I've come to dread birthdays. Every year my wife makes another excuse not to have sex with me, so I wonder what she has in store for me now? Will she even bother making an excuse, since she seems to have stopped completely. We haven't had any sexual contact since February 28 so if she's dropping back to 'once a month' then I guess tonight's the night?
For a look at the sad birthdays I've had in the past few years click the tag Birthday Sex below (or here if you're lazy). And to answer your question... no, I'm not as fat as Chris Farley in the picture above. At least not in the face. I think. I dunno, I don't look at myself in the mirror naked.