Tea! It’s better than sex, Barbara Cartland (a famous 20th century romance novelist) once claimed. I disagree entirely.
But I wonder if my wife agrees?
We went to a wedding on Friday that involved an overnight stay. Weddings are intrinsically romantic occasions so forgive me for thinking my wife and I might be sexually intimate once we got back to the hotel. Especially since our Wednesday 'scheduled sex' 'date' got bumped because my wife was busy (another early breakfast meeting the next day) and thought we should wait until Friday when we could really get down and dirty in the hotel.
What guy wouldn't accept that counter offer?
Unfortunately when we got back to the hotel room my wife said it was late (it was only midnight, FFS!) and yawned deeply and suggested we wait til morning. Check out was at 10am the next morning so I persisted, and my roaming hands seduced her quite easily. I'll give you more details tomorrow, but suffice to say she came more than once.
Hands, mouth, tongue, and cock will do that to a girl.
I obviously did too good a job because when I was done she was curled up, almost in the fetal position, gasping and groaning. When I asked her if that new thing I did worked she said 'perfect, it was perfect'. So I was happy about that.
I was less happy when she said she was done and we should get some sleep and she would 'take care of me' in the morning. "I'll give you a blow job" she promised.
WTF? My cock was standing straight up, thick and ready for it's turn but my wife was done, no need to reciprocate? Sad, but true Nero - get used to it.
Naturally I awoke the next morning at 9.50am with my wife shaking me and telling me we had to check out at 10am. Naturally this was not the wake up I expected. My long-held fantasies of being woken up by a blow job were once again left unfulfilled.
We flew home that evening and got back to the house at 9pm. We watched one of my wife's favorite shows, and when that finished my wife went to the kitchen and never came back. I thought she'd gone to get a glass of water but she was reading her Kindleporn on her iPad. Maybe she was steeling herself for later, getting herself revved up in preparation for my promised-but-postponed blowjob?
At 1am I went up bed, passing her in the kitchen. I gave her a kiss on the back of her neck (which always makes her shiver, she loves it) and she gave me a peck on the cheek in return. And that was it.
I went to bed, and tossed and turned at fell asleep about 2am, which was the last time I looked at the clock.
I was woken again at 3am when she came into the bedroom. Obviously it had been a long but satisfying binge session on her Kindleporn - she crept in quietly and crawled stealthily into bed, trying hard not to wake me. She made no effort to check if I was awake, nor did she make any effort to wake me for sex. Maybe the promised but postponed blowjob would come on Sunday morning?
It did not.
I was woken by my daughters text at 9am asking if I could pick her up from her sleepover and drop her off at work (she works in a coffee shop). So of course I did. When I went downstairs to leave I saw an empty tea cup by wife's iPad in the kitchen. That must have been some
So here I am, tapping this out at 10am as my wife sleeps off her Kindleporn binge. She will rise at mid day I'm guessing, based on past behavior. If I'm not too depressed and can be bothered, I'll write up Friday nights hot sex for tomorrows Masturbation Monday post. Meh.