. A picture of his smooth-shaven skin will call to mind one of our rituals. His lips, bowed into a kiss....
M ~ "Cammies On The Floor' "Orgasm Hungry"

M probably needs no introduction since her blog is award winning and already well known. She writes great posts, and the title of this one reeled me in. This is just a small teaser excerpt of a more detailed exposition:
I am incredibly lucky that I orgasm easily, it lends itself to how greedy, how needy I can be. The first orgasm is the longest work and hardest to maintain – it is also often the weakest. All it does is feed my craving for another. My body is tenser, tighter, wanting and willing to work towards the second orgasm – which is always just on the horizon, easy to view and not hard to slide into.

The catch, of course, is that the second orgasm makes it easier to come harder and faster. And the third makes me far more greedy than the first. On and on my body goes, wanting the next – it’s not always that the subsequent ones are harder nor even better, fireworks do not suddenly explode in orgasm splendor; but the more that I orgasm, the easier it is for me to reach another one. When every nerve is sensitive and feels pleasurable, it’s a challenge to not pursue that pleasure
... [continued]

Ancilla_Ksst - Slave To Master ~ "Let's Do It"

I discovered Ancilla via the TMI Tuesday blog. She is an owned slave, married to her Master. Her lifestyle is completely foreign to me and some of the stuff they do is well beyond me but I always find her blog fascinating. Not my kink, but worth a read:
Pulling weeds in the heat of the sun, my cunt still sore from being used roughly earlier that warm Sunday morning, I crawled across the sandy soil, careful over the spiny pumpkin vines, plucking out the long grasses from among them. Master worked several feet away from me in his own patch of weedy vines.

"Pull up your shirt while you work so I can see your tits" he ordered. I lifted my shirt, freeing them, since I hadn't put on a bra that day. I attempted to tuck the shirt around in a knot so it would stay up even when I went back to crawling, but it would only stay for a short time and then I'd have to re-tuck it to give Master the view he wanted. 
He came up to me, stood in front of me, and asked if I wanted a taste. Of course I did.

He unzipped his shorts and took out his cock. I eagerly took him in my mouth. That didn't last long before he turned me around, told me to get on all fours and jerked at my shorts. I helped slide them down in front. His cock slid into my aching wet hole. Soon he pulled me to stand up and ordered me to grab the corner post of the garden fence. I gripped rough wood in both hands as he entered me again

Friday, January 19, 2018

“Why did you make me buy that sh!t?”

via Instagram

“Why did you make me buy that sh!t?” said my wife.

“I dunno, maybe because it looks so damn sexy?” I thought to myself - but didn’t reply.

This was what my wife said last night at dinner, to our friends, about that time I took her to buy some lingerie in Paris. It was all her choice. She found the store and started browsing. All I did was offer to pay for whatever she liked... an offer she liked. She tried it on, she looked good in it, so I offered to buy it for her - as simple as that.

That was last year... and I’ve never seen her wear it. And now all she ‘remembers’ is that I ‘made her’ buy it - WTF?

"Why do you always buy me sexy lingerie and try to dress me like a hooker" she continued "you buy it for yourself, for your pleasure, not mine"

“I dunno, maybe because I want you to know I still consider you sexually attractive even though you don't seem to think so yourself?” I thought to myself - but didn’t reply. Instead I said "You've made it clear you don't like it by not wearing it. Which is why you didn't get any for Xmas, nor for your birthday last year.  Fear not, I won't buy you any underwear ever again"

You can lead a horse to water... but you cannot make it drink.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

'365 Reasons NOT To Have A Sex Calendar' ~ Part 2

There are two footnotes to the story I published yesterday (here). You should probably read it first before you read this part, if you haven't already. Although I've called this 'Part 2' I've also added NOT to the title, for obvious reasons....

i] The following year I gave my wife a 'Sex Checkbook', which I bought at a novelty store. It contained all these checks that she could 'cash' whenever she wanted. The checks/cheques were for things similar to the calendar mentioned in SweetenDirty's post. "One Makeout Session in the Car, just like High School", "One Candlelit Bubble Bath for Two", "One Fantasy Role-play Session of Your Choosing", "One 5 Minute Quickie", etc etc.  

I gave it to her because I thought it was a better 'prompt' than the diary she had given me the previous year. There were no specific dates to make you feel like a failure if you'd missed them, and it put the control in her hands. If she was feeling sexy/frisky/horny then she could 'cash' a check of her choosing, and if she wasn't then she could just leave it for another time.

Unfortunately I gave it to her on Valentine's Day (along with other gifts) and I guess it pissed her off. She never collected on any of the 'offers' and a month later I found it in the trash basket in her home office. What made it more bittersweet was that I found the discarded checkbook just ahead of my birthday - another reminder of the ill-fated diary she'd given me the year before.

ii] A few years after that, after we'd been to couple counseling about our waning sex life (where we were taught to openly communicate our feelings to each other) I told my wife on the ride home about that diary she'd given me and how sad it had made me since we never had any of the sex promised in the forward entries she had made. 

My wife made the sad face but then in typical fashion told me it was my fault for not initiating the sex promised in the diary. I explained that I had tried to do exactly that, many times, but that she would so often rebuff me with one excuse or another that I eventually stopped bothering. Her response to this was to laugh and say "I don't know what I was thinking!" (when she wrote and gave me that diary).

I then mentioned the checkbook I had given her the following year, which she'd thrown away. Unused. Her response to that was even more blunt. "Oh that checkbook was just stupid!" she scoffed.  

I considered both responses completely inappropriate given we'd just left the therapists office, but I bit my tongue. I knew then that couples counseling was a waste of time and we stopped soon after.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

OPP: '365 Reasons To Have A Sex Calendar'

SweetenDirty caught my eye recently when she tweeted a link to her 2009 post Review: 365 Reasons to Have A Sex Calendar. I thought she was going to talk about 'scheduled sex' but it was about something else entirely, something more literal. It's a great post and you can read it in full here.

When I read her post it made me sad and a little misty eyed because it reminded me of a very sad year in my life (circa 2004). And I'm not overstating it - when someone gives you a Diary (or calendar) full of sex prompts you get reminded of it for a very long time. A whole year!

As SweetenDirty explains, the calendar works like this:

"...The calender is filled with more than just reasons to have sex.  
On each page of this daily calendar, there is a pickup line, a bit of “wisdom” (just some random fact or piece of advice that, of course, has to do with sex), a tear off “solicitation note” telling your potential partner your reason to have sex with them, checkboxes for (a) please (b) pretty please (c) I’ll pay you (d) or else, where, when, and “please bring,” and also checkboxes at the bottom of the tear off page saying (a) I’ll respect you in the morning (b) I’ll call you (c) The kids won’t hear us. 
Lastly, at the bottom of each page it will say how many days left in the year there are to “copulate.” 
Flipping through the calendar, I noticed that some days of the year will go along with the “reason to have sex.” For example, on January 18, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the reason is “Three day weekends make me hot.” 
Speaking of weekends, instead of having two separate reasons for having sex on each day of the weekend, the calendar has a “reason to have sex this weekend” instead, putting Saturdays and Sundays on the same page..."
I posted the following reply on her post (which you can read in full here):
This calendar sound like a lot of fun. My wife once gave me a pocket diary for my birthday. She'd gone through it and inside it she'd hand written entries similar to this. It was fun for the first month or so, but then it became a testament to our waning sex life. It used to make me sad to leaf through it and be reminded of all the sex we'd 'missed'.  
Sad, because she was so excited when she gave it to me on my birthday, like she really did want to do all those things she'd effectively 'promised'. Sad because reality kicked in and the gift of 'reasons to have sex' were replaced with reasons not to have sex.
So, a word of advice from your old pal Nero. Don't give someone a gift like this unless you're prepared to follow through with it. Because if you don't it just becomes a depressing daily/weekly/monthly reminder of what is wrong with your partnership.  Sure, it starts out as fun thing but it sours when suggestions are left ignored.

And it's a two way street - you can give someone this in order to spark up your sex life but if they don't pick up on the prompts it becomes an albatross around your neck. It'll just make you more sad/depressed/or angry.

I should point out that I didn't get completely morose.  After about the third month I stopped looking at it. there was no point flipping through it because by then I knew whatever she had written in there wasn't happening. I'd look at it occasionally, when I wanted to feel sorry for myself, but then I'd bury it back in my bedside drawer - until next time.

I guess the smart thing to do would have been to throw it away but I didn't. Where it is now I have no idea - it would probably make me chuckle now, to be reminded of all her sexy promises. Promises she would have been so sincere about as she wrote them...

There are two footnotes to this story... which I'll save for another day. (see here for Part 2)

This post has also been submitted to Wicked Wednesday

click here for more 'Wicked Wednesday' stories (NSFW)